So the other day my girlfriend told me she needed her space. We got together when she was 18 and I was 23. Now, at the time, I had already gone through a couple of serious relationships, as well as that whole peroid of my life where I went out and had fun while I was single. Since my girlfriend is now 22, she is wondering what she is missing. Our relationship is very serious right now. We have a house, a dog, two cats, and it's basically like we are married, which I love. But she says she just isn't sure if that's what she wants because she has never experienced beinbg on her own as an adult. For financial reasons, we have decided to break up, but I would still live in the hous. Separate rooms, no sex, and no checking up on each other, just llike we're single, which I guess we are. I am having a really tough time with this whole situation. Now I do understand her feelings, but my life right now is not too good and this situation could not come at a worse time for me. I am in a lot of credit trouble, I don't really have a lot of friends except for the people I work with (but me and her work at the same place so it's hard), and I just don't want to lose her forever. I know I am not asking for a simple answer to a question here, but I just need some people to tell me what to do. If anyone out there went through the same situation, what did you do to survive? Did you do anything to bring her or him back to you. Did the situation turn out good or bad. Or if anyone is currently going through a similar situation, what are you doing to remain stable. Please someone help me and talk to me. I love this woman more than my own life and I just can't seem to live without her. Please help me. Thank you all.

I would also like to hear from any females out there who went through a similar experience, but YOU were the one asking for space. In all honesty, were you being truthful, or was it just an easier way to let him down. Also, did you eventually relize what you lost and ask for him back. Thanks again!

So the other day my girlfriend told me she needed her space. We got together when she was 18 and I was 23. Now, at the time, I had already gone through a couple of serious relationships, as well as that whole peroid of my life where I went out and had fun while I was single. Since my girlfriend is now 22, she is wondering what she is missing. Our relationship is very serious right now. We have a house, a dog, two cats, and it's basically like we are married, which I love. But she says she just isn't sure if that's what she wants because she has never experienced beinbg on her own as an adult. For financial reasons, we have decided to break up, but I would still live in the hous. Seperate rooms, no sex, and no checking up on each other, just llike we're single, which I guess we are. I am having a really tough time with this whole situation. Now I do understand her feelings, but my life right now is not too good and this situation could not come at a worse time for me. I am in a lot of credit trouble, I don't really have a lot of friends except for the people I work with (but me and her work at the same place so it's hard), and I just don't want to lose her forever. I know I am not asking for a simple answer to a question here, but I just need some people to tell me what to do. If anyone out there went through the same situation, wht did you do to survive? Did you do anything to bring her or him back to you. Did the situation turn out good or bad. Or if anyone is currently going through a similar situation, what are you doing to remain stable. Please someone help me and talk to me. I love this woman more than my own life and I just can't seem to live without her. Please help me. Thank you all.

WOW, does this sound familiar to me or what! Im going through that same thing right now man, I feel for you. My EX just turned 21 last week and is going through that whole "I need to see what life is like on my own" crap (Im 24). The best thing I can tell you is just let her go and do her thing. If you try and "win her back" now, you will just push her away more. Let her see what life is REALLY like without you, and DO NOT LET HER PLAY GAMES WITH YOU! Im SURE she will call and tell you "i miss you" and all that good stuff, but just be nice to her and don't pour your heart out. Play it cool and just tell her you will give her "space" but don't expect you to wait for her. My EX of 2 months not (with her for 5 years) didn't call me for a few weeks, but now she is sending me messages like "Ive been thinking about you alot lately". Don't let that stuff fool you though, let her do her thing and you do your own thing too. I have just now started picking up the pieces after 2 months and I still miss her, but that does no good. I would say go to the gym, that has been a GREAT stress relief for me. Its hard man, I feel for you, but you will be OK in time.

P.S. I would try and move out if you can, not because you don't love her, but that is just going to make you BOTH crazy! You need to BACK OFF HER NOW! If she loves you, she will come back. Who knows man, you might not even want her back if she does. Do things for you and get YOUR life on track. Get yourself out of debt and show her you are an adult that can take care of yourself. Im not trying to be mean, but you really do need a slap, I needed one to get my butt in gear. The thing I told my EX was "look, Im not giving up on you, I am just going to give US BOTH what we need right now (space)". You need to get away from this girl for a while or she will run you straight into the ground.

Hi mattyd, I hope I will not be 'stepping on anyone's toes' here, so I will apologize beforehand..
This is a questionnaire for single as well as married men..

Questions of why women 'need space':

1. Is the relationship getting so old that you take it for
granted?
2. Do you help with the dishes, laundry or washing up?
3. Do you expect her to do all the cooking, cleaning,
etc?
4. Do you ask her how her day was and really listen?
Or when she wants to talk are you too busy, but expect
her to listen if you have a gripe about work, money,
etc.
5. Do you take the dogs out together or let her do it,
and who feeds the animals?
6. After having a busy day yourself, do you expect to
'relax' and get served?
7. When you are a little sick, do you expect her to be
Florence Nightingale?
8. When she is sick, do you just make yourself a meal
or do you also ask her if she'd like something to eat, and
just take off to see your friends because you feel
uncomfortable being around her when she's not feeling
well?
9. Do you still surprise her with little gifts and/or
flowers and compliments now and then, or take her for
granted?
10. Do you expect her to be ready in bed even though
she's had a hard day also and there was no caressing or
foreplay beforehand?
11. Do you gripe more than compliment, or avoid those
little arguments and leave the house when it's too
much for you, and you just are too tired to 'put up with
it'?
12. Do you notice when she changes her looks or
attitude without being asked?
13. Even though you live together, do you still take her
out or no longer feel the need to try hard to keep her
because you already have her?
14. Is there still humor in your relationship, or did you
stop joking and laughing, or watching the things she
likes on TV or the Movies?
15. Did you stop saying "I love you" because you assume she
knows this already?
16. After explaining something to her and she asks 'why' is your
reply automatically "you just don't understand"?

I could go on but I think you get my meaning and I'd be running off this page..

If most of the answers to the above questions are yes, then you now know why we women ask for 'space' now and then to think about whether you are worth the sacrifice she's gone through and still values your company. In any relationship, love and respect must be worked at and earned by both, and never taken for granted! The good must outnumber the not-so-good. We all need something to look forward to and appreciate. As a friend of mine here on the forum says, keep up the mystery. Predictability is a killer.

