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sunshined_rain
Aug 23, 2007, 08:26 PM
I've been going threw a couple of rough times lately, and I get scared.
My grandfather's dying and I feel like I haven't spent enough time with him.
My grandmother died last year, so it scares me to think that it will happen to him too.
Bad things happened before (which I'd rather not discuss).
My friends get mad at me because I sometimes let my fury go on them. We have sleepovers and stuff so I can try to relax, but as soon as I have a moment to myself, I get all emotional.
Advice?

lauralee82
Aug 23, 2007, 08:37 PM
I'm sorry and completely sympathize with what you are going through. About 10yr ago my grandfather passed away and my grandmother passed away a year after. I felt this horrible guilt that I wasn't there enough for them. Now I think about it and know that my grandparents knew I loved them very much and that they didn't expect me to hang around them all the time since I was a teenager at the time. I think the most important thing is to let your grandfather know you love him and be there when you can or even just a simple phone call once in a while means the world. As far as you getting cranky with your friends, it happens. I'm not sure how open you are with them but just tell them to bare with you, you are going through some things and you are having a hard time dealing with them. They may also be an open ear for you to let your problems out on, if they are good friends/people they'll be there for you. I wish I could help you more. If things get really bad it may help to go to therapy or somewhere for help. Good luck and take care!

firmbeliever
Aug 24, 2007, 02:57 AM
It is all right to feel guilty, but it does not solve anything,
They are already gone,but what you could try, is being with those you love and who are alive in this world.

To be emotional is all right too, but when you are not feeling too down, find time for your parents and other family members so that you can prevent the same guilt when they are no longer with you.

I am sure your grand parents wish would be for you to be with those you love and moving on in life,and the sadness and missing them will be part of life,as they were part of your past and a part of who you are and what you have become.

So don't let go of their memories,but live life as normal as possible.

Death is a reality of life, one day you or I may die, but it is an unknown date.
The best you can do is live a good life,help others,be a good person.

As for me my belief assures me that there is a life after death, so I guess that helps a lot in my day to day living when I think of my death it is with fear too,but it is not the fear of dying itself but the time I will have to face my Creator.
So if you are a religious person, it helps a lot too when dealing with grief and loss.

cal823
Aug 24, 2007, 03:58 AM
Hey, my grandad went on holiday to new zealand, bought us prezzies and everything, was ready to come home, but then he went white water rafting... grandma told him not to, but he did anyway, and he drowned, (I actually lost the necklace he bought me! I'm such a bum) I only had 2 years or so to get to know him
Try writing deceased relatives/friends letters, to help you fill your need to talk to them, and to say how you feel to them, it helps me