Over the past year or so I've found myself having at least one drink a day. I enjoyed having a glass of wine or a beer with dinner or later on in the evening. Well, slowly, the number of drinks have increased and I can't seem to stop. I have one drink, and it feels so good to have that warm feeling that I find myself reaching for another... and another. I don't usually get super drunk, but I like to have that buzzed feeling.

I'm afraid now, though, because I've tried to cut down. If there's any alcohol in the house (there almost always is), I will drink it even though I promise myself to take a break. Then I will promise myself just to have one drink, only to have more. I've taken the 'do you think you're an alcoholic' tests on the internet and failed. I'm afraid of what this could be doing to my body. I'm afraid of it getting worse. I just want some tips or ideas on how to stop or control my drinking.

Take control of your life and join Alcoholics Anonymous. You are jeopardizing your health. You could be destroying your liver and you only have one of them, you could have heart disease, diabetes and if you smoke, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (known quite commonly these days as COPD). It will get worse, no doubt about it, but why tell us, tell someone you love who needs you around for the next few years. Do you have children? Okay, tell one of them.

YOU can't CONTROL, YOU CAN ONLY STOP AND NEVER HAVE ANOTHER DRINK AS LONG AS YOU LIVE.

take control of your life and join Alcoholics Anonymous. You are jeopardizing your health. You could be destroying your liver and you only have one of them, you could have heart disease, diabetes and if you smoke, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (known quite commonly these days as COPD). It will get worse, no doubt about it, but why tell us, tell someone you love who needs you around for the next few years. Do you have children? Okay, tell one of them.

YOU can't CONTROL, YOU CAN ONLY STOP AND NEVER HAVE ANOTHER DRINK AS LONG AS YOU LIVE.

Thanks for your reply. I don't smoke, am 39 years old, and in good physical condition. Is there any way of helping myself without going to AA? I know that may seem dumb to you but I'm a private person and I guess I'm too embarrassed to go to an AA meeting. My kids are young... too young to help me. I think my husband is in denial because I've spoken to him before about my fears of drinking too much alcohol and he continues to bring it home. He seems to be able to control how much he drinks and I guess he doesn't want to stop drinking all together because of my 'problem'.

One of you has to take the initiative. I have lived with this problem and I know it has to be conquered. NO LIQUOR IN THE HOUSE ABSOLUTELY.

Make a call to your local chapter, or not so local chapter; it is as it says, anonymous and you will meet people in varying degrees of your problem and hear how they are dealing with it with the help of experts. Please try for your family's sake.

First it is a matter of really wanting to. First get all of it out of the house. PERIOD, get rid of it. Next if you can't stop on your own, got o AAA, go to professional counseling anything you can do.

I'm on a different page...
You've done the more difficult part: You've acknowledged to yourself your concerned, and perhaps as equally important, you've "confessed' to us.
From here, it's as up to YOU as anything. Joining a group will help... if you go. Kind of like joining a gym and not going.
I do wish your husband was more understanding. I didn't realize my problem until I saw how my wife, and my life, was being affected by it.

That being said, you will be confronted with this kind of temptation your entire life. It's up to you to determine how strong you and your will are, as opposed to how strong YOU feel the bottle pulls.
We are all capable of tremendous things. You are of free will, or you wouldn't have written the words you've put here. Like I said, you've seen the difference.
Now, become the strength that is within you. I'll be here.

Thank you all so much for your input - it really means a lot to me. I know that I keep trying to deny that I have a problem with alcohol, but it's getter hard to ignore. I've heard a lot of the 'rock bottom' stories and I don't want to go down that road before I clean up my act.

I'm going to have another talk with my husband and I will personally remove all the alcohol from the house myself. I hope that will be enough to keep me away from drinking. If that fails, I'll take your advice and go to AA and see what they have to offer.

It's sort of funny... I had a boyfriend in my early 20's that was an alcoholic and I totally didn't 'get' it - how could someone want to drink so much? Booze just made me sleepy at that point in my life and so I didn't understand how a person could become addicted to it. My Dad is an alcoholic and some call it a disease... maybe it is, I don't know. Thanks again.

I did it. I spoke to my husband this morning and told him that I'm getting rid of all the booze in the house. He looked at me sort of funny and asked what for? What for? Yesterday I started the day with 2 beer. Then ended the night with the 1/2 bottle of wine and another beer. Talk about head in the sand!

So officially, it's Day 1. Wish me luck. I can do this.

I can do this.Hello G:

Yes you can. The cool thing about AA, is that you have a sponsor who you can call when you're feeling like one sip wouldn't hurt. The anonymous thing works too. If you can do it by yourself, then go for it. But, there's help available if you can't. You don't need to be soooo strong.

excon

G -- I married into a family of alcoholics (they hid it well unfortunately... ), so you have my best wishes and prayers for success as you head toward sobriety. I strongly encourage you to go to AA and stick with them. You will make many friends and have a strong support system. Let us here be on your team too.

