You know what I mean. :)

Those little pieces of paper that come out of the funny shaped cookies that we get at Chinese restaurants at the end of a meal, that we know are not true, and yet, in a lot of cases, we wish that they were!

After eating the cookie, they can be found in wallets, purses and hung on refrigerator doors with magnets.

So, what are some of your favorites that you really have received?

You can even be creative here and make up some that might be interesting!

My favorite ones that I have received are:

"Happy news is on its way." (Please! Oh, please! :) )

"You take a reverent attitude towards life and are most capable in guiding others." (Okay, nothing like a little ego trip here! :rolleyes: )

"You have a deep appreciation for art and music" ("It came true! It came true! They really do work!" :D )

"Share your abundant humor with others" (Huh? :confused:)

And, my all time favorite that I received when losing a game of Mahjongg on a very old Mac computer is:

"There will be a hailstone with your name on it!" :eek: )

Oh, goodness! You want me to respond at 2:22 AM (my time!) on a MONDAY?? Sheesh! Good question, will try to get on again tomorrow and give it an answer or two. :D

Nightie night! :)

Hugs, Didi

"A dear friend will place immeasurable expectations upon you." (Self explanatory.) Hahahahaha!

"A dear friend will place immeasurable expectations upon you." (Self explanatory.) Hahahahaha!

I resemble that remark! :D :eek:

Waaah! Nobody likes my post! :(

Any more takers? :)

Ill go the opposite way...

My wife went to a chinese place that's been a fav of mine for years. She brought home the chocolate dipped fortune cookie for me... presenting it with "i saved this for you" and a smile.

I gladly thanked her, opened it, ate the cookie and read. When she saw my scowling she said "what?!"

It said "you are obstinate and always wrong"

I said "this was YOUR fortune!"

The RUDEST fortune cookie ever! Nice bit of writing, tightly done, no filler or useless flourishes, quick to the point.

To this day ill still get from time to time from her "well you KNOW you are obstinate and always wrong"

I've never had nor seen one that was dipped in chocalate.

"Don't make excuses. Make good."

Anybody ever done the joke where you put the words "in bed." at the end of any fortune cookie?

Huh?

You just add "in bed." to the end of any fortune cookie. It's fun!

They will all wonder why I'm rolling around on the floor laughing next time we have Chinese for supper.

Hey! You changed your answer! That's cheating!

I thought I might have offended you, and I certainly didn't want to do that.

Are we the only two people here tonight?

I know what you mean. It's usually very dead on Friday and Saturday nights. A lot of the usuals are gone. When I am house sitting for people over a weekend, I really like Friday and Saturday nights here because there are less interruptions by others who are really new to the site. Just hopefully, if someone posts who is really in trouble, there will be one or two others on at the same time who I know will also be helpful to the person who is in need that I can ask to join in on the post. Sometimes, that has not been the case though. It can get kind of strange when I seem to be by myself answering those posts. But, there are times when it's just great and I and the poster are really clicking and having a good problem solving session without interruptions.

76-year-old friend just left a message. Got to return phone call right away.

I forgot about the "in bed" game... another version is "in your pants"...

you will have good luck... in bed. You will meet an exciting stranger... in your pants. Always a fun twist. Well... wait... no... not in my case since now I'm

"obstinate and always wrong in bed"

PERFECT.

nothing like starting the weekend with a fifth of vodka.

*joking of course*

yeah this place has cookies with one half dipped in chocolate, like you'd get a choc dipped strawberry. Its yummy.

in bed. Perfect. I don't think I ever told my wife about that game. Just takes it to another level. =)

Any other takers? The clock is ticking... :eek:

My boyfriend said one time he had one that said "you will meet the man of your dreams" then he said he would never read those again

This brought back another memory I have so well of my boyfriend where his mom took us to the chinese restaurant.. I kept trying to get him to read one of those fortune cookies but he wouldn't. I remember that day so well for a reason that I'd rather not say.
And no effence to anyone or anything... this is funny though. My brother has a friends that's "big" and he even laughs at himself. Hes one of those kind of people. And him and my brother are always going to all you can eat places and stuff when they hang out... 1 time they went to the chinese all you can eat place and my brothers friend got them kicked out because he just sat their where they had the fortune cookies and kept eating them all.. and he went to get some food and didn't even bother taking it to a table to eat it.

I have one taped to my monitor at work. It says:

If you think small is insignificant, you have never slept with a mosquito in the room.

