PDA

View Full Version : When kids cry


leemia
Sep 26, 2007, 08:01 AM
I need someone to tell me what to do. My kids see their granma once a month cause she lives so far,this weekn I'm going to take my kids to her house but they don't want to go and she gives them what ever they want my kids are 3yr old the other is 5yrs old.and is to stay from firday to Sunday.so what should I do take them and tell them mommy is coming on Sunday and just leave when granma takes them to the rm or what .

Moomin
Sep 26, 2007, 08:06 AM
Before I begin I am not a mother but...
I would say tell them you are coming back on Sunday. I think they will be very anxious if you left them without telling them!

I personally think a good way to tell children is say 'It'll be two sleeps and then I'll be back'?

Good luck!

cjonline
Sep 26, 2007, 08:27 AM
How bad do they not want to go? Like screaming and yelling I don't want to go, or a passing in conversation they want to stay home this time?

Why do you take them and leave them there and come back? Is that new or have you always done that? I wouldn't leave my kids at that age for the weekend unless I was forced to but everyone's different. If you have always done this, what has changed? Have you asked why they don't want to go? I know they are young but I bet they would tell you a reason.

leemia
Sep 26, 2007, 02:08 PM
There granma is dying and she wants to spend some time with them,only 2months ago they stat it staying over there.my 3yr old loves it over there now she does everything her bother does if he say thie she say this, she does eveything like him.I mean everything so is not really her is my 5yr old,so what should I do and how should I handle this situation.and I ask him why dose'nt he want to go he say he just wants to stay home.so what should I do.

cjonline
Sep 26, 2007, 02:53 PM
It could be lots of things. Maybe your 5yr old doesn't want to have the little one tagging after him and while he is there, its move likely worse that normal, that would cause me to want to stay home no matter how wonderful the place was. Maybe it just being there and you aren't. When my oldest son was 5 he wouldn't stay anywhere unless I was with him.

My gut says to tell you, you should just go for the day or stay one night, but stay with them. If that's not something you can/want to do then maybe leave one this month and the other next month. That might be best for all. Granma gets one on one with each child and so do you.

I hate to ask but if the woman is sick should she be taking care of two very small kids all weekend? Its not a questions of if she wants to, but should she. Is she on meds, can she still drive, there are lots of questions but I'm sure that you already asked them.

I wouldn't force my child to do anything like this. Only forcing them makes things ten times worse for everyone and with Granma being sick I'm sure that the last thing she needs is a tantrum from a 5yr old and the stress of him not wanting to be there.

Good luck.

leemia
Sep 26, 2007, 03:35 PM
Yes your right cjonline,I did ask all those question the problem is one dosen't go anywere with out the other,I don't know what to do me and my mrother in law we don't see eye to eye,that's the thing they are real close to me.I have so much to do this wkn I have to paint the apartment and the list go onand on is drving me crazy thinking about this.

firmbeliever
Sep 27, 2007, 05:37 AM
It could be lots of things. Maybe your 5yr old doesn't want to have the little one tagging after him and while he is there, its move likely worse that normal, that would cause me to want to stay home no matter how wonderful the place was. Maybe it just being there and you aren't. When my oldest son was 5 he wouldn't stay anywhere unless I was with him.

My gut says to tell you, you should just go for the day or stay one night, but stay with them. if thats not something you can/want to do then maybe leave one this month and the other next month. That might be best for all. Granma gets one on one with each child and so do you.

I hate to ask but if the woman is sick should she be taking care of two very small kids all weekend? Its not a questions of if she wants to, but should she. Is she on meds, can she still drive, there are lots of questions but I'm sure that you already asked them.

I wouldn't force my child to do anything like this. Only forcing them makes things ten times worse for everyone and with Granma being sick I'm sure that the last thing she needs is a tantrum from a 5yr old and the stress of him not wanting to be there.

Good luck.

I agree with the above post.

And I would also advise on telling your 5 year old that Granmas not well and that she feels sad and needs their company because it cheers her up.
It might make him see the visit differently.

As for the younger one, why not get her some toys/books for her to have while at grandmas so that it does not bother the older one to have her around.