My hat's off to you for admitting to yourself that you have a problem and taking concrete steps to deal with it. But like excon says, you don't have to do it without help. Actually, getting help is the fun part of it, so don't deny yourself that.

... Day 2...

I thought about it a lot, but I got through day 1 with no drink...

I'm trying to drink lots of water and had a couple cups of decaf herbal tea. I don't know too much about body cleanses but I may look into that. I don't want to go crazy with too much stuff right now - but if anyone has suggestions, I'd certainly be open. I won't be quitting my morning coffee just yet!

What are the physical symptoms of quitting drinking? I haven't experienced anything so far except I'm feeling figity and restless. Maybe I'm more pyschologically addicted than physically addicted?

... Day 2 ...

I thought about it a lot, but I got through day 1 with no drink ...

I'm trying to drink lots of water and had a couple cups of decaf herbal tea. I don't know too much about body cleanses but I may look into that. I don't want to go crazy with too much stuff right now - but if anyone has suggestions, I'd certainly be open. I won't be quitting my morning coffee just yet!

What are the physical symptoms of quitting drinking? I haven't experienced anything so far except I'm feeling figity and restless. Maybe I'm more pyschologically addicted than physically addicted?
I'm not going to take your coffee! :eek:

Lotsa fluids. Depending on how your level of "intake" was before you may or may not have significant symptoms. Hopefully.. Restless and fidgity is not uncommon.

Consider involving yourself in a new hobby or crafts. Take in a movie or museum... anywhere that doesn't have drinking as an immediate option.

.

cheers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, cheers buddy.

Anyhow... Day 3. I had a great workout this morning. I was feeling really strong. We're having company for dinner tonight and my husband said, "I AM going to bring beer home tonight". Huh? I told him if he wanted beer he could go OUT and drink it but DO NOT bring it into our house! To be fair, I guess I haven't told him outright that I'm an (??) alcoholic (??) because I don't want to label myself as such. I just told him that it's obvious that I can't control myself and will drink (all of) it if it's in the house so I need his support in this. He agreed to this, so I'm lucky to have some support. But then he said, "Not even any wine with dinner?" I said OK. Why should everyone else suffer because of me? I understand his standpoint... I'd hate to have to give up having an occaisional beer if my partner had a problem... but if he had a problem it wouldn't be that much to give up. So, I don't plan on having any wine... this is real life :(

I said it before and I'll say it again, you're going to have to face temptation neaerly every day. Maintain your resolve. You're doing fine!

Over the past year or so I've found myself having at least one drink a day. I enjoyed having a glass of wine or a beer with dinner or later on in the evening. Well, slowly, the number of drinks have increased and I can't seem to stop. I have one drink, and it feels so good to have that warm feeling that I find myself reaching for another ... and another. I don't usually get super drunk, but I like to have that buzzed feeling.

I'm afraid now, though, because I've tried to cut down. If there's any alcohol in the house (there almost always is), I will drink it even though I promise myself to take a break. Then I will promise myself just to have one drink, only to have more. I've taken the 'do you think you're an alcoholic' tests on the internet and failed. I'm afraid of what this could be doing to my body. I'm afraid of it getting worse. I just want some tips or ideas on how to stop or control my drinking.
Hypnosis is very powerful. There are cd's by Wendi Friesen to stop alcoholism on her site:

Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy (http://www.wendi.com/)

I am a hypnotist myself and greatly aware of its power. A great hypnotist is a dream ally.

And here is the specific link to the cd's:

Quit Drinking with Hypnosis, Alcohol Freedom!!! (http://wendi.com/alcohol/)

I don't know if they have an online AA, but you could try to find one. I quit drinking on my own, so I know it can be done. I hit rock bottom in a soppy, drunken state, just before passing out, and knowing how I'd feel the next day. I cried out for help. If there is a God, and you are there, help me, I don't want to do this any more. I admitted that I was helpless to beer, it controlled my life, and I wanted my life back.
Stick with it, one day at a time, just get through the day, hour, or minute. Sidetrack yourself with cleaning, cooking or something you love to do. The minute will pass, so will the hour and the day. The days will get better, then weeks, then months before you know it you will think about drinking less and less.
My one regret is that I wish I'd done it sooner, before my children grew up. I look back now and can't remember some of my son's childhood.

Here:

aaonline.net--Realtime Open AA Meetings on the Internet (http://www.aaonline.net/)

Here it is day 7 and I'm feeling pretty good. Last night my husband and I went to a party where EVERYONE was drinking. I went and bought some non-alcoholic cider that looks like real cider so no-one hassled me about not drinking. It really was OK - but just OK. Some of the people were talking about their drink of choice... wine, beer, whatever. I just couldn't help thinking that it's such a drag that I can't have an occaissional glass of wine or beer. I can appreciate a fine wine with dinner or a cold beer on a hot day... why do I have to ruin that for myself?