My bf said one time he had one that said "you will meet the man of your dreams" then he said he would never read those again

Hahahahaha! It took me a minute to catch the significance of this! I must be too tired or something!

Good one, br!

Hugs, Didi

You just add "in bed." to the end of any fortune cookie. It's fun!

The version that I learned is '... between the sheets'.:eek:

I have one taped to my monitor at work. It says:

If you think small is insignificant, you have never slept with a mosquito in the room.

Good one, Em... and so very true!

Hugs, Didi

"One who who has excellent advice for people and not been here for awhile, will return."

"One who who has excellent advice for people and not been here for awhile, will return."

;)

Waaah! Nobody likes my post! :(

Any more takers? :)
We do dear, but do you know what is the time here? It's 9am and I am reading your post instead of doing my jobs. You know what? I will answer you.
I have gotten one 18 months ago and it's happened and still trying to recover from it.
< you will have bad days that you cannot bear! Don't give up.>

I put the ones that are my favorites on my refrigerator. :)

This place is shakin' from our 5 a.m. until our noon. Be patient. The holiday approaches.

This place is shakin' from our 5 a.m. until our noon. Be patient. The holiday approaches.

Teacher, was that a fortune cookie? :confused: :rolleyes:

I should have quoted you first. You were whining about no one responding.

I should have quoted you first. You were whining about no one responding.

If I had a picture of a baby crying, I would have put that in the post! :)

You're a grown man. You should be ashamed.

You're a grown man. You should be ashamed.

How do you know? I could just be some really smart kid who's using an adult's login to this site!

I have webcams trained on you. Don't try to guess where they are. You can't imagine.

I have webcams trained on you. Don't try to guess where they are. You can't imagine.

Oh, yes I can imagine!

Ah, I remember! You're the one that I bought my computer from!!

(You almost caused me to choose to say something bawdy. But, I decided to bite my tongue!) ;)

Bawdy hahahahahaha! NO ONE has used that word since Shakespeare.

Bawdy hahahahahaha! NO ONE has used that word since Shakespeare.

Somebody just did! ;)

Confucius say: "He who stands on toilets is high on pot."

He who laughs last is laughing at you... in bed... ROTFLMAO

Confucius say: "War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left."




In bed?

"If you wish to, you will have an opportunity"

"In order to take advantage of an opportunity, one must first recognize it"

I've always thought that if it was my job to write them, it would be hard to resist throwing in a zinger occasionally--something like "Your car is on fire in the parking lot"

Confucius say, "This thread not dead!" :D

Craig I've never had a fourtune cookie I feel somewhat left out now :( and I love chinese food mmmmmmm in fact I just love food lol

Craig ive never had a fourtune cookie i feel somewhat left out now :( and i love chinese food mmmmmmm in fact i just love food lol

Don't they have Chinese restaurants in England? :confused: I also love Chinese food! Eating Chinese food was a great part of my diet for awhile. Eating it is part of how I lost so much weight over a period.

Yeah blimey there everywhere along with the indian ones but I've still never had a cookie I'm starting to think I'm depribed

Yeah blimey there everywhere along with the indian ones but ive still never had a cookie im starting to think im depribed

Getting a fortune cookie is a normal part of going to a Chinese restaurant, at least it is where I live. How about just asking for one the next time that you are at a Chinese restaurant?

Ha they don't give anything away for free here giggle your more likely to be given a plate of imperial mints than a cookie.

Confucius say, "I gotta go to bed so that I can get up to ride with people for two gigs that we are playing at over the weekend out of town." So long, for now!. Will be back in full force on Sunday night!

After my father's funeral in 1972, the family went out to a Chinese restaurant for lunch. At the end of the meal, we opened our fortune cookies. My mother turned white as a sheet and said, "Oh my God!" She handed me her fortune... it said:

Do not despair. He is well.

I swear, this is a true story. Can you say "synchronicity?" :)

Synchronicity - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synchronicity)

(by the way, Clough, this was in Rock Island Illinois at a now-defunct restaurant in the block just east of the Post Office; I think it was called "The Chinese Kitchen")

Vasily

After my father's funeral in 1972, the family went out to a Chinese restaurant for lunch. At the end of the meal, we opened our fortune cookies. My mother turned white as a sheet and said, "Oh my God!" She handed me her fortune... it said:

Do not despair. He is well.

I swear, this is a true story. Can you say "synchronicity?" :)

Synchronicity - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synchronicity)

(by the way, Clough, this was in Rock Island Illinois at a now-defunct restaurant in the block just east of the Post Office; I think it was called "The Chinese Kitchen")

Vasily

Amazing how messages that are so appropriate seem to come at just the right times.

