I think that age is nothing but a number. But I don't get the reason why people think that if your 6 years younger is such a bad thing. If you love that person, is right. What Do you think?:confused:

Where do you live?

There are no laws against dating having there are laws against sexual contact between a 14 year old and a 19 year old. Also the mental differences between the two are immense and I cannot imagine a 19 year old has any interest in a 14 year old that is not sexual.

You want to know what I think? Since we already had this discussion very recently I suggest you read that thread.

But what I think is that a 19 year old is at a very different social and maturity level than a 14 year old. I don't think a 19 year old can really be in love with a 14 year old. I defintiely don't think a 14 yr old is mature enough to be truly in love with anyone let alone a 19 year old.

I agree with you that age is just a number and that 6 years shouldn't matter and it doesn't with older people. There is nothing wrong with 26 and 20 or 36 and 30. But a 19 yr old is considered an adult and a 14 yr old is still a child. And there is something very wrong with an adult infatuated with a child. I can't imagine what attraction a 14 yr old would hold for a 19 yor old other than physical. And if there is physical contact, then its illegal.

If there is truly love between these two, then it can wait a few more years. At 16 and 21, the maturity gap is lessed. At 18 and 23, they are both adults and can make their own decisions.

I think that age is nothing but a number. But I dont get the reason why people think that if your 6 years younger is such a bad thing. If you love that person, is right. What Do you think?:confused:
I'm new so my advice may not count as much but... HELL NO! Age isn't so obvious when your 50 and she's 42, but 14 and 19 is not socially acceptable. At 19 your pretty much an adult, at 14 u are just barely a teenager, parents, friends and the like would never condone it. SORRY, I know its not what u may have wanted to hear:(

What do your parents say about it

I agree with glenda do what your heart feels but don't let him take advantage of you. I personaly do not agree with it but thats you


That is NOT what I was saying. I do not agree with that sort of dating at all. Do not lump me into that sort of thought. I think NO. I think her parents would have that 19 year old thrown into jail.

6 years is nothing if your in your 30's or 40's. But at 14 you have a lot of growing up to do. You may think you are mature and ready to "date" but you are not. You are just starting high school, and a 19 year old is in college. A 19 yr old shouldn't even want to date a 14 yr old. It's not just about a number it's about life experience and a 19yr old has a lot more and will expect more. A 12 yr old and a 6yr old are going to be very different,one is going to play with dolls and want their mommy and the 12 yr old is going to want to talk on the phone and be with their friends not with a 6 yr old, just like a 14 and 19 yr old are not alike and should not want to be with each other.

That is NOT what I was saying. I do not agree with that sort of dating at all. Do not lump me into that sort of thought. I think NO. I think her parents would have that 19 year old thrown into jail.


Ohh sorry I didn't mean that I forgot my period

ohh sorry i didn't mean that i forgot my period

That's part of the problem here. When a 19 yr old and a 14 yr old hook up the female often finds herself missing her period. <eg>

Yea that is true. If he even thinks about having sex with her or vise versa the 19yr old needs to be put in jail because that is disgusting...


How do y'all feel about a 16yr old girl and a 25yr old man?

yea that is true. if he even thinks about having sex with her or vise versa the 19yr old needs to be put in jail because that is discusting.....


how do yall feel about a 16yr old girl and a 25yr old man?

That is even more disgusting. Where would a 25 year old even meet a 16 year old. After the fact that there coupling is potentially illegal as well what would they even have in common. I'm 28 and I think 18 year olds are babies. My cousin is 17 and she is a baby.

That's part of the problem here. When a 19 yr old and a 14 yr old hook up the female often finds herself missing her period. <eg>

And the 19 year old gets titled a sex offender for the rest of his life. Can't go to school functions when he has children and wants to go see a program... Can't go to his children's graduation. The list is too long.

25 and 16 is no more acceptable than 14-19. ACTUALLY, it may be worse, any 25 year old who thinks it is appropriate to date a 16 year old is obviously sick in the head, its perverse if u ask me.

ANY situation where an adult is attempting a romantic relationship with a minor is a potential powderkeg. The minor may be left with an unwanted pregnancy and/or the adult with a sex offender tag.

I'll reiterate that if the attraction is strong enough, it can stand to put it on hold and wait until both are adults and then revisit it.

