cocrowbo
Oct 14, 2007, 02:15 AM
I see myself in the posts I'm reading here, but I also need to get this out and off my chest.
I have known a man for 25 years, since college. We were lovers then. After he graduated, we saw each other sporadically, because of the 350 miles and a college students lack of money, and on my part, other relationships. I have never stopped thinking about him though, and would rather have had a serious relationship with him if he'd appeared to want it. Over the years, he finally got married (no I wasn't invited to the wedding), and now has 2 girls. We have seen each other maybe five times over the last 15 years, and have been intimate only on two occasions, probably only because of lack of opportunity. He even had an unlisted phone number for awhile, which I never had, and so could not contact him confidentially. Now years later, with internet, and his maturing responsibilities, I found a phone number, and after waiting two years before getting up the nerve, I finally called. It resulted in one night (opportunity) in another town. This relationship is different from the ones I see posted because we're not "seeing" each other all the time (still the 350 miles). He has not said he loves me, yet on these two intimate occasions he seemed hesitant in principle only to progress from "seeing on old friend" to intimacy. Yes, he is cheating on his wife, as I am on a longtime boyfriend. But our relationship goes back so long, and for me, has always involved intense feelings. I do believe him when he says he has not stepped out in his marriage except for these two times with me, and I also believe he would continue seeing me if he can. The one friend I have who remembers my infactuation with this man from years ago has not even answered my email, and probably thinks I'm loco. But I am torn up over him. He has told me his wife was unfaithful early in their marriage, but at the time he already had one girl, and didn't want to chance losing her. Please tell me what I should ask this man. I don't even know myself if I am in love with him, but I have fallen hard. I don't think I have the stamina to be the "other woman" for another 20 years, yet right now can't get over him. I think my present relationship (of 15 years also) is one which will not bring happiness to me or him, we just are continuing now because it's "better than nothing" it seems. Thanks all for your time in answering me, it helps knowing I'm not alone.
I have known a man for 25 years, since college. We were lovers then. After he graduated, we saw each other sporadically, because of the 350 miles and a college students lack of money, and on my part, other relationships. I have never stopped thinking about him though, and would rather have had a serious relationship with him if he'd appeared to want it. Over the years, he finally got married (no I wasn't invited to the wedding), and now has 2 girls. We have seen each other maybe five times over the last 15 years, and have been intimate only on two occasions, probably only because of lack of opportunity. He even had an unlisted phone number for awhile, which I never had, and so could not contact him confidentially. Now years later, with internet, and his maturing responsibilities, I found a phone number, and after waiting two years before getting up the nerve, I finally called. It resulted in one night (opportunity) in another town. This relationship is different from the ones I see posted because we're not "seeing" each other all the time (still the 350 miles). He has not said he loves me, yet on these two intimate occasions he seemed hesitant in principle only to progress from "seeing on old friend" to intimacy. Yes, he is cheating on his wife, as I am on a longtime boyfriend. But our relationship goes back so long, and for me, has always involved intense feelings. I do believe him when he says he has not stepped out in his marriage except for these two times with me, and I also believe he would continue seeing me if he can. The one friend I have who remembers my infactuation with this man from years ago has not even answered my email, and probably thinks I'm loco. But I am torn up over him. He has told me his wife was unfaithful early in their marriage, but at the time he already had one girl, and didn't want to chance losing her. Please tell me what I should ask this man. I don't even know myself if I am in love with him, but I have fallen hard. I don't think I have the stamina to be the "other woman" for another 20 years, yet right now can't get over him. I think my present relationship (of 15 years also) is one which will not bring happiness to me or him, we just are continuing now because it's "better than nothing" it seems. Thanks all for your time in answering me, it helps knowing I'm not alone.