So, now you have a woman's point of view and I hope I helped a little. You are welcome to 'rate this post' by either approving or disapproving. Thanks and Good Luck! Please keep us posted, as this might turn out pretty interesting.

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I need space could mean:
1. I really do need space
2. I want to see other people but I don't want to say it like that
3. I don't want to hurt your feelings
4. I want to be free right now but keep you within arms reach so if I made a mistake about this, I can run back to you.

We say we need space for many reason's but the main reason why we say we need space is basically because we don't want to hurt your feeling's.
Chery went through a list of reason's why she may want space but the result is that, she just want's space for right now, and although it may hurt you, you need to give her what she want's.
If you continue to hang around and prolong the situation even after she has told you that she want's out, she is going to start resenting you, and you are going to end up way more hurt in the end if you do not listen to what she is telling you.
Don't try and change her mind, don't try and talk her out of it, just get out and get out now.
If you start your healing process right now, meet new ladies, get out for a night on the town, start dating, DO NOT CALL HER, DO NOT TRY AND CONTACT HER, DO NOT BOTHER HER, JUST GIVE HER THE SPACE THAT SHE IS ASKING FOR, trust in me, she will contact you. For right now, give her what she want's. If you do not back off her, you will end up hurting waaaay more than you are now.
Good Luck.

Letmeno is right, I gave the reasons, and letmeno gave you the consequences of those reasons. Sorry to say it, but it's also true that most of the time, after that, it's too late. Best wishes.

It is a rough patch that you're going through right now, but just think of how harder it would be if no one spoke up and said anything. If she just went through the motions and pretended everything was all right and you were just hopping along one day it could have exploded into something really ugly, like you finding her with someone else or worse, you waking up and she's gone. Whether she is confused and unsure or she is truly not happy with the relationship and wants a way out, as my favorite cartoon Snagglepuss would say, its time to "exit stage left". It's unfortunate that you are in the financial bind that you are in, however, I would suggest that you find another room mate and move out, ask her to move out or beg, steal or borrow money for another place, it's worth your sanity and most of all your integrity. Put aside the emotion involved, it won't allow you to do what should be done. Don't stop with changing the living arrangement, get a new job asap. Even if it means holding down two part time jobs to equal the pay of this one, whatever it takes. Don't call, write or even look her way or she may tell you she's being smuthered. There is a five year difference between you two and typically that's not a big deal, UNLESS, you're dealing with a girl who was just beginning to experience adulthood (like she was at 18) and has now reached a point where she wants to go it alone for a while. To be really honest, most times this happens, the girl will go out on her own, experience life, grow and not be the same girl, so she may not come back because she really is someone else now. Don't sit around and wait, grit your teeth and move on. It's best for you both. Looking in that rearview mirror won't help you go forward.

Hi,
My simple answer will be short.
She probably does mean she needs some time.
Give her time. Don't call her, Don't email her.
If she decides she wants to contact you, she will. Meantime, get out and meet new people. It will help get your mind off things. Things do take time.
It took me 2 yrs to get over a girl I was really in love with, at that time was 20 yrs old. I finally got over her, by meeting new people, and going out with others.

Fredg and momincali are right, again. I could not rate them - 'have to spread it around' so just want to let them know I agree.
Good Luck to you, there are others out here who will grow with you and give you what you need in time. Don't let your financial problems keep you there too long, it'll only add to your stress - of which you have enough on your plate right now. All wounds need time to heal. Wishing you all the best, Chery

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.

"If you continue to hang around and prolong the situation even after she has told you that she want's out, she is going to start resenting you"

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! It's so true, yet so hard. It's not logical to men this way, but she somewhere a lon gthe way lost her feelings for you.

You probably became way to soft and whimmpy (yes). Wooried about not hurting her feelings.

PLUS - at her age until about 25 she will want to go through her wild-girl stage.

I'd move out and quit the contact. She's only going to hurt you. Show her your moving on - it's the only chance you have to get her back.

People want what they can't have.

She has you. You're too available to her. You create no mystery to her.

Just being there and being ga good guy doesn't cut for a woman that age.

She needs excitement. She needs her toes to curl when she thinks of you.

I loved that so many people responded to me, I thank you all. To follow up on some things said though: I know I shouldn't contact her and all that but there is one problem with that: we work together. Not in like a big retail place, we are working for a smaller company and we are both in management. Because of that, we HAVE to be in close contact with each other, thus eliminating the chance of "no contact". Plus, as you all know, we NEED to live together for financial reasons. The mortgage is over $800 a month, plus utilities, cable, maitenance, etc... so we're shelling out abour $1500 a month for the house, something neither one of us could afford alone, let alone me finding an apartment, so this situation also creates some havoc. I try to go out and do other things, but my resources are limited I guess you could say. All I really have is the bunch of guys I play hockey with every Sunday, but that's it. Although most of the time she goes out and spends time with her mother or friends, so after work until about 11PM we are away from each other. Plus, even though we are in contact with each other at work, we are rarley in the same store as each other since we both travel around to all the stores in our area. So we really only SEE each other from 11 to about Midnight every night, sometimes more but not usually. We do like to spend time together during that hour, and she seems a LOT happier already. This however scares me. Is she going to realize that she's happier with me not being her "boyfriend"? I think this at night. Hell, I thing of a lot of things at night. Unfortunately my mind wanders while I lie in bed at night and I don't fall asleep till about 4 or 4:30 for the past couple of weeks... been going on 3 or 4 hours sleep every day. Anyway, sorry for my rambling, just had to make everyone aware of the situation. I again thank all of you for responding, and I look forward to reading your next remarks. Keep 'em coming. You guys are great! PS I typed this really quick so I'm sorry for the spelling errors if there are any :cool:

Dear Matt - There are some women who when under stressful conditions at work and then at home - tend to want to give up. Maybe she felt you expected more than she was willing to give at home. Now that that stress is gone, she might intend meaninful friendship and I'm sure she's not out on the lookout for another man who will give her more stress. She's probably more comfortable with you and therefore more open and happy with you. If you can accept that for a beginning, it could wind up more later, but as she says right now, she needs the space, to collect herself and concentrate on her career. Maybe you both have a different 'picture' of what your lives 'should' be like right now, but pictures can be re-painted and thought over. If you still want to be part of this picture, try a few things around the house instead of lying awake in bed thinking... do something constructive, even if it's dusting or watering the plants - just a thought. You could also ask her if she needs some help - it might surprise you with her reaction. At any rate, isn't it better to hear her laugh instead of a door slamming shut? If she's the one you want, truly want, help her through this stressful period, it will release your stess also.
Good Luck, and keep us posted.
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I think you need top learn to change the way you behave towards her. I am sure you had the feeling that you would do anything for her - always be there for her. Do too much. Pedestal - you had her on a pedestal AND women HATE that - too much pressure - You need the attitude that you are the prize!! You are the prize!! Women WANT to think they are dating and living with someone above THEM - I am sure you did not create this.