Yea I see where you all are coming from. But also the way I see it is you can't fight love if it happens go with the flow this 14 yr old may be in love with the 19yr old. Yes it can wait but who wants to wait?

I am 6.5 years younger than my husband. The difference is, 28 and 35 are much closer in maturity than 14 and 19. When we started dating I was 20, he just turned 27 and there was a big difference to over come. Even then, we had differences of opinion, life style, friends, priorities, etc. That's speaking as ADULTS.

14 and 19 are preparing for disaster.

The 14 yr old should not be hanging around 19 yr olds. Feelings spark and stuff happens but the 19 yr old should know better not to sleep with the child

He would want it to wait if he has any morals. He would want it to wait if it meant not going to jail. He would want it to wait if he doesn't want to knock her up. She would want to wait if she is not ready to be a mother.

Do you need more reasons or is that enough?

If you were put in this situation and you had strong feelings for a 19yr old would you wait? And who is saying the 14yr old is a girl. Lets say the child is a guy

It wouldn't be up to me at 14 you are a child. If her parents had any kind of brains in their head they would toss that 19 year old far, far away from that 14 year old. Plus there is nothing that 19 year old wants from a 14 year old. What to hear her deep opinions on Hannah Montana or how cute Zac Efron is? Please. I can see where the love connection is.

A 19 year old who would date a 14 year old is a sexual predator plain and simple. If he wants to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life and go to jail then by all means date away.

That's really a stupid question.

Whether the roles are reversed or not, it is sick, sick, sick. If a 19 year old boy cam here calling for my daughter, he would be looking down the barrel of a shotgun. PERIOD!

19 year olds and 14 year olds are in two totally different stages of life psychologically. A 19 year old is in college and a 14 year old is in middle school. Two completely different lifestyles.

Your right sort of but I'm not going to argue with you on this matter because we have different views...


Jay15forever Follow your heart that's all I can say besides talk to your parents about it

We aren't right sort of. WE ARE RIGHT!! We are parents, we have been teens before.

If you don't believe it is illegal, just look here

A table of worldwide ages of consent, including US states (http://www.avert.org/aofconsent.htm)

your right sorta but i'm not going to argue with you on this matter because we have different views...


Jay15forever Follow your heart thats all i can say besides talk to your parents about it

It's not a matter of opinion there are laws. Do you understand the difference between law and opinion? If it was just a matter of following your heart then we would have laws like France where a 14 year old can carry on with whomever he or she chooses. However we don't have the same "L'Amour, C'est La vie" idea. We recognize that a 14 year old is a child and needs to be protected against the influences of an adult. 14 year olds need to be protected from sexual predators.

This 19 year old is a pedophile, not my opinion by an adult who seeks out relationships with children is a pedophile that is fact.

yea i see where you all are coming from. But also the way i see it is you can't fight love if it happens go with the flow this 14 yr old may be in love with the 19yr old. yes it can wait but who wants to wait?
No you don't see where we are coming from. You are 17 (according to your profile) and obviously don't have as much life experience as so many if us do. You have the romanticized view of love that is typical of a teenager. It is HIGHLY unlikely that love truly exists between a 14 yr old and a 19 yr old, whatever the sexes. A 14 yr old is a child and hasn't enough experience to truly understand what real love is. A 14 yr old is likely to be so flattered by the attention of someone that much older, that they can easily mistake infatuation for love. And a 19 yr old is an adult. A 19 yr old is likely in college or maybe even earning a living. A 19 yr old has a whole set of concerns and interests that a 14 yr old has yet to understand.


your right sorta but i'm not going to argue with you on this matter because we have different views...

Jay15forever Follow your heart thats all i can say besides talk to your parents about it

This is not an issue of different views. This is an issue of responsible advice. It is irresponsible to encourage such a relationship. The greater likelihood is that the 19 yr old is a sexual predator (whether the male or the female). By encouraging you are setting up the 14 yr old to be exploited. Even if the 19 yr old is truly infatuated, you are setting the 19 yr old up for a life as a sex offender.

Everyone here is entitled to express their views, but when their views are so off the wall, irresponsible and dangerous they will be put down.

