Old" is when...
...your sweetie says, "Lets go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!"

...your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're
barefoot.

...a sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage
door nearest your car.

...you remember when the Dead Sea was only sick.

...going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

...you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't
have to go along.

...when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

...when you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the
police.

..."getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.

..."getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

... an "all nighter" means not getting up to pee!

Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to
Every man. Isn't that an ironic time for a guy to get those odds?

I cannot see
I cannot pee
I cannot chew
I cannot screw
My memory shrinks
My hearing stinks
No sense of smell
I look like hell
My body's drooping
Have trouble pooping
The Golden Years have come at last
The Golden Years can kiss my

When the letter G no longer brings thoughts of G strings but Geritol and grandparenting
When going out is a quick trip to the big box stores
When a late night is picking Leno or Letterman
When a quickie is a peck on the check
And going all the way is sharing a blanket
When you tell your guy his wam bam was just too much

i Hope I Never-never Get That Old,ha-ha :d :d :d :d :d