You NEED other things in your life. She isn't your life. Women are only part of your life - you feel this way because you do NOT have enough of a balanced life.

Even if your living with her - shut her out some. Go in your bedroom and close the door. Work late. JOIN A HEALTH CLUB. Pretned your moving on. Spend time with your parents. You need friends AND you ALWAYS should have been going gout with them, period, end of story... I am SURE you always HAD to and insisted on doing everything with her - YUCK! Woman AND men need time and space away from each other.

People WANT what they can't have. I KNOW you gave everythin gto her and she is TURNED off by it. AGAIN - I think you don't understand challenge and mystery.

No one wants a love sick puppy and she feels in. It's repulsive to her.

By having other things in life she WILL love you for it - yet everyday she sees this love sick puppy, wussy, whimpy - that's what she sees.

Women want a confident man!! I am sure you'r boring to her. "Girls want to have fun" - not a bore. Again - you don't curl her toes anymore.

Be more mysterious - DON'T tell what your doing - you're a busy guy.

Ithink the HUGE CRUX of the matter is YOU completely surrendered to her. No ONE wants that. She needs the feeling that other women ARE attracted to you - that there IS a chnace you will lleave - that YOU are a wanted commodity.

By completely surrendering... she LOSES all the feelings for you. You NEED ti understand that women DO NOT use logic when picking men - they go by HOW you make them feel. YOU DON'T do this by being ga love sick puppy. You don't do this by just being there.

Go to www.askmen.com and READ every article on dating. You may get some insite to what women and your gal are thinking AND WHY YOU turned her off.

Wildcat, got to disagree with you on this one. They live together and make payments on the house, plus work and travel together, so they have to get along. Even if it's just on a friendship basis now. He does not have to prove anything, she just was overwhelmed and has her plate too full. Any woman would want a 'time-out' so to speak in this type of situation. She did not mention forever, as she knows she cannot afford the payments all by herself either. Sometimes we just bite off more than can be chewed and I think this is the case, so they both have to figure a decent and respectable way to deal with it. If things get too bad, I'm sure they'll either sell the house and go separate ways, but that's not what she's talking about right now either. I think they both will make the right choice when the time comes. Again, not all couples are the same and not all women want the same as what you stated and he does not sound like a wuss to me. C.U. on another thread, you WILD ONE!

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He comes across to me as a total Wuss to me.

I can just piture it. The not being able to sleep etc.

What you say from her side is so true.

The "wuss" thing is true of most guys or even women after they have there heart ripped out. I am still a "wuss" today, but I am getting better about it. All healing takes time, one of my buddies broke up with his girl about a year ago and she is now emailing him but he just deletes them without reading them. I don't really get that though, I would never want to just blow someone off like that. Join a gym, that has been a HUGE help for me bro. Don't worry, it does get better after a while. I found that calling and stuff just makes me more upset. When she doesn't pick up or call back I just get mad, so there is no real point in it. If she wants to talk, you will know. Best of luck to you.

The "wuss" thing is true of most guys or even women after they have there heart ripped out. I am still a "wuss" today, but I am getting better about it. All healing takes time, one of my buddies broke up with his girl about a year ago and she is now emailing him but he just deletes them without reading them. I dont really get that though, I would never want to just blow someone off like that. Join a gym, that has been a HUGE help for me bro. Dont worry, it does get better after a while. I found that calling and stuff just makes me more upset. When she doesnt pick up or call back I just get mad, so there is no real point in it. If she wants to talk, you will know. Best of luck to you. Jeff, it's kind of hard to avoid each other when working in the same place and paying on a house together - so there is no need to think about the emailing or calling. But your advice about exercise is not bad. Happy Halloween to All! - It's one of my favorite holidays...

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So the other day my girlfriend told me she needed her space. We got together when she was 18 and I was 23. Now, at the time, I had already gone through a couple of serious relationships, as well as that whole peroid of my life where I went out and had fun while I was single. Since my girlfriend is now 22, she is wondering what she is missing. Our relationship is very serious right now. We have a house, a dog, two cats, and it's basically like we are married, which I love. But she says she just isn't sure if that's what she wants because she has never experienced beinbg on her own as an adult. For financial reasons, we have decided to break up, but I would still live in the hous. Seperate rooms, no sex, and no checking up on each other, just llike we're single, which I guess we are. I am having a really tough time with this whole situation. Now I do understand her feelings, but my life right now is not too good and this situation could not come at a worse time for me. I am in a lot of credit trouble, I don't really have a lot of friends except for the people I work with (but me and her work at the same place so it's hard), and I just don't want to lose her forever. I know I am not asking for a simple answer to a question here, but I just need some people to tell me what to do. If anyone out there went through the same situation, wht did you do to survive? Did you do anything to bring her or him back to you. Did the situation turn out good or bad. Or if anyone is currently going through a similar situation, what are you doing to remain stable. Please someone help me and talk to me. I love this woman more than my own life and I just can't seem to live without her. Please help me. Thank you all. Had to put this post here to remind others of your financial/living situation. Also to remind you that you should not place another person in the 'center' of your world. I hope that some of the advice has helped you and that we will hear from you again soon. Keep your chin up and find some other diversions to keep you busy enough to help you sleep nights. Also have you considered trying Melatonin? Read up on it, it can help you through stressful times and is something usually produced by the healthy body, but your's is not that healthy mentally or physically right now. Good Luck.
;)

Matty, she wants out, right wrong or indifferent, that's what she wants. If you have any chance in heck to salvage this thing, you need to be extreme. Sell the house (I'm assuming you're buying since you mentioned mortgage and not rent), the market is still good right now. This is the only real tie that binds you right now. Selling the house will untie that knott, maybe even put a few bucks in your pocket which should help you rent a place for now.

She was only 18 when you guys started this thing. She says she wonders what it would be like to be on her own as an adult. She needs to find out.

