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View Full Version : I'm in desperation of some useful advise !


BAP21
Aug 8, 2007, 05:45 PM
Hi my name is Brittany and I'm 14 years old & I live with my grandparents. About 2 1/2 years ago my dad was in a major car accident. He was drinking and him and two other guys got in the car. My dad was the driver and there was a man in the back seat and another in the passenger seat. My dad hit a telephone pole... (matt)... the guy in the passenger seat had died and my dad was in a coma for almost about a month... while he was in the hospital I lived with my grandparents because, me and my dad have always lived with theam, ever since him and my mom got a divorce when I was 2. Because my dad was in the hospital my mom thought that it would be best if I stayed with her, it was also the law. So I ended up staYing with my mom. Then my mom wanted to take it a little further and try to get full custody of me... wich would have worked if I would have wanted to live with her, but because of my dad being in the hospital I thought it would be better if I stayed with my grandparents so I could help my dad through this bad time. Later my mom realized that even though she wanted to be with me she couldn't force me too because she didn't want to hurt me. So she let me stay. When my dad got out of the hospital he and my grandparents informed me that he had to go to jail because he was drinking when the accident took place. My dad assured me that he wouldn't be gone longer then a year... I was upset but I new I could handle it. On the day that he left to go to jail I was in school. When I got home, my grandparents told me he had been on drugs so he was going to be in jail for 4 years. At that time I was competly shocked, hurt, and didn't no what to do... I cryed on the phone with my best friend for a long time but I didn't want to tell my mom for some reason. After about a month of feeling what it was like to not have my dad around I felt so lonely because my grandparents don't like to do the things a teenager would want to do... I don't even hardly talk to them at all... we have nothing in commen. So I told my mom about the 4 year thing, and let her no that I wanted to live with her and my two brothers. I also told my grandma at home that I decided I want to be with my mom. My grandma said to me "FINE BUT WERE FIGHTING FOR YOU TO STAY HERE"... I didn't care though because I new a Mother would win custody of her kid before a grandparent... So I waited for a while because my grandparents and my mom had to go to court... my grandma requested a sertin judge though, the same one that took me from my mother at the age of 2. I thought it was strange that my grandma would do that so I told my mom to ask if we didn't have that judge, but my mom said don't worry about it because, at a recent court day the judge told my mom she was proud of her. It seemed like my mom was going to win!! My mom told me that the judge said she was going to be talking to me in private to see who I really wanted to live with. But in a few days my grandma got a letter saying that I was to stay with her. I was sooo mad I cryed and cryed and cryed. That was the same day that my mom was coming to pick me up for her weekend with me. I told her what my grandma said and she was really confused because she didn't get any papers... and pkus the judge did say she wanted to talk to me but she never did.


Later my mom received the papers indicating I was to stay with my grandparents.

Now I'm her trying to figure out how to get out!

I Want to LIVE WITH MY MOTHER!. should I run away to her house?? What would happen??


I need to no if there is anything I can do to live with my mom... do I have any say in this matter??

worthbeads
Aug 8, 2007, 08:51 PM
I would like to help you, but can you clean up your question? It is very hard to follow what you have typed because of your lack of proper grammar and punctuation. You could leave it like it is, but I might not be able to help you.

Pook_Myster
Aug 8, 2007, 09:22 PM
BAP21, what you need to do is chat with your grandparents - It is important that they know how you are feeling, and what it is you want - but I do get the impression that all is not as simple as you may think.

It may be possible that your grandparents are trying to protect you from seeing or being involved in something that they would rather you kept your distance from. When you say that your Dad was on drugs, and in an accident involving alcohol - and also that you were taken from your mother when you were two by this same judge... then MAYBE your grandparents are protecting you from being exposed to things that a girl of 14 shouldn't have to be exposed to.

Don't run away anywhere or make any rash decisions until you have spoken with your grandparents.

LearningAsIGo
Aug 9, 2007, 06:08 AM
Whatever you do, do NOT run away. Besides worrying everyone, if your mother let you stay with her, she would be "harboring" and she could be arrested.

It sounds like your mom had problems, but is improving since the judge said she was proud of her. Mom's don't always win in court over a grandparent. A responsible judge will keep you where you are best off... even if its hard for you to see that now. If your mom is on the right track, the best thing for you to do is be GOOD to your grandparents and let them see that you are responsible and appreciate them taking care of you.. while your mom continues to improve in the eyes of the judge.

Wait a little while and with good behavior and another visit to the judge with your mom, you could be turned over to live with her. In the mean time, don't do anything to get you or mom in trouble and remember that your Grandparents are trying to do what's best for you because they love you so much. :)
Good luck!

SoonToBeMumOf5
Aug 12, 2007, 01:57 PM
I thought you'd have a say but oviously not. Talk to your Grandparents and see how they feel

shygrneyzs
Aug 12, 2007, 02:28 PM
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/what-would-happen-if-ran-away-home-118153.html
This coincides with the OP's current post.

Lots of advice given but she wants to hear something else, that she is right in her plans.