Hi please help I have lived with my partner for 14 years he is a fantastic guy and I love him to bits. We are both in our 50's young looking and have very busy life with children from both ex relationships and our full time jobs. I am a nurse and he is a sales exec who has recently landed a fantastic job which he so deserves. He is what you may call every-ones friend he hates confrontation and is genuinely a lovely man. And this is my dilemma-I have been suffering an identity crisis for quite a few months now menopausal, unfulfilled with work life you heard it all before I'm sure,we talk he says all the right things and I plod on. However I got that "womans intuition thing" a couple of weeks ago, nothing serious but had given myself agood talking to counted my blessings etc. Then I went through his phone messages and found one from who I now know is an an ex-colleague of his inviting him to lunch nothing unusual in that he often lunches with people it's part of his day. It was his response and thanks that set my alarm bells ringing, how much he'd enjoyed her company and looked forward to doing it again. I left it, doubting my instincts I thought I should just monitor the situation. Sure enough I found another one her invitation and his response-sure I would love to meet up lets go somewhere nice. My stomach churned and I thought we have a situation developing here Do I say something or be crafty and wait? I went to work on Saturday my head in turmoil and felt like the proverbial dog muck you get on your shoe. On my return home and obvious demeanor he asked what was up. And instead of shutting my big mouth I let rip and told him everything. There were a million excuses and denials -just lunch talking about work no emotional feelings for her. So why did he make the effort to travel 20 miles from work to meet her, why did he not even consider that I should feel hurt if I found out? We've had the inquest I'm still not convinced that he won't see her again he has so much freedom with his job and I can't shake off the fact that despite his insistence there is nothing to it that the potential is there she is in her late 30's never married attractive successful All the things I'm definitely not I have had to take a day off today- my head is mashed my heart hurts and worst of all I am a phone call away from ringing her, I have forwarded all their messages to my phone, shall I do it? I' very emotional and angry but I do feel I deserve the truth. What do I do ?/

I honestly do not think you should ring her. That is just my own personal opinion. Do you know this person? Have you ever met her? I think he is aware of the way you feel and he needs to be the man to take that step to make sure you do not feel the way you do now. Ringing her is not going to help.