Living in a house together with pets may somewhat feel like being married, but its really not cause with marriage comes commitment. Commitment to stay together and work things out when they get rough. Statistically speaking, men and women who were out on their own for at least 2 years have a better success rate in marriage because they've been schooled in responsibilities and have respect for the hard work it takes to keep things up. This will also of course eliminate the tension of living in the same house although broken up or things may eventually get ugly. If she says that she can't pay for rent on her own, remind her that she wanted to be out on her own as an adult, that's what adults do, whatever it takes to pay the rent and support yourself. If she still can't do it, then maybe she should consider moving back home for a while until she can. You should not be each others crutch, then no one grows up. Be on your own for at least a couple of years, I know it seems like a long time but you're young, you can afford the time, it's an investment. It might be hard but it will be well worth it.

If she was meant to come back to you, believe me when I tell you that you will love the fact that she's become her own woman, mature, responsible, ready to take on a serious relationship and commit to it, no more playing house. Good luck to you.

momincali is a very smart woman. I agree 1000% - this is what needs to be done. I hinted at this in a previous post.

To actually get her back - you need to prove you are serious about moving on. And being serious about moving on means possibly finding someone else - which I think most likely will happen.

Being independent of her is key here. As I always say - people want what they can't have - it's so true.

Matty, she wants out, right wrong or indifferent, that's what she wants. If you have any chance in heck to salvage this thing, you need to be extreme. Sell the house (I'm assuming you're buying since you mentioned mortgage and not rent), the market is still good right now. This is the only real tie that binds you right now. Selling the house will untie that knott, maybe even put a few bucks in your pocket which should help you rent a place for now.

She was only 18 when you guys started this thing. She says she wonders what it would be like to be on her own as an adult. She needs to find out.

Living in a house together with pets may somewhat feel like being married, but its really not cause with marriage comes committment. Committment to stay together and work things out when they get rough. Statistically speaking, men and women who were out on their own for at least 2 years have a better success rate in marriage because they've been schooled in responsibilities and have respect for the hard work it takes to keep things up. This will also of course eliminate the tension of living in the same house although broken up or things may eventually get ugly. If she says that she can't pay for rent on her own, remind her that she wanted to be out on her own as an adult, that's what adults do, whatever it takes to pay the rent and support yourself. If she still can't do it, then maybe she should consider moving back home for a while until she can. You should not be each others crutch, then no one grows up. Be on your own for at least a couple of years, I know it seems like a long time but you're young, you can afford the time, it's an investment. It might be hard but it will be well worth it.

If she was meant to come back to you, believe me when I tell you that you will love the fact that she's become her own woman, mature, responsible, ready to take on a serious relationship and commit to it, no more playing house. Good luck to you.BRAVO - This will make her grow up, and you need a grown up woman, not be a substitute for her parents. I think there is no further comment needed -

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_1_75.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZN)Momincali, you did it again!

Well, I just wanted to thank all you guys again... you have been help. However, I am a VERY stubborn person and every time I read your comments I say to myself "maybe they're right" but an hour later I think "my life sucks" again. I am trying so hard and you guys actually do give me that little glimmer of hope. And a note to wildcat... I understand what you are trying to say, but have some compassion. I do NOT need to be called a "WUSS". That comment was rude and I do not appreaciate it. Again, I understand the point you were getting to, but try to lay off the name calling... I get it! I'm not mad at you wildcat, again, I understand what you were trying to say. Oh hell, maybe I'm just blowing a stupid word out or proportion. Ha, well, ummmm, never mind I guess LOL. Other than that, thank you wildcat, you have shed some light on a few queston that have been running through my head, as have you all. Please keep my head up. I'll try to post again in a week or so and let you guys know how it's all going. I'm sure I'll still need your advice. Thanks again all! :cool:

Mat, keep you head and your hopes up. Nothing is ever final until the day we die, so there is always hope. You both have choices to make and have to live with the consequences - maybe she'll grow up and start appreciating what she has. At any time you need us, we are here. Good Luck!


P.S. If you would like to rate us, we won't be mad at you. ;)

Hey Matt - I deal in tough love - I want you to CHANGE YESTERDAY!! I deal in truths. No flower - people don't change on flowery advice.

I give this advice because you need to become stronger. Build barriers. Have your own tests. You need to learn about women and why things happen so you're a step a head of the game - not behind all the time and wondering what the hell happened.

I know a lot of what I say doesn't make sense, but women don't always want the 'nice' guy - they need a guy with a life - who has his life together - a guy who is busy and has OTHER things going on in his life.

Women are part of your life - not your life. Don't put a woman up on a pedestal or a head of you - NONE deserve and they will rip your heart out and chew it up IF you do this.

Women want to feel the upgraded in a man.

I am kind of going through the same situation as you. But I was not dating the person as long and you and her have been together. What I am doing to get through this is just hanging out with a few of my friends and my family. I also do not have that many friends, since they are all in college and we just drifted apart. I have been talking to a few trusted people too. Whenever this breakup gets too much for me to handle, I pick up the phone and just vent to one of my close friends. Just talking about it seems to be helping. Or I come on this website and ask for advice... they give great advice in here. Try not to think about the breakup. I know that it is extremely hard, since you are still living with her. Try to keep busy as much as possible. It will get your mind off things. Have you gone out with the few friends from work that you have? That might help. Maybe you'll meet some new people to hang out with also. I don't know how much my advice will help, but I hope it does. That is what I have been doing to get through this breakup of mine. I still really love this guy, and I don't want to meet anyone else new, but I know that I need too. Give her her space and freedom, and if she loves you and if it is meant to be, then she will come back to you. Usually us girls realize what we had when it is no longer a part of our life. Hang in there, things will get easier... I promise! Good luck with everything and keep us posted! :)

Hello!

You do not need other people to tell you what to do. Everybody that goes through the same situation might have different outcomes because not everybody is the same.

My advice is how you were describing your love for her with your post my first instinct is why do you not tell her how you feel. It might be what the doctor ordered. Let her know how you still feel about her. That simple.

