thadevilsadvocate
Sep 11, 2007, 06:31 PM
After having read many, many, many posts, I go to thinking a little bit about the advice that we all give to others.
We only know of their situation, what THEY write. We don't know the characterstics, mannerisms or personalities of the ex-girlfriend/ex-boyfriend, who just left them or screwed them over, or is just being shady overall.
In many instances, we advise people to enforce No Contact. Although it has proven for years now, to be a good way of approaching the situation, is it possible that we are doing harm by giving this strong advice? For instance, many people find that their ex's try to come back to them for sex, or advice, or various other reasons, and we have guided these people to stay No Contact in these situations. When the ex-girlfriend/ex-boyfriend writes an email, or sends a letter, or text messages. We tell the person, not to respond, and to ignore it, because if their ex really cared about them, then they would show up at their door or at least make a phone call, rather than using the outlet of the wireless world to contact them. But what if the ex isn't very emotional or never really dealt with a situation like this before, and by sending an email, to them, this is the equivalent of making that phone call or showing up at the door?
We view the email as a half-a$$ attempt to make contact, or as just part of their game, and figure that if they really cared about you, then they would show up at the door or make a phone call. But what if that isn't the way the ex would handle things? At this point, is our advice not causing someone to miss an opportunity? Or, do we still stand by the fact that, no matter how the ex's communication skills are, if they REALLY do care, that they will do whatever it takes to get back in contact with you?
I just get the feeling sometimes, when I read some of the posts, that perhaps we are causing some people to miss out on the opportunity to capitalize on a given situation. Usually I agree with most of the advice given on here, but just a thought that I figured I would bring up and see what people's opinions are.
So what's your opinion?
We only know of their situation, what THEY write. We don't know the characterstics, mannerisms or personalities of the ex-girlfriend/ex-boyfriend, who just left them or screwed them over, or is just being shady overall.
In many instances, we advise people to enforce No Contact. Although it has proven for years now, to be a good way of approaching the situation, is it possible that we are doing harm by giving this strong advice? For instance, many people find that their ex's try to come back to them for sex, or advice, or various other reasons, and we have guided these people to stay No Contact in these situations. When the ex-girlfriend/ex-boyfriend writes an email, or sends a letter, or text messages. We tell the person, not to respond, and to ignore it, because if their ex really cared about them, then they would show up at their door or at least make a phone call, rather than using the outlet of the wireless world to contact them. But what if the ex isn't very emotional or never really dealt with a situation like this before, and by sending an email, to them, this is the equivalent of making that phone call or showing up at the door?
We view the email as a half-a$$ attempt to make contact, or as just part of their game, and figure that if they really cared about you, then they would show up at the door or make a phone call. But what if that isn't the way the ex would handle things? At this point, is our advice not causing someone to miss an opportunity? Or, do we still stand by the fact that, no matter how the ex's communication skills are, if they REALLY do care, that they will do whatever it takes to get back in contact with you?
I just get the feeling sometimes, when I read some of the posts, that perhaps we are causing some people to miss out on the opportunity to capitalize on a given situation. Usually I agree with most of the advice given on here, but just a thought that I figured I would bring up and see what people's opinions are.
So what's your opinion?