Thanks, Captain, for the link to the online AA site. I did 'attend' two meetings, but they were painful. The 'speakers' were very slow typers and you just sit there listening to what seem like very rough people (I don't mean to generalize... but that's how they seemed to me) talking about their pathetic lives and how much they've lost because they drink too much. One person made everyone sit there for at least 20 minutes patiently reading her complaints and grievances towards her family (blah blah blah) and then promptly logged off when she was done - it made me so mad that everyone let this person monopolize all that time and then he/she couldn't be bothered to extend the same courtesy towards others. Well, perhaps I can use these people's life stories as an example and not go through those same experiences... but it's really hard to relate to people like that. And honestly, I don't even want to.

So I'm wondering now if I couldn't just take the month of September 'off' from drinking and re-evaluate and set some concrete boundaries for myself. I'm not having a real difficult time not drinking. I still think it would be nice in the evening to have a glass of wine or a beer, but since it's not here and I've resolved not to drink, I'm OK. Do you think all this talk is just my way of justify drinking again? Am I fooling myself? Can't I just try to set my boundaries and stick with them?

Do you think all this talk is just my way of justify drinking again? Am I fooling myself? Can't I just try to set my boundaries and stick with them?
Only you know the answers to these questions, and even you may not know yet. Alcohol is different things to different people. For some people, it's such a potent poison that even one drink every ten years is one too many. For others, it's not that toxic maybe, but extremely dangerous nonetheless. For others, it's just one of life's simple pleasures. Once you know what it is to you, act accordingly, that's all. Self-delusion is easy, so ruthless honesty with yourself is your first line of defense.

So I'm wondering now if I couldn't just take the month of September 'off' from drinking and re-evaluate and set some concrete boundaries for myself. I'm not having a real difficult time not drinking. I still think it would be nice in the evening to have a glass of wine or a beer, but since it's not here and I've resolved not to drink, I'm ok. Do you think all this talk is just my way of justify drinking again? Am I fooling myself? Can't I just try to set my boundaries and stick with them?
You need to be careful... you have done great so far.

When someone hassles you about not drinking in a social situation, tell them you have your own remedy, and leave it at that, and make your way away.

I'm sorry the online thing didn't work. Reading isn't the same as being there. That's for sure. If you can set a goal for the month of September, you may find , hey, I've done this and survived. Why try dabbling back into something that can bring me down? Way down.

The longer you hold out, the more natural it will be! Hang tough!

Thanks Captain... I'll continue with my plan for September and re-evaluate then. I do feel better lately not waking up every night having to drink water and so on, so right now not drinking is the best thing for me. It was only after that party that I felt bummed out that I can't have a drink. But I can't stay away from my friends forever. Some of my friends do drink more than others, but no one seems to have a drinking problem (that I know of). Anyhow, thanks for your support and kind words. It is motivating for me.

The problem is frequently kept secret.

There are many ways to hide addictions like alcohol.

I'm glad to see you being strong!

Remember the longer you go, the better and easier it is.

10 days... and counting...

Well, things are still going all right. I still find myself figity, but the headaches are gone. I'm a little worried about this weekend - we're going out of town to visit family and most of them are (social) drinkers. I feel very little temptation until I have to be around it. It's all right, I won't bust - just sucks to deny myself when I want to self-gratify. I think I have an addictive personality - but I don't really know what that is! :)

Hoo-Raaah! 10 Days and going good!

Get something to carry instead... I like the apple juice thing! Just remember, they aren't in control of you... YOU are! Keep smiling and stay strong!

I am so happy for you Going Down,
You have your own anonymous group for you to share and people to cheer you on right here at AMHD :).

And about your friends not having a drinking problem, wait until they are ageing and find out all that is wrong with too much alcohol and they will see problems.
Now you, you have chosen to stop for yourself and that takes courage,we are so proud of you for making that choice for whatever reason.

I am so happy for you Going Down,
you have your own anonymous group for you to share and people to cheer you on right here at AMHD :).

And about your friends not having a drinking problem, wait until they are ageing and find out all that is wrong with too much alcohol and they will see problems.
Now you, you have chosen to stop for yourself and that takes courage,we are so proud of you for making that choice for whatever reason.
See there! Strength in numbers!

Over the past year or so I've found myself having at least one drink a day. I enjoyed having a glass of wine or a beer with dinner or later on in the evening. Well, slowly, the number of drinks have increased and I can't seem to stop. I have one drink, and it feels so good to have that warm feeling that I find myself reaching for another ... and another. I don't usually get super drunk, but I like to have that buzzed feeling.