Joe

So the other day my girlfriend told me she needed her space. We got together when she was 18 and I was 23. Now, at the time, I had already gone through a couple of serious relationships, as well as that whole peroid of my life where I went out and had fun while I was single. Since my girlfriend is now 22, she is wondering what she is missing. Our relationship is very serious right now. We have a house, a dog, two cats, and it's basically like we are married, which I love. But she says she just isn't sure if that's what she wants because she has never experienced beinbg on her own as an adult. For financial reasons, we have decided to break up, but I would still live in the hous. Seperate rooms, no sex, and no checking up on each other, just llike we're single, which I guess we are. I am having a really tough time with this whole situation. Now I do understand her feelings, but my life right now is not too good and this situation could not come at a worse time for me. I am in a lot of credit trouble, I don't really have a lot of friends except for the people I work with (but me and her work at the same place so it's hard), and I just don't want to lose her forever. I know I am not asking for a simple answer to a question here, but I just need some people to tell me what to do. If anyone out there went through the same situation, wht did you do to survive? Did you do anything to bring her or him back to you. Did the situation turn out good or bad. Or if anyone is currently going through a similar situation, what are you doing to remain stable. Please someone help me and talk to me. I love this woman more than my own life and I just can't seem to live without her. Please help me. Thank you all. Hi, - as you can see, she knows he loves her, but is having inner conflicts with herself at present. She needs to grow up and realize that nobody is 100 percent perfect or happy and start making her peace with reality. We usually go through our 'rebelious' period younger, but she had been pampered and now tastes freedom and does not know what to do with it - so she wants her cake and eat it too. So, matt can suggest they sell the house, that might wake her up, or wait for her to make a choice. He should however, give her an ultimatum - you're right there...

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Again - he can't go around the house like a sick puppy. Plus he spends WAY too much time wit hthis gal. I bet she thinks of him more as friend. The romance is gone because he spent too much time with her as her friend. Woman need mystery, romance, they need the feeling you might just leave (this is reality, NOT story books), they need excitement. I have a feeling the day in and day out living together made her bored to an extreme. She lost respect for him as well because he was there too much.

You created this situation, and now you pretend to be perplexed by it. Let's see. Just imagine you were 18, and some 23 year old women, pounced on you, and robbed you of your youth, and now you want..

When I was 23, my guy was 33 he was a doctor and I was in med school, but I was not pampered as a child and knew what I was doing.. We are all different and that's what's unique about humanity. Some just need longer to grow up.

You are going to be needing it. You will continue.

You created this situation, and now you pretend to be perplexed by it. Let's see. Just imagine you were 18, and some 23 year old women, pounced on you, and robbed you of your youth, and now you want...............?


Katiy- With all due respect, he didn't rob anyone of anything unless she was kept there at gunpoint from the ages of 18 to 22. It was also her choice.

Matt-stop using finances as an excuse. Get out of there and stay out. You are the one who needs to be on your own. Why play house with someone who isn't committed to you.She's too young and immature to be sharing expenses with let alone a house.what if she finds someone and moves him in .Now What? This is a disaster waiting to happen .Get out before that house comes down around you.Make a place to call your BASE so you at least can get yourself together and then see what comes next.Be responsible for yourself.Not to be harsh though not all my youthfull decision worked out to good ,but stay with it and good luck whatever you choose to do.

You created this situation, and now you pretend to be perplexed by it. Let's see. Just imagine you were 18, and some 23 year old women, pounced on you, and robbed you of your youth, and now you want...............?

Ok, I don't know what the deal is here. Have you been reading anything in any of the threads you have been posting in? It really doesn't look like it. This is a place where people come and ask for ADVICE, and frankly you are being no help. This is the 2nd post I have seen where you have attacked someone, and are talking about things that you obviously have no idea about. READ THE WHOLE THREAD. I realize it is hard to just jump into a long thread and give advice, but that should more than likely be your cue to stay out. I don't mean this to be an attack on you in any way, I am just getting frustrated with you off the wall comments that pretty much have nothing to do with the topic at hand. If you are here to help, that's great, the more the better I say. If you are here to just make random comments about peoples relationships, no thanks. Again, I am not trying to be rude in any way here, maybe you just don't realize what you are saying. :rolleyes:

Ok, I dont know what the deal is here. Have you been reading anything in any of the threads you have been posting in? It really doesnt look like it. This is a place where people come and ask for ADVICE, and frankly you are being no help. this is the 2nd post I have seen where you have attacked someone, and are talking about things that you obviously have no idea about. READ THE WHOLE THREAD. I realize it is hard to just jump into a long thread and give advice, but that should more than likely be your cue to stay out. I dont mean this to be an attack on you in any way, I am just getting frustrated with you off the wall comments that pretty much have nothing to do with the topic at hand. If you are here to help, thats great, the more the better I say. If you are here to just make random comments about peoples relationships, no thanks. Again, I am not trying to be rude in any way here, maybe you just dont realize what you are saying. :rolleyes:

You Said it Brother!! :mad:

You are going to be needing it. You will continue.I have no idea who you meant this toward, but your short input in many posts don't make any sense at all. Please be more explicit and address the person you mean when you post those short meaningless words please. This is the second time I've asked you to explain and still you continue. Please be a little more careful and constructive. Thanks.

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Agreed, I have been reading your posts and most of them are so vague you can't get anything from them. Try and explain your point instead of hitting us with these one liners please. :cool:

I am pratically in the same situation you are in... My girl cheated on me though and I asked her to move out and then changed my mind... (I realized how important she was to me and my son) We talked it over and decided her moving out would give her some space and alleviate some issues we had living together... Im not perfext, I had to do a lot of research to find out the truth about what she was doing when she cheated on me and I realized in was obsessed doing it, now she tells me she wants space and time alone... I agree with the rest of the people repling here that you just need to give her that. If you love something let it go and if it comes back then you know its meant to be. Don't call her or email her. Wait for her to call you. Don't smother her with information about how much you love her and how you care for her deeply. Some girls when they want to get away they are pressed further away by this as is my girl.. I am learning the hard way here and I don't know if I can stay sane by listening to this advice, but I have to try because I am too much in love to make things worse..

Brian

No - if they cheated don't ever take them back. Trust is broken. Find a gal you can respect and trust.

I am pratically in the same situation you are in... My girl cheated on me though and i asked her to move out and then changed my mind... (i realized how important she was to me and my son) We talked it over and decided her moving out would give her some space and alleviate some issues we had living together... Im not perfext, i had to do alot of research to find out the truth about what she was doing when she cheated on me and i realized in was obsessed doing it, now she tells me she wants space and time alone... I agree with the rest of the people repling here that you just need to give her that. If you love something let it go and if it comes back then you know its meant to be. Dont call her or email her. Wait for her to call you. Don't smother her with information about how much you love her and how you care for her deeply. Some girls when they want to get away they are pressed further away by this as is my girl.. I am learning the hard way here and I don't know if i can stay sane by listening to this advice, but i have to try because I am too much in love to make things worse..

