Hello,

I reside in California and I’ve been surprised by receiving to go to court for Child Support hearing. I have been with/dated 3 other women at the same time and one of them is claiming I am a father after 12 months or so; she was actually a fling.

Any sugestions regarding this deviant woman claiming such things and man hunter for Child Support? And what am I going against?

Thank You -

First things first, ask for a court ordered paternity test. She will need to prove that you the father. However, even if she was a fling it could still be your kid. It only takes one time to get pregnant.

Is there a chance you could be the father? Either way, contest paternity. You'll be ordered to submit to a DNA test. If you are proven to be the dad, you'll be ordered to pay child support, including arrearages going back to the date of birth. You'll be able to petition for visitation, custody or anything else pertaining to your rights as a father.

If you are the father, she is not crazy, only wanting the support legally due her. If you were having unprotected sex with her, it does not matter if it was a one night stand while you were cheating on two girl friends, all that matters is " are you the father or not"

So a DNA test will prove that.

I'm surprised at your ignorance. Any sexual contact, however brief your relationship, can create a pregnancy. The only way to deal with this is to get the paternity test. Once you have proof, either way, your next course of action should be more obvious. Your talking of this woman like this when you did the same thing only didn't have to feel the consequences as immediately as she... Grow up.

You don't have to contest paternity... if you are not on the birth certificate, which with this being a surprise to you, you obvioulsy aren't because you would have had to sign it... then the courts will automatically order a paternity test before anything else is done.

Once the results of your paternity tests come back that should give you all the answers you need... if you are the father you really can't do anything from there (as far as fighting child support).

First things first, ask for a court ordered paternity test. She will need to prove that you the father. However, even if she was a fling it could still be your kid. It only takes one time to get pregnant.


50% I may be the father, but I don't want to have anything to do with it!

I have been dating her for 1-2 months off and on, as I've realized that she was stalking me and has psycho issues. I broke up whatever friendship/relationship I had with her right away and few weeks later she got in contact with me playing the victim and almost crying... so I've let her back but ONLY as a friend and friend with benefits type of thing, because/as I was dating/seeing other women. That kind of friendship lasted another 1-2 months and I broke up with her for good.

Now (about 12 months later) I receive this insanity in the mail.

What if I don't want to do the paternity test?

You will have no choice to do the paternity test... it will be court ordered... if you fail to do it you will be held in contempt.
You asking that questions leads me to believe you think it may be yours...
A child needs to be supports regardless of weather the "father" wants to or not, unfortunately the child didn't get to pick his/her parents...
If the child is yours, you don't have to have anything to do with the child, except pay support... no way you will ever get out of that.

50% I may be the father, but I don't want to have anything to do with it!

I have been dating her for 1-2 months off and on, as I've realized that she was stalking me and has psycho issues. I broke up whatever friendship/relationship I had with her right away and few weeks later she got in contact with me playing the victim and almost crying ... so I've let her back but ONLY as a friend and friend with benefits type of thing, because/as I was dating/seeing other women. That kind of friendship lasted another 1-2 months and I broke up with her for good.

Now (about 12 months later) I receive this insanity in the mail.

What if I don't want to do the paternity test?

The mother has nothing to do with caring for that child. That child did not ASK to be born. You had sex with her without protection you spun the barrel and pulled the trigger.

That is a vile statement. If you made that baby you better pay support. There are court orders for those kinds of things. In some states you will go to jail until you pay up. If you were man enough to have sex you should be man enough to take care of a child.

You don't have to contest paternity...if you are not on the birth certificate, which with this being a surprise to you, you obvioulsy aren't because you would have had to sign it...then the courts will automatically order a paternity test before anything else is done.

Once the results of your paternity tests come back that should give you all the answers you need...if you are the father you really can't do anything from there (as far as fighting child support).


I am not on the birth certificate. How could I be as this desperate insane woman has planned it on purpose trying to ruin someone's life.

Also, when I've let her back in the friendship and the reason I broke up with her for good is because she said that she is Pro Life... so immediately I broke up with her for good, obviously!

