I'm 16 and have been dealing with severe social anxiety for about 10 years. It has turned into social phobia. I can't go anywhere by myself. I avoid going to school because I can't stand being around others. I think some of it has to do with being sexually molested by my brother for 2 years. The fact that I'm a lesbian and don't want people to find out doesn't help either. My parents keep trying to force me into social situations but I cant. Now I'm become very depressed and even suicidal. I see a psychiatrist and a therapist every week, but they don't help. I'm on the highest dose of my medication but it doesn't help either. What do I do? I'm afraid I won't ever be able to be around people. What will I do about getting a job, or moving out on my own. I need help! Any suggestions? Thank-you.

You have to "DO" something for yourself. Start by being physically active. Speed walking, cycling... throw yourself into it. You will start to feel better immediately.

I would recommend going to a 12 Step Program to learn how to be with people.

Good Luck!

Do the psychiatrist and therapist know you are feeling suicidal? If not, why not? Are you as upfront with them as you are here?

Do your meds need looking at for dosage adjustment or even for different meds to be prescribed? The same med doesn't work for all time for the same person. If the psychiatrist hasn't asked how well the meds are working, it is your responsibility to tell him/her.

For the social anxiety, there are cognitive-behaviorial techniques your therapist should be teaching you. Ask him/her about them.

You may or may not be gay. Your body is still trying to figure out who you are sexually, emotionally, even physically. There's nothing wrong with being gay so don't talk yourself into a corner over that.

My strong suggestion is that you have honest conversations with your psychiatrist and therapist. Your parents are probably paying good money for their services. Make those professionals earn it! And be a cooperative patient when a new plan is put into place.

Yes, they know I'm suicidal. I've been prescribed 4 different drugs for social anxiety. Two for depression. None of them have worked. My therapist has taught me cognitive-behavioral techniques and they don't work. I'm not worried what people will think of me if I'm gay. I've met enough people who hate me for it. I'm worried what my dad will do. He is very protective, and if someone messes with me, it won't be good. I do what my psychiatrist and therapist tell me but my phobia is so big that I'm afraid to even step out of the house for fear that the neighbors will try and talk to me.

Are you cooperating? Cognitive-behaviorial techniques work well. Which ones have you been taught? Please tell me about two of them and why they haven't worked for you.

Do you take the meds at the right time and at the right dose?

Have you been put on watch for the suicide ideation?

I am curious what the drugs are, if you don't mind. How long have you taken them before deciding that they don't work? Many drugs take 6 weeks or more to work.

You say your Dad is very protective? What did he do about your brother who was abusing you?

No I have not been put on watch for suicide ideation. I was taught the use of inner speak, which didn't work. Probably cause I've been doing that since I was 10. It just never worked. I have also been taught the relaxation response. That doesn't work because it is almost impossible for me to relax around others. I'm always on my guard around others. My father and his side of the family deal with the same thing. It didn't work for them either. Unfortunately, all of them except my daddy have turned to alcohol abuse. My daddy is just depressed like me.

So you have given every technique a very fair chance to work by really making each one your own but nothing has worked.

If you are suicidal, why are you roaming free?

What about the cognitive-behavioral thingies that didn't work? Please describe them.

I have been on Zanex, and I was on it for six months. I've taken venlafaxine for 5 months. Paroxetine for 3 months. The one I'm on now is sertraline, which I've taken for 6 months. My dad well, he called the cops and my brother was arrested. He wanted to beat the crap out of him but I didn't want him going to jail. It's weird how protective he is considering he's never touched a person in his life. My oldest brother is also very protective. He punched my brother and would have done more but the cops showed up. My brother has now been arrested four times.

What about the cognitive-behaviorial stuff that didn't work?

Cause I never leave the house. My parents don't work. They always keep an eye on me. I don't go to school because I can't stand it.

No the cognitive-behavioral stuff didn't work.

Xanex, Effexor, Paxil and Zoloft are only a few drugs.

