I have a tendency to 'read between the lines' in many posts where relationships are concerned in the hopes that seeing it from another view helps. Most of the time I get responses that did reveal my concern and received feedback.

It disturbes me when I do not get an answer, good or bad, and wonder then if I overstepped.. so, please -

If you see that I go too far, please let me know.

I just want to help, not hinder.

I wish I could get through to XXXscarsXXX, I see so much hurt there.

Thanks for your input.

Chery, you are wonderful at what you do. And I don't think you have ever been too abrupt. You know that sometimes it can be painful to hear the truth, and the truth has to be shown to some people.

As for XXXscarsXXX, I don't think you will get through to her. She is carrying way too much baggage for a site like this to help her. She needs something more professional.

Thanks Janine,

I just hope that with xxxscarsxxx it sinks in. She claims she is receiving psychiatric treatment, but I don't think she tells them as much as she tells us - even if it is 'between the lines'.

Oh well, on to someone else who needs us.

No way Chery. Quite the opposite. I think your greatest asset is the beautiful manner in which you offer your always spot on advice.

I remember when I first come here looking for help. Your kind yet honest words were very comforting and helped me more than you possibly know.

I could not imagine you overstepping the mark at all. And if you did it is only because you care. I haven't seen the thread you mention here but I'm sure the problem doesn't lie with you.

Keep doing what you are doing Chery. I too have a way of reading between the lines. In scars case she has zero adult guidance in her life and you can't replace that with internet discussion boards.

Chery you always provide very insightful posts. Sometimes people aren't ready to hear the truth and sometimes people get mad that you an see through their situations. There are lots of people on here who like xxxScarsxxx need a lot more then any of us can provide. Just like NK said she has no adult supervision, no boundaries and is screaming out for those things. We can only provide so much since we are not around her all day every day. She too breaks my heart.

First I am not sure that too abrupt is really bad, sometimes the plain truth is the best and of course we have only a small amount of info to go by.
I am very abrupt at times and even called mean at times. But that is just my style and has been for years.

As for as people answering back, a lot of posters don't come back or they merely come here wanting to hear the answer they want to hear.

I think your wonderful. You've been kind an patient. We must all choose our words carefully. When we speak, we're heard around the world. Lotsa different paths being walked. Keep your faith and keep your chin up.

Chery you always provide very insightful posts. Sometimes people aren't ready to hear the truth and sometimes people get mad that you an see through their situations. There are lots of people on here who like xxxScarsxxx need a lot more then any of us can provide. Just like NK said she has no adult supervision, no boundaries and is screaming out for those things. We can only provide so much since we are not around her all day every day. She too breaks my heart.

I agree with GlindaofOz,
Chery, don't worry about what some think, I am sure most of them find you answers helpful.
Some people cannot take honest opinion and it is hard for them to take it as they wish to close up and feel comfortable on the path they have chosen/learnt, while others find it easier to hear the truth.

Keeo doing what you do best.
Take care:)

Thanks so much for your warm replies. I guess I was getting a little paranoid and wondered if what I see and feel was still as accurate as it used to be. Sometimes, at my age (or stage) I tend to need a sign that I still have something of worth to share.

Warm Hugs to all.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_3_15.gifhttp://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/11/11_12_14.gifI still think we do make a difference and that's why I'm glad to be part of this AHMD Family!

Chery honey, there is absolutely no reason for you to be paranoid. I have never seen a post from you that would be deemed abrupt or "overstepping." You have very good insight and always seem to keep in mind what is best for the OP to hear. At times, I really do wish more people would stop and think about how their response to a poster will be viewed or if they are being helpful rather than hurtful. The very fact that you are thinking in this direction should tell you that you are a lot more thoughtful and self aware than most. So, please be confident in yourself and your abilities.

Chery,

I have felt like that myself from time to time until I received some validation from most of the people above who are now giving you some well deserved validation. We can only read the post and answer to the best of our experience. And honesty is the best policy. We can only give them the information. What they do with it is up to them.

Aww, Chery, I love your honest answers, I certainly hold back on saying stuff so I don't scare any one away. I had this same question for the longest time. You are very gentle with the honesty that is what I love about you. Hugs, Start