I am not on the birth certificate. How could I be as this desperate insane woman has planned it on purpose trying to ruin someones life.

Also, when I've let her back in the friendship and the reason I broke up with her for good is because she said that she is Pro Life ... so immediately I broke up with her for good, obviously!!

Clearly not before having sex with her multiple times without protection. If you don't want a baby with a woman then use protection. I guess you have learned your lesson.

The mother has nothing to do with caring for that child. That child did not ASK to be born. You had sex with her without protection you spun the barrel and pulled the trigger.

That is a vile statement. If you made that baby you better pay support. There are court orders for those kinds of things. In some states you will go to jail until you pay up. If you were man enough to have sex you should be man enough to take care of a child.


She could have prevented it right?! Instead she had and has very vicious intentions due to her own insanity and insecurity?!

She could of prevented it right?!? Instead she had and has very vicious intentions due to her own insanity and insecurity?!?

So could you. You need to take responsibility for your actions. You sound like a teenager. Be a man.

Your attitude is reprehensible. From what you have told us you broke up with the woman and haven't contacted her for a year. But just because she had a baby you assume she is deparate and insane.

Frankly, you make me sick. You are so selfish and self centered. It is my belief that ANYONE who engages in sexual intercourse with someone must be prepared to have a child. If you are not so prepared then you shouldn't have intercourse.

If you have fathered a child you cannot fully blame the mother. You had at least an equal part on this and you have to stand up and deal with it like an adult, not a petualant child.

Yes, get a paternity test. Make sure you are the father. But if it turns out you are, then do the right thing. And the right thing is NOT to this the mother and make unfounded accusations. Its not to try and get out of your responsibility towards that child.

so could you. you need to take responsibility for your actions. You sound like a teenager. Be a man.


I have lots of sympathy for such attitude in regards to what are you trying to say but I don't tolerate it. And, I am a man I've dump the psycho... I can't even call her ex because she was never a "girlfriend type". How can a woman do this, how can a human be so insane, how can a woman live with herself giving birth in such repulsive circumstance, etc... etc...

Forget about family values, when in such mental issues and insecurity nothing matters right?

The funny thing she might think that she hit the lottery with me by being rich? Which I am not. Also, I am in a very serious relationship right now... and I can't wait to have at least 5-8 children with this beautiful woman I am with.

I forgot to mention, in the mid time while being married I will look for more psychos to have sex with thinking they can have my family's gene at free will and to ask for child support.
My ad will sound something like this "Pro Life psychos wanted, great gene available - Child Support Hot Ticket!"

MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON SUCH DEVIANT MINDS.

AMEN!

oh and by the way, I know a married couple that decided not to have a child in their life during a certain time thus going for abortion, and now they have 3 children.

Your attitude is reprehensible. From what you have told us you broke up with the woman and haven't contacted her for a year. But just because she had a baby you assume she is deparate and insane.

Frankly, you make me sick. You are so selfish and self centered. It is my belief that ANYONE who engages in sexual intercourse with someone must be prepared to have a child. If you are not so prepared then you shouldn't have intercourse.

If you have fathered a child you cannot fully blame the mother. You had at least an equal part on this and you have to stand up and deal with it like an adult, not a petualant child.

Yes, get a paternity test. Make sure you are the father. But if it turns out you are, then do the right thing. And the right thing is NOT to dis the mother and make unfounded accusations. Its not to try and get out of your responsibility towards that child.

Are you kidding me? I was in hope to find some good advise, positive rational and not random feminists and pro life desperate fanatics abusing the very basic of living a good life AND NOT MAKING IT HARDER especially on other people.

"Petualant child?" - now that straight double standard to the 69th degree INSULT, good try though! Also, I was not the one HIDING (with the fetus) like a child.

As for not prepared and should not have intercourse - shoot I forgot we are in the STONE AGE technology wise, and even FLINSTONES had 69 abortions. So much for education now days.