Brian Unfortunately, if I still understand this correctly, they live in the same house, and pay for it together. I'ts kind of difficult to stop and ignore someone still there.

As for you, dear, follow your heart and gut feelings, because there is also a gift that we are given, the gift of forgiveness and understanding. Once you realize that you are not 100 percent perfect either, that's a good first step. Maybe you just 'enclosed' her too much and she ran scared? Did that ever happen to you? Think about it. Good luck and Happy Thanksgiving.

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I Dnt Know How My Situation Compares To Yours But After My Huband Left Me I Met This Seemingly Nice Man. I Was Able To Open Up To Him. He Knew I Had Children And We Started The Bf Gf Thing After Awhile And Then After Awhile Moved Intogether. It All Seemed Nice. He Had My Parents Fooled. He Had My Dad Believing He Would Marry Me And The Way He Kept Saying When We Get Married And This Is What Our House Will Look Like. Then One Day All Of A Sudden Hes Not My Boyfriend. I Asked Him What's He Talking About And He Said Ill Never Be In Love With You The Way You Want Me To And You And I Will Never Marry And ( Imagine This In A Mocking Voice Like A Drunk Texan In A Bar) Im Still In Wuv With Tina. Bla Bla.why In The Heck He Want Relize That She's Playing With Him Ill Never Know. But Because Of Perfect Size 0 Blue Eyed Vulcanish Tina I Could Stay There Until I Got Things Straight And Then I Had To Get The Hell Out Of His House. Well I Decided That There Was No Way In Hell I Was Sleeping In The Same Bed Any More And Stopped Sleeping With Him Period. He Started Getting All Emotionally Abusive Towards Me And I Always Had To Pretend To Be On My Period Cause He Wouldn't Leave Me Alone. I Finally Moved Out To Georgia And Now He Calls Over Here Apologizing And Smacking His Gums. He Told Me If Tina Won't Take Him He Might Just Come See Me And We Could Try And Get Back Together. I Said No Way In Hell And Thanks For Making Me Second Choice Buddy. And Now He Keeps Hinting About Asking Me To Marry Him. Well I Find That I Dnt Know What I Saw In Him In The First Place And I Really Dnt Find Him Attractive Anymore. If I Had To Wake Up Next To His Face Everymorning Id Puke.

So glad you paid attention to that light bulb going on.Seems like nowadays everyone wants to move in together after knowing each other for a very short time(shackin' back in the day).But when the heat of passion cools or the real person shows up watchout.misery pain hatred... on and on.Yeah its cheaper and more convenient to have girl/boyfriend right there,but then comes the emotional and financial cost of breaking up can be a real b... h!Hell, married couples break up at a 50% rate what makes you think you can beat those odds.I've been marrid 30 years and trust me Ihave to work as hard now as when we first met NO JOKE!When you have kids its got to be even tougher when those shackin' arrangements don't work out.But the goods news since you were not married you don't have carry his name around :)Good luck on getting it back together go forward not backward. :)

What happened? I thought this was Matt's post? :o

I did too, the caps are freaking me out as well. Matt, how is everything going?

I agree with Jeff and Momincali. How about your input Matt...

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

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My Mum & Step-Dad have just split up and they did just as you are doing. Being on the outside I was bale to see what was going on. My mum told me how she felt as did my step dad.

My Mum wanted space and my Step-Dad just wanted to put things right.

The living room became my Step-Dad's space and the sofa his Bed. My mum kept herself away in her room when she was home and resorted to going out frequently with her friends. They stayed that way for months purely for financial reasons. I tried to help; but they were beyond help. My Mum did not want to stay in the relationship; but my Step-Dad did. My step-dad has now moved out and it looks as though we will be selling our house after xmas.

My Step-dad does not really have a lot of friends; but he does have a hobby - Football. He is able to socialise with others and keep his mind occupied. Not only does he play but he also coaches. If he did not have that, then I am not sure he would be able to cope.

So Fredg is right, you need to take up a hobby of some sort; one which enables you to meet others and keep your mind occupied. Some sort of sport would be ideal. It release lots of positive energy and allows you to feel a whole lot better in yourself. In time you will put everything in perspective and see things in a new light.

Why don't you also make an appointment with your bank manager to discuss your financial problems; I am sure they will be able to find a way to help and assist with your current financial problems.

Please don't put yourself through un-necessary stress, it's nothealthy and can make you very ill over a prolonged period. It's hard but you will get through it!

Hey all... saw a few people were looking for me... I'm doing OK I guess. Things are still the same, living together, and all that stuff. I am finding this whole thing hard though because living together like this makes it feel like we're still together. She hasn't really been going out a lot so we've been spending a lot of time together. I have of course asked her about us and if anything has changed and she says no... but I'm kind of getting mixed feelings here... she says we're not together but we've been doing a lot together just like we used to. It's almost like she's getting her cake and eating it too. But I'm just sticking it out, seeing what happens. As always, thank you all for being here for me. I'll get back on soon I hope to see how everyone's doing. Thanks again!

Glad to hear from you again.Seems not much has changed except your girlfriend has moved on,at least her feelings have if not her body.I think I know your problem,MONEY, right.How about moving in with a friend until the house can be sold so you can get enough money together to live away fom your gf/roomate?You do sound pretty miserable where your at.When married couples finally get divorsed and move out it can be a very hectic time,but they seem to get it back together after a time.Most of the guys and gals I know have been split up before some more than once, and they all seem to bounce back just fine.Question -Have either you or your girlfriend tried dating some one else during this so called break-up?:cool:

