Okay here is how it goes... I cheated on my ex boyfriend( he use to beat me) with this guy called levi for 3 yrs it was on and off thou. But this guy levi was really sweet and he always treated me with respect and he cared about . But I was "inlove with my ex" so I would always push him away. So I stop talking to him for like a year. And now he came back to my life, but he's the one with the girlfriend now that lives with him. So now I'm was the secret lover and I don't like it. We would see each other everyday while he was working we would go to the hotel, out to eat and sometimes at night when he could out to dance. I finally got tired because I was never the second girl, I told him to pick me or her. He told me he didn't love here but that she loves him a lot and that he don't really know if I loved him or not so why would I leave someone that I love for someone that I don't even know if they love me. Week later she caught him, she read our text messages.
She called me crying and I told her that we were talking but that we never ed which is a lie. And I told her he's the one that looks for me. I was pissed and I told him to leave me alone and that he made he's decision already. 3 months passed and I called him and know where back in the same page. But now I'm going to try to get him because he was mine first and I know he loves me because he would'nt cheat on here right? And I know he only hooked up with her because he was lonely because he has no family here and she only wants to be with him because he's rich hell. So I'm going to try to get him back!! I don't think this is wrong because she's just a girlfriend not a wife and they have no kids together.what do you think? Should I give up? Should I try? Am I doing wrong? Please tell me I need help!

I think you are pitiful. You cheated with this guy for three years because you would not leave the boy friend that was beating you. The guy you want now is obviously a cheater, he did when you were with some one and now he's cheating again on someone.
You two deserve each other.
I hope he gives his current girl friend a break and leaves her. But you'd better watch out because pay back is a b***h. If you think once you two get together he won't cheat on you, you are fooling yourself.

Wow. Seriously, are you that deprived for entertainment that you must resort to all this for some drama in your life?

The reason why I couldn't leave him because I was young when I first met him I was 15. I was in love with him. And he knew I that I loved him so much he knew I could'nt leave him so he took advantage of me. He was my first. He would cry to me telling me he's sorry that he'll never do it again. He would change 4 like 3 weeks then do it again. I think I just got use to him and I had hope he'll change. I tried so many times and I always went back to him. We would break up for a week maybe a month and that's the time I was with levi. I don't think I did wrong playing my ex I'm stupid for staying that long in the relationship. But I just couldn't do it I really tried so many times. When I use to tell people we broke up they would never believe me they would always tell me I know your going to get back with him.
But the last time he beat me it was badly he gave me a black eye, bruises on my face, busted my upper and lower lip, and I had bruises all over my body. That's when I pressed charges on him and left him 4 good. To tell you the truth after he did that to me I blamed myself and I still wanted to be with him. I wanted to cover him up. I told my mom I got into a fight at the club but she knew. But its been like 7 months sice that happen and I'm over him. I'm finally happy.

So, you are finally happy being the other woman? You are very dysfunctional yet you just don't see it.

How old are you now?

Do you really think any of what your doing is healthy? When you read what you write does it sound like the words of someone that should be dating at all at this stage in her life?

CHEATING will never be justified. By you allowing this to go on you are bringing instability into his life and making a vary loud statement by your actions that you have no love for him whatsoever you only have your own selfish desires to fulfill.

It might not be healty but life is too short and I do whatever makes me happy. I think being happy is what everyone wants and that's what we live for right?
Okay first of all love has no age you can't help loving someone and it doesn't matter how old you are. And I'm not afraid of being hurt because I've been hurt to many times my tears have dried up. So all I have is hope...

You do whatever makes you happy? If you had any idea how much this situation holds onto every aspect of your life and hurts you as well as two other people. By all of your posts it doesn't seem very apparent that you're happy at all. So before you proclaim that you do whatever makes you happy, try to figure out what exactly that is, first.

I'm happy I learned to let go of the past and I moved on I learned from my mistakes and now I'm stronger then ever before.

Yet you keep making mistakes. Sheesh, how old are you?

You haven't learned anything.

it might not be healty but life is too short and i do whatever makes me happy.