And is that your fault if he/she becomes a sex offender NO IT IS HIS/HERS. If he/she wants to date a 14 yr old let him/her do it

and is that your fault if he/she becomes a sex offender NO IT IS HIS/HERS. If he/she wants to date a 14 yr old let him/her do it

Excuse me? Did you forget what this site is for? Its for people to ask for help in making a decision. If course it isn't our fault if the 19 yr old turns out to be a sex offender. But it would certainly be our fault if we encouraged the 14 yr old to date such a person, especially knowing what we know.

They came here asking for advice. We take pride in the quality of the advice we give. Giving advice to a 14 yr old to date a 19 yr old is not quality advice. Its downright BAD advice. Its so bad it might be considered criminal!

I realize you are a confused 17 year old. Don't confuse others by giving them bad advice.

and is that your fault if he/she becomes a sex offender NO IT IS HIS/HERS. If he/she wants to date a 14 yr old let him/her do it

I don't think you understand. We are saying that when someone comes on these boards and ask if its okay for a child to date an adult it is irresponsible to condone such behavior as you have been doing.

Okay I gave her advise and what did you all do you shot my advise down then I attempted to ignore it and once again your being rude so never mind good bye

Did I say go ahead date him no I said do what your heart feels and maybe her heart says no but her head says yes just leave me alone I'm done with this topic

did i say go ahead date him no i said do what your heart feels and maybe her heart says no but her head says yes just leave me alone i'm done with this topic

Yes you did. What do you think; "If he/she wants to date a 14 yr old let him/her do it" means?

As I explained we are going to shoot down bad advice to protect the people coming here seeking help. There are times when different pieces of advice might be applicable. But not in this case. I hope your are done with this topic so you won't be giving the OP any more bad advice.

Excuse me scottgem, but who are you to label this advice as BAD, and bully the kid into abstaining from further posts (on the TEENS page)?

You might find it unacceptable, but then again there's lots of other countries and cultures that wouldn't find a 14/19 relationship all that scandalous. I'm not saying whether it's right or wrong, I'm just saying that's the way things are - and where on earth does it say that this forum has to stick to the US law?

Get a grip, your opinion isn't the universal truth. There's as many opinions and there're people, and as many laws as there're countries.

and where on earth does it say that this forum has to stick to the US law??


This particular OP is in the US, that is why we stick to US laws.

Have you even visited this site? A table of worldwide ages of consent, including US states (http://www.avert.org/aofconsent.htm)

This gives the worldwide age of consent. NOT JUST THE US.

excuse me scottgem, but who are you to label this advice as BAD, and bully the kid into abstaining from further posts (on the TEENS page)?

I am me. I can label ANY advice I want as bad as long as I can back it up. Obviously I am not the only one who felt that the advice was bad. I stand by what I said.

As for bullying anyone into stopping further posts, I suggest you reread what I said instead of what you wanted to read. It was the poster who said herself, that she was done "with this topic". I assumed that to mean this thread. At no time did I say anything about her ceasing to post period.

But, as I said earlier, we pride ourselves on the quality of advice we give here. ANYONE who cares about the site, its reputation, the quality of advice given and the help given would feel an obligation to counter bad advice.

NO A 14 CANNOT GO OUT WITH A 19 YEAR OLD! THE REASON IS BECUASE WHEN YOU ARE 19 YOU KNOW THAT 19-14 EQUALS 5!

NO A 14 CANNOT GO OUT WITH A 19 YEAR OLD! THE REASON IS BECUASE WHEN YOU ARE 19 YOU KNOW THAT 19-14 EQUALS 5!

I agree that a 14 year old cannot go with a 19 year old, but I am sorry, I don't understand your particular brand of reasoning.

excuse me scottgem, but who are you to label this advice as BAD, and bully the kid into abstaining from further posts (on the TEENS page)?

you might find it unacceptable, but then again there's lots of other countries and cultures that wouldn't find a 14/19 relationship all that scandalous. i'm not saying whether it's right or wrong, i'm just saying that's the way things are - and where on earth does it say that this forum has to stick to the US law??

get a grip, your opinion isn't the universal truth. there's as many opinions and there're ppl, and as many laws as there're countries.



