I recently got married and am having a problem that I am not sure how to handle?

My husband has very wealthy parents and (2) sisters and (1) brother with families. There are 18 people in all in the group. The sisters get together once a year and plan a family vacation that all the family is invited to and expected to go. Since I’ve known my husband they have went to Aruba, Cancun and Florida.

They just planned a vacation to Disney for the day after Christmas for 8 days and have reserved us a room. They keep asking us if we are coming and my husband said that he would have to see. He mentioned the (2) young children that live with us by his 2nd marriage and that we would have to get permission from court to take them and then he mentioned that I have my (2) children and my daughter-in-law to talk about.

His father’s response was that we would have to pay for my children. This is where my problem is…I have known my husband for 5 years and have taken care of his (2) little ones and lived in court with him to keep the children. I have worn myself out to keep his life smooth and happy. I have treated his children like mine. He also has (2) older children and I treat them the same. I am offended that his family is not considering my children the same as the family.

I went on one vacation with his family before we were married and my children did not go, but they said they could come, but we had to pay for them. It didn’t work out for them to go, but my husband said when we got married that they would be treated the same as the others. Also, this last Spring the women and girls in the family went to NY on the expense of the Mother. It is a shopping, spa & Broadway 4 day event! I asked if my daughter-in-law could go and I offered to pay her way and they said it wouldn’t work out with the rooms they had reserved. Are they being rude and inconsiderate or I’m I wrong?

You husband needs to step up and talk to his parents and explain that he expects them to accept your children as you have accepted your husbands.

I have never understood the leaving out of step-children. It seems so petty and hurtful to the kids.

I will agree, husband needs to say no, that they are his kids also, and he won't be going on that trip.

Also you have to ask permission to take the kids on a vacation? Never heard of that, you can't move out of state with them, but a vacation is normally not restricted in a custody agreement

They really should accept your children as their own flesh and blood. Ask hubby to step up the plate... its YOUR family and all the kids should be treated as "all or none."

Good luck