But your not happy.


i think being happy is what everyone wants and thats what we live for right?

But you not living your own life, your living the shadows of those around you and hiding yourself in the drama it creates.


okay first of all love has no age you can't help loving someone and it dosn't matter how old you are.

The question was not if you could avoid the question with some lame generic answer but rather how old are you now?


and i'm not afraid of being hurt because i've been hurt to many times my tears have dried up. so all i have is hope...........................

Then why are you here?

Trust me I learned a lot! I know it might be kind of wrong for what I did but I don't regret it if I had the chance I would do it again. And my ex deserves it!

I'm not avoiding it I'm 19!!
TRUST ME I AM HAPPY!! Different things make people happy so you really don't know if I'm happy. Plus I don't depend on a guy to make me happy but on myself!

i'm not avoiding it i'm 19!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TRUST ME I AM HAPPY!!!!!!! different things make people happy so you really dont know if i'm happy.

People who are happy don't get their a$$ kicked and then say it was okay because he loved me, and I regret that my mom stepped in and helped me. TRUST ME YOU AREN'T FOOLING ME.

I'm happy! Now I bearly realized it wasn't okay and that my mom was right the whole time and I'm so happy she was by my side the whole time and I thank her for doing what she did because if she didn't I would have never left him. And now I won't for any guys to talk to me with disrespect or to put their hands on me. Never again.

Wow... you kind of made me laugh there... seriously... that's a little weird... I think you guys aren't in love... you're lusting him and he's lusting you, and you guys are just putting innocent peoples hearts on the line, because if he doesn't love her, he shouldn't be with her, he should be with you, so you guys can cheat on each other... once a cheater... always a cheater.

Not so true people do change if they really want to. And I know its not lust because I've been in that like so many times so I would know if it is or not. And just to let you know I'm not immature why do you say that because I'm in this situation? There's a lot of people out there that are in the same situstion as me and there like forty years old and guess what its with a married man.

Well everyone thanks everyone for being so kind and helping me out!

Helping you out with what? You said it yourself... you're happy. So, what is it you need help with?

Every time we tried to help you, you came back with excuses.

You're 19, a cheater, and happy to be one. What exactly to you need help with?

it might not be healty but life is too short and i do whatever makes me happy. i think being happy is what everyone wants and thats what we live for right?
okay first of all love has no age you can't help loving someone and it dosn't matter how old you are. and i'm not afraid of being hurt because i've been hurt to many times my tears have dried up. so all i have is hope...........................
So you see nothing wrong with cheating and breaking up someone else' relationship? If that guy cared about you, he would not be with someone else. If he cared about you while you were with that other guy, he would have been helping you leave instead of helping you cheat.
I'm glad you are out of that abusive relationship, but you are now abusing someone else's relationship. Think about it.

well everyone thanks everyone for being so kind and helping me out!!
I think you are a bit misguided. You are now with a guy that does not physically abuse you, but that does not mean he loves you or that you should be with him.
It is not good to cheat and the fact that this guy seems to have no problem cheating tells me he is not a very nice person. If he cheats with you he will cheat on you.
I am so glad that you have gotten out of that abusive situation, but don't waste your time with this guy. Don't waste you time with any guy who has no problem sharing you or having you share him. This guy is bad news and this relationship has way too much drama.

“I think one's feelings waste themselves in words; they ought all to be distilled into actions which bring results.” - Florence Nightingale

J_9 I think your signature has a lot to do with what "kitty" is doing...

OK - I am confused - who is she with now? The one that beat her or Levi?

SHE is with no one, I think, I am not sure... I think "Levi" has a girlfriend now, and she is in "love" with this Levi guy, and HE is cheating on his girl with her, and now, a weight is being pushed down on kitty like maybe Levi had felt with her.. but the most important thing is that she's happy!

Sorry had to throw that last part in there...

She is with Levi, but Levi is with someone else and is cheating with her. She wants to now break up his relationship with the other girl so he will be with her.

OK - I get it now.

No she's single...

And should stay that way until she grows up..

Actually I thought Levi was dating this other girl that was with her ex?