I have lots of sympathy for such attitude in regards to what are you trying to say but I don't tolerate it. And, I am a man I've dump the psycho ... I can't even call her ex because she was never a "girlfriend type". How can a woman do this, how can a human be so insane, how can a woman live with herself giving birth in such repulsive circumstance, etc... etc ....

Forget about family values, when in such mental issues and insecurity nothing matters right?

The funny thing she might think that she hit the lottery with me by being rich? Which I am not. Also, I am in a very serious relationship right now ... and I can't wait to have at least 5-8 children with this beautiful woman I am with.

I forgot to mention, in the mid time while being married I will look for more psychos to have sex with thinking they can have my family's gene at free will and to ask for child support.
My ad will sound something like this "Pro Life psychos wanted, great gene available - Child Support Hot Ticket!"

MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON SUCH DEVIANT MINDS.

AMEN!

oh and by the way, I know a married couple that decided not to have a child in their life during a certain time thus going for abortion, and now they have 3 children.

Listen, if you keep claiming that that woman is a crazy psycho nut-job... and that you kept sleeping with her, then what does that make you? First we had to explain to you that a fling can create a child, then explain to you that you are a cheater, and now I think I have to say that maybe your Ex "fling" is not the "mad" one for trying to get you to take care of the child you put in her, but maybe, by gosh, maybe you're a little crazy "yourself"?

What sort of man gets a lady pregnant, uses her, and calls her psycho, yet still sleeps with her... and at the end of the day comes and says "I don't even want my own child".

Shame on you.

Oh and that really sad last comment about the "married couple who had an abortion"... that is your desperate cry for people to say "well she should get an abortion". This is an immature attempt to get to hear what you want to hear.

Be a man or stop doing adult things.

This exact thing happened to my best friend, except she was the woman, and she's not psycho! Did you ever think about what this woman is going through, having a baby is stressful and difficult, and no woman wants to go through that alone... I'm sure that she doesn't want you to be the father, but there is a possibility that you are.
Did you ever ask if she was sleeping with other people during that time, or did the relationship mean something to her?
Also children are extremely expensive, and since she is a single mom, she has to work still, but then she has to pay someone to watch the baby... I can assure that she did not just have the baby for your money... but she definitely needs it in order to raise the child properly, and if the baby is yours, then you want it to have a good life!
About abortion... just because you think they are OK, doesn't mean that everyone else has to, it's her body... her decision

Listen, if you keep claiming that that woman is a crazy psycho nut-job...and that you kept sleeping with her, then what does that make you? First we had to explain to you that a fling can create a child, then explain to you that you are a cheater, and now I think I have to say that maybe your Ex "fling" is not the "mad" one for trying to get you to take care of the child you put in her, but maybe, by gosh, maybe you're a little crazy "yourself"?

What sort of man gets a lady pregnant, uses her, and calls her psycho, yet still sleeps with her...and at the end of the day comes and says "I don't even want my own child".

Shame on you.

Oh and that really sad last comment about the "married couple who had an abortion"...that is your desperate cry for people to say "well she should get an abortion". This is an immature attempt to get to hear what you want to hear.

Be a man or stop doing adult things.

Please read above what I've responded to ScottGem.

Crazy for sleeping with such scum but I am definitely not psycho, I admit. I have a good rational and values but definitely not complicating someone's life trying to play GOD and behind their back.

Using her? You must be kidding, so how does it stand now on the aftermath as she was hiding for over 12 months? And shame on me as well right?

As for the married couple that is just a piece of sanity, you know the opposite of insanity.

I am a MAN and I am doing ADULT things, it's just that I have been hit below the belt and have to roll with it, the least to say.

