Ok, here it goes.
I've been dating my girlfriend for approx. 5 years now. We met when I was a senior in college and she is younger by two years. We both graduated and have maintained our relationship though many tough times. She is more than I could ever ask for. There is one catch to our relationship, her parents (mom) are the kind of parents that think they are the only ones who knows what is right for their daughter. I haven't quite built much of a relationship with them since my girlfriend rarely invites me their for family get togethers or holidays. I have confronted her on this many times that I want to be a part of their lives because they are an important part of hers.

We've have been living together the past year with two other roommates. My girlfriend waited 3 months into our lease to mention anything to her parents about us living together and needless to say they weren't happy (mom wasn't happy). Time has gone on and we have gotten to the point in our relationship where I am ready to commit myself entirely to her through engagement and marriage (in 2 years). I know she loves me as much as I do her and she has mentioned numerous times during conversations such comments as. . "when we get married" or "after we are married" and has also mentioned rings and what she wants and what not.

Well the last couple of months I have been planning this whole plot to propose to her. I found a diamond and a semi-mount that she would love, and organized a get together with some of our closest friends. Some of our friends have recently gotten engaged and to surprise her, I told her we would be going to our friend's place for a house warming party. Well on the way to their place is the school we went to and I was planning on stopping by and taking her to the place where we first met and then pop the question. Everything was going smoothly and I was scheduled for the 25th of August. I only had to get blessings from her dad. I tried numerous times to contact both her dad and her brother (who is in college) to set up a time to meet. Well I never heard from them, they n ot once called me back or left messages for me.

Just last night (3 days before go time) my girlfriend tells me that her parents called her and told her EVERYTHING that I had planned. And after they talked for about 30 minutes she told me that if I were to ask her to marry me, she would have to say no at that time, because she says she isn't ready and that I have to prove to her that I can take care of her. Well, this is not how my girlfriend talks or thinks. She is always one that wants to take part of equality in a relationship. She has mentioned numerous times about how we would split responsibilities and what not. Not to mention, I would give my right leg to make sure she was always taken care of. The only thing I can think of is that her parents called her and told her she isn't ready yet. And I also believe they gave her some kind of an ultamatum or something. She didn't act normal at all.

So after months of planning and planning, and emptying my bank account and making sure this was the most special moment for her (not to mention trying to respect her and her parents by contacting them for a blessing) I get shot down before I even pop the question. Oh, and I also find out that after our lease is up in two months, she doesn't want to live with me because her parents don't like it and she doesn't want to disrespect her parents by living with me w/o being engaged or married.

Does this sound like an impossible situation. I don't know what my next move is. I got the ring and was about to pop the question right then and there thinking that If I'm going to get shot down, might as well at least ask her the question right? Well when I got the ring and brought it into the ring she begged and pleaded with me not to ask her because she's not saying no, she's saying wait. Just wait a little longer.

Is my relationship being run by my girlfriends parents who have no interest in building a relationship with me? What do I do from here on out know that I will never be able to read her to a point when I do know when to propose. I'm so lost and confused!! Please help!!

You may not want to hear this but here it goes: If there is a conflict like this between a family and boyfriend the family will win. It sounds to me as if she does not want to lose her family due to her relationship with you.

I understand and feel for you especially since you are so in love. But I just cannot imagine your relationship progressing to marriage since her family it seems cannot stand you.

Any reason why there is so much dislike? You would think after 5 years they would warm up to you some. I feel that you are leaving something major out here.

Your first mistake was to ask permission to speak with her father, and then bringing in her brother. Wimpy, like your afraid of them. When asking a man for his daughters hand go unnanounced, and speak to him privately and man to man. Another thing is your trying to get in an obviously tight family, and unless your G/F lets you in, your out. I don't think living together is the right thing to do at this time, after 5 years she is not ready to move to the next level, then there are some issues you haven't let us in on, that stands in her way.

Sounds to me like she is not ready to leave the influence of family, she can live with you, but marrying you, maybe not. This is a red flag you need to not ignore.
How old is she? Family interference may be the way it will always be. Ask yourself if you want to deal with this.