Well I'm 16... my birthday is on halloween... ever since 2 years ago I've been in trouble and I met a girl that I love with all my heart and I would do anything for her I've been together for a year and 4 months and all my family wants me to do is live with my mom because they want nothing to do with me and that would make it so hard to be with my girl friend my family is always calling me names or calling me fat I weigh 160 and I'm almost 17 all they say to me is hurting me really bad I really don't want to live here anymore but I don't want to leave my girl friend it tears my heart out to see her upset but its so hard to sit here and get put down everyday I'm in a lot of talking sessions with people my mom wants me to live with her but I hate it at her house cause I hate the people I go to school with and I smoke so my parents also hate me for that I have a step mom my 2 sisters hate me and my sisters boy friend is a dumb who hates me also they do little things for me and say it was a huge thing like if my car is out of gas cause I go to school and work so I try to do the best I can and I don't do anything else I was a huge drugie but I quit I do the best I can in school but my father still isn't proud of me and all I want to do is make it better for me here and nothing I do makes them happy I don't know what to do anymore I just need help or advice to help me anyone have any suggestions?

Do you like yourself?

Yeah I mean there's nothing wrong I think I'm just really upset with my life right now its just a big wreck

Please realize that by my asking you questions, I'm just trying to sort out what is going on with you, so that I, or others might be able to help you better. Okay? So, do you mind if I ask you some additional questions? It sounds like you have a lot going on.

There are quite a few people on this site who are really excellent at helping people and also want to help people to sort out what is happening in their lives so that the person who is troubled can have a happier life.

By "talking sessions" with people, do you mean that you are in counselling?

Yeah a lot of it too

yeah alot of it too

I'm not quite sure what you mean by the above statement.

I just want to also let you know that others who really care about people are aware of your post.

ever since 2 years ago ive been in trouble

Let me start with this --

What do you mean by being "in trouble"? Do you mean with how your family members think of you and how they treat you? Or do you mean something else, like with school or with the police?

Hi dear,
At 17, you've been a druggie? You are overweight?. and apparently you've developed a very fast style of communication. I had a little trouble following you because of your hurried texting.

You use the word 'hate' a lot.. Where did your self-respect go, and when did it take such a turn. Could it be that you did not like the idea of your biological parents breaking up and now you have a problem with your father's new life? Is that maybe why you've given up on your life, except for your girlfriend?

At your age, with so much confusion and helplessness, you really need to talk to someone near you on a regular basis to get yourself acquainted with who you are and what you want in life. It is going to take a while for you and it will be a lot of work, but if you start now, you'll not regret it.

Talk to your parents and tell them that your present state and attitude is not working for you and that you need professional help to straighten out your life. They have a responsibility to help you, so don't hesitate.

It's great that your girlfriend is supportive and caring, but you need more than just that. And believe me, if she is for real, she will understand that you need to work with yourself. She will probably help you and wait for you, if not, then she does not understand the severity of your issue.

School and work will also be better once you've started liking yourself. And, that, young man, is the first thing you should start working on. You must see yourself as NO LOSER, just a confused individual who needs a bit of assistance in getting back on a better track of life.

See what groups, counselors, and other professionals are in your area and make a plan for yourself.

I hope that you get the help you deserve, you have a right to be a happy person physically and emotionally, and don't let anyone tell you different.

Keep us posted. We'll help all we can here, but I believe that you should also seek help from a professional you can trust.