It's OK though I know GOD IS WATCHING!

this exact thing happened to my best friend, except she was the woman, and she's not psycho! did you ever think about what this woman is going through, having a baby is stressful and difficult, and no woman wants to go through that alone...i'm sure that she doesn't want you to be the father, but there is a possibility that you are.
did you ever ask if she was sleeping with other people during that time, or did the relationship mean something to her?
also children are extremely expensive, and since she is a single mom, she has to work still, but then she has to pay someone to watch the baby...i can assure that she did not just have the baby for your money...but she definatly needs it in order to raise the child properly, and if the baby is yours, then you want it to have a good life!
about abortion...just because you think they are ok, doesn't mean that everyone else has to, it's her body...her decision


About going through having the baby - hmmmm was she thinking about it when not wanting to tell me that she was pregnant, obviously my opinion was out of the question.

I hope for her sake that she slept with other people, as I did not speak with her since I broke up with her over 12 months ago.

And since she thinks she can play GOD she should thought about affording the child by herself. Trust me no male figure wants to raise that kind of a child brought in the world in such circumstance.

About her body, her decision nonsense, etc... I reiterate the rational logic spoken above.

About going through having the baby - hmmmm was she thinking about it when not wanting to tell me that she was pregnant, obviously my opinion was out of the question.
.

Gee I wonder why she didn't want to tell you, I mean you are acting so classy about the whole situation.

Look you came on her for advice but you get nowhere on this board by attacking people and calling someone who you repeatedly had unprotected sex with a psycho. Did you ever think that the relationship meant something to her? That she felt hurt, embarrassed and ashamed when she found out that you were just using her? That really breaks some people. All the "evidence" you are showing is just making you look worse and worse.

Here is your advice. You are not on the birth certificate so in order to get child support they will have to prove that you are the father. You will HAVE to take a paternity test because it is court ordered. If you want to you can sign away your parental rights, however that will not exclude you from paying child support. Those are your only options if you are the father. Whether this woman should have carried the baby to term is no longer debatable because the baby is born, again that baby did not ask to be born. Why are you punishing the child? Your complaint is with the mother not the child. If I was the woman in your life and saw you reacting like this I would dump you and run far, far away. You refuse to take ANY responsibility in this. You act like she hijacked in the middle of the night and stole your sperm and got herself pregnant. You were there buddy. Man up.

Are you kidding me? I was in hope to find some good advise, positive rational and not random feminists and pro life desperate fanatics abusing the very basic of living a good life AND NOT MAKING IT HARDER especially on other people.

"Petualant child?" - now that straight double standard to the 69th degree INSULT, good try though! Also, I was not the one HIDING (with the fetus) like a child.

As for not prepared and should not have intercourse - shoot I forgot we are in the STONE AGE technology wise, and even FLINSTONES had 69 abortions. So much for education now days.

No am I not in the least kidding you. Nor am I feminist and I'm decidedly not pro-life (in fact I dispise that term). No one is making life harder on you. YOU made it harder on yourself by engaging in sexual intercourse when you were not willing or prepared to have a child.

So far the only proof you have offered about the status of this woman is that she decided to keep the baby. You have absolutely NO clue about what goes into the decision to have a baby under these circumstances.

And yes you are acting like a petulant child. Of course you won't believe it, you are too self centered for that. But it seems everyone else responding to this thread sees it. Shouldn't that make you wonder? From the first post your theme has been poor me, I may have fathered a chld and now the mother is holding me financialy responsible how unfair is that? That is sure acting childish in my book.

I'm wondering if you have told this other woman you are involved with this story. Wouldn't surprised me if you dumped you like a hot potato.

As for advice, you have gotten very good advice. You have been told that you need to get a paternity test. If the paternity test does not show you has the father, then you are off the hook and can slink away. However, if it does confirm paternity, then you need to grow up and take responsibility for your actions.

I'm wondering if you have told this other woman you are involved with this story. Wouldn't surprised me if you dumped you like a hot potato.


Hmm I wonder if this is the source of the panic... maybe she has no idea about your shady past? Maybe she only wants to be with someone who has no other attachments? What does this lady think?

Hmm I wonder if this is the source of the panic......maybe she has no idea about your shady past? Maybe she only wants to be with someone who has no other attachments? What does this lady think?

Or maybe he doesn't want her to know what an irresponsible, self centered child he acts like.

Or maybe he doesn't want her to know what an irresponsible, self centered child he acts like.