I'm afraid now, though, because I've tried to cut down. If there's any alcohol in the house (there almost always is), I will drink it even though I promise myself to take a break. Then I will promise myself just to have one drink, only to have more. I've taken the 'do you think you're an alcoholic' tests on the internet and failed. I'm afraid of what this could be doing to my body. I'm afraid of it getting worse. I just want some tips or ideas on how to stop or control my drinking.
G, I wish you the best of luck... I myself like you started with the one drink a day,then lead to 2,3,4, and before I knew it a 6 or more. I lost my husband in "00" then found myself drinking myself to death. I became very sick in "05" I had pancreatitus and did not know it so I then found myself drinking and taking presciption pain pills to get rid of the pain. Please please stop before you damage your body,life,soul your family you have a lot to loose so please remember that. I wish you the best of luck and praying never hurt anyone!

AGAIN I'm saying, try hypnosis, the cd's or a good hypnotist. It really works, it will diminish the reasons you drink and control the withdrawal at the same time.

The saddening part: I've PMed and otherwise checked... We haven't seen or heard from GoinDown for over two weeks. Frankly, I'm concerned. Anybody got any ideas?

You told us you'd hang through September..? Where you at??

In Rehab?
I do not want to think the worst,but I can imagine...

We can hope, firmie... we all hope. Maybe there is another route to be tread...

Over the past year or so I've found myself having at least one drink a day. I enjoyed having a glass of wine or a beer with dinner or later on in the evening. Well, slowly, the number of drinks have increased and I can't seem to stop. I have one drink, and it feels so good to have that warm feeling that I find myself reaching for another ... and another. I don't usually get super drunk, but I like to have that buzzed feeling.

I'm afraid now, though, because I've tried to cut down. If there's any alcohol in the house (there almost always is), I will drink it even though I promise myself to take a break. Then I will promise myself just to have one drink, only to have more. I've taken the 'do you think you're an alcoholic' tests on the internet and failed. I'm afraid of what this could be doing to my body. I'm afraid of it getting worse. I just want some tips or ideas on how to stop or control my drinking.
Contact your local AA group. Take that 1st step.

We can hope, firmie... we all hope. Maybe there is another route to be tread...

He still hasn't come back?

No sign, Firmy. Nothing since Sept 13th. I don't know...

I'm sorry not to check in... it's nice to know people are interested. My update: I guess I've fallen off the wagon. I am drinking again, not everyday, and I'm trying to control myself. Sometimes I can, sometimes I can't. I think I lasted about 3 weeks without. Then we went to visit family out of town and I had one drink over the weekend. I didn't drink for about a week. My husband went out of town last weekend and I got really wasted... I did that alone - I looked forward to it. I don't know - I'd like to think that I can control myself... I think I'm fooling myself. But I also think I have to be one of the dumb ones and hit my personal bottom before I really know for sure. Sounds stupid, I know. It's hard to keep the motivation going. It's hard to keep caring. And I don't want to get labeled. Excuses? Probably.

At least you admit you drank again even if it is to us.
Do not lose hope... try and try again.

It's good to see you back and to know you're doing OK. You had the courage to come back here and be honest with us. I admire that.

That one drink over the weekend... how did that come about? How did it make you feel while you were having it? Probably a little guilty? Maybe nervous for letting your guard down? Got wasted, huh? That must have made you feel good the next day! I admit, I fell off after a few weeks, too. The first time drinking again at first made me really wasted really fast, and the next day (of was it two?) I was certain getting so wasted was no longer for me.

You don't want to get labeled? What's wrong with "Successful"? Everyone carries labels... It depends on who you're with and what you're doing that determines your label for the moment. Hitting the bottom isn't likely to give you more motivation, nor the type of label that will make you happy.

Keep your strength and stay determined. Find an activity that keeps you busy. If you need to talk, just come in here a look for someone. We're on your side!

HI,
I was lurking on the sidelines,reading this post a few days ago,wondering where you might have gone too!
I am in recovery from drinking,AA has taught me a lot about coping skills(HOW=Hhonestly,Open minded,Wwillingness)This is the basic formula.
You have got them down,It's the drink you can't keep down(on the table... lol)
If the drinking is a problem why not look for like minded people? AA'ers,in the beginning,think that THEY are the only ones that did"THIS",or "THAT",or felt like"THIS/THAT".Do you? do you think you'll "fit in",or is this just a passing phase in your drinking?Are you of the mind of 'It'll pass if I can just... '?
Are your fears founded,or just smoke in the wind?

MY drinking career(EX now) was founded on fear,the relief of fear,the need to fit-in,to be accepted by others,and the uncontrollable need to have a drink when I felt like it,no matter what!

I am just ranting now... hope this helps some,
Ken

Thank you for sharing Ken,
I am sure it will help Goindown a lot to have another fighting the same fight to talk with and share ideas.

I'd like to think that I can control myself ... I think I'm fooling myself. But I also think I have to be one of the dumb ones and hit my personal bottom before I really know for sure.

For people like us, it's either zero drinks, or 60 drinks. There is no in-between. If you could have controlled this on your own, why haven't you already?? You need help, and that help is out there. Thank God!