Hi, I have gone through this situation also as well as my best friend. I met my husband when I was 18 and nine years and two kids later I have wondered what it would have been like to being out on my own. I married the first guy I ever had a relationship with, and believe me in the beginning of our marrige it wasn't easy. When we were dating I really didn't have the desire to be with anyone else or be on my own because he took care of me and everything was fine. Until we had our first child, got married, and bought our house all in one year. For me, being thrown into domestication with a husbnd and a child all at the age of 21 made me freak out a bit. I loved my husband but I wanted that freedom and independence that most people have in their early twenties and I fought with these feelings for a long time. But I came to the conclusion that although as much as I wanted my space or freedom I really love the guy I was with, and Is it worth throwing that away for some fun? I also had my child to think about. My best friend though is in the opposite direction, she has been with her boyfriend for nine years and is on the verdge of a "break" for those same reasons. She struggles with this far more often than I do. Probably because she is in a better situation to call for a break, They don't have any kids and don't live together, so there decisions effect only themselves. I wish I had some advice for you that would help you change her mind but this is something she needs to figure out on her own. If she feels that strongly about it than you need to let her go and hopefully she will realize what she has. I have some single friends and the grass isn't always greener on the other side and she may figure that out. I personally don't believe in breaks, because your basically allowing that person to leave you, have their fun with the hopes of them coming back and establishing a relationship with you. I always thoght them to be kind of selfish. Either they want to be with you or not. Its either worth it to give up or not. But to each there own. I hope she realizes what she has with you and makes the right decision. Good luck!-bizygurl(aka-hanabelle);)

Thank goodness you responded. But I don't like the sound of the way you are consoled with the state of things. I hope you get on again to read these posts, even if you don't respond back that soon. Why not try to be busy yourself sometimes, even when she stays home? Try to make yourself unavailable too for a while because she's of the opinion that you will always be there and that she can count on you. Change the table around a few times and make her wake up. Babe, don't get maudlin on us, please - it's the season to be happy now, and you need a big dose of that. Try seeing some kids in the hospital and bring them some cheer, or maybe other social events that don't cost much, but get out and don't seclude yourself. Wishing you all the best, dear and keep in touch.

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Hey all... been a while huh? OK, so after 4 months now (almost anyway) I've decided that I am in no way shape or form over her. She just went out tonight with and old flame as "friends" and I feel like dying. She went with her friend and his friend too, so 4 of them. She tells me "he has a girlfriend" but who cares? I don't know, I just need to talk about this I guess. I have no money to get out of this house yet and I have almost no furniture since everything is hers. I'm so screwed right now. Now I feel like I'm throwing a pity party but I'm not. I just don't know what to do. Allow me to sound like a wimp right here, but all I am doing tonight is crying. I have been in many relationships but this girl is the one.. I know she is. Why doesn't she feel the same way? God, I don't know what to do. Anyway, no need to respond to this... just wanted to get it out.

I do need to respond. Why are you crying over somebody that does not want to be with you or feel the same about you. If this was the girl for you then she would feel the same about you but she does not. You need to move on. I know you just wanted to get it out and we will always be here to have an open ear and also give advice or opinions and of course support.

Joe

Dude - read your post. No women would want to be with a guy who wrote a post like that. Seriously. SNap out of it!!

I hate to be harsh... but SNAP OUT of it. Move on. No WOMEN ever wants a needy, crying, jealous, INSECURE, whimpy.

She is/WAS only part of your life, not your life... move on it's over. She's moved on.

I have a feeling you don't want to leave that house because of her. Get out of that house.

OBVIOUSLY you have DONE NOTHNG TO IMPROVE YOURSELF OVER THE LAST 4 MONTHS. Sitting there evey night in self pitty.

Dude - again - learn about women, change yourself,

Women want a confident, independent, mature, secure guy... you put too much presaure on her being this lovely dovey whimp.

She doesn't feel for you man because you're an insecire, needy, jealous, whimp.

You shuld be laughing about this by now and moving on - YET, after 4 motnhs you are in the same place.

You need to be the guy when you first met - yet she sees this whimp now... she'll NEVER have those feelinsg again for you because of eho you are now - move on dude - this ones done.

I told you this stuff before, but here we go again - do yourself a favor and read EVERYTHING in these articles... NO WOMEN WANTS A 'NICE GUY' WHIMP.

Go to www.askmen.com and read evry dating article... evry article - including Doc Love.

www.sosuave.com - read everything!!

www.lovetactics.com - read all the free articles.

www.relationships.blog-city.com - read about how women really are.

Women are not attracted to needy whinny whimps nice guys - just a fact.

I love this woman more than my own life and I just can't seem to live without her. Please help me. Thank you all.
I believe you. I'm sure you love her more than yourself. But, you can't love her more than you love yourself. You have to love yourself first. There is no answer straight up for what you're going through that I have. All I got for you is you have to stand tall and focus on what you believe is good for you. Its not always about her. Don't let other people take you away from yourself. You will be lost. Find yourself again and start making decisions that are best for you. You already know what you need to do. You just won't follow through because there will be reaction and your not sure if you will like it. If you start making your own decisions you will feel better.
LMF (later my friend)

Yep - you have to love yourself first. It NOT being conceited.

You have have this gal on a pedestal and she HATES it!! Women should EARN the right to be your equal AND never pass you up in importance... that's WAY too pmuch pressure on a women - women aren't perfect... this gale is clearly NOT perfect.

I still don't understand why you live there or why she does - get out.

I understand your point wildcat, but I have improved myself over the past 4 months... a lot. As for why I am still here... I have to be, I have no choice. I am going to declare bankruptcy within the next couple of weeks because I have no money. I am in a lot of debt and simply cannot afford it. I have no friends who need a roommate and I cannt stay with family. If everyone here understood all the facts it would be easier for you to understand my position. Do I still love her? Yeas I do, but that is not the only reason I am still here. I don't want to leave, but I know I have to suck it up and move on. I know you are being straight forward wildcat, but I do not need to be told in such harsh ways. I appreaciate you trying to help, but I only feel worse when I read your responses. I need caring, loving responses right now. I need friends. Not people yelling at me telling me I'm nuts. Thanks guys. Till next time...

I still think you need a wake up call. I don't waqnt you to pbe in this position ever again with a women.

After 4 months I guess we are as frustrated as you are so don't take it personally,but you do need to do sometthing about your living arrangements since you can't afford to live there,and the only thing I can recommend is an apartment you can afford or sub-lease the home you have,a simple ad in the newspaper may get results or a real estate agent.FYI,sometimes friends tell you what you need to hear not what you want hear,lighten up!

Your story like mine.. she will never ever back to you trust me and you will see that!! Whatever you trying to get her back she will not.. sorry to say that but its true because that's what happened to me exactly and I still want him back to my life.. my advice to you forget her and start dating another ladys that's will work.

