Can anybody help me? I feel so alone and alienated. I feel as if I'm living with a stranger. How do I deal with this situation, I know I will end up heartbroken and he is stolic, no response no feelings a stranger in my apt. Can someone advise me as to how I can stop thinking about suicide, 20 years and he will move in with his parents I have no where to go, I'm 46 years old and have nothing. Does anyone know about this dreadful disease, Is there outreach groups or other people I can talk with? I desparately need to find other people who can help me.

I have been married to a man for 19 yrs have 4 kids with him, it's a long long story I have been putting up with his for so long, he has destroyed our lives he has been diagnosed with muli personally disorder, bipolar,add.depression his meds seem to make him worse[could you imagaine worse?] I should have left him many years ago but I keep feeling bad for him, who is going to help him,well you know what? Who cares anymore? Now I am 40 yrs old and have to settle for jobs that will pay a little above min wage,, he doesn't work selfemployed goes to work when he feels like it [never] his mommy pays our rent my 18yr son has been helping with stuff a 18 yr should have to, I use to hide his meds from him cause if he finds the adderal he goes to his rm for 3 days getting high, now I put them where he can find them when he is high its my only time of peace he is out of sight for days... his daily routine is sleeping, watching porn,eatting the food that everyone but him has put into the house,he doesn't leave the house he doesn't have any friends anymore he walks around here trying to bully everyone to get his way,, way did I stay so long? Well I was young and very stuipd thinking I could save him!! Hell now I am 40 yrs old and I am trying to save myself and these 4 kids that I love more then I ever thought I could love anyone,, if my mother was alive today I would have a place to live with my kids but I am also alone and the only think I could do is work and go to a fast collage course to get us the hell out of here,, he will someday be alone and sorry for all the wrong he has done and then it will be too late I always believed in God but never really made it a point to pray everyday but I do now and that makes me feel better a lot the long hard times I still have ahead of me,, you know sometimes I think is his mentaly ill or is he just getting away with being a jackass? One of my biggest fears is being homeless, I could sleep in my car but it's the kids that keep me going and my heart goes out to them because they didn't ask to be born in such

If you have not done so please educate yourself on this disease. It can be very scary. My best friends Aunt is Paranoid Schizophrenic fortunately her mother is a psychologist so they never had a difficult time understanding her problem.

Here is some info I pulled off the web:

Schizophrenia Support Groups (http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/support-groups.html)
Schizophrenia.com, Indepth Schizophrenia Information and Support (http://www.schizophrenia.com/index.php)

Best of luck to you.