As for personal bottom, what makes you think you haven't already hit it? I can sense the despair and suffering in the tone of your postings. You don't need to get thrown in jail or lose your license to want to turn your life around. You're on the right track. Follow the program, and you'll be OK.

Over the past year or so I've found myself having at least one drink a day. I enjoyed having a glass of wine or a beer with dinner or later on in the evening. Well, slowly, the number of drinks have increased and I can't seem to stop. I have one drink, and it feels so good to have that warm feeling that I find myself reaching for another ... and another. I don't usually get super drunk, but I like to have that buzzed feeling.

I'm afraid now, though, because I've tried to cut down. If there's any alcohol in the house (there almost always is), I will drink it even though I promise myself to take a break. Then I will promise myself just to have one drink, only to have more. I've taken the 'do you think you're an alcoholic' tests on the internet and failed. I'm afraid of what this could be doing to my body. I'm afraid of it getting worse. I just want some tips or ideas on how to stop or control my drinking.
1. Remove alcohol from the house. 2. Join a gym and go there after work. No exceptions. 3. Sign up for a course in anything you like (cooking to math to whatever). - Essentially you have to change your lifestylel/pattenrs. - If you cannot keep to 1 drink then you should think seriousely about AA. You really need to nip this now before your life becomes a total mess (like DUI's and job losses and missing teeth.. ). Also go see a shrink. See what the true underlying issues are that make you want alcohol. My friend, you are headed for certain disaster in you continue on your path. It is obvious that the alcohol controls you and not you controlling it.

Over the past year or so I've found myself having at least one drink a day. I enjoyed having a glass of wine or a beer with dinner or later on in the evening. Well, slowly, the number of drinks have increased and I can't seem to stop. I have one drink, and it feels so good to have that warm feeling that I find myself reaching for another ... and another. I don't usually get super drunk, but I like to have that buzzed feeling.

I'm afraid now, though, because I've tried to cut down. If there's any alcohol in the house (there almost always is), I will drink it even though I promise myself to take a break. Then I will promise myself just to have one drink, only to have more. I've taken the 'do you think you're an alcoholic' tests on the internet and failed. I'm afraid of what this could be doing to my body. I'm afraid of it getting worse. I just want some tips or ideas on how to stop or control my drinking.
I need to add more. I too have a problem - always will. Just go to AA. Just do it. I know well the road you are on right now. You'll keep slipping back. The battle will go on for years and the problem will continue to worsen. It is up to you right now. You have the opportunity to do it right, right now. Go to AA right now. AA will provide you the tools, and give you the guidance and support to do this right. I hope you do this now and I hope your husband attends with you. You have to chance right now to make somehting out of the rest of your life. I guarantee you that the longer you postpone this the more days will be wasted. Don't fear telling friends you have a problem and that you need their help from here on out in making you a success.
The things you will accomplish in life will amaze you once you put down the bottle. So far I have learned to play the guitar and can get by speaking French. Next I want to get my SCUBA certification.
Its your life. It your future. And you will have neither if you continue to drink.

I know I sound non-committal about quitting the drinking now... but I just want to be normal... have a drink on occasion... and not abuse it. (That is where my first drink on my weekend away came from Captain Rich - yes I did feel guilty). Is that impossible? The reason I drink is not to drown my sorrows, fit in, or 'escape' my life. Don't get me wrong, I have some problems in my life. But mostly, I believe I just really, really like the feeling of being drunk - where did that come from?

Anyhow, the alcohol is out of the house (again) and I'm going to try to abstain. No drink today, and all is well. I still don't want to go to AA, but I may look into that 'shrink' to see if I can resolve my other issues.

Thanks for all your replies and suggestions.

It's good to see you back and to know you're doing ok. You had the courage to come back here and be honest with us. I admire that.

That one drink over the weekend... how did that come about? How did it make you feel while you were having it? Probably a little guilty? Maybe nervous for letting your guard down? Got wasted, huh? That must have made you feel good the next day!! I admit, I fell off after a few weeks, too. The first time drinking again at first made me really wasted really fast, and the next day (of was it two?) I was certain getting so wasted was no longer for me.

You don't want to get labeled? What's wrong with "Successful"? Everyone carries labels... It depends on who you're with and what you're doing that determines your label for the moment. Hitting the bottom isn't likely to give you more motivation, nor the type of label that will make you happy.

Keep your strength and stay determined. Find an activity that keeps you busy. If you need to talk, just come in here a look for someone. We're on your side!

I tried to 'rate' your answer but the system wouldn't allow me to. I just wanted to say thank you for your words of encouragement and putting such a positive spin on things. I'm going to try to re-focus, and try again.

I tried to 'rate' your answer but the system wouldn't allow me to. I just wanted to say thank you for your words of encouragement and putting such a positive spin on things. I'm going to try to re-focus, and try again.
You don't have to rate us. You've given us a chance to help you. That's a rating I can live with! And one I genuinely appreciate!

