My ex and I dated for 1 1/2 years and broke up 4 years ago. The breakup boils down to the fact that he kept up an emotional wall that I could not break down and I got sick of trying. I broke up with him and he was devastated. I really think he did not realize what he had until I was gone. I immediately jumped into another relationship and then another. I would see him from time to time and, according to my friends, it was obvious he still had feelings for me. In the past year or so I began to realize that I might have feelings for him too. I ended my last relationship 1 1/2 months ago and decided to examine myself and the things I want out of a relationship. I have been in therapy since that time and it's really helped.

About 2 weeks ago I contacted my ex just to say hi and catch up (we do this every few months). I just bought a house and invited him to come over an see it. Well, we ended up having a great conversation followed by amazing sex. We then continued to stay in contact over the next few weeks and hung out, went for coffee, etc. We had a great time talking, flirting, etc. I realized in this time how much we have both changed and that it may be worth considering giving this another shot down the road. We did talk about it and he said that now was not the right time (he has told me in the past that he would consider getting back together if I took the time to examine myself and what I really want) but not to close the door on anything. I told him I loved him and he said he loved me too. The conversation ended with him telling me that he loved me and asking me to not be shy and call him to hang out, talk, etc. I told him I needed some distance from this situation but for him to call me if he wanted to talk, ask me out, etc.

At this point I am not going to call him for a while, at least 1 month. I know he has feelings for me but he's scared and doesn't want to be the rebound guy, and I don't want him to be. I know I love him in the most honest and peaceful way I have ever felt. I know I'm worth more than waiting around for someone but should I just forget it completely. It hurts not being with him but I'm willing to wait and do the work to make this relationship work. I really think it could.

Please give me your thoughts, they are much appreciated.;)

Sometimes what you have patience for and wait for end up being your best rewards. Show him you are willing to wait for him and work things out and do want him. Let him know that you feel the time IS right and you have learned from everything and prove by your actions that you are there for him and not interested in finding any other relationship.

I agree that you may stand to receive a great reward for your patience. Wait it out for a month then go for it some more. But be careful because you shouldn't be in limbo for ever you know?

Thank you for the advice. I was actually in contact with my ex a couple of days ago and while we were talking about something not involving our relationship he starts saying "it's not the right time" blah blah blah. I realize that while I have feelings for him, at this point I need to move on and not talk to him for a while and only if he contacts me. I don't live by someone else's timetable, I live by my own. For now I am moving past all of this and maybe, if he ever wants to have a serious discussion about getting back together, I might be open to it. Or maybe I will have moved on!

Sounds like your relationship is wishy washy. Nothing solid is happening here. Honest communication is probably your best bet. If you can't or won't do that then time to move on and leave this guy alone.

To quote Geoff who once wrote on my post, "don't be a revolving door!'

I think he's a little worried that you broke his heart once and may very well do it again. Most of us dumpees worry about that when an ex comes back. I think because you broke his heart once before it's up to you to prove to him that you really want this. I know if my ex came back he would have to prove, prove and prove some more that he was for real.

I think if you can really show him that you do love him, and that you do know more about yourself that he could consider it. It's hard getting back into a relationship after it has ended for some reason. You know in your heart you love each other, but you also want to protect it from future pain.
Give yourself that time, if he waits for you then he is the one to be with. If not, the obviously he was not willing to wait things out.

Thank you once again for the answers. I ran into my ex at a party on Saturday and he came up to me and, without saying anything else, said "I love you" and then kissed me. After the party I went home and he asked me to call him and we talked and realized we both truly do love each other but should wait a little bit before we get serious. I think it might work out.

Wow I love seeing these post. Allot of people are I think to quick to close the door. Obviously every situation is different but based on what you said I think you guys are on the same page but a little hesitant especially him and I can understand his position. You are going to have to gain his trust all over again which means really showing him the things that were an issue before no longer are an issue. Good Luck!

Ok. Thanks again for the advice. Now I need some reassurance that I'm doing the right thing. My. Ex texted me Tuesday just to see how I was, how's work, etc. I responded and we joked a little and left it at that. Then he texted me yesterday with "Happy Halloween" which I saw as cute because I think he just wanted to get in touch with me. We texted a little and left it at that. For now I think I should let him contact me because I don't want to push anything as he is not ready. These seem like good signs though. Thoughts, please ;)

Ok, so I really want to send my ex a text today. Please tell me if this is a good idea based on the situation!! Thanks ;)