Im 22 years old and have been with my boyfriend(he's 27) for over 5 years, we have a 2 year old together. A little over a month ago, I said I didn't think we needed to be together anymore because we love each other, but it's not the way it was, it's more like friends. The problem is he still lives with me, and I still have very strong feelings for him, he's supposed to be saving to get his own place. But I find evidence that he's been with other women, like notes and him staying out all night at a girls house, and other things that he leaves laying around, little gifts, etc. I've told him this upsets me so much, but he doesn't understand, because we've broken up. I keep telling him if he's going to do these things he needs to hurry and leave, so I can get over him, but with him here it's so hard. Then he sometimes acts like he wants to be with me, tries to cuddle, have sex etc, and doesn't understand why I don't want to...
What should I do, how can I get him to leave or change his ways so he is more considerate of my feelings...

Hi,
You are being "walked on", taken for granted, and letting someone live with you who doesn't really care for you.
Change your life, tell him to move out. If that doesn't work, go talk with the police, a Magistrate, of a Clerk of a Court.
They can advise you on how, legally, to get rid of him.
Move on with your life.
I wish you the best,
fredg

Why did u break up with him if you still have feelings for him?

Johnno, women break up with men that they still have feelings for all of the time, I may love my man until the end of time but if he is not treating me right and I am unhappy in the relationship, and we are not growing together then, the right thing to do would be to end the relationship.
Foxymoongoddess, Your man loves you, I would be lying if I said I didn't think that he did. He is experiencing what most men do around his age, stupidity! Right now @ this point in time, he has the best of both worlds, he has his family, his woman, and his security, all under the same roof... commitment free! Yet still, he considers himself to be a single man, to go out and do whatever it is that he wants to do without any regards or consequenses. This is the part that is up to you and up to you only to change. I hate to say this but you are dreaming if you think this man has any plans of packing up and leaving... ha! He's not going anywhere, not unless he knows that he can leave and still be able to come back home when he wants.Which he will do, if you allow him. He is using the "we are broke up" situation to his advantage. I don't think he would understand it if it were you that was seeing other people!
I have been through this trust me on it please... he has to grow up, he has to know what it is like being without you, and you have to step aside and let him do this... WITHOUT YOU AND HIS DAUGHTER THERE! Dig really really deep and if it is possible for you and your child to leave, then do that. But don't spend another minute with this man while he is living la vida loco! Do not run back and forth to him, my definition of breaking up is, having ALL the luxuries of being in a relationship with me GONE. Which in his case, they are not. He has to know that you mean business and he has to know that you have had ENOUGH. Otherwise, you have a long way to go with him and he will not stop doing what he is doing any time soon.
Best of luck!

The two of you have been together for over 5 years and have a child together. You belong with each other, hands down, until death do ye part and those formailities should have been attended to as well, years ago. Even if you have been the primary breadwinner thus far, that's how it happens sometimes. Confront him as to why he's been seeing these other women. It's almost as though he wants to get "caught" by you. Chances are it's because he's been feeling ignored by you. Telling him that you "want to break up" may also be sending him the message that you don't care anymore, so in his mind why shouldn't he go and get it somewhere else? The best way to get rid of a man is to become indifferent to him and refuse to be intimate with him. Stay together and give him the kind of intimacy he wants to keep him happy, on the condition that he stops seeing other women and makes you his one and only. Reassure him that you'll do likewise for him. That should cure him of his desire to pursue other women. If it doesn't and you've done everything in your power to make him happy (within reason, of course), then and only then should you split up and throw him out of your house. If it does come to that, be firm and decisive but be prepared to recognize his paternal rights where your child is concerned.

You are living in what I like to call "Man Land" If he is feeling ignored by his woman, would you or would you not say the adult thing to do about this is to TALK about it?
This man is taking full advantage of his situation... end of the disscussion!

Yes, they do belong together, and I do sincerely believe that, but, she has to take a stand for herself and stop letting this guy walk all over her, her heart, and her feelings.

If it takes for her to leave him alone for a while so he can get a sample of the grass that is on the other side and compare it to what he has had all along, I believe that he will find out sooner than later what a terrible mistake that he has made and come crawling back... because that is exactly what men always do.

Her situation will not get any better unless she lets this guy know that under no uncertain terms will she continue to take his crap. Take into consideration his age 27... I am willing to bet that he is torn between his family and the single life and will continue to do both until it is put to a stop.

On the other hand, foxy, you need to make absolutely sure that you want to put this relationship on ice for a while before you make any decisions that you could regret.
Best of luck