Thank you so much for sticking up for me

I think that age is nothing but a number. But I dont get the reason why people think that if your 6 years younger is such a bad thing. If you love that person, is right. What Do you think?:confused:
I don't think that it's that big of a deal. I want to date a guy that's 20 n I'm 17.. no matter what age you are people are going to see a problem wit the age difference.. but if this person means a lot to you than go for it... thats what I'm doing. :}

I think that age is nothing but a number. But I dont get the reason why people think that if your 6 years younger is such a bad thing. If you love that person, is right. What Do you think?:confused:
Say you have a younger sibiling that was female would you approve of her dating a 19 year old and she is only 14

Of course the younger person does not care often if the older person is latter charged with rape, and listed as a child molestor for the rest of their life. It happens all the time in the US.

We had a poster just a day or two ago, where after 15 years, they forgot to register when they moved and ended up back in jail.

i dnt think that its that big of a deal. I want to date a guy thats 20 n im 17..no matter wat age u are ppl are going to see a problem wit the age difference..but if this person means a lot to u than go for it...thats wat im doing. :}

There is a big difference between 17/20 and 14/19. I would still caution you to wait until you are 18, but as long as sex isn't involved and you are above the age of consent for your area, I don't see a major problem.

But advisiong a 14 yr old they can date a 19 yr old or vice versa is irresponsible. The age difference is way too great as has been mentioned over and over. Come to think of it, if you are so irresponsible, maybe its not a good idea for you to date a 20 yr old.

14 and 19 is a huge age difference!! But what about 15 and 18?

14 and 19 is a huge age difference!!!!! but wat about 15 and 18??

That's not as bad, but 18 is still an adult and therefore sex is a definite nono. I would still be cautious here.

As a father no way my 14 year old gets to date, let alone a 19 year old and I don't care about the law or anyone's opinion. 18 and 15, still a NO in my house, and that's all that matters and any responsible adult who thinks its okay for a school girl to date a grown man, is an idiot and irresponsible. The OP should be asking her parents how they feel.

Its not possible, I had gotten fixed up with a girl who was 14 when I just turned 18!! I did not know she was 14, until I started seeing a major immature side to her, and then I asked her how old she was, and she said 14, I soon hit the road, as soon as I could... trust me its not worth it, the hassle people will give you, plus it can cause the 19 year old a lot of problems. So if use really like each other, get in contact in 3-4 years time again, and see if your feelings are still the same, then by all means hit things off :)

Excuse me?? Did you forget what this site is for? Its for people to ask for help in making a decision. If course it isn't our fault if the 19 yr old turns out to be a sex offender. But it would certainly be our fault if we encouraged the 14 yr old to date such a person, especially knowing what we know.

They came here asking for advice. We take pride in the quality of the advice we give. Giving advice to a 14 yr old to go ahead and date a 19 yr old is not quality advice. Its downright BAD advice. Its so bad it might be considered criminal!

I realize you are a confused 17 year old. Don't confuse others by giving them bad advice.



Right this site is for peoples opinions... you were able to put how you feel about the situation so why can't she? She is entitled to her own opinion as well as you are.

right this site is for peoples opinions...you were able to put how you feel about the situation so why can't she?? she is entitled to her own opinion as well as you are.
Yes she maybe entitled to her opinion, but it was met with another, more responsible one(s), in my opinion.

right this site is for peoples opinions...you were able to put how you feel about the situation so why can't she?? she is entitled to her own opinion as well as you are.

Where did I say she couldn't post her opinions? The only thing I did say what not to post bad advice. And there is NO questions she was posting bad advice.

My boyfriend is only 2 years older than me but I don't see why it matters about age but I must warn you one thing: not all, but a lot of older guys don't really love a younger girl they more just want them for sex and because they think they are attractive. However, that isn't always the case and they really can love you. If it's one of those things when they're pretty much just using you I don't think that's right but if you truly believe you can stay with this person then age doesn't matter.

...i dont see why it matters about age but i must warn you one thing: not all, but alot of older guys dont really love a younger girl they more just want them for sex ....

Obviously you DO see why it matters at least at a younger age. It matters because, an older person going after a younger, minor, is usually trying to exploit the younger person. A younger person is often not mature enough to realize this.

That is why mature people will not encourage such a relationship. If there is true love, then they can wait a few years until both are old enough.

