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blondie_1019
Sep 11, 2007, 07:50 PM
I am in need of some help. I am getting married next year and therefore I have began to plan everything. Everything seems to be going really smooth, except one thing. When the subject comes up about "who is giving the bride away" it gets really touchy. My parents got divorced when I was about three years old and my father moved to another state. It was always just me and my mom until I was about ten she remarried. My stepfather and I have always gotten along very well and I thank God everyday for him. However, my biological father moved back home about three years ago. It's been a slow day to day process but we do speak and get along with one another. Anyway. Now that I am getting married I'm wandering if he should be the one to walk me down the isle. He wasn't a part of my life for twenty years and for the last three he has so does that mean he should get the honor of giving me away? It's a very touchy subject with my mother and some close relatives, yet I don't want to hurt my mother's feeling by letting him step in give me away, but I don't want to hurt my father's either by not letting him. I am so confused.. what should I do?

AKaeTrue
Sep 11, 2007, 07:56 PM
Sweetie, my sister and I came from the same situation you have.
My brother walked me down the isle and my step father walked my sister down the isle.
It's your personal choice, but consider who was a bigger part of your life and that's the person who should have the honor... because that's what it is, an honor to walk you down the isle.
Your real father should understand that, mine did.
Congrats on getting married and remember, it's your day, so make the choice that suits you best.

LearningAsIGo
Sep 12, 2007, 07:37 AM
Its hard, I know.
Try for a moment to picture your wedding. Don't think about anyone else's feelings, but your own. Who do YOU see walking you down the aisle?

The fact is, its your day and you can't make everyone happy. Someone will hate your dress, someone will hate the song, someone will hate your groom's shoes. But EVERYONE will be there because they love the two of you and are happy to see you get married. Its your choice and its an important one, so only you can decide. You have to be the happy one walking down that aisle, and when that day comes all this stuff will float away and everyone will be smiling. :)

tarapaige
Sep 20, 2007, 01:54 PM
If they both mean a lot to you and both deserve to walk you down the isle then you could always have both of them do it. Just make sure the aisle is wide enough for three people standing side by side. One of them on each side of you!

RubyPitbull
Sep 20, 2007, 05:56 PM
Blondie, weddings always upset someone. Forget about your mother for a moment. Have you spoken with your step-father about this? In your gut, do you think he would be hurt if you ask your biological father? If so, you owe the honor to the man who raised you. Honey, remember there are two special honors for a father during a wedding. One is to walk the bride down the aisle, the other is having the father-daughter dance at the reception. Talk to your biological father and be honest with him about how you feel. You can always have that dance with him. Both the walking down the aisle & the dance are special moments for a father and daughter. I would be surprised if your biological father would expect you to choose him to wak down the aisle with him, considering he has only recently reentered your life.

Of course, the deciding factor might also be... who is paying for the wedding? If your Mother & Stepfather are the ones paying for this, it should be a no brainer.