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Welll the past 2 years of my life I have realized a lot of things are wrong I'm not over weight I'm really skinny for my age actually it just bothers me that they say that I've been in the mental hospital because of them for a week I flipped out cause they were calling my girl friend names like a whore and and she doesn't do anything to them my dads parents fought a lot and my real mom and dad split when I was 9 and my dad got re married and so did my mom I've always had a grudge against both of my parents so reason I keep personal my dad is over weight and my sisters boy friend is always saying I will turn out like him and so does my sister and Wondergirl the past 2 years I've been involved with drugs and probabtion because I acted out in school as the class clown or a fighter I've cleaned up and I have a lot of self respect now but I just don't like anything about my family or what they do I hate them and I don't want to be apart of my family all they do is tell me to live with my mom or they want to send me to a foster home I'm a really good kid at least that's what my mom says and my girl friends mom I do play spots like football and I play gutair bass and drums I don't know why my family hates me so much I mean I do nothing to them unless they start in with me if they call me something I have to fight back its just my reaction I don't trust anyone it's a personal problem I have and I just don't like my family those are my problems if you guys want to help me out more I would total be happy to talk with you guys

Are you currently taking any medications? If so, what medications, please?

If you play guitar, bass and drums, I can definitely identify with you there. I am also a musician.

Yep seroquel concerta and seterline

Nice I love what I do I play in a band

yep seroquel concerta and seterline

What are you taking these for?

Also, I do want to thank you for your short responses. It is much easier for people to get a handle on your situation if we just take things one at a time or in bits and pieces, rather than the many facets of your situation and troubles that you are having all at once.

Well one is for depression another is for adhd and the seraquel is for bi polar

nice i love what i do i play in a band

What kind of places does the band play at? Also, do these other musicians that you play with help you to try and figure out what to do about the problems that you are having?

Anything we can mostly just shows we get invited to and my band members are all my best friends and they do everything they can for me I stay at our lead gutiarest house whenever me and my family get into huge fights so yeah they help me a bunch

Is there some way you can become a peacemaker? If someone tries to pick a fight, don't go with it. Walk away or get busy doing something useful. If you feel like ragging on someone, leave the room or do something constructive.

Is there some way you can become a peacemaker? If someone tries to pick a fight, don't go with it. Walk away or get busy doing something useful. If you feel like ragging on someone, leave the room or do something constructive.


I try to just walk away sometimes it works sometimes they just come and bug me when I practice my drums or something or do something useful

How old are your other siblings?

OK, slow down. Please try to put a period in there once in a while, so that I can take a text breath.

You've been in a mental hospital because you flipped out over someone calling your girlfriend names?. I don't think so. There must have been another reason. No matter what you went in for, you are no longer there, so that's a plus. Apparently you had an issue that you could not handle, we all have our moments. In today's society, nervous breakdowns are more common than you might think, and it's nice to know that help is available and successful.

Your parents did not wind up being what you expected, but it won't do you any good to keep a grudge that long, it will stop you from progressing. What you should do is assess their relationship, accept it, and understand that no matter how dumb people act, there is always a deeper reason. The very same thing is happening to you, you act and others react - they don't like how you act, and you don't like how they react - and this will continue to be a vicious circle if you don't put a stop to it.

The people that annoy you are doing it because they know they can flip you out. Wouldn't it be better if you just stopped playing into their hands? Once you stop being a victim to them, they will have to look for someone else to pursue.

Does your job pay enough so that you can get your own place once your are 18? If it does - why not put up with your mother at her place for a little while and then go live your own life. It's not like you will be there forever.

We all have to do things we don't really like to achieve a better goal. So try and look at all the options and make a plan. A few months will not matter once you have a goal and work toward it in a calm manner. Seriously, what would be worse, your mom's or a foster home? Life is all about changes and believe me, even those changes we are forced into wind up being some of the best changes that ever happened. Sometimes just that little push winds up being the best move one makes.

Your mom thinks you're a good kid, so that's a start. Give her a chance to help you along on your way to adulthood. She might surprise you.


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How old are your other siblings? 19 and 11

Do you ever forget to take your medications? Or maybe purposely not take some or any of them? It is important for people who are trying to help you to know this.

OK, slow down. Please try to put a period in there once in a while, so that I can take a text breath.

