My husband recently found out that he has an illegitimate daughter. The mother was sure it wasn't his the whole pregnancy but after the baby was born the man she thought was the father did an at home paternity test and it was negative. She then contacted him to tell him that it is his and that he should have one done also just so they know. She says that she just wants the baby to have a father and that she doesn't want money. Is there a way to put that in contract form so that she doesn't ask for back child support if she changes her mind down the road. They have even spoken about settling outside of court but I'm trying to look out for our financial future in terms of if something were to happen and she got it court ordered and then they demanding back child support even though we have been paying.

I'm in the state of GA.

Help with either of these questions would be great.

No. If the mother needs public assistance, then the state will go after the father no matter what the mother agreed to. Child support is for the child and the parent can't sign away the child's entitlements.

No. If the mother needs public assistance, then the state will go after the father no matter what the mother agreed to. Child support is for the child and the parent can't sign away the child's entitlements.


That's not what I asked. She has stated that she doesn't want it but if for some reason five years down the road she changes her mind can she ask for back child support? In legality can she sign something that says I didn't want it. So that we aren't slapped with back support even though she stated that she didn't want it. I understand they are looking out for the child's rights when it comes to money but we plan on taking care of this child also. So we will be spending money to provide for her also.

Yes that is what you asked. You wanted to know if she could sign away her child support rights. My answer was no she can't. If you do plan on making support payments set up a trust to make the payments so you have proof.

He cannot sign over being responsible for the child from its birth. If you drafted up something like that and tried to summit it to court, you would get turned away. So unfortunately, if she does change her mind 5 years down the road she can go to court, set up child support, and it will back-dated from the day of the child's birth.

And Scott is right, you need to set up something so you have proof when you make payments to the mother. If she does end up going to court for child support, if you don't have proof of any payments, your husband will owe it all.

Ok so if he files for Joint Pysical Custody of the child what are his rights with child support... I recently read that it will be based on both parents income and if they make about the same there is no reason for child support because the child will be living with both of them which in turn means they are both providing for her.

First off, custody/visitation are totally separate from child support, as far as rights... so if you are thinking about filing for joint custody you need to file a separate petition to have child support set up.

In Ohio, it is a simple spread sheet... which may not be the way they do it everywhere... but the mothers income runs along the top, the fathers income runs along the side... they match up the two incomes and trace them to the center where they meet... and that amount is what will be paid for child support.

I am not sure weather having joint custody would effect the support amount, it sounds reasonable to me for the child support to be less possibly, but not gone all together. Because although both parents may be taking care of the child for the same amount of time, the mother will most likely be listed as "residental parent"... the courts look long term... yes the child might stay equal amounts of time with the mom and dad, but the mom is going to incur school costs, sports, drivers licenses, etc.

That could be right, it depends on where you are and what the judge decides. While visitation and child support are different. If you have joint and equal custody (which is rare), support could be mitigated.

That makes more sense to me. They both have agreed that they are going to take care of the child (she never wanted children to begin with) so if we are taking her part of the time then we are providing "paying" for her to do things as well.

Yes and that is what child support is for, providing for the child, its just no matter what the visitation setup is, most likely the mother will be the one to incur any extra costs. So child support would help in that matter.

So it's up to you basically, you could leave things as they are and hope she doesn't change her mind in 5 years and go for back child support, or you could nip the problem in the bud and just get everything set up through the courts now... I would suggest now... it wouldn't have to be fighting between the two parents... it's just better if its all in writing.

So say she were to change her mind later down the road. When she files for child support is that an option? Asking for back support or is does it automatically happen when you file for child support.

This is such a confusing subject. I've only been on the child side of it. My father was never married to my mother and he doged have a job that paid taxes so they wouldn't garnish his wages. Then my mother got married and he adopted me and took on financial resposibility. It's crazy how all this works.

My husband recently found out that he has an illegitimate daughter. The mother was sure it wasn't his the whole pregnancy but after the baby was born the man she thought was the father did an at home paternity test and it was negative. She then contacted him to tell him that it is his and that he should have one done also just so they know. She says that she just wants the baby to have a father and that she doesn't want money. Is there a way to put that in contract form so that she doesn't ask for back child support if she changes her mind down the road. They have even spoken about settling outside of court but I'm trying to look out for our financial future in terms of if something were to happen and she got it court ordered and then they demanding back child support even though we have been paying.

I'm in the state of GA.

Help with either of these questions would be great.
You should have a real DNA test performed, not rely on a home paternity test. Also, contracts that curtail child support rights generally are void as against public policy. For example, see the Aug. 6 blog entry "Can Child Support Arrearages Be Forgiven?" at The Child Support Web Child Support Enforcement Information & Resources (http://www.childsupportweb.com)

Well in the case of my husband she actually makes more money than he does. His income however is supporting me and our soon to be newborn daughter. If she tries to take child support from him I will be forced to return to work. We had planned for me to be a stay at home mom to raise our daughter but now it doesn't look so good.

So say she were to change her mind later down the road. When she files for child support is that an option? Asking for back support or is does it automatically happen when you file for child support.


I'm not quite sure on that one. I filed for support when my daughter was 3 days old... we didn't get into court for awhile because of continuances and such but they automatically dated it from the day she was born.

But as long as both parties are in agreement I'm sure a lawyer could draft up the agreement stating something like "child support will start from the day this order is filed, and is to include no child support from/since the child was born". If both parties are in agreement, the courts will usually go with that.

You should have a real DNA test performed, not rely on a home paternity test. Also, contracts that curtail child support rights generally are void as against public policy. For example, see the Aug. 6 blog entry "Can Child Support Arrearages Be Forgiven?" at The Child Support Web Child Support Enforcement Information & Resources (http://www.childsupportweb.com)


The thing is right now the child has another mans name on the birth certificate. He told me that he had 60 days from the day he signed it to challenge it to have it removed. I had never heard of anything like this and I'm not sure what he means. But he is dealing will a lawyer to have his name removed. I don't know if they will court order the both of them to a DNA test. I know that in some cases you don't have to have one if the father is just willing to sign saying that he takes on paternal rights.

Well considering one mans name is on the birth certificate and is not the father the courts will probably order anyone who is willing to sign the birth certificate (even your husband) to a DNA test because they don't want the same thing happening again.

Oh... and the 60 days is merely a guideline for everyone, a general rule. Once there is DNA proof that the person who signed the birth certificate is not the father, that's all they need to get it corrected at any time.

Oh....and the 60 days is merely a guideline for everyone, a general rule. Once there is DNA proof that the person who signed the birth certificate is not the father, thats all they need to get it corrected at any time.

So that would be when they ordered one from my husband... which this is only if the mother asked, which she isn't... but if he didn't want to submit to the test and just say yes I'm her father... because court ordered tests are very expensive and as I said she makes more money than he does, she didn't even offer to help pay for the home test. But we have a baby due in two months and are trying to save as much as possible.

No I understand, testing can be expensive, and I would talk to her and see if she may be willing to go half with you guys. The courts are not going to just want to put another man on the birth certificate because he says he is the father... the first man thought he was that father and now there is all this mess. They are going to want to have a DNA test done to insure your husband is really the father. And if your husband does not get on the birth certificate, he will technincally have no rights to that child. So this is something very important that needs to be done.

Right I understand that. I'm scared though that when all this does finally happens she is going to turn around and start demanding money. I'm hoping for the best because this little girl needs what's best esecially since her mother lied to the other guy and kept him around but told my husband that if it was his she would have had an abortion. She never wanted children. I don't trust her. She is one of those I like to go out and party types. I just know I am going to be the one raising her daughter while she takes my husbands child support and goes out drinking with it. It's sad that he really has no rights here. Given he made the mistake of not wearing a condom, she is going to get whatever she wants without so much as a blink about what's best for us as well.

Oh....and the 60 days is merely a guideline for everyone, a general rule. Once there is DNA proof that the person who signed the birth certificate is not the father, thats all they need to get it corrected at any time.

That's actually not totally accurate. After a time that is determined by local law, if a person voluntarily signs the because they that person is deemed to be the father, even if a paternity test proves otherwise after that time.

Also, while DNA tests are expensive there are other tests that might elminate but not confirm paternity.

Yeah well unfortunately its not about what's best for her, or what's best for your family... its about what's best for the child. The child needs financially supported... and I am sure with you expecting, you are seeing just how expensive it is.

That's why my suggestion would be for you and your husband to go to court... do the DNA test, because you never know, she may have broken up with this last guy and us just trying to find someone that could be the father... there is that chance that he may not be. But if he is, I would have it all set up through the courts. Its just easier that way.

He has already done the at home test... She is his. The other guy kicked her and the baby out because she lied to him for the last 10 months and he didn't even know about the other man (my husband).

Talk about putting your body through severe stress while in your third trimester.

Any "contract" or "agreement" to the effect of not seeking child support would never be recognized by any court. The parents do not have the right to deny a child financial support. The only real out for your husband is to try to avoid having the paternity test done, thereby never proving that he is the father. Once he is proven to be the father, the mother can and probably will take him to the cleaners.

That's not what I asked. She has stated that she doesn't want it but if for some reason five years down the road she changes her mind can she ask for back child support? In legality can she sign something that says I didn't want it. So that we aren't slapped with back support even though she stated that she didn't want it. I understand they are looking out for the childs rights when it comes to money but we plan on taking care of this child also. So we will be spending money to provide for her also.
Yes and no to your questions, in that order.

Well in the case of my husband she actually makes more money than he does. His income however is supporting me and our soon to be newborn daughter. If she tries to take child support from him I will be forced to return to work. We had planned for me to be a stay at home mom to raise our daughter but now it doesn't look so good.
Then be sure to apply for a credit for his other child (your as-of-yet unborn daughter.) That'll lower the amount of child support he'll have to pay.