Okay, this is how I understand it. She cheated on her ex (the abuser) with Levi... Then she broke up with both...

Levi now has a live in girlfriend and she is breaking that relationship cause she's now back with Levi, going to hotels etc.

But remember she is 19, she is happy, she is happy to be a heartbreaker.

One of these days though, all that happiness will come crashing down around her ankles.

Levi is dating a totally different girl, I thought, I may not know, but here's a GOOD THOUGHT!

OK, so I think her and Levi should get together, because they will probably end up cheating on each other, or either becoming swingers, and the girl that Levi is with should go and find a GOOD MAN that will take care of her and cherish their relationship...

^^ Ya. She should come on here and read this post.

THANKS HOME GIRL 50 for your kind advise.

Fist of all I am grown up! I work as a dental assisant, while attending school, and have my own place. And like I said love has no age. And just because I'm in this situation doesn't mean I'm being childish because so many "grown ups" are in the same place as me. This is not me being childish but maybe you can call me a selfish b****. And why can't you be nice about it and such not s. what has your spouse cheated on you and left you for the other girl?

fist of all i am grown up!

You may be "all grown up," but you are very immature.


i work as a dental assisant, while attending school, and have my own place.

And your point? You can still be immature and have all those things.


love has no age.

But true love shows maturity. You don't.


so many "grown ups" are in the same place as me.

That doesn't make it right. They are just as immature, irresponsible, and as selfish as you.


why can't you be nice about it

Why can't I be nice about it? Because it was a lowlife like you who took my ex husband away from me and innocence away from my children. Do you even realize the damage you are causing? No, of course you don't.

I know, I know, he isn't married, he doesn't have children. IT DOESN'T MATTER!! HE IS COMMITTED AND LIVING WITH THE WOMAN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

You are a homewrecker, plain and simple. One day you will realize that when your life comes crashing down on you. You can't see it now. You are only 19, you're a freaking baby just out there to have fun. Wait till you hit REAL LIFE!!

THANKS HOME GIRL 50 for your kind advise.
You're welcome. I hope you take it to heart and find someone who will be with only you, treat you like a lady and make you happy.

I am thanks a lot! I know what I'm doing is wrong! But I guess I'm going to let them be! But still countinue to be he's friend but that's it and I'll have NO sex with him.

Sorry to hear your sad story J_9
Don't blame the other girl, but your husband!
Or maybe it was you!! Or maybe it was meant to be things happen for a reason right? maybe you were suppose to be with someone else. Just maybe you'll find someone to like you. So that you can't stop being such a meanie!!

sorry to hear your sad story J_9
dont blame the other girl, but your husband!
or maybe it was you!!!! or maybe it was meant to be things happen for a reason right?.maybe you were supose to be with someone else. just maybe you'll find someone to like you. so that you can't stop being such a meanie!!!!!!

My story isn't sad. What is sad is the viscious woman who took my husband.

Maybe it was me? LMFAO!!

I was a very faithful wife and mother. It was a manipulative woman like you who took my ex away from me. Although I am better now for it as I see how he lives 16 years later and I would never stoop that low in my life.


just maybe you'll find someone to like you.

Found him 15 years ago and have 2 beautiful children by him. He would never stoop as low as Levi!!


so that you can't stop being such a meanie!!!!!!

Are you 19 or 9? Your language shows your childishness.

i am thanks alot! i know wut i'm doing is wrong! but i guess i'm going to let them be! but still countinue to be hes friend but thats it and i'll have NO sex with him.
Good girl. You just hang in there. Someone very good is going to come along and you don't want to be tied down with some "guy and his girl friend drama"
Give yourself time to heal from all you have gone through, then you will be ready for a healthy relationship. I wish you well

sorry to hear your sad story J_9
dont blame the other girl, but your husband!
or maybe it was you!!!! or maybe it was meant to be things happen for a reason right?.maybe you were supose to be with someone else. just maybe you'll find someone to like you. so that you can't stop being such a meanie!!!!!!


You have no concept of how much like a 12 year old you sound, do you?

