Ok, so I'm almost positive that a good friend of mine, a girl I care very much for and love dearly, has begun smoking pot. I have no idea why in the hell she would, as she is so far above doing that. She's smart, nice, sweet, caring, ambitious and all that... and I don't want to see her ruin herself with getting into stuff like this... I mean, I'm not condemning her, even if that may seem to be how it is... I just really don't think pot/drugs are any good at all and that she is def. above that kind of thing. And I want to talk to her about it. I'm worried as hell here, and just want to have a talk with her about it... oh god I'm so worried :(... I don't want to offend her of come across as mr. high-and-mighty-clean-kid wagging his finger at her, I just... damn I don't know what to say...

Someone please help me, Im so worried/confused right now... she's never been the sort to get into this kind of thing, or do this stuff... Im sorry for sounding so... whatever here, Im just really worried :(

Thanks for your help...

Wow, you sound like a wonderful friend first of all. Good friends are hard to come by. How old is she, how old are you? I mean hell, if I was smoking and someone said hey, what the hell besides my parents, I probably would look at it way differently. Being a good friend sometimes requires saying what is on your mind, politely, you don't have to shake your finger, just say hey, what's up with you and smokin pot? I thought you were on this side of the tracks... and so on and so on. Hope this helps a little. I could be wrong, but saying what is on your mind isn't a bad thing, just in the way you say it! Hugs... and stay cool!

Thank you very much for your reply.

I'm 18, and she is 16, to answer your question.
I see your point too, about if the parents said something, you'd just look the other way, and all.

Thanks again :)

If you guys are close and talk all the time... just slip it into the conversation... no intervention... you know? Good luck sweet... hugs!

Yeah, thing is though, we haven't been talking too much lately, since she's always really busy and whatnot, so I don't know... but anyway, thanks again for your input, I really appreciate it.

Sometimes we don't have a say in what our friends do...
Greatest, you can only have a say in what you do! Hugs to you...

I just read your profile...
Maybe post a fave song so I can check out your music... I love music.
And is this girl the one in your profile? The one that is smoking pot?

Yeah, I would post a song, but I have dial-up internet and it takes way too long for me to upload anything, but you can check out my group's myspace to hear our music, MySpace.com - Sea of Lights - SHELBYVILLE, Indiana - Acoustic / Electroacoustic / Crunk - www.myspace.com/seaoflights (http://www.myspace.com/seaoflights)

And yeah, that's her... idk if she def. is smoking pot or not, or what it is she's doing... maybe it's pills of some kind, who knows... but yeah, this just isn't like her at all...

Maybe it is time to call and have a talk... remind her of your friendship...
Sorry sweet...

Maybe you could could directly ask her, what is happening to her that she seems a little different from before.

Or find out if anything is going on in her life.Family,other friends,siblings etc which might be making her worry or stress.

Start is right, you are a good friend to worry.
Early intervention is the best thing,but maybe not the direct approach yet.
Signs of Teenage Marijuana Use - Teens Smoking Pot (http://www.adolescent-substance-abuse.com/signs-marijuana.html)
Marijuana facts, effects of marijuana at SAMHSA's NCADI (http://ncadi.samhsa.gov/govpubs/PHD641/)

Check these links for a few facts you will need to know before intervention.

Thank you so much for those links, I really appreciate it.
And thanks also for your advice in general.

Maybe it is time to call and have a talk...remind her of your friendship......
Sorry sweet...
Yeah, that could work, who knows... idk though, it's a very tough/confusing thing to go into, doing all this...

Thanks though.

And cool, thanks for checking out our music. I'm the guitarist, and my friend chuck is the singer, just FYI

OK, so an update:
This weekend my best friend and I will prob be hanging out with her... should I try and talk to her then? I don't know, I'm scared about it, and really nervous, but... still I want to talk to her so badly... any further thoughts?