Guess what, one of the side effects of Xanex, Paxil and Zoloft are suicidal ideations. You may be experiencing side-effects from the meds, rather than having these thoughts on your own.

These are only a few medications that help with depression. Sometimes finding the right medication is like finding a needle in a haystack.

The suicidal thoughts came way before I told my parents about everything.

However, the medications, ESPECIALLY ZOLOFT, can magnify suicidal tendencies.

Oh well. I guess that runs in my family also. My father when he was around his early twenties was suicidal. My brother was suicidal about 5 years ago. He took the same meds as me and got better.

Sweetie, I know all about depression, personal experiences as well as my education. I specialize in mental health.

Hun, what works for your brother may or may not work for you. In mental health we cannot take a blood test and see exactly what neurotransmitter is working and which one is not. It is all guess work and trial and error.

Well thank you for all of your help. I must go. My dad just got home and he needs to talk to me. Bye.

I'm still waiting to hear what the cognitive-behavioral techniques were that didn't work, and why didn't they.

I am getting a hunch here. One of our instructors told us that, as a therapist you will usually get a hunch about a client as he/she talks and describes what is right and wrong in his/her life. Listen to that hunch. It will tell you a lot about that client and how he/she relates to others.

My hunch is this: You are pushing us off. You answer our questions as briefly and with as little detail as possible. In fact, you have avoided answering some of them. This is starting to tell me that you do the same with the real people in your life, especially the two helpers. Do you push them off too and give what answers you think will keep them from digging too deeply? (A case in point is your last post, "Well thank you for all of your help. I must go. My dad just got home and he needs to talk to me. Bye.")

In other words, we give all the effort. You cherry-pick and get involved only in what you feel like doing for as long as you feel like doing it.

I told u. I can't stand people. I don't trust anyone. Too many people have let me down in my life. I'm afraid to let others in. Asking me to trust someone is like asking me to go kill a hundred people. I can't do it. So I'm sorry if I am being standoffish but that is who I am. Bad experiences have taught me I can't trust anyone. Y should I, they all let you down in the end.

Then why have you posted here if you have no intention of trusting us to give you good advice and to encourage you to find a better way to do things? There are several excellent resources here on this site.

Not everyone lets you down. Maybe you have had too high of expectations of people. Maybe you expect too much and that is why you feel let down when they don't achieve what you expect.

Or maybe you think you let people down. Others have too-high expectations of you and you just can't deliver. You don't want to disappoint anyone.

I don't care if I disappoint people. My mom has told me I'm a disappointment multiple times. The only expectations I have of people are to be decent human beings. Not many of them where I live. They people here all seem to be alcoholics, sexual abusers, and physical abuse. I live in Spokane, WA. I used to live in Vista, Ca. The people there were so much better, nicer. So I just stopped trusting the people I meet. I came on here because I figure if I can't see you then maybe I can trust you. It may not make sense to you but it does to me.

So you have been shamed multiple times, been told you're a bad and unworthy person. You don't expect decency from anyone else because you don't believe it's within yourself.

In fact, you've put up that wall now, the "I-don't-care wall". As long as you don't care, you won't get hurt or be disappointed.

Yes

Does your therapist know this? Has he/she figured it out yet, or have you been too cagey?

Ok, here's the $64,000 question for you. You have you as a patient. You know everything about you. How would you advise your patient? Tell me two things you would recommend.

I would recommend getting a better shrink. The other I would recommend is to just avoid situations because I don't see them ever getting better.

Thank you for answering my question. Your answer is perfect!

So get a better shrink, one who is invested in your care and good health.

You can't "avoid situations." Amazingly, they WILL get better.

What situations are the most troublesome for you?

All of them. I can't even be around 1 person without passing out. Last time I passed out I was in Wood shop class working with a saw. Which was really dangerous. I had to have a partner and I freaked out. I had to go home cause I had hurt myself and they decided it was to dangerous for me to stay there. Hence why I don't go to school anymore. I'm home schooled.