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View Full Version : Why Would He Call Me Ugly ?


cyrenasworld
Oct 2, 2007, 11:19 AM
Hello.

Im going through yet ANOTHER hard time with my husband.To make a long story short,
We got into a very heated argument on Saturday morning and during all of the mud slinging, he called me and "ugly ", then said "I look like a troll" and I was "as ugly as they come". I have my good days and bad days, sometimes I feel ugly, sometimes I feel beautiful just like any other girl. Im not conceited in the least, as a matter of fact, I've struggled with low self esteem for years and have just gotten comfortable in my own skin over the past three or so years. I know that some people just fight dirty but I strongly believe that you shouldn't say things that you can't take back. There is no need to cut someone right to the bone every time you get into an argument. That's not my nature and I find it hard to understand how someone could say that and not mean it. If I call someone ugly, I MEAN it and I don't expect an apology to erase it... by the way.. he has not said he was sorry. :

Choux
Oct 2, 2007, 11:22 AM
Everyone is ugly when they are in a rage...

GypsyRoots
Oct 2, 2007, 11:23 AM
Hello.

Im going through yet ANOTHER hard time with my husband.To make a long story short,
we got into a very heated argument on Saturday morning and during all of the mud slinging, he called me and "ugly ", then said "I look like a troll" and I was "as ugly as they come". I have my good days and bad days, sometimes I feel ugly, sometimes I feel beautiful just like any other girl. Im not conceited in the least, as a matter of fact, i've struggled with low self esteem for years and have just gotten comfortable in my own skin over the past three or so years. I know that some poeple just fight dirty but I strongly believe that you shouldnt say things that you can't take back. There is no need to cut someone right to the bone every time you get into an arguement. That's not my nature and I find it hard to understand how someone could say that and not mean it. If I call someone ugly, I MEAN it and I dont expect an apology to erase it...by the way..he has not said he was sorry. :
Your hubby is being defensive.

He is lashing out at YOU because of his own inadequacy.

You know and I know you are not ugly, nor are you a troll. I stopped reading your post at that point, because I know it is not true.

He sounds as if he needs to evaluate himself, instead of criticizing YOU.

When people rage like this, there is a definite anger management problem, and don't forget self-loathing.

Does he also have the "Blaming Behavior" pattern? It is NEVER his fault, but yours, the dogs, always someone else is wrong, but never him.

He sounds as if he needs professional help, but would probably disagree with me.

Many prayers and God bless.

statictable
Oct 2, 2007, 10:46 PM
we got into a very heated argument on Saturday morning

It sounds as though you are able to remain passive in the heat of these arguments and you should be commended. It also sounds like your husband reaches the outer limits during these same arguments. This is in itself very strange behavior on his part. During your next argument (hope it's never) you should go outside and take a 15 minute walk while he unloads on a empty house and when you return everything will be fine. If you find any reason/s for his behavior please let us know. This could be very valuable information. Best wishes

Bizy
Oct 17, 2007, 02:52 AM
If you were ugly and looked like a troll he wouldn't have married you people when angry think of the most hurtful things to say and maybe he's a little insucure about his own looks so by putting yours down makes him feel better. If your happy with how you are don't worry about what any one else says or thinks and any way people should acept and respect you for who you are cause that's what makes you so special and uniqe.