Number one with support... Continue to be honest and we will all be here to help you out. I admire your ability to make such bold moves like this. I am rooting for you. To join AA you have to be able to accept god and religion and faith into your life. I know people who have had a problem with that and I know people who have no problem with that. Regardless anyway, that is your decision to go that route if you choose to go it. Some people can do it on their own with other types of support like what you are doing here! Bravo!

It's been awhile since I last posted and thought I'd give an update.

Everyone who has posted here is right about the dangerous path I'm going down. I started drinking again and it didn't take long until I was drinking everyday but the quantity was generally up to at least 4 drinks/day.

Well, before Christmas I couldn't handle it anymore. One night I couldn't sleep thinking about what a loser I'm becoming so I got up and logged on to the AA website and began reading some of their literature. They have a section on Women and Alcoholics and some of these women's personal stories... I guess they touched me and I could relate to some of them. In the morning I spoke to my husband and essentually 'admitted' that I have a drinking problem. I'm not sure why I'm so opposed to be labeled an alcoholic, but I'm comfortable to be labelled someone with a 'drinking problem'. Somehow, it just fits better for me and I'm able to accept this as truth. It took some convincing before my husband would even believe me! But, once again, the alcohol was removed from the house. We've been to many social gatherings where alcohol has been served (X-mas & New Years is a crappy time to quit drinking) but I just felt so determined to make a change right then and there that I didn't want to wait for the New Year's resolution excuse.

I'm now on day 14 alcohol free... things are going well, haven't felt tempted too often to drink... but I'm not entirely certain that I can keep strong. My husband has some business trips out of town coming up, and I have to admit that the first thing that pops into my mind is that I could get drunk without anyone knowing - crap - the temptation is creeping into my head. I'm trying to keep busy, exercise and stay healthy... I AM considering going to AA. Until I work up the courage to go, isn't there any practical advice or knowledge anyone has learned in their own experience to keep up the momentum and determination to stay sober?

I'd be grateful for any practical advice. Thanks.

First, congratulations! Again!
It seems this demon still hasn't gotten total control. And I'm happy to hear you're getting acknowledgment and support at home.
You asked if there is any practical advie or knowledge... You have the knowledge and the tools already. It's up to you to implement them. Try considering the cost of NOT staying sober: your own health, mental and physical. Think about how you'll feel after letting yourself down and letting down those who care about you.
Is there anybody who lives near you that you can trust enough to sit face to face and talk to you? Make sure there is no alcohol in the house. Try to plan some type of activities for yourself for the whole time he's gone. Something that will occupy the times when you think you'd likely be most tempted.
I'm certain you can remain strong and committed to staying away from people that could become inadvertent temptation. You can do this!

I participated in a 12 Step Program related to Alcoholics Anonymous, and I learned so much about how to live a happy and successful life from my connection to this group.

It sounds to me that you are not ready to change. We can be unhappy with ourselves, our behavior, and want what is best for ourselves, but *we have to change*. Most adults do not want to do the effort it takes to change. Changing means we can't have our old comfortable thinking patterns, a self-centered world view, our same stress relievers, our excuses, the whole shebang... we all know what that is!

When you are ready to change, there will be 12 Step Programs for Alcoholics available near you, in all likelihood.

Good Luck to you on your journey through life!

It would also help if you had or will still use hypnosis in addition to the support. It explores and neutralizes the REAL reasons you drink, which are different from the so called habit and then sets you free. Most people are aware of how powerful hypnosis is, but not everyone is. Being with a huge group that are focused on the same thing, a resolution to a drinking problem is also a form of a trance, you're suspending your focus onto one thing as you do when you are becoming hypnotised, and that is in the eradiction of a problem surrounded by others like yourself (commonality) focusing (trance) on the same goal. Hypnosis is about focusing and holding and then healing through suggestion. Everything is a form of a trance, watching TV.. driving.. but the actual machinations of being hypnotised and exploring yourself through another is wonderful, powerful and fast. Id still suggest it if you can afford it, or know someone competent who can do it for free. There are some people who have broken free from alcohol in a session or two and have saved their liver quite a hardship and their emotions the further torment and guilt that would have gone months if not years longer.


It's been awhile since I last posted and thought I'd give an update.

Everyone who has posted here is right about the dangerous path I'm going down. I started drinking again and it didn't take long til I was drinking everyday but the quantity was generally up to at least 4 drinks/day.

Well, before Christmas I couldn't handle it anymore. One night I couldn't sleep thinking about what a loser I'm becoming so I got up and logged on to the AA website and began reading some of their literature. They have a section on Women and Alcoholics and some of these women's personal stories ... I guess they touched me and I could relate to some of them. In the morning I spoke to my husband and essentually 'admitted' that I have a drinking problem. I'm not sure why I'm so opposed to be labeled an alcoholic, but I'm comfortable to be labelled someone with a 'drinking problem'. Somehow, it just fits better for me and I'm able to accept this as truth. It took some convincing before my husband would even believe me! But, once again, the alcohol was removed from the house. We've been to many social gatherings where alcohol has been served (X-mas & New Years is a crappy time to quit drinking) but I just felt so determined to make a change right then and there that I didn't want to wait for the New Year's resolution excuse.