I know what I need to hear and I understand what wildcat is saying, but I don't need to hear it over and over and over again. As for the house, I cannot sublease it as it is not mine. I cannot afford an apartment around here at all. All I can do if find a roommate but none of my friends need a roommate at this time and I probably will never just "find" a roommate and live with someone I don't even know. If I sound bitter or angry at any of you I sincerely appoligze, but like I said, I just need to talk to friends here and not get yelled at or have the same thing constantly get beaten into my head. I know I have to suck it up and move on, I know that. But please, just let me be sad, let me mourn, and let me seek people to console me because I need that right now. Thank you.

Maybe if you hear it over and over again. It will sink in and you will realize that your putting yourself through things that you can get out of and stop using your stuck as an excuse not to make a move. Even if it does mean you need help from even government to stay somewhere. >

In the four months you 've been stuck you could have moved back with mom and dad and had a dollar in your pocket by now,you don't need anymore consoling you need some action!

Hi,
This original question (post) is almost 4 months old!

Well, thanks for sugesting moving in with mom and dad, but I cannot, not because I don't want to, I just can't. I turned to you guys to help me through this as nobody in my "real" life seems to care, and it seems that nobody on here wants to deal with me anymore either so I am moving on... Thank you to the ones that did talk to me compasionatley, I appreaciate your imput. I wish everyone here the best of luck.

Son, after listening to your problem for 4 months and reading all the good advice that has been given I expect you to quite whining and get a plan of action and do it! I don't know what the deal is with your parents but in 4 months you could have made a reasonable decision as to how to deal with your situation, so forget that nobody loves me crap and stand on your own two feet.As you can tell I hate seeing some one sit on the pity pot and go with the woe is me routine so get busy and make us proud of you,Is this sinking in yet cause I'm tired of repeating myself and your still sitting on the same spot.:cool:

There was a lot outstanding advice given here.

The solution for this guy is for her to come running back in to his arms - WHICH WILL NEVER HAPPEN.

She sees this pitty-party, feeling sorry for himself guy... n oway she wants him. What a drag.

I bet $1 million she is repulsed by him.

Move on dude - get some confidence back.

I would advise moving I nwith your parents - you need a massive change I nyour life.

And this gal isn't coming back - and yet you have to see her every day - and I bet she craps on you as well and you take it. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Change your life pal now!

And moving in with your parents may not be cool, but you can save money. I don't know what your financial situation is, but it sounds like you spent money a little too freely... women hate that as well. I sounds like you let a lot of things slide in your life over this women. Not good. I bet this whole things has effected your work as well - not good.

See AGAIN - when you put a women up on a pedestal.

Wake UP - she left you!! She's with another guy or guys. Do you really want that back?? NO!

There are other women out there!! It happened to me many times to count... AND I always found a better.

This gal isn't your sloe mate, if she was, she'd be with you. This is is a learning experince.

Get out of that house, she isn't coming back - especially in this situation.

Dear Matty, we can support you with experience,advice and try to help you build up your self-confidence again. The rest is up to you, so please don't hang your head and walk out on this, as running away will never help you now or in the future. We are here for you 24/7, to help, but the only one who can actively do something to change your life is you.
You could rent the house out to someone else and use that money to find a small place, or you could sell it and start over. Let her fend for herself - she needs to learn a lesson too and you don't need to be her 'knight in shining armor' since she has not come close to you since the last time we posted, so you know where you stand. This might hurt like heck now, but it will pass and make you stronger - make her pick up the tab for herself and you take care of Number One - YOU!
If you do rent out, she'll either have to get along with them, or move herself, but you are making it too easy for her - STOP doing this.
Get back with us, please.

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To be blunt - why would you want to be with this girl? She put you in a bad position here.

You have grow, learn, build confidence. Your current living situation won't allow that.

Hello all, me again. Well, I decided to come back just to see what you guys are saying. Wildcat, I really do appreaciate you trying to help, but the way you speak to me is absolutely horrible. I know you're all about being blunt and all, but calling me "pal" and acting like you know my entire situation is plain wrong. You even stated that I spend money too freely? How the heck do you know? The truth is that I git into some money problems when I was younger and am still struggling to pay it off, not to mention family problems which require me to help out. I bust my *** day in and day out to make ends meat and never treat myself to the finer things in life. Perhaps you have that luxury, but I do not. I am not trying to sound rude here, but please, syop posting in this thread if you are going to continue to make me feel like a piece of s**t. You want blunt, there it is. Again, I appreaciate you trying to help me, but you are not. Your approach may help some, but not me, and I am sorry for that. As for you others who have given me what I need (compassion, and just talking NICELY) I thank you from the bottom of my heart. When I read your posts I feel better and I get a good outlook on life (sorry wildcat, but when I read yours I just get outraged and feel like crap). All I wanted was some friends I could TALK to and most of you have given that to me, and again, I thank you for that. As for my situation, I discussed it with the ex and she is going to let me start paying her less for my part of the mortgage and all so I can save some money for a place (she recently received a raide at work and can afford to pay more than she has... very sweet of her for helping me out). Like I said, I know I need to get out and I have been trying to, now I can start. Things have continued to be civil in the house, and we actually have fun as friends latley. It is known that nothing will be the same between us, and I am beginning to accept that. As a matter of fact, I have been talking to a great girl and it seems as if something may be developing with her and it feels great. I am however kind of holding back, being cautious. I just don't want to get hurt again, but she is really sweet and has made it known that she likes me a lot. We'll see how things pan out there. Guess that's it for now, just an update for you guys. Thank you again everyone!

Good for you bud! A lot of times the "tuff love" thing is the only way to drive the point home. I know it was with me, but hey, everyone is different. I think (for the most part) people need to be slapped out of that "feeling sorry for themselves" phase, and reality has to hit. Its cool that it doesn't work for you though. I was wondering what ever became of this situation... that's great that she is helping you out, she probably understands that this situation itsnt the best for the both of you. Also, that's good that you are "holding back" because I REALLY don't think you should pursue this anymore, just move on. She is helping you out of her life now, and you should take that for what it is, not something else. Good luck with your situation, just take some time for you now. Ive got a new gal after about 6 months and I am just going day by day, nothing more. Best wishes, Jeff.

You needed tough love and still do, because nothing changed. You needed massive change.

I believe you're in the friend zone.

Dear Mattyd.. glad your situation is changed and you feel a little more comfortable. The rest will eventually fall into place for you. Please be careful about the new 'rebound' relationship and be as fair to her as you'd expect from other women from now on, being burnt as you were. Just take care, be yourself, and take it slowly so that you'll be able to breathe debt-free and stress-free air for a change.

The best of luck and wishes,

Chery