Hope12
Aug 13, 2007, 07:43 AM
I have given this question much thought and now I really need to explain what I do to counteract the negativeness with positive. I have noticed that we live in a very negative world and that we need to have insight and search for the positive that is there if we only take the time and seek it out and use it.
What do I mean by that? Let me tell you about someone I know who is disabled and who is physically different in appearance due to their disability. First, here is how one can turn what might be a negative situation into a positive one. My friend was in a public meeting place when a 10 year old boy approached him and said: "Why do you do this?" Then he proceeded to show him what he was doing. He then again repeated his question "Why do you do that?" My friends head and body shakes and jerks because of a medical condition know as Cerebral Palsy. He has spastic movements which makes his disability very visible to others. My friend looked at the young boy and said; " I was born this way and I have a condition called Cerebral palsy and I can't stop shaking and jerking because my body is different then yours. This young boy took his hand and said; " I wish you could have a healthy body like mine."
This is a positive experience and it could have become negative if my friend had taken it in a negative way. It shows that those who are different or disabled take the time to explain to young children that there are people who have a body that is different but they still need to be loved and respected because they have feelings. Children are loving and they only learn what they are taught and see adults do. If we adult can learn anything from my friend it is this, If we are positive and maintain a positive attitude then it could rub off on those who we come in contact with.
Now Please allow me to give you another experience that could have easily been a negative experience. My friend and I had decided to go for dinner on Saturday. We go out to a family restaurant and we are eating and across from us are two boys. One was about 14 years old and his brother seemed to be about 11 years old. Their parents were with them and they were talking and kissing and totally oblivious to what their sons were doing. These two boys had cell phones with a camera in them. I was eating and talking with my friend and when I glanced at there table, I noticed the boys looking at my friend and laughing. I didn't think much about it at first and then soon the youngest boy kept laughing and soon he started to make jerky movements and was looking at my friend and laughed. Next I saw their cell phones and aimed straight at friend. They were taking his picture and laughing and imitating his movements. I was trying to distract my friend from seeing this but he saw it and just kept eating as if nothing was going on. Then I noticed my friend staring back at the boys and not saying anything nor looking angry or upset about the situation and as he was staring he just kept eating and talking as if nothing was wrong. My friend was staring at the father and soon got his attention. My friend never said a word but soon the father scolded the sons and took their cell phones away from them.
Now think about this, What would you have done? After leaving the restaurant I had wondered if my friend would mention anything about it. He soon said; "you saw what was going on didn't you?" I told him I did, and then asked the question that was going through my mind all evening. Didn't that bother you, I asked. "Sure it did" he said, "but why let them know that." "First of all I was hungry and I paid money for good food and I wasn't going to waste it. Second, these were young boys and they need to be taught that they were not going to chase me away because of how they were treating me. Third, to make a scene would just be more embarrassing and draw more attention to a negative situation." My friend soon explained that by staring at the boys, they would start to feel uncomfortable, he also wanted to get the father's attention and that is what he did.
Now my question to everyone is "What would you have done if this was you? How would you have handled yourself in this situation? My friend took a very negative situation and turned it into a positive one. He enjoyed his meal and at the same time may have helped the father to learn to teach his sons some manners. My friend remained positive and conquered the negative. I asked him how he remains so positive when the world treats him so negative? Here are some of the things he told me:
1) There are many things in this world we can not change. How we are born and what disabilities we have, we can either use them to our benefit or feel sorry for ourselves. The choice is we can look at the negative side of any disability or the positive side.
2) Thing of ways you can turn a negative situation into a positive. If you search for the positive in every situation, it can be found and use it to help yourself. For example, my friend said, many adults look at him and think he is retarded. What does he do to make it turn out positive? He asks them what the do for a living, then they usually tell him and ask what he does for a living. He tells them he is a medical transcriptionist. That lets them know right away he is not retarded because in order to be a medical transcriptionist, one must know all the medical terminology and to type and to use transcription machinery.
3) When anyone wants to be rude or disrespectful, never return evil for evil. Conquer the evil with good. Example: By you showing kindness and not getting upset or angry or try to retaliate you will never help those who are disrespectful to learn how silly they are acting. By you continuing to remember that all people are imperfect and some just do not know any better. Like those boys who too my picture and was making fun of me, they were Yong and needed to be taught that was improper behavior. The father by taking the cell phones was made aware that his sons were behaving badly and he knew I saw what they were doing. I would not be surprised if he doesn't correct them after they leave the restraint. I also believe that by just giving a sincere but friendly stare at the father, he knew I knew and that was enough to make him feel bad enough to correct the situation. There was a positive reaction and without making any more of a negative scene then was necessary.
4) If we can stop just one negative behavior by a positive attitude or gesture or action then we have made it a better world to live in. If each of us would react in a positive manner instead of a negative manner, we would turn this negative world into a positive world.
