I have lost my high paying job. I am not able to meet my financial obligations. I have the American Dream- House, Wife, Nice Car, etc. etc. and it is all going down the drain.

While this situation has evolved and occupied my every thought, I really got to see my wife's true colors. My wife is a good catch. But she has turned me into the enemy. And now that I have a minute to ponder, she was not the most pleasant person to be around during the good times. She was a when she was shopping her off at expensive stores and not the most fun person to be with on vacations. I do resent her for that. So why should I fight to keep what I have?

I say I want to fight for what I have, but inside I am confused. I do not have answers. I do want to keep what I have but I am worn down. The clock is ticking and I cannot stop the hands of time.

I have no clue what I am doing and I have no game plan. I have no money. I am phucked.

I would imagine it's very hard to keep a clear eye on the world, your wife and all that you have during this painful time. Your survival should be at the top of the list so please sit down with a Mental Health Professional and give yourself the chance to stand on both feet, yours not hers. In time you can deal with who your wife is and all the other stuff but for now it's your turn to get yourself back to who you are. Best wishes

Money is not the end all and be-all of the world. Count your blessing then make a plan. First, contact all your creditors immediately and explain the situation. Most will be willing to work out a plan with you, and even reduce or waive your interest for a little while as long as you are making the effort. Secondly, you need to market yourself and get another job ASAP... or even two.

As for your marital issues, you must understand that your financial problems (as well as the emotionally insecure way you are handling them) is probably scaring the beejeezus out of your wife! Do not allow your financial problems to tear you apart. Communicate, communicate, communicate!! Cry, express your fears and worries then recognize and talk about the good things! Remember, every closed door leads to an open door of opportunity. Your attitude will determine whether you lose it all. You made a commitment to your wife (as she did to you) in regards to the good times and bad. Honour that, implore her to help you to do so, and move through it together. Don't make any rash decisions at this point in your life.

Create a plan with your wife. Figure out ways to decrease your expenses and increase your income together. More than anything, watch your attitude. Of course you are depressed... and your wife is probably very worried about you. Draw on the love that brought you together for strength. A lot of people go through what you are. After my husband became ill (and died 5 months later) my income dropped from high to non-existent for 17 months! Then it 'increased' to less than $500 a month. I was raising a special needs adopted daughter. We lost our home. But I didn't let it get me down!

More than anything, though, you need a plan. So, have an honest heart to heart with your wift and go through this together. Even if you decide that she is not what you want in the long run - right now you need her. Take baby steps to get on track. You are overwhelmed, so need them to be small steps. If you continue to be overwhelmed make them smaller.

If you are totally overwhelmed, make sure you have emotional support in the form of a therapist, counselor, minister or physician.

Good luck! Now, go take that first step...

Hugs, Didi