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View Full Version : Recreating a past relationship with new bf/gf


starscollide
Aug 15, 2007, 05:39 PM
What is the psychological name/or psychology for when an individual attempts to recreate a past relationship (mannerisms/nicknames) with a new partner? Ie: Dating someone entirely too similar to his/her ex, using the same nickname for the new partner.

Skell
Aug 15, 2007, 05:48 PM
I don't know the name of it but to me it is a little sick!

Not someone I would want to be with.
Im interested to find out though what it is.

starscollide
Aug 15, 2007, 06:06 PM
My friend is a psychology major and was telling me about it. My friends ex boyfriend is dating someone who is very similar to her... not in a creepy way, but its like he found someone so much like her and he calls her the terms of endearment he and my friend used. Granted, a lot of pple say "honey" or "baby" but they used different ones to set it apart from those. Its just odd because its like he's trying to be with someone like her, but not her if that makes sense? But it doesn't make sense because they're two different pple. I was up until early this morning with my friend on the phone because she was upset and couldn't understand how he could find someone SO similar... I explained this girl still won't have the cute quirks or the personality my friend does, but she's still can't understand. It's a slap in the face and its so odd!

GlindaofOz
Aug 15, 2007, 06:07 PM
I had this happen to me. My last serious boyfriend was identical to my first love and I was identical to his. I figured out that the purpose of this was to help heal old wounds. Both of us ended our first love relationship rather harshly. Our relationship was pretty unhealthy because we brought in stuff from these old relationships.

starscollide
Aug 15, 2007, 06:18 PM
I had this happen to me. My last serious boyfriend was identical to my first love and I was identical to his. I figured out that the purpose of this was to help heal old wounds. both of us ended our first love relationship rather harshly. Our relationship was pretty unhealthy because we brought in stuff from these old relationships.

I'm sorry you had to go through that. It seems as though that's what he's doing, because he looks like his current gfs ex as well and its just entirely too odd to understand! Its like finding all of the qualities in someone that you had in the other person, but there are things that set my friend apart from this girl--positive qualities she has in spades that make me question why he'd be with a makeshift clone than the original? He's had ample opportunity to get back with her, but claimed he wasn't ready for the commitment. Yet here he is with a girl so much like her and I have no clue what to tell her to make her feel better...

GlindaofOz
Aug 15, 2007, 06:26 PM
Some people recycle their girlfriends like that.

The relationship I had was just too weird. We actually broke up because it was getting WAY too weird for both of us. We actually called each other our exes names a few time. Really strange. We both had our first loves over 10 years ago. So strange how you hold on to stuff. But it was good since I got to work out some of my issues and so did he. So it was weird and good

starscollide
Aug 15, 2007, 06:29 PM
some people recycle their girlfriends like that.

The relationship I had was just too weird. We actually broke up because it was getting WAY too weird for both of us. We actually called each other our exes names a few time. really strange. We both had our first loves over 10 years ago. so strange how you hold on to stuff. But it was good since I got to work out some of my issues and so did he. So it was weird and good

Yeah, but its just a little TOO close for comfort I guess you could say. I think part of me is trying to figure out if he still has feelings for her and is trying to convince himself otherwise, while subconsciously seeking someone so much like her... if I'm making any sense. For obvious reasons, I can't say that to her because I don't want to set up any false hopes in her head since she did state she would be open to getting back together with him.

GlindaofOz
Aug 15, 2007, 06:30 PM
Well I think sometimes people seek out mates who way too closely resemble one another. Almost as if their taste is way too specific.

If he still has feelings for your friend then he needs to man up and admit it. Or he could just be weird and he will continue to date your friend in our incarnations.

clandestine1
Aug 15, 2007, 06:52 PM
Well I think sometimes people seek out mates who way too closely resemble one another. Almost as if their taste is way too specific.

If he still has feelings for your friend then he needs to man up and admit it. Or he could just be weird and he will continue to date your friend in our incarnations.

In the meantime... it still sucks to be the one to tell your friend he wants everything about you, but not you...

GlindaofOz
Aug 15, 2007, 06:53 PM
In the meantime...it still sucks to be the one to tell your friend he wants everything about you, but not you...

Isn't that the truth