I'm now on day 14 alcohol free ... things are going well, haven't felt tempted too often to drink ... but I'm not entirely certain that I can keep strong. My husband has some business trips out of town coming up, and I have to admit that the first thing that pops into my mind is that I could get drunk without anyone knowing - crap - the temptation is creeping into my head. I'm trying to keep busy, exercise and stay healthy ... I AM considering going to AA. Until I work up the courage to go, isn't there any practical advice or knowledge anyone has learned in their own experience to keep up the momentum and determination to stay sober?

I'd be grateful for any practical advice. Thanks.

Excellent advise here. I was reminded of what someone once said to me. "If you want things to get better, first they have to get different." That implies change. If you're ready, eliminate alcohol from your immediate life. If it is helpful, do not keep it in the house. If you live with others who feel it must be in the house, think of it as "not yours." Join with others who also want to quit, or have quit drinking. Alcoholism is a disease, dis-ease. It feels normal to be buzzed, uncomfortable to be sober. Sobriety causes dis-ease. That's why it is so helpful to find others to talk about it with. Hypnosis has helped many too.

You already did the hard part, faced the fact, you have a problem, 1st step. Now try and surround yourself with people who can help you, (non-drinkers). Give yourself some quiet time, when you get these urges to have one, meditate, Imagine yourself sober for the rest of your life, tell yourself daily it's a good thing you will never drink again. Keep yourself busy, when you feel like having one, go for a walk or bike ride, walk or run with a dog, rearrange a closet, drawer, get a hobby keep your fingers and mind on other things, rake the yard, pick up trash in your neighborhood...

Thanks for all your suggestions... I'll try to keep busy, stay positive and remember that having one drink means being out of control again. The alcohol has been out of the house but creeps in here and there. Gifts of wine from friends, beer when we had company. I asked my husband to get rid of the wine... then I noticed yesterday that there's still beer in the fridge - I wish I didn't have to ask him to remove everyone specific type of alcohol :mad: It'll be removed tonight. Anyhow, I feel really resolved to stop this time. It's been 16 days today. I don't know why one of the poster's said he doesn't think I'm ready to change. I really want to.

Stay busy and stay positive! You're doing good!
And don't think you can't dispose of leftover bevs yourself. There is something empowering about just dropping unwanted stuff in the trash. I wouldn't pour it out... that's too demonstrative, and just opening the bottle could be too tempting. Once you've dropped any bottles in the trash, wrap it up and take it out! Brush your hands off and tell it, "Good-bye!" That just might feel good, you know what I mean?

There is something empowering about just dropping unwanted stuff in the trash.
Great insight, Cap'n. Yeah, drop it in, tie it up, and take it to the dumpster.

If you smoke cigarettes it's going to be harder to stop drinking. Hopefully you don't smoke so it should make things a bit easier for you. The thing you need to keep in mind is keep busy with something to take your mind off drinking.

The fact that you even WANT to stop is great as alcohol is very hard to resist and beckons to us again and again.

Pray for strength to resist also. Prayer is very powerful and should not be dismissed. Don't think you are foolish by asking for the Higher Powers that Be to step in and help you as they will help you if only you will ask for the help. Live each day 5 minutes at a time. That helps also.

Thanks, no I don't smoke. And praying to a higher power is always a good idea :) I'm still struggling.

In Jan '08 you stated you were considering going to AA & here it is 2+ years later & you're still struggling. It was @ 22 months between my 1st AA meeting & my last drink. Took awhile before I admitted it was more than just A problem. It was a symptom of a deeper problem- ME! And after several years of sobriety I came to believe that I didn't struggle w/ alcoholism. I gave into it willingly. I STRUGGLED W/ SOBRIETY!! If you really want what sober people have, you NEED to associate w/ sober people, to see how they manage their lives, emotions & relationships. If your husband won't cooperate by not bringing it home, ask him to lock it away. And not use it around you. Stay away from wet places & wet people. GO TO AA!! A LOT! 90 meetings in 90 days & continue, continue, continue... as if your life depends on it, because it does! I've known 22 people perish from this disease. I'm going to die w/ this disease, but I don't need to die from it. Nor wish to. And stay in constant contact w/ those who follow the path of sobriety. Sound like a lotta work? How much work are you putting into wasting away your life? The people in recovery will be there for you. The bartenders/party store owners/drunks won't miss you. Give yourself a fair chance. It's worth every precious effort. God be w/ you, if you only ask.

Fuzzy. That was a great statement, but this is an old post, from 2007. I only wish some others with an alcohol problem will read and learn by it. Stick around, we need people with your determination and discipline.