Things happen for a reason, all right. Karma works.

It's just really too bad that we won't be there to see it when your Karma comes back and kicks your hoity-toity little rear end.

Get over yourself. If you really "loved" Levi, you'd want him happy, even if that was with someone else. What you WANT is the attention he gives you, and what makes you happy is the idea that a guy wants you more than the girl he is already with.

Can't you find a guy that's single, emotionally available, and not going to beat you? I think THAT is where real maturity is, honey.

I think she is going to turn her life around. For 19, she has been through a lot. I don't think you should compared her to some grown woman that destroyed another woman's marriage. All these people here are probably teens.
At any rate she is wrong, has said she is not going to be sexing this guy.
Give her a break.

That's good for you! I wish you the best for you and your new man. You can't say it was the other woman's fault but everyone's including you. Maybe you where lackin on you side? What did you let yourself go? Where you bad in bed? Or are you a nagging type? You must of done something wrong! Maybe this time you'll take care of your man. Okay sweetheart

Homegirl 50 disagrees: I'm sorry for what happened to you, but this young lady is just that, young and confused. She just got out of an abusive situation and needs help recouping.
I'm glad you are sorry for what happened to me. I'm not. I learned a very valuable lesson.

She got out of an abusive relationship and jumped right into another. Abuse does not have to be physical or verbal. She is assisting this boy in being abusive to another woman.

She is a homewrecker, plain and simple. She is happy to be one. Read the whole thread.

This is a girl who needs some help, more than we can give her here. So that she can learn just how damaging this can really be.

i am thanks alot! i know wut i'm doing is wrong! but i guess i'm going to let them be! but still countinue to be hes friend but thats it and i'll have NO sex with him.
Now you don't want to continue friendship with this guy. You two were having sex, not friendship. You two have a history, so don't you disrespect his girl friend by staying in the picture. Leave him completely alone.

oh my god your so freakin smart how you sum up my life!! You are like so right! So what's you new man number? Lol

I did read the whole thread. I see her as what she is, a young misguided mistreated young lady. I don't think she saw what she was doing as abusing and mistreating this other girl. When all you know is hurt, you tend not to see that you may be hurting someone else. I think she does now, at least I hope she does. I'd rather help her she see the error of her ways and change, than to see her get hurt by them.

thats good for you! i wish you the best for you and ur new man. you can't say it was the other womans fault but everyones including you. maybe you where lackin on you side? what did you let youself go? where you bad in bed? or are you a nagging type? you must of done something wrong! maybe this time you'll take care of your man. okay sweetheart

Hun, he's not my new man. I've had him for a long time and he realizes the value of a true relationship.

I CAN and WILL say it was the other woman's fault and my ex's fault, I was a good wife and he recognizes that now.

I was lackin? LMAO again. What did I do to let myself go? Nothing. Was I bad in bed? Nope, actually pretty damn good. Nagging type? Only when my husband did not come home till 2 in the morning when he should have been home at 9.

Why does it always turn around to the woman? Maybe it is homewreckers like you that entice the man who is a wanderer to begin with.

Karma baby, what comes around goes around!!

I have a beautiful home, wonderful children and make LOADS of money.

My ex and his ex sex toy, on the other hand, can't even afford to put food on the table.

What comes around goes around.

There is having patience with someone and trying to help them, and there's teachign a little kid the difference between right and wrong.

I don't know about YOU, but when *I* was 19, I didn't try to take someone else's man.

Young women like you, Kitty, are the reason I don't have very many female friends. The very attitude of "you should have been able to hold your man" instead of "I can't believe a woman would even THINK about doing that to you!" is very telling. No wonder women don't trust each other. Is the kind of respect you're giving OTHER women the kind you'd like given to you?

I didn't think so.

thats good for you! i wish you the best for you and ur new man. you can't say it was the other womans fault but everyones including you. maybe you where lackin on you side? what did you let youself go? where you bad in bed? or are you a nagging type? you must of done something wrong! maybe this time you'll take care of your man. okay sweetheart
Now don't be catty. A woman does not have to be doing anything wrong for a man to cheat. Just as a woman does not have to be doing anything wrong for a man to hit her. So be nice and have some repect. You don't make nasty comments like that. You may one day find yourself in her shoes.