I think that at 14 a lot of girls have crushes on an older boy, and boys older girls as well,
But it the older of the two that needs to refrain from the whole idea, if the older one wants to have a relashionship with someone that much younger then they must have some sort of probleam, maturity or other wise and that is when the parents need to step in.
The 14 year olds intentions are probably more inocent than the 19 yr olds.
6 yrs is a big diff at younger ages would the 14 yr old like a 8 tr old?
See what I mean Jay?

I think that age is nothing but a number. But I dont get the reason why people think that if your 6 years younger is such a bad thing. If you love that person, is right. What Do you think?:confused:
A) its illegal
B) she's too young
C)the 19 yr old probably isn't thinking straight

A) its illegal
B) shes too young
C)the 19 yr old probaly isnt thinking straight

As noted in several responses its NOT illegal to date a minor younger than oneself. But I agree with the rest.

I think that there is something wrong with a nineteen year old male or female that feels the need to date a fourteen year old. If it were a 24 year old and a nineteen year old it would appear proper.

It is very simiple, most 19 year old want to be the first to "score" with thee 14 year old, heck some groups of boys even have contests to see who can make a score on a virgin first.

And to be honest not all 14 year old girls are the innocent angels we are trying to make them out either, I have dealt with 14 year old hookers already on the street, and 14 year old that look 19 and dress that way also.

But no a 14 has no business dating a basically grown man. And the 19 year old is dating for only one reason and we all know it.

Well to answer both questions here, the original and xxmissconfusedxx's question. I feel that anyone under the age of 18 has no business dating someone that is not at least 17 1/2 yrs old. But that is just my opinion. And scottgem is correct, that is how a lot of younger girls end up missing their periods, and have the 9 month belly ache. Well , today's kids are wanting to go from 10 to grown, and for the most part, the world around them that we as adults allow them to see is encouraging such behaviour as this. I try and keep my kids away from negative influences, but you know as well as I do, they learn it at school, or somewhere, so all we can do is do our best, and try to guide them in the right direction. And if my 13 yr old daughter even had a 16 yr old boy calling on her now, I would do everything I could to prevent that relationship.

Age is just a number, but the Law is the Law. More so on the MORAL law than the judicial law should be enough for you to see that it is wrong for a 14 and 19 yr old to be dating.

I think that age is nothing but a number. But I dont get the reason why people think that if your 6 years younger is such a bad thing. If you love that person, is right. What Do you think?:confused:
I'm 20 and I love a man who is 53. He's the most wonderful man in world! Age doesn't matter and don't let anyone tell you it does!! Or u'll regret it; like I do. I've ruined my life because I cared what other people think!

I'm 20 and I love a man who is 53. He's the most wonderful man in world!! Age doesn't matter and don't let anyone tell u it does!!! Or u'll regret it; like I do. I've ruined my life coz I cared what other ppl think!!

So you would condone a 14 yr old dating a 19 yr old? At 20, you are pretty much an adult. And if you think you are in love with someone 53, at least you are both adults. But if you encourage a 14 yr old to get involved with a 19 yr old, then you are being as irrational as a 20 yr old in love with a 53 yr old sounds.

I'm 20 and I love a man who is 53. He's the most wonderful man in world!! Age doesn't matter and don't let anyone tell u it does!!! Or u'll regret it; like I do. I've ruined my life coz I cared what other ppl think!!
You're an adult and can do whatever you want but a 14 year old cannot. Can't you see the difference??

I'm actually in this problem myself. I'm 14 and I really like this 19 year old. I'm being super careful about it because everyone is telling me he only wants sex but so does every 14 yr old boy my age except they actually try. Guys mature so much slower than girls so a 19 yr old isn't too much more mature than a 14 yr old girl. And yes the experience and stuff is a big deal but what is experience really? It's a name we give to our mistakes. So what if he made more mistakes than me, that just means he should be more careful because I could possibly break his heart. Girls my age these days are so much more mature than people honestly think we are, come on give us some credit were not complete morons! I know guys well and if he uses me then that's where he messes up... forget about the jail factor I'm talking about some family members going crazy. And I've experienced more than most people I've been abused moved used cheated on I've been in love and have had my heart broken had serious depression which I over came I've been dirt poor and rich I've experienced probably more than most of you "mature" adults have