Tick

Thanks. I read a few of the early ones, then went to the end to see where this person was headed, & saw it at June 3, 2010. I was hoping she was still w/ us. There's always hope. Thanks again, Tickle.

You have an excellent insight and attitude, fuzznuttski!

I too, am a member of A.A.

This thread is now very old and archived. So, it's not generally visible on the list of currently active threads. If GoinDown started a new thread about the issue, there would be even more people who would be responding because the thread would be on the list of currently active threads and thus more readily available to anyone.

Thanks!

Thanks. I'm new to this & any help is appreciated. I wish to continue these online forums as they help me in my substance abuse counseling studies. Got to give it away in order to keep it!

I see the last post was Jun 20, 2010. That was my 39th birthday. I was born on Father's Day and this was the first year it fell on my birthday, that my father was gone.
I am sitting here tonight, alone, three or four drinks in, knowing I need to stop and feeling so alone. I did a search for "I am too embarrassed to go to AA" and found GoingDown's post. I read all your responses. They are such great advice. I noted the hypnosis site to go back to after I post this.

My story is much the same except my husband says that if I feel like I drink too much, that is all that matters and he will support me in any way. I never get DRUNK, I never get out of control (in any way EXCEPT that I cannot totally control how much I drink- I make myself stop at one bottle of wine per night) ugh to say that "out loud" is so humiliating and embarrassing. Also, I only drink one brand and type of wine. If I cannot get it, I half heartedly buy another kind, and only have a glass. I don't drink beer, whisky or anything else, even though it is in the house. I am also addicted to mint mocha frappucinos from Starbucks. Not interested in any other flavor. When the discontinued the syrup flavor at my local store, I stopped going. I am the kind of person who really really likes what they like and not much of anything else. I won't eat certain kinds of fat for example but I have no problem downing 6 slices of bacon on occasion. I real the 12 steps and they just don't seem to apply to me. I found a special program designed for women because apparently women drink to excess for different reasons than men. And I was able to quit for three years. I thought I was OK and that I could start drinking the wine in moderation again. I did well for about 6 months but I am back to drinking the entire bottle again.
I bought a case of wine a few weeks ago and I have three bottles left. I intend to stop when that runs out. Last time what I did was switch to a juice, because I like a sweet (drink) with my savory (meal.) Right now, I eat so I can continue drinking (I hate any kind of alcohol without food. It is too acidic.) I have put on 45 pounds since I started again 6 months ago. I feel so lonely. I am so ashamed. But I also know I can do this because I have done it before. Your advice to GoingDown was great. I hope she is doing OK. I am really rooting for her. I hope some of you will root for me. This is my first ever "public" acknowledgment of my issue.

1st, what you ought to do is re-enlist your post as a new one. That way others will be able to see it, because now it is buried behind old posts. By then you'll hopefully receive a wider range of help & suggestions.

2nd, now that you've recognized some issues related to your alcohol consumption, you'll hopefully be ready for change. That is what recovery, from anything, is all about. It seems, from what you've stated, that you have what is commonly referred to as an "addictive personality". Welcome to the club! It's not a sin. Yet it's causing enough turmoil in your life that you want help... to change.

3rd, attendance at some sort of support group, or 1-on-1 therapy sessions, can help, esp early on. There's an issue(s), but confusion abounds. Yep! Done that too. Finding someone who can help map out a plan of recovery is a great way to go. They've probably travelled that road & know what to look for, both + & -. It's called sponsorship. The 12 Steps of AA lay out what is necessary to live a life not only w/out alcohol, but to put your life back together, piece by piece, slowly. This is not an overnight proposition. I've been sober over 10 yrs & just got back from a meeting, because it helps me exhale emotionally, & bond w/ sober people.

4th, don't ever quit quitting! We learn to love ourselves, but 1st we need to UNlearn old behaviors in order to learn new ones. I can't love myself by practicing self defeating habits, one day at a time, one habit at a time. Asking for help is THE single most important thing you've done so far. Continue... I'll look forward to another post by moongirlNY.

Yes, if new threads are started, they will get noticed the most. This thread is now very old an archived and not visible anymore on the list of currently active threads.

I had started a new thread a few months back, if someone might be interested in posting on it.

Below, is the link to it.

LINK (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/addictions/addictions-how-do-you-have-you-dealt-them-466259.html)

Thanks!

I looked up your post but haven't had enough time to read through it. I went to the end where people were worried @ you & hoped you weren't offended @ what someone had said. That was in May. So I guess you're OK, & as long as you're sober, that's all that matters. I'll get back tro you later. I have a conference to attend tomorrow on Recovery.

Yeah, I'm okay. At least I think I am. Lot's of things going on in my life that are making things to be somewhat uncomfortable...

Am still sober and that matters a lot! Am getting used to being that way.

By the way, I never mentioned that I was "offended" by anyone on the other thread. Someone else thought that I was.

I hope that you have a great time and learn a lot at the conference that you're going to attend!

Thanks!