Okay just believe your lies you didn't do anything wrong you perfect lol whatever makes you feel better. Man I'm having so much fun with you.



a*K*A homewrecker

Yeah, you are a little girl.

I don't have any woman friends for that exact reason. I only have a few good friends and that's all I need and of course my family.

okay sorry its just that miss J_9 is talking to much crap.
No she is not talking crap, she is showing you the other side of cheating. What pain cheaters inflict on a family. This is something you need to hear and let soak in. You don't want to be a person that destroys a family do you? And I know you don't want to be on the receiving end of this. See when a man decides to cheat, he has spotted fresh meat. He may have choice meat at home, but he is greedy and selfish and does not think about the pain he is causing. To blame the wife is a flimsy excuse that makes the bitter pill easier to swallow.
Now act like the mature young lady you are and accept good advice and counsel. Don't be a catty female, it is very unbecoming

I wonder why you don't have any women friends. They are all afraid that you will take their men.

As I said, what comes around goes around.

No... you don't have any women friends because they're afraid you'll make a play for their men.

The difference between you and J9 is that YOU and women like you are the reason that J9 and I and women like US don't trust many other women.

Everyone needs support, honey. You never know when someone you hurt will be in the position to offer you your dream--or deny it.

A woman does not deserve to be cheated on and she may not have done a thing to cause it, just as no woman deserves to be hit and didn't do a thing to cause it. Remember that the next time you decide to say something so foolish as "okay just believe your lies you didn't do anything wrong you perfect lol whatever makes you feel better. man I'm having so much fun with you." or "you must not have been a good wife"
Sisterhood is a powerful and wonderul thing. Let's move past this catty mess ladies.

No because my ex didn't let me have any friends or talk to my family that's why!

Okay sorry I guess I just don't want to hear the truth! And I truly feel sorry. But I'll take your advise. Thanks everyone.

Okay to tell you the truth I brought him back into my life because I was feeling lonely and depressed. And I'm starting to mess my freakin ex which I'm not suppose to.

Sisterhood and womanhood is powerful. We can do so much more for each other if we respect each other. Men will cause us to loose sight of that if we let them.
This young lady is basically a child that was into some stuff that children just should not be into.
Let's give advice, but also show her how women do things, how strong sisterhood is.
I wish this young lady nothing but the best. I don't want to see Karma come back and bite her. I want to see her learn and grow. I want to think that one day she will be able to tell another young lady something some wise older women told her.

Okay, so now, even though I sounded like a "meanie" you see that we are beginning to get to the bottom of this.

Yeah, I may have sounded like a B***H, but sometimes the truth hurts and sometimes the truth does not get across unless you are smacked in the face with it.

While I may have hurt your feelings, and that was not really my intention, You are hurting others by your actions, and that IS your intention.

okay to tell you the truth i brought him back into my life because i was feeling lonely and depressed. and i'm starting to mess my freakin ex which i'm not supose to.
Girl, you don't even want to go back there. You need to leave guys alone until you get your head on straight. You do not need to be in a situation where you are being beat down. You don't deserve that.
Do you have hobbys or interest?

Yea I do but lately I don't want to do anything but sleep and wait for another for miserable day in my life.

yea i do but lately i dont wanna do anything but sleep and wait for another for miserable day in my life.
Then I think what you need to do is go and talk to someone. It's sound like depression, and there is help for that.
Please get yourself some help.

But I thought you were so happy?!

You see where I am going with this? I'm not truing to be mean, it's a form of "tough love" if you will.

Sometimes the truth has to be presented in a way you don't see or understand.

This relationship, or the other one, is not at all healthy. Cheating is NOT healthy.

Why do you think it necessary to have a man in your life? You don't. Learn to be healthy in your own skin before you can have a healthy relationship.