I'm wondering if she knows about the "have 5-8 kids with her" while finding psychos to screw around with at the same time?

I'm also wondering if this is a troll, because I'd really rather not think that there are people this selfish in the world.

I'm wondering if she knows about the "have 5-8 kids with her" while finding psychos to screw around with at the same time?

I'm also wondering if this is a troll, because I'd really rather not think that there are people this selfish in the world.

Oh Froggy... so funny

You would think all of those other kids were take time out of his busy denying his children schedule. And his other busy schedule of having unprotected sex with girls who he is just using...

No am I not in the least kidding you. Nor am I feminist and I'm decidely not pro-life (in fact I dispise that term). No one is making life harder on you. YOU made it harder on yourself by engaging in sexual intercourse when you were not willing or prepared to have a child.

So far the only proof you have offered about the status of this woman is that she decided to keep the baby. You have absolutely NO clue about what goes into the decision to have a baby under these circumstances.

And yes you are acting like a petulant child. of course you won't believe it, you are too self centered for that. But it seems everyone else responding to this thread sees it. Shouldn't that make you wonder? From the first post your theme has been poor me, I may have fathered a chld and now the mother is holding me financialy responsible how unfair is that? That is sure acting childish in my book.

I'm wondering if you have told this other woman you are involved with this story. Wouldn't surprised me if you dumped you like a hot potato.

As for advice, you have gotten very good advice. You have been told that you need to get a paternity test. If the paternity test does not show you has the father, then you are off the hook and can slink away. However, if it does confirm paternity, then you need to grow up and take responsibility for your actions.

I repeat as I have mentioned earlier, yes it was me that was crazy to get involved sexually and not reading her insane mind of what she was after. Now I know why the gay community is growing, because of these women schmucks still exist in this world.

As for her circumstances SHE choose on her own I do not care, she knew I am was not willing, I was not the type to have a child and she saw the fact that I will not be able to afford it, not to mention that we broke up giving a clear statement that I am not interested in her stalking and psycho issues... yet she had the nerve to take over controlling the situation and do it anyway now asking for parental support? NOW THAT IS SICK! Forget about childish.. how about mean, demented and evil intentions the least to say.

The relationship I am in at the moment is none of your business or anybody else's... she actually knows about it and was PERPLEXED that there is these kind of psycho women in this world still. Actually sometime after the wedding ceremony I'll come right at the door where she leaves and take pictures with my wife, just to prove a point that no matter what you don't have children with strangers you barely know for 2 months; and telling them via mail that you have a child with them after 12+ months. She is Very classy with very High Standards right?! And a child born and raised like that will definitely have the true natural family benefit as well right?

What’s “unfair” and the money in China (aka demented controlling fetus schmuck) has to do with this situation?

But thank you for the minimal positive advice.

Enough said, I’ve got the point in regards to this useless forum.

Oh Froggy.....so funny

You would think all of those other kids were take time out of his busy denying his children schedule. And his other busy schedule of having unprotected sex with girls who he is just using...


Very funny.

These women/girls are on the same page, they do not want children yet... They are truly sane and not desperate and low to get pregnant and ask for child support. They want to have children with whom they marry above all, definitely not from someone they date for months off an on. Actually one of them had an abortion once already... her boyfriend at the time wanted a kid but he was not mature enough to afford it.

"Unprotected sex" is overrated in this part of the WORLD especially when it comes down to such incidents that can be corrected. Forget about the morning pill a sane woman can take it... right?! The funny thing I even told her more than once if she feels that she needs to take the pill I'll pay for it. So please spare me the schmuckerry bs attitude!! I don't tolerate it.

Bottom line this type of behavior from such desperate and demented women need the most mental help from psychologists; and should have a RED tag on them (insane women) so men that do not want to have anything to do with the type can keep them at bay. But what can I say we are still evolving, I am thinking way too much in advance in order to start such program or WEBSITE; I need to get my MS from a posh Ivy School.

