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View Full Version : Exgirlfriend wants to hang out


jokerperhaps
Aug 12, 2007, 10:06 AM
Help me out. Here's the scoop:

My exgirlfriend and I went out one year. She had an exboyfriend she went out with for 4 years prior to going out with me. They broke up 2 months before I met her. Our relationship was fine until she started talking to him behind my back. We broke up.

I was naturally crushed to find this out. For four months now I've been hurting... less and less with time. But I called her and told her I don't hate her and I forgive her. I explained the reason I'm forgiving her is because it has driven me crazy to hate so much for the last 4 months, so I'm just saying, fine I accept it , I forgive you.

We had a conversation about out relationship. She talked about our relationship and how it wasn't anything I did make her feel this way about her ex. She simply still loved him all along.

Now here's my questions.

One thing she said is she misses the things we did. I told her why are you telling me this. "Are you trying to resurrect feelings between us?" She said, I know (as if she shouldn't be doing that). What do you think, big deal or not?

She invited me to an Angel baseball game. She said "John, I just want to know if we'll ever hang out again. Because I really want to go to an Angel game with you." Then, get this! I said that is inappropriate with her having her new boyfriend. I said you need to focus on your relationship. I also said my friends would not approve of this either and it would only make everyone uncomfortable. Then she said well, it's not like we would have to tell anyone. What is she feeling she says these things?

PS
I told her I would not be her friend. I said the only way I would ever go with you somewhere again would be if we were on a date. Then I added that "I don't want to date you now anyway. But maybe later when you've moved on from your boyfriend and you have had an adequate amount of time to heal (3 more years???), then I would consider going out with you again."

chuff
Aug 12, 2007, 03:52 PM
You need to quit talking to her and certainly not hang out with her. She used you. She used you as an emotional puppet while things were strained with her boyfriend. She's not a friend and she certainly is not girlfriend material.

Ash123
Aug 12, 2007, 04:24 PM
People repeat relationship behaviors...

Are you prepared if she repeats again?

If so, proceed.
If not, hang back and keep it casual and see what this on and off minx is up to -
And don't make her #1 in your life. She has not earned it. At all.

She's young (like you) and is not relationship reliable... so have fun and Go ANGELS!
And know it's just FUN and FRIENDS...
Or walk! Actually... jog... no, RUN :-)

Jiser
Aug 12, 2007, 04:29 PM
Don't take one hundred steps back. Your healing, keep healing! Don't stop now. Stay in no contact. No point in contacting her.

Skell
Aug 12, 2007, 05:05 PM
To me it sounds like she is stringing both you and her ex / current boyfriend along and the pair of you are letting her get away with it.

I'm glad you told her it is inappropriate for her to go to an Angels game with you because it is.

Don't let the games continue. Accept it is over between the two of you and move forward to bigger and better things.