Yes, just have a normal conversation and let it go from there sweet...
You are such a nice guy, do be like this night is about her though... she may feel a little bit of pressure...
Just go with the flow! What kind of setting will you guys be in? A party, football game, house, movies, I mean I guess that matters here a little!

Yes, just have a normal conversation and let it go from there sweet.......
You are such a nice guy, do be like this night is about her though...she may feel a little bit of pressure...
Just go with the flow! What kind of setting will you guys be in? A party, football game, house, movies, I mean i guess that matters here a little!
Yeah, I think we're going to go bowling, but I don't know for sure. And then prob go eat somewhere

And yeah I see what you mean too, I don't want to put too much pressure on her either
Thanks though

Just bowl your little heart out, have a good time and then, if there is a moment to talk say hey sweet, how you doing?

just bowl your little heart out, have a good time and then, if there is a moment to talk say hey sweet, how ya doin??
Haha OK, thanks. That's a good idea. :)

Oh what, you can't talk like that? Say hey sweet, how are you? That to me would be something very nice to hear, and I am a gosh darn girl... I would know...
I don't really think you are the pushy type but a few nice words help ease the conversation... at least to get one going...

Oh what, you can't talk like that? say hey sweet, how are ya? That to me would be something very nice to hear, and i am a gosh darn girl.....I would know....
I don't really think youare the pushy type but a few nice words help ease the conversation....at least to get one going...
Haha, no I guess I can, really, I'm just a nervous person I guess you'd say haha. Yeah, thanks though, I really appreciate the advice.

Hey sweet, how are you? LOL.. You will do fine...

Talk to her about it. Tell her you care and you don't want her doing it. If you have to tell someone what she's doing to get her help... do it. Let her know that you did it because you care and you don't want her to get in trouble but you don't want her to do anything dangerous. Me n my boyfriend got each other to quit smoking pot, because we care for each other. And when you know someone really cares about you and doesn't want you to do that stuff, it makes you feel better so you don't do it and you also want them to be proud of you for not... Talk to her about it. Its one of the best things you can do... I know, I've been in her situation.

Hey sweet, how are ya? LOL..You will do fine....
Haha, thanks :)

talk to her about it. Tell her you care and you don't want her doing it. If you have to tell someone what she's doing to get her help... do it. Let her know that you did it because you care and you don't want her to get in trouble but you don't want her to do anything dangerous. Me n my boyfriend got each other to quit smoking pot, because we care for each other. And when you know someone really cares about you and doesn't want you to do that stuff, it makes you feel better so you don't do it and you also want them to be proud of you for not... Talk to her about it. Its one of the best things you can do... I know, I've been in her situation.
Thank you very much for your advice/help. I really appreciate it. That's a re-assuring story, too, so thanks for sharing that. I see what you mean too about this:


And when you know someone really cares about you and doesn't want you to do that stuff, it makes you feel better so you don't do it and you also want them to be proud of you for not... Talk to her about it.

So anyway, thanks again. :)

Bowling tonight? Great, I hope you have a good time and get some things off your chest tonight sweet... Remember, sweet but no to mushy... K?

Hey

Well it turns out we didn't go bowling last night, I couldn't get ahold of her to invite her all week, (I had thought my best friend had already invited her for some reason, but it turned out he hadn't, so I tried, but couldn't get ahold of her)... so, oops haha. Crap... well, sometime soon, hopefully next Friday we'll be able to. :(

hey

well it turns out we didnt go bowling last night, I couldnt get ahold of her to invite her all week, (I had thought my best friend had already invited her for some reason, but it turned out he hadn't, so I tried, but couldnt get ahold of her)...so, oops haha. crap...well, sometime soon, hopefully next Friday we'll be able to. :(
Ohhh darn it... sorry for the disappointment! I hope it all works out! If you need anything... come on back!:D

Thanks, I appreciate it :)

Yeah, I'll be sure to come back if I need any help haha.

Pray!! That's I would do!:)

Please keep an eye on the dates - this is from 2008, long "cold."