As most of you know, my fiancé and I broke up and ended our relationship and engagement... This being said, we are supposed to go on a 5 day cruise on the 24th of this month... Should I go and just be civil with her and do things separate and on my own, or should I just toss away the money ($400 no refund possible)? She said that we could still both go and do our own things, but we'd have to stay in the same room in separate beds... I don't hate her or anything like that, but I do and will for sometime have an emotional hard time being around her... What would you all suggest? This is a huge ship with like 2500 people on board...

Can she find a female relative or friend to go on the cruise with her--someone who will pay you all or much of the $400? (Reducing the amount might sweeten the deal since you are in a time crunch.)

Even if you lose the $400, I vote don't go.

Why not ? Could you still have a good time? Heck you may even make up with the ex on the trip

I'd suggest one of two things ; either a.) go alone (and eat the cost of the other passenger) or b.) get someone else to accompany you. Based on your other thread I wouldn't take my ex along on this cruise.

This day and age, throwing money out the window is not an option.

You should benefit from this long-awaited vacation no matter what.

If you can keep your distance and can handle her attitude toward relationships in general, go. As you said, that boat is big.

Maybe she will open up to you as a 'friend' and let you know what her problem is. It is her problem, not yours so you should enjoy as much as possible.

Again, enjoy your trip.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_2_81.gif

She is using you so she only has to pay 50%.

It's up to you, but if I were you, I 'd feel uncomfortable to do that.

But you can problly go since it's a 2500 board ship you might meet someone else...

My question is... how comfortable will you be if you meet someone while your ex is with you? ;)

Why put yourself or her through the drama of seeing you have fun with others and have to sleep in the same room?? This is awkward and has the recipe for emotional disaster. Is it worth it?? Not to me. Sell your share if you can.

Thanks for everyone's thoughts on this... I've not yet decided... But I am starting to lean towards not going... The fact that my heart loves her, but the mind knows its over, is where I think I would have a problem... I am an emotional guy... I think even though it might be for the best that we broke up, I would still start crying or something every time I was near her... That probably wouldn't make too good of a vacation... BUT on the other hand, it is a big boat and I could spend the day doing whatever I want on this ship (without her)... Then again, I'd be thinking what is she doing? Where is she at? DAMN IT ALL!

Look dude, if you paid for it, you should go, hel! It's your money right? She doesn't have to go. Have yourself a good time, meet people, get out. This would be a wonderful healing opportunity for you.

Ya never know, you might just meet Mrs. Right. You got a buddy who would like to go with you? Make it a bachelor's vacation.

If you are not completely healed I would not go. I believe you would take major steps backward by hanging out with her for 5 days. Why put yourself through that. Plus I would not have any more contact with her until you are healed.

I can see this getting REALLY messy. Large boat + lots of other people + alcohol = HUGE fights between recently ended couple.

Either she goes with a girlfriend who pays for your ticket or you go with someone else and have them buy her ticket. I would not go with her. If someone buys your ticket then plan a vacation with some buddies and go raise a little hell.

J_9 and Glinda have both very sound thoughts and advice.

Give separate vacations a thought - as long as you don't lose out financially.

This cruise was booked (non refundable) for the two of us... We will be in the same small room with two small twin beds... She is going, I now am still deciding whether I should go or not... I hate the fact that I would have to see her and would likely get emotional or start blaming myself or her for the failed relationship... Not saying I couldn't have a good time, but it would be all akward at the end of the night... ugh... There is no way to change rooms, refund, or anything, I've already checked... I would have to essentially pay for it all over again to get a separate room... haha!

What about her having a friend buy your ticket?

Sometimes it's hard to transfer passenger tickets at the last minute. If you must go with her, then just go and have a good time doing your own thing. There'll be plenty of single women on board I'm sure. Don't even worry about "the end of the night." The only thing you're going to do in your cabin is sleep (literally) and change your clothes. If you happen to meet a young lady and hit it off and must take her back to your cabin, then don't worry about it and just do it. If your "roommate" walks in on you, then it's her embarrassment, in more ways than one.

This was my frickin' fiancé... I'm not going to "take her back to my room" if I meet someone... I hate this... I hate the feeling of loving someone you probably won't work with, but yet you love them still...

What if she brings a guy back to your room and he starts giving it to her and she starts moaning how would you hande that??

I still think you should go and avoid her and you neverknow she mnight try and come on to you and the relationship might kick back on. Tis could be an opportunity for yo to sow her that your moving on. Stay out late lether stay in the cabin on her own maybe wonder what your doing...

Forget the money, your broken up and need time to yourself without pressure from her presence, to get over her, or whether you are going to compromise and build a life together. According to ALL your other posts you had one foot out the door in the first place. You've already had the choice to let things ride till after this cruise, so now bite the bullet and figure your next move.

The more and more I think about this I think its best for you to eat the ticket.

I really just feel this would be insanely messy and bad, bad, bad, bad. I think the neither of you will have a good time and I could see her trying to make you want her back by carrying on with every single guy on the boat and even bringing guys back to the room just to push your buttons.

She's not the type to meet someone and have sex with them... That is one of the things I'm sure of...

If I went, I think I would be thinking about her the entire time on the ship... I might have fun in my passing moments of fun in the sun, but all in all, I think I would think of her and be hard pressed to say something to her...

If a woman tells you she doesn't see you the same anymore because of something, that to me means its over for good... I don't see us getting back together... I care about her, but we are too different...

Re-opening and continuing the newest twist on this thread...

So tonight I met her to get my ring back... Thought maybe she would show some emotion or talk a bit, but no... She just said here is your stuff... She said I didn't get my passport, so have fun on the cruise... That was it! I about died that this woman I spent so damn much of my life with simply gave me a bag and then left? How the hell is that right? I thought we'd at least talk a few minutes... I'm so devastated by this whole break up that I honestly don't even know if I want to go on the cruise (even if she isn't going now)... I'm so frickin' hurt by this whole thing... How could she not give me the respect and honor when we met up to exchange stuff?? How can she of supposedly loved and wanted to spend her life with me, but not give me a few minutes with her??

Well it doesn't heal the pain you are feeling right now Jeremy but at least your problem with respect to the cruise is solved.

I know its hard and when they act so cold to us after so much time it really hurts. BUt in ways it is also a positive. Sitting down and talking through things again will get you nowhere. There is no such thing as closure. You'll just have more questions. She might have realised this.

The best thing to do now is to stop worrying about her and what she is feeling and worry about you.

Go on the cruise. It will be good for you. When my ex broke up with me I went to Germany (I live in Australia) for last years Football World Cup. It was awesome. It didn't make me completely get over the ex but it sure helped me focus on other things for a week or two.

Break ups and how people act during them don't generally make much sense. It is all too emotional. Don't try and work out her feelings and motives. You can't control them. Worry about the feelings you do have some control over! YOURS!

Enjoy your trip. See if you can get a friend to go along with you!

I think the cruise is without a doubt the best thing for you to do right now especially since she will not be going.

You will be out on some amazing boat in the middle of the ocean. It will allow you to be away from everything that is going on right now and if nothing else allow you to get a wicked awesome tan and drink.