PDA

View Full Version : Caught In The Middle!


backtoyoubabe0715
Sep 21, 2007, 08:37 PM
Last year I befriended two people who were dating. I met them at the same time, and spent time with all of them fairly equally. Over the past year, they've been having relationship problems, but whenever they fight, the guy in the relationship puts us in the middle of their arguments. Before, it was troublesome and fustrating, but usually they'd make up and we'd all be friends again.
Recently, my girl friend has not been happy in the relationship, and has tried to break up with him several times, only with him promising to be better. So she ended up staying with him, fearing the repercussions if she broke up with him. Recently, she cheated on him with my roommate's brother. They started talking to each other on the phone, and today my guy friend found some incriminating text messages on her phone. He got upset, and called us disloyal friends for not telling him.
I told him it wasn't my place to tell him that my girl friend cheated and wasn't in love with him anyone. He told me as his friend, it was my place. Now he's upset and doesn't want to be friends with my roommate anymore. Was I right or was I wrong? And how can I get him to understand how difficult of a situation he puts me in all the time?

lexmsmusic07
Sep 22, 2007, 07:15 AM
Last year I befriended two people who were dating. I met them at the same time, and spent time with all of them fairly equally. Over the past year, they've been having relationship problems, but whenever they fight, the guy in the relationship puts us in the middle of their arguments. Before, it was troublesome and fustrating, but usually they'd make up and we'd all be friends again.
Recently, my girl friend has not been happy in the relationship, and has tried to break up with him several times, only with him promising to be better. So she ended up staying with him, fearing the repercussions if she broke up with him. Recently, she cheated on him with my roommate's brother. They started talking to each other on the phone, and today my guy friend found some incriminating text messages on her phone. He got upset, and called us disloyal friends for not telling him.
I told him it wasn't my place to tell him that my girl friend cheated and wasn't in love with him anyone. He told me as his friend, it was my place. Now he's upset and doesn't want to be friends with my roommate anymore. Was I right or was I wrong? And how can I get him to understand how difficult of a situation he puts me in all the time?
You were right, and you handled the situation better than most would. If he is your friend and understanding have him turn the situation completely around and ask him what he would have done? This may take a few tries for him because he is so upset... but you may agree in the end or come to some sort of understanding. If you would have handled the situation the same again- tell him. If he hadn't understood why you had done it when he flipped it around on him, let him know that next time you want no part of it- or else- you already let him know you're going to plead the 5th :)