Synchronicity? I would think so!

Below is from Synchronicity - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synchronicity)



Synchronicity is the experience of two or more events which occur in a meaningful manner, but which are causally (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causality) unrelated. In order to be synchronous, the events must be related to one another conceptually, and the chance that they would occur together by random chance must be very small.

I thought that this one was kind of cute! :)

"Your future is embarrassing. I can't even talk about it without curling right back up."

I thought that this one was kind of cute! :)

"Your future is embarrassing. I can't even talk about it without curling right back up."

You received THAT in a fortune cookie?? Hahahahaha!

I am tearing you away from the funny side and will share my most recent one: "Life will return to you WHAT YOU are prepared to put in it." Oh, so very true!

Hugs, Didi

Hey, Didi! So good to see you back and active on the site! You have been sorely missed! :) :p :D

Actually, I didn't find that particular fortune cookie in a cookie. I found it on the Internet and thought that it was clever! :cool: :)

"Life will return to you are prepared to put in it."

I'm not sure that I quite understand it? :confused:

I can be kind of dense, you know!

I keep one by my computer, as it were. Just because it's the most awesome fortune I've seen from a cookie.

"Art misunderstanding by calm, poise and balance. Lucky # 18, 6, 55, 17, 19, 20"

Pfffffftttttt!! Corrections made! :)

Thank you, Didi! Now I understand. Sounds like the kind of fortune cookie that I also need to receive right now! :)

Hi! Clough, Didi,

I just wanted to join in. My grandson and I have movie night on Friday nights. This consists of a bottle of cola for him and a bottle of wine for me and some Chinese take away. Our Chinese take away guy is very generous and often pops bits and pieces in the bag along with two fortune cookies. In the beginning, too busy with my food and wine to be bothered reaching for my glasses, I let my grandson undo them. He got such a good result and put such a smile on his face that I now let him read them each week. So far they have all been quite positive.

I got one once when I was going through stuff, I kept it for a long time then lost it. It said, "Life is not a fortune cookie!" I was in Glasgow at the time and that is quite typical of the Glasgow humour.


PS. Didi, Good to see you back. Hope alls well. The meeting with his mum went really well and he learned that he has another three brothers, that makes 5!!! He is looking so much happier. Thanks for all your advice.

A co-worker said to me add "between the sheets." to your fortune cookie sayings. It makes them quite interesting.

Originally Posted by bluerose
It said, "Life is not a fortune cookie!"


How true! :)

"Life is not a fortune cookie between the sheets."

Interesting. Very interesting. :)

Googled 'fortune cookie' and got this -


http://i135.photobucket.com/albums/q134/asdat/g4.jpg

Just for fun check this out - :)

My Fortune Cookie: Free virtual fortune cookie (http://www.myfortunecookie.co.uk/)



Or send a Bad Fortune Cookie to your enemy.


Bad Cookie - Real Web Chinese Fortune Cookie (http://www.badcookie.com/)

And finally my favourite -

"The shortest distance between two people is a smile."

"Life is not a fortune cookie between the sheets."

Interesting. Very interesting. :)

Probably so. Not much room for guessing there! LOL! :p

;)

Googled 'fortune cookie' and got this -


http://i135.photobucket.com/albums/q134/asdat/g4.jpg

That's a real deep one! Just because someone is sincere, it does not mean that their intentions are in the best interests for everyone!

For instance, this might be the kind of fortune cookie that would be appropriate for Adolf Hitler. He was imaginative and he was honest. There can be no doubt that he was also very sincere in his intentions.

On the other hand, it might also apply equally well to a good person, who is perhaps below average in intelligence and who tries very hard to get things to work by using different methods. But yet, can't get things to work out for the best, because of his lack of intelligence.

And finally my favourite -

"The shortest distance between two people is a smile."

It's one of my favorites, also! :)

Clough,

"That's a real deep one! Just because someone is sincere, it does not mean that their intentions are in the best interests for everyone!

For instance, this might be the kind of fortune cookie that would be appropriate for Adolf Hitler. He was imaginative and he was honest. There can be no doubt that he was also very sincere in his intentions.

On the other hand, it might also apply equally well to a good person, who is perhaps below average in intelligence and who tries very hard to get things to work by using different methods. But yet, can't get things to work out for the best, because of his lack of intelligence."


I think you've got a point there. And I think the last paragraph is closer to the real me.

I'm going back to the fortune cookie bin and opening every one until I find one I like. ;)