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jane2019
Aug 2, 2007, 10:56 AM
Hi, Well here is my question. I met this guy about 2 months ago through my mother and
His mother. I liked him a lot but didn't do anything because it felt awkward. Also later I
Found out he had a girlfriend. 2 months passed by and I heard he broke up with his girlfriend. I wasn;t sure though. I found his e-mail and started e-mailing him cards.
I din't tell him who I was. I also found his phone number. I called his cell phone I started
Calling him but didn't get the nerve to say anything so I kept hanging up. ANyhow he found out it was me. He is mad at me. He didn't understand why I didn't just call him and tell him who I was.I tried to explain to him that I wanted to but I felt weird because of the way we met. I said was sorry in an e-mail. FROm my e-mail this time. My question what can I do to try to get this guy to give me second chance... THank you:confused: I also told him I felt if he rejected me he would tell his mom I called him. HE said he wouldn't do that.He also said it wasn't the e-mails that bothered him it was the phone calls..

SpawnOfAzazel
Aug 2, 2007, 03:00 PM
The phone calls you made were reminiscent of prank calls, which is probably why he's angry. Leave the phone alone and send him an email saying whatever it is you want to say. If he does not return the email or call you, forget it.

jane2019
Aug 5, 2007, 05:12 PM
How many times should I say sorry to someone? I met this guy through family. I was scared to call him. So I emailed him without telling him who I am. I also tried calling him
And kept hanging up because I was nervous. Now he is mad at me . HOw many times
Should I say sorry to convince him to give me a second chance...

GlindaofOz
Aug 5, 2007, 05:14 PM
To be honest you will probably not get another chance. The behavior you exhibited was inappropriate and it probably freaked him out that someone he does not know began calling and emailing him.

Apologizing once is enough and leave it alone. I'm sure its an uncomfortable situation for all parties involved and you should just let it lie.

otto186
Aug 5, 2007, 05:15 PM
One time will be fine. Just explain to him what happened and why you hung up on him. I am sure you both will get a good laugh out of it:)

Skell
Aug 5, 2007, 05:16 PM
If you've sincerely said sorry to him and he won't accept it then I wouldn't say it anymore. YOu have tried and it is up to him whether he wants to forgive you now. No amount of saying sorry will make him change his mind. In fact it will probably only annoy him more.

You've admitted you made a mistake and if he was any type of guy worth being with then he would just get over it and realise you had your reasons for acting how you did.

If he can't accept that then don't worry about him. He'd probably only make your life a misery anyway if he lives with anger and resentment.

nicespringgirl
Aug 5, 2007, 05:25 PM
U didn't do anything wrong why you apologize for it.
All you did was being shy and didn't tell him you