You've been in a mental hospital because you flipped out over someone calling your girlfriend names?... I don't think so. There must have been another reason. No matter what you went in for, you are no longer there, so that's a plus. Apparently you had an issue that you could not handle, we all have our moments. In today's society, nervous breakdowns are more common than you might think, and it's nice to know that help is available and successful.

Your parents did not wind up being what you expected, but it won't do you any good to keep a grudge that long, it will stop you from progressing. What you should do is assess their relationship, accept it, and understand that no matter how dumb people act, there is always a deeper reason. The very same thing is happening to you, you act and others react - they don't like how you act, and you don't like how they react - and this will continue to be a vicious circle if you don't put a stop to it.

The people that annoy you are doing it because they know they can flip you out. Wouldn't it be better if you just stopped playing into their hands? Once you stop being a victim to them, they will have to look for someone else to pursue.

Does your job pay enough so that you can get your own place once your are 18? If it does - why not put up with your mother at her place for a little while and then go live your own life. It's not like you will be there forever.

We all have to do things we don't really like to achieve a better goal. So try and look at all the options and make a plan. A few months will not matter once you have a goal and work toward it in a calm manner. Seriously, what would be worse, your mom's or a foster home? Life is all about changes and believe me, even those changes we are forced into wind up being some of the best changes that ever happened. Sometimes just that little push winds up being the best move one makes.

Your mom thinks you're a good kid, so that's a start. Give her a chance to help you along on your way to adulthood. She might surprise you.


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</IMG> welllllll... I ended up in the hospital because they know if they call my girl friend a name I get pist very fast and they use that to make me pist off. I become very very very very angery and what happened was I took one of my gutiars and smashed it and my father pushed me and I pushed back he punched me and I punched back and it ended up being a phone call to the cops so they put me in cuffs and sent me to the hospital and my job pays pretty good 600 a week and I got enough saved up so when me and my girl friend turn 18... we can move away like my father wants me to so I'm pretty much set I was going to propose to her in a week or so because her birthday is on the 22nd and I'm taking her out to dinner... so yeah pretty much I got to last a year

Do you ever forget to take your medications? Or maybe purposely not take some or any of them? It is important for people who are trying to help you to know this.

Nope never

I really do like the statement by Chery below:


The people that annoy you are doing it because they know they can flip you out. Wouldn't it be better if you just stopped playing into their hands? Once you stop being a victim to them, they will have to look for someone else to pursue.

What do you think about it?

I really do like the statement by Chery below:



What do you think about it?

I've tried it don't work at all

How much did you try and how long did you try? It could take awhile before they would get it through their heads that what they do or say is not going to "trip your trigger."

Well for about a month I stopped talking to my sisters and they know how to get me mad really fast so I tried what I could

OK, how about talking to your mom and working out something where you can wait out that year. It's not a lifetime, and will probably do you good to get away from the place that makes you aggressive right now.

How about a course in aggression management? As I said, the other individuals will probably not stop playing with your emotions as far as your girlfriend is concerned. They know that is how to get you flipped. Get out of that house and make plans. Nothing is going to happen over night, except that fact that you might get into another fight, which will not do you any good.

Talk to your girlfriend about your options and see what she thinks. If she loves you, she will support you in what is best.

Write down some scenario of what could happen if you stayed where you are, or if you moved to your mom's. Take a good look at what would calm you and help you plan a better future.

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Thanks for the help you guys ill try it all out and see if it helps thanks again

You are more than welcome for the help! I am glad that you have calmed down some. It was evident from your first posts here that you were really upset at the time you wrote them.

I would really like to talk with you more about your music, what it does for you and others and how it is progressing. But, that can be at a later time. I need to go, now. But, I look forward to discussing things with you in the future!

Please keep us posted as to what is going on with you! Thanks!

:)

Hey um its normal to feel like your family hates u. Trust me I get the same feeling from my family like seriously 24/7. But if I were u I would try to get away as much as possible. It will cause a lot less drama in your life if u just stay away. Good luck w/ your situation!