I sounds to me that you have been depressed for quite some time. You are "happy" being the mistress because you think that is all that you deserve. I will let you in on a secret. Men will give what you expect. If you don't think you are worthy of a decent boyfriend and not a fling, you will never have a decent boyfriend. You should end the relationship with Levi. It is not healthy and even if he does break it off with the girl, you will never be able to totally trust him. Also, it seems that there is a root cause... something before 15 that is causing all of this depression and low self esteem in your life. I would recommend getting into counseling to uncover it. Let yourself heal from that uncovering before you go into another relationship. If you ever want to be truly happy, the past must be dealt with first. You can do it!

Also, don't be so nasty with others. We are here on our spare time... we don't get paid for this. The least you can do is show respect. If you actually take the time to let the advice from others soak in, you can learn a great deal.

We're not being mean...

We are trying to make you see what you are doing, maybe even trying to force you to see, if you will. We have no intentions of being mean to you, but you definitely need to look into the mirror at yourself and see the wrong you have caused, you are going to break someone's heart just to be with this man!! I KNOW that if you and him got together it would not last, because you would be jealous of every woman that walks by him. So if a man has a girl, LEAVE HIM ALONE! I mean seriously, act a little mature, I have a 12 year old cousin that I would prefer to talk to more than you, not because you are a liar and a cheater, but just pure intellect..

The girl said she is sorry. Give her a break. No point in beating a dead horse.

I'm not being mean, but seriously... Sorry doesn't usually cut it, I mean if a guy took someone I loved and came up to me and said he was sorry, I would probably beat his...

This is a disturbed young lady, not some guy cheating on his wife or girl friend. Did you not read her background, see where she came from? I know that does not give her license to do wrong, but she is coming around, give her a break.

Okay, I am sorry.. I see where you are coming from, I didn't read everything she posted but if you have problems, then we are getting somewhere other than you cheating.. So I am sorry about what I posted.

First of all let me tell you that you sound like you don't really have much going for yourself and maybe you should focus on yourself for awhile instead of chasing another girls boyfriend. I was just cheated on by my boyfriend. I live with him and have a baby with him. You have absolutely no respect, dignity, or morals to have cheated on your boyfriend and then helped and lied for the other guy to cheat on a nice girl just because you needed to feel the love of a man. I feel sorry for girls like you. Get your own boyfriend. You never had this guy. You had a boyfriend, he has a girlfriend. Get over it and move on. If he would help you cheat, then cheat on his current girlfriend, then he would cheat on you too and if you think I don't know what I'm talking about you are really nieve. There are plenty of single men out there for a girl to go after someone she knows is in a relationship is just selfish and make you look trashy. This girl that my boyfriend cheated on me did exactly what you are doing to this girl. My boyfriend started hanging out with her as friends from school and she liked him the whole time she made moves on him. When me and him were having problems she manipulated him and they started sleeping together. He let her, he slept with her too. He is just as much to blame for that. But when I confronted her they hadn't even had sex yet she was just going after him and he was being dumb saying I was worried for nothing. Then this other girl decided that being the other girl wasn't good enough for her cause if he really loved me he wouldn't have cheated right? Well, the fact is that isn't true. He does love me and he feels like he has made a mistake. When this girl decided this she started telling me that he was talking bad about me, she started texting me non stop just talking about me and trying to come between us. She would lie to him and tell him I was harassing her and he would talk to her still even after I found out about them sleeping together he continued it and she kept harassing me. Then when I finally had enough of her drama I told him, me or her, tell her now or I'm leaving, he chose me and she is still trying to get him to leave me. If he really wanted to be with you he would leave his girlfriend. He's using you just like you used him. You are nothing more than trash and you need to learn to love yourself before you expect someone to love you. Even if they aren't meant to be what business is it of yours to go and break them up. You should be ashamed of yourself and I feel really bad for this girl and if I knew who she was I'd write her and warn her about your dumb slutty ! Go get your own life and back your butt up out of this girls! You can never be her and you will never have him the way you want just simply because of how your relationship started. If it was truly meant to be with you and him it would have already happened. Get over yourself and find something better to do with your time like perhaps a job or school. Stop sleeping around because people like you have no business procreating. :mad: