shiningrays
Aug 26, 2007, 03:23 AM
Hello..
This is going to be a long letter but I hope u don’t mind me giving u details about this complex situation that I am into…kindly bear with it and gv me a detailed answer as to how I can deal with this guy…plz…
Here it goes…
Im 20 yrs old. I joined college 2 yrs back and had this simple crush on this guy who was my classmate say M. we didn’t interact much earlier but his body language and his behavior and his approach towards me suggested that he was interested in me.. Like he used to find ways to talk to me and message me sometimes.. It was evident to my friends also who even said that he liked me..
Now till Nov 06 everything was as I said.. Nothing serious.. Then in Nov one of my friends say S who is his friend also asked me if I liked someone in class.. I said that I was thinking about this guy M and it seemed he also liked me.. Now S who is Ms good friend (even better than what S is to me) said that M was interested in me but because of some family problem M didn’t want anything between us.. after some days some girls started spreading rumors that me and M could hv something going on between us.. now M msgd me and told me that sum people in class say that I like u but there is nothing like that and don’t take these rumors seriously.. now I asked him that why his behavior towards me was a bit unnatural so he replied that when we were new in college he had told his friends in fun that he liked me.. he said that it was stupid of him to say so to his friends and apologized for it… all this was on sms only… now I even asked him about what S had told me that he had a family problem so M replied saying that he had a serious family problem and he knew nothing could be possible between us in future so he had convinced himself that there should be nothing but only friendship between us.. Although we both belong to same religion I could not figure out any family problem.. but I thought that he was a sincere guy who didn’t want me to get hurt in future.. this made me grow fonder of him.. now he didn’t talk to me in college the next day and I gave him a call and told him that there was nothing between us because of which we would stop talking so I asked him to be as normal with me as possible and avoid behaving specially towards me..
Now we used to sometimes message each other and talk in college.. Besides that there was no contact but I started getting serious abut him and cursing his family problem always.. then slowly I realized that he now used to pay less attention towards me.. Actually I was myself confused as sometimes he would give a good response and sometimes not as expected.. evn some of his friends used to tease him with me.. One day we were all sitting together and he told me all about his ex likings and all girls whom he liked. He said that he liked a girl from other religion but then ended it up with her as he realized that their parents will never agree for an inter religion marriage.. I believed him and felt that he had nobody else in his life than me and because of his family he would stay away from me.. now S told me that M had told him that in future M would definitely ask my parents for my hand in marriage and even said that M despite his family problem didn’t want to have anything between us right now as he first wanted to get settled.. All this made me feel that I was the one for M and he would fight his family for me.. but I and M didn’t hv any special contacts and never went out or anything.. that I started respecting him more and more..
Now slowly I started feeling that he was trying to avoid me when I used to message him.. he would say lets talk later or tomorrow and then not reply.. all this made me feel disappointed and I felt that since he knew of his family problem so he avoids me.. this continued till march till one day I happened to check his mobile and find many messages and calls from a number which I confirmed to be a gals number.. I felt really bad and asked S about it.. he said that M might be passing time with this other girl… I again believed it bcoz I was having this belief that M loved me and nobody else could be there in his life although he didn’t propose to me but I just felt that…
Now again I continued feeling that M was avoiding me although sometimes he would make me feel special… I was so confused and this continued till July 07… and also to mention that during this time I became part of this friends circle of which he was also a part.. so we are some 11 or 12 friends in this group and we all used to go out together to watch movies and we all hang out together so M and I used to interact more in college but no other special contacts except messages in which he sometimes used to avoid me…
Now I grew on liking him more and more till in July I again saw calls and messages from that number.. One day he got a call from that number in college and so I planned to get to the truth of this matter… I lied to S who is my friend that I had come to know about M having a girl outside college.. I said I knew everything about the matter and to my surprise S confessed that M had a girl outside college but he didn’t tell me details as I had said that I knew all about it… but all I could conclude was that M was again with that girl of other religion I spoke of that earlier.. and he was having a good relation with her.. and that nobody knew about this affair of M, and S was surprised how I knew about it.. I didn’t say that I had checked his phone.. and now next day I msgd M telling him that some how I had learned about his affair and I didn’t tell him that I was feeling bad.. I again behaved as if it didn’t affect me and I promised that this secret of his will not be let out by me.. I didn’t even tell S that I was feeling bad.. but I guess S could guess that..
Anyway M didn’t reply to my message and since then we didn’t talk about all this although by my conversation wit S about the matter I could guess that M was having a strong relation with that girl (not physical but emotional)… since then I and M continue with what interaction we had… nothing changed. We talk normally in college and go out with that group of ours to movies etc… now since all this hurt me badly so my behavior towards him changed.. I felt cheated so I would just avoid him.. a week before he msgd me asking why I was behaving like that…so I msgd him back saying “some unexpected realities have shun upon me and its not u bcoz of who im irritated its my own self that im trying to deal with” then I told him that I will try to be normal and so next day I again started being normal towards him… I msgd him next day to ask about something and next day I found that while he was msging me back he was talking to that girl also(from his cell details)… I again felt really bad.. that’s it till now…
Now I want to know that why this guy is bothered about me when he has his girl??
Also I think that he had lied to me about his family problem bcoz now he is with a girl who is of other religion?? How come he has no family problem now?? Do u think that he lied or what??
What was on his mind all this time??
And yes since we are having same friends circle how should I behave with him??
How can I make myself strong enough to face all this??
I can't leave that friends circle so I hv to see him almost everyday… now I don’t understand what I should do??
Does this guy like me or what??
Kindly help me in this weird situation… I feel like leaving college but what shall I do bcoz I have to see him for coming 3 yrs as I'm in same college….
Nobody understands my point…. I sometimes feel I more than like him… also I feel that his marriage with that other girl is difficult so I should tell him that I like him and may be he leaves her and comes back to me.. Should I tell him??
But then I think that from all that has happened he could have guessed that I'm interested in him and if I tell him he would reject me.. plus I don’t have guts to tell him…
Sometimes I think I should let him go as he’s happy with that girl so I don’t stand anywhere…
give me a sincere reply about this matter…
Im always thinking of him… was he playing with me… why the hell did he show interest if he had other girl…
help me as soon as u get time… its urgent.. it also affects my studies as I keep thinking about all this… and what should be my attitude towards him… and also I don’t want to be any ones 2nd choice at least when it comes to marriage…also I think that if I don’t get this guy then after few years I will have to go for an arranged marriage which frightens hell out of me… before this also when I was in 8th standard I liked a guy but he already had a girlfriend.. now I feel there is no one for me on this earth.. I'm becoming a pessimist day by day… also everybody in college feels that there is something between us… all this is getting on my nerves…
I know this letter has become very long but I want some one to listen to me and advice me… my friends can't help me… nobody can… give me a realistic approach to deal with this… will be waiting for your reply… keep all this personal.. thanks!!
This is going to be a long letter but I hope u don’t mind me giving u details about this complex situation that I am into…kindly bear with it and gv me a detailed answer as to how I can deal with this guy…plz…
Here it goes…
Im 20 yrs old. I joined college 2 yrs back and had this simple crush on this guy who was my classmate say M. we didn’t interact much earlier but his body language and his behavior and his approach towards me suggested that he was interested in me.. Like he used to find ways to talk to me and message me sometimes.. It was evident to my friends also who even said that he liked me..
Now till Nov 06 everything was as I said.. Nothing serious.. Then in Nov one of my friends say S who is his friend also asked me if I liked someone in class.. I said that I was thinking about this guy M and it seemed he also liked me.. Now S who is Ms good friend (even better than what S is to me) said that M was interested in me but because of some family problem M didn’t want anything between us.. after some days some girls started spreading rumors that me and M could hv something going on between us.. now M msgd me and told me that sum people in class say that I like u but there is nothing like that and don’t take these rumors seriously.. now I asked him that why his behavior towards me was a bit unnatural so he replied that when we were new in college he had told his friends in fun that he liked me.. he said that it was stupid of him to say so to his friends and apologized for it… all this was on sms only… now I even asked him about what S had told me that he had a family problem so M replied saying that he had a serious family problem and he knew nothing could be possible between us in future so he had convinced himself that there should be nothing but only friendship between us.. Although we both belong to same religion I could not figure out any family problem.. but I thought that he was a sincere guy who didn’t want me to get hurt in future.. this made me grow fonder of him.. now he didn’t talk to me in college the next day and I gave him a call and told him that there was nothing between us because of which we would stop talking so I asked him to be as normal with me as possible and avoid behaving specially towards me..
Now we used to sometimes message each other and talk in college.. Besides that there was no contact but I started getting serious abut him and cursing his family problem always.. then slowly I realized that he now used to pay less attention towards me.. Actually I was myself confused as sometimes he would give a good response and sometimes not as expected.. evn some of his friends used to tease him with me.. One day we were all sitting together and he told me all about his ex likings and all girls whom he liked. He said that he liked a girl from other religion but then ended it up with her as he realized that their parents will never agree for an inter religion marriage.. I believed him and felt that he had nobody else in his life than me and because of his family he would stay away from me.. now S told me that M had told him that in future M would definitely ask my parents for my hand in marriage and even said that M despite his family problem didn’t want to have anything between us right now as he first wanted to get settled.. All this made me feel that I was the one for M and he would fight his family for me.. but I and M didn’t hv any special contacts and never went out or anything.. that I started respecting him more and more..
Now slowly I started feeling that he was trying to avoid me when I used to message him.. he would say lets talk later or tomorrow and then not reply.. all this made me feel disappointed and I felt that since he knew of his family problem so he avoids me.. this continued till march till one day I happened to check his mobile and find many messages and calls from a number which I confirmed to be a gals number.. I felt really bad and asked S about it.. he said that M might be passing time with this other girl… I again believed it bcoz I was having this belief that M loved me and nobody else could be there in his life although he didn’t propose to me but I just felt that…
Now again I continued feeling that M was avoiding me although sometimes he would make me feel special… I was so confused and this continued till July 07… and also to mention that during this time I became part of this friends circle of which he was also a part.. so we are some 11 or 12 friends in this group and we all used to go out together to watch movies and we all hang out together so M and I used to interact more in college but no other special contacts except messages in which he sometimes used to avoid me…
Now I grew on liking him more and more till in July I again saw calls and messages from that number.. One day he got a call from that number in college and so I planned to get to the truth of this matter… I lied to S who is my friend that I had come to know about M having a girl outside college.. I said I knew everything about the matter and to my surprise S confessed that M had a girl outside college but he didn’t tell me details as I had said that I knew all about it… but all I could conclude was that M was again with that girl of other religion I spoke of that earlier.. and he was having a good relation with her.. and that nobody knew about this affair of M, and S was surprised how I knew about it.. I didn’t say that I had checked his phone.. and now next day I msgd M telling him that some how I had learned about his affair and I didn’t tell him that I was feeling bad.. I again behaved as if it didn’t affect me and I promised that this secret of his will not be let out by me.. I didn’t even tell S that I was feeling bad.. but I guess S could guess that..
Anyway M didn’t reply to my message and since then we didn’t talk about all this although by my conversation wit S about the matter I could guess that M was having a strong relation with that girl (not physical but emotional)… since then I and M continue with what interaction we had… nothing changed. We talk normally in college and go out with that group of ours to movies etc… now since all this hurt me badly so my behavior towards him changed.. I felt cheated so I would just avoid him.. a week before he msgd me asking why I was behaving like that…so I msgd him back saying “some unexpected realities have shun upon me and its not u bcoz of who im irritated its my own self that im trying to deal with” then I told him that I will try to be normal and so next day I again started being normal towards him… I msgd him next day to ask about something and next day I found that while he was msging me back he was talking to that girl also(from his cell details)… I again felt really bad.. that’s it till now…
Now I want to know that why this guy is bothered about me when he has his girl??
Also I think that he had lied to me about his family problem bcoz now he is with a girl who is of other religion?? How come he has no family problem now?? Do u think that he lied or what??
What was on his mind all this time??
And yes since we are having same friends circle how should I behave with him??
How can I make myself strong enough to face all this??
I can't leave that friends circle so I hv to see him almost everyday… now I don’t understand what I should do??
Does this guy like me or what??
Kindly help me in this weird situation… I feel like leaving college but what shall I do bcoz I have to see him for coming 3 yrs as I'm in same college….
Nobody understands my point…. I sometimes feel I more than like him… also I feel that his marriage with that other girl is difficult so I should tell him that I like him and may be he leaves her and comes back to me.. Should I tell him??
But then I think that from all that has happened he could have guessed that I'm interested in him and if I tell him he would reject me.. plus I don’t have guts to tell him…
Sometimes I think I should let him go as he’s happy with that girl so I don’t stand anywhere…
give me a sincere reply about this matter…
Im always thinking of him… was he playing with me… why the hell did he show interest if he had other girl…
help me as soon as u get time… its urgent.. it also affects my studies as I keep thinking about all this… and what should be my attitude towards him… and also I don’t want to be any ones 2nd choice at least when it comes to marriage…also I think that if I don’t get this guy then after few years I will have to go for an arranged marriage which frightens hell out of me… before this also when I was in 8th standard I liked a guy but he already had a girlfriend.. now I feel there is no one for me on this earth.. I'm becoming a pessimist day by day… also everybody in college feels that there is something between us… all this is getting on my nerves…
I know this letter has become very long but I want some one to listen to me and advice me… my friends can't help me… nobody can… give me a realistic approach to deal with this… will be waiting for your reply… keep all this personal.. thanks!!