BANISH
Sep 10, 2007, 03:25 AM
I'm not a pill popper, I'm not suicidal, I'm not a negative person..
But lately I've turned into.. someone who inside, myself.. I think I'm going crazy and that sad part is.. I'm aware of this.. I've had nervous break downs due to stress even though I can see that other people have more and worse problems than I do.. but that's when I don't care because I don't live their lives.. I live mine so mine our the only ones I can care or do anything about..
On 9/9/07 I took 4 and 4 sudafed I didn't know how to feel after the effects kicked in. but for some reason I liked it.. I liked feeling.. like there's no need to give a care in the world about anything.. I stopped drinking alcohol and smoking weed, there's no point to any of those..
I don't become addicted to anything I must have to strongest case of will power known to man.. I'm well aware of everything that I do..
But there's and end to everything.. and my end is not knowing what to do next.. I don't even really know what I'm asking for.. I hate almost everyone stuffed in my life.. I trust no one.. not even myself.. believe nothing.. and I don't believe in god or religion or.. pretty much anything.. I use to love trance and screamo type music.. bands suck as from first to last and circa survive and saosin.. but now I can't stop listening to coldplay, lifehoue, audioslave, or joseph aurthur.. but the songs make me fee good.. in a sad way..
I'm an actor, and not in a metephorical sense.. in a literal one.. I do movies and commercials.. some of you who know who I am if you seen me.. my point being.. I love the feel of a movie, like my life is a movie.. having those perfect times with the perfect song in the background.. lately I've loved the way its been in an emotional way.. what's wrong with me.. why have I become this way..
Please help me..
But lately I've turned into.. someone who inside, myself.. I think I'm going crazy and that sad part is.. I'm aware of this.. I've had nervous break downs due to stress even though I can see that other people have more and worse problems than I do.. but that's when I don't care because I don't live their lives.. I live mine so mine our the only ones I can care or do anything about..
On 9/9/07 I took 4 and 4 sudafed I didn't know how to feel after the effects kicked in. but for some reason I liked it.. I liked feeling.. like there's no need to give a care in the world about anything.. I stopped drinking alcohol and smoking weed, there's no point to any of those..
I don't become addicted to anything I must have to strongest case of will power known to man.. I'm well aware of everything that I do..
But there's and end to everything.. and my end is not knowing what to do next.. I don't even really know what I'm asking for.. I hate almost everyone stuffed in my life.. I trust no one.. not even myself.. believe nothing.. and I don't believe in god or religion or.. pretty much anything.. I use to love trance and screamo type music.. bands suck as from first to last and circa survive and saosin.. but now I can't stop listening to coldplay, lifehoue, audioslave, or joseph aurthur.. but the songs make me fee good.. in a sad way..
I'm an actor, and not in a metephorical sense.. in a literal one.. I do movies and commercials.. some of you who know who I am if you seen me.. my point being.. I love the feel of a movie, like my life is a movie.. having those perfect times with the perfect song in the background.. lately I've loved the way its been in an emotional way.. what's wrong with me.. why have I become this way..
Please help me..