My son is 2 1/2. He has never been what I would think of as a biter, just went through a little phase around one, and then we haven't had any problems.

He's bitten at day care about once a month since April. Recently it has increased too about every other week he has a biting incident. He hasn't broken skin yet, but the daycare is concerned about it.

He goes on time outs, and that doesn't seem to help. I've taken away privileges like playing outside, playing with his favorite truck, and no juice when he has a biting incident. And it still seems to happen.

I strongly feel this is just a phase he will grow out of, but I'm worried about what to do in the meantime. He is now at the discipline stage at his day care where if he has another incident, he has to be taken home for the day. I'm absolutely petrified that this really isn't punishment for him, it just means he gets to spend the day with mommy. He's a smart kid, I don't want him realizing all he has to do to spend a day at home with mommy is bite someone. It's not like at 2 1/2 years I can put him on a 6 hour timeout. I can't just ignore him for 6 whole hours, I've no idea what to do to make sure we get him through this phase without causing a whole bunch of other problems.

I really like the daycare he is at, he is learning by leaps and bounds. He can recognize about half of his letters on sight by name, all his colors, counting to 20, and he loves it there.

To me it seems like perhaps their discipline policy isn't really geared to get such a young child through this stage. How do other day cares handle the biting stage? I understand it's important to keep the other children safe, and I feel horrible that he's going through this, I just want to make it a good outcome for everyone.

My thought is instead of sending him home for the day, maybe the best way to deal with it is too call me and have me come there immediately (Well, immediate plus the 20 minute drive) and scold him, but not take him home with me.

I've no idea what the right thing to do is. Help!

I operate a preschool, and have dealt with many biters over the years. It is a phase, and he will grow out of it. I can see you are trying your best, but let me point something out. When you punish him, this is after daycare, at home? Believe me when I say that a 2 year old has no idea what they're being punished for at that point. They do not have the cognitive processes to know that they don't get juice because they bit little Suzy hours ago. Now this would definitley be to your disadvantage as far as your job, but my policy in that situation of recurring biting is we call the parents to come right away to discipline he child, talk to them, etc, and then return to work. Parents sometimes get angry about leaving work, but I explain the reasoning I just mentioned and ask them if that's not better than having no daycare at all, and calling in a whole day.
Also, I don't know how receptive to suggestions your daycare is, but this is something I tell my teachers to do. It's not fair to keep a child in "time out" all day because they are a biter. But I tell my teachers to stay with that child. Allow him to interact freely, and go to centers as he chooses, etc, but to keep a constant eye on the child so that they can intervene when they see him about to bite and re-direct him. Honestly, he shouldn't have been able to bite that much, it makes me wonder about understaffing?

I disagree with people who say a two year old couldn't possibly understand repercussions like that. There are times he tells me the next day if he bit someone, and in the morning I ask him what is going to happen if he bites, and he tells me he won't get to play outside, and won't get treats. Also, there was a day his teachers must not have seen it, but he told me on the way home that he bit Crystal so he couldn't play outside. To me, it seems like he understands repercussions of the biting.

But, besides that, I agree completely, I would much rather leave work to go discipline him, and it seemed to me like maybe they should be keeping a closer eye on him while he goes through this stage. It's hard for me to know, he's my first child. What you said is pretty much what I was thinking, thank you for the suppot! It's hard to know what is normal and not the first time around.

And, they have been a little understaffed recently, and brought in a bunch of new teachers. I don't want to just place all the blame on the day care, but it seems like they should take some responsibility for it.

Think about it. You are two and a half years old and Billy takes your truck. You try to grab it, but he holds it so you can't take it away from him. His pudgy arm is waving right in your face. What to do, what to do.

Wow! You didn't expect THAT reaction. And now he's crying and has dropped the truck. You reach for it but the daycare lady is scolding you.

Biting works. It produces a reaction in the other kid. Is there a better way to accomplish what you try to accomplish with biting? It's up to the staff to IMMEDIATELY and gently teach the biter that there is indeed a better way.