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View Full Version : Why isn't he here for me?


lilash07
Aug 14, 2007, 07:40 PM
Hi, I'm 19 and I believe that I am pregnant by my fiancé. I'm going to tell mom what's going on and that I need to go to the dr. tomorrow. The thing is my fiancé will not talk to me about options at all.. and that's something I really need to know right now! I just want to know he's here for me and I really feel that he isn't. It hurts me so bad because anytime I try to talk to him about it all he says is "I don't know, I just hope you aren't" and it kills me because I am almost positive that I am... I just don't know what to do.. I'm going to keep the baby, I just don't want to go through this alone... It's breaks my heart.. If he's not ready to help with this how is he ready to get married? I need some adice please help me:(

iloveLf221
Aug 14, 2007, 07:45 PM
Ok, if this "man" flips out now, how do you know how he's going to act when you're married? You do need to go to the doctor, and talk to him about this, and if he doesn't listen, tell him the seriousness of the situation, and if he continues to be insensitive, then I guess he's not the person for you!

ashley19
Aug 15, 2007, 06:37 AM
I would take it one step at a time. First find out if your pregnant, then sit your fella down and tell him the result give him a day to think about the situation and tell him to call you the next day or something... my fella went out drinking the night I told him I was pregnant and I seriously thought he was going to leave me cause he culdnt handle it but he came home slighty tipsy hugged me and said everything would be OK, he just needed that time and space to think about things... maybe your guy just wants to know the result either way and then might need a bit of time to get used to the idea of being a daddy.

Chery
Aug 15, 2007, 06:58 AM
Why put yourself and your BF through all this stress without knowing for sure?

Go to the drugstore and get a test, take the test, and then talk to him.

It takes two to get pregnant and if neither one thought of contraception, then there is a problem. Did you two talk of plans for the future, or did you just assume that once engaged, and then once pregnant all will be hunky-dorey?

If you 'accidentally' got pregnant and hope all things will go your way, you are being a bit selfish. This includes the future of at least two people, if not three, and such choices sometimes don't pan out the way you want.

Being practically forced to fatherhood is a shock to any man, no matter what age, and if he feels that you gave him no choice in this he has a right to be shocked, disappointed and not 'be there for you'. Who is there for him right now during his time of stress, frustration and worry.

So, once the test is done, sit down and talk about the future, whether you have one together or not depends on your ability to really communicate with each other.

Good luck, and keep us posted.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_1_6.gifJumping the gun and stess is not healthy in relationships.

sacha
Aug 15, 2007, 07:16 AM
Like everyone said, make sure you have the proof that you are pregnant first before you talk to your man about this. If you get a positive home pregnancy test and a positive blood test, then show him the proof and attempt to talk to him about it again. If he is still acting the way he is acting, then I wouldn't marry him and you should seriously talk to someone about your options if you think you can't handle having this baby alone.

danielnoahsmommy
Aug 15, 2007, 07:31 AM
First off this demonstrates that he is too immature to be anyone's fiancé. Second of all all men flip at a certain point. Mine made me lay like a lox for just about all of my pregnancy. For the fear I would hurt the baby.

Take one step at a time.

bekah876
Aug 15, 2007, 08:29 PM
My husband always said "we had to be careful because we can't get pregnant" "we can't have a baby right now because we can't afford a baby" " I don't know what I would do if you got pregnant, we just don't need that right now". When I found out I was pregnant I was terrified to tell him. I was on birth control and we had used precautions to not become pregnant, but I got pregnant anyway. I left the test on the counter and asked him to go look in the bathroom. I sat at the top of the stairs and cried thinking he was going to be so mad and blame me somehow. Instead he said "ahh, baby this is so good". He was excited.

I think some guys think of the future and worry about it, but when it actually happens they except it and embrace the fact. Maybe once you find out for sure one way or the other you man will be there for you and be happy.
Good luck! Keep us posted.