That one night out with my friend taught me that only we can change this negative world. How? By having a positive attitude and trying to find the positive in every thing we face. If we can do this then, the negative world would be turned into a positive world. What a great day that would be for all of us.
Coments?
Hope12
What do I mean by that? Let me tell you about someone I know who is disabled and who is physically different in appearance due to their disability. First, here is how one can turn what might be a negative situation into a positive one. My friend was in a public meeting place when a 10 year old boy approached him and said: "Why do you do this?" Then he proceeded to show him what he was doing. He then again repeated his question "Why do you do that?" My friends head and body shakes and jerks because of a medical condition know as Cerebral Palsy. He has spastic movements which makes his disability very visible to others. My friend looked at the young boy and said; " I was born this way and I have a condition called Cerebral palsy and I can't stop shaking and jerking because my body is different then yours. This young boy took his hand and said; " I wish you could have a healthy body like mine."
This is a positive experience and it could have become negative if my friend had taken it in a negative way. It shows that those who are different or disabled take the time to explain to young children that there are people who have a body that is different but they still need to be loved and respected because they have feelings. Children are loving and they only learn what they are taught and see adults do. If we adult can learn anything from my friend it is this, If we are positive and maintain a positive attitude then it could rub off on those who we come in contact with.
Now Please allow me to give you another experience that could have easily been a negative experience. My friend and I had decided to go for dinner on Saturday. We go out to a family restaurant and we are eating and across from us are two boys. One was about 14 years old and his brother seemed to be about 11 years old. Their parents were with them and they were talking and kissing and totally oblivious to what their sons were doing. These two boys had cell phones with a camera in them. I was eating and talking with my friend and when I glanced at there table, I noticed the boys looking at my friend and laughing. I didn't think much about it at first and then soon the youngest boy kept laughing and soon he started to make jerky movements and was looking at my friend and laughed. Next I saw their cell phones and aimed straight at friend. They were taking his picture and laughing and imitating his movements. I was trying to distract my friend from seeing this but he saw it and just kept eating as if nothing was going on. Then I noticed my friend staring back at the boys and not saying anything nor looking angry or upset about the situation and as he was staring he just kept eating and talking as if nothing was wrong. My friend was staring at the father and soon got his attention. My friend never said a word but soon the father scolded the sons and took their cell phones away from them.
Now think about this, What would you have done? After leaving the restaurant I had wondered if my friend would mention anything about it. He soon said; "you saw what was going on didn't you?" I told him I did, and then asked the question that was going through my mind all evening. Didn't that bother you, I asked. "Sure it did" he said, "but why let them know that." "First of all I was hungry and I paid money for good food and I wasn't going to waste it. Second, these were young boys and they need to be taught that they were not going to chase me away because of how they were treating me. Third, to make a scene would just be more embarrassing and draw more attention to a negative situation." My friend soon explained that by staring at the boys, they would start to feel uncomfortable, he also wanted to get the father's attention and that is what he did.
Now my question to everyone is "What would you have done if this was you? How would you have handled yourself in this situation? My friend took a very negative situation and turned it into a positive one. He enjoyed his meal and at the same time may have helped the father to learn to teach his sons some manners. My friend remained positive and conquered the negative. I asked him how he remains so positive when the world treats him so negative? Here are some of the things he told me:
1) There are many things in this world we can not change. How we are born and what disabilities we have, we can either use them to our benefit or feel sorry for ourselves. The choice is we can look at the negative side of any disability or the positive side.
2) Thing of ways you can turn a negative situation into a positive. If you search for the positive in every situation, it can be found and use it to help yourself. For example, my friend said, many adults look at him and think he is retarded. What does he do to make it turn out positive? He asks them what the do for a living, then they usually tell him and ask what he does for a living. He tells them he is a medical transcriptionist. That lets them know right away he is not retarded because in order to be a medical transcriptionist, one must know all the medical terminology and to type and to use transcription machinery.
3) When anyone wants to be rude or disrespectful, never return evil for evil. Conquer the evil with good. Example: By you showing kindness and not getting upset or angry or try to retaliate you will never help those who are disrespectful to learn how silly they are acting. By you continuing to remember that all people are imperfect and some just do not know any better. Like those boys who too my picture and was making fun of me, they were Yong and needed to be taught that was improper behavior. The father by taking the cell phones was made aware that his sons were behaving badly and he knew I saw what they were doing. I would not be surprised if he doesn't correct them after they leave the restraint. I also believe that by just giving a sincere but friendly stare at the father, he knew I knew and that was enough to make him feel bad enough to correct the situation. There was a positive reaction and without making any more of a negative scene then was necessary.
4) If we can stop just one negative behavior by a positive attitude or gesture or action then we have made it a better world to live in. If each of us would react in a positive manner instead of a negative manner, we would turn this negative world into a positive world.
That one night out with my friend taught me that only we can change this negative world. How? By having a positive attitude and trying to find the positive in every thing we face. If we can do this then, the negative world would be turned into a positive world. What a great day that would be for all of us.
Coments?
Hope12