It is a matter of law... If you are the father you will have to pay next 17-20 years with or without your willing to pay... BTW I am neither feminist nor men activist.And you assert she is crazy.If I were you I would prove she is crazy and I would get full custody/in condition I am the father/.Let her to pay next 17 years child support and if she does not pay-send her in jail.

You are obviously scared and ashamed of your past behaviour, and you are trying to convince yourself that she is crazy, rather than own up to the mistake that you have made.

In chorus with everyone else, stand up, be a man, stop trying to blame everyone else for your problems. If there is one thing that we truly own in this world, it is our ability to make our own decisions - as you have done, and as you will now have to live with.

Good luck, I really hope it turns out that that baby isn't yours... I wouldn't wish that on any child!

As for her circumstances SHE choose on her own I do not care, she knew I am was not willing, I was not the type to have a child ... not to mention that we broke up giving a clear statement that I am not interested in her stalking and psycho issues ...yet she had the nerve to take over controlling the situation and do it anyway now asking for parental support? NOW THAT IS SICK! forget about childish .. how about mean, demented and evil intentions the least to say.


"Unprotected sex" is overrated in this part of the WORLD especially when it comes down to such incidents that can be corrected. Forget about the morning pill a sane woman can take it ... right?!? The funny thing I even told her more than once if she feels that she needs to take the pill I'll pay for it. So please spare me the schmuckerry bs attitude!!! I don't tolerate it.

Bottom line this type of behavior from such desperate and demented women need the most mental help from psychologists; and should have a RED tag on them (insane women)

If you were "not willing", then you should have taken precautions. Its cheaper to buy condoms then pay for birth control pills (and way cheaper than child support). This is just another example of how self centered and selfish you are.

You continue to question her mental health without ANY proof of anything other than the fact that YOU got her pregnant and she decided to keep the baby. You haven't a clue how hard a decision that was to make.

The "RED tag" should be placed on exploiters like you who want their pleasure from women without the responsibility that goes with it. I said earlier, one should not engage in sexual intercourse unless one is prepared to have a child.


Enough said, I’ve got the point in regards to this useless forum.

This is also typical of yourself centered attitude. Because you didn't find people who would agree with you that this woman is mentally ill because she decided to keep her baby. And because we called you out on your poor attitude, the forum is "useless". You have this need to strike back instead of admitting your responsibility. You strike back at this woman, you strike back at us. I hope you show this thread to your current girlfriend, but I'm sure you will be afraid to. She might see a side of you she hasn't seen before.

J_9 agrees: LMFAO!! A posh Ivy League School!! You don't have the brains for it, at least in the head that counts!!

This was meant as a total and complete disagree!!

This boy is the psycho, not the woman.

Use a condom it's called protecting YOURSELF!!

You don't want kids, cover it up or keep it in your pants.

I hope she takes you for all you have and then some!

very funny.

These women/girls are on the same page, they do not want children yet... They are truly sane and not desperate and low to get pregnant and ask for child support. They want to have children with whom they marry above all, definitely not from someone they date for months off an on. Actually one of them had an abortion once already ... her boyfriend at the time wanted a kid but he was not mature enough to afford it.

"Unprotected sex" is overrated in this part of the WORLD especially when it comes down to such incidents that can be corrected. Forget about the morning pill a sane woman can take it ... right?!? The funny thing I even told her more than once if she feels that she needs to take the pill I'll pay for it. So please spare me the schmuckerry bs attitude!!! I don't tolerate it.

So, since "unprotected sex" is overrated, you were responsible and used condoms, right? After all, you are aware that there is more than just pregnancy to be worried about when you are sleeping around, right? And you do know that birth control is not 100% effective, so you are prepared for the fact that the women you are sleeping around with may get pregnant even if they are on the pill, right?

Sure, right. You want to play around and not have to deal with the consequences. And if the woman you are currently dating is OK with that, then all I can say is that I am happy that you two have found each other, because you are a sorry excuse for a man. In fact, I am hoping that you are not this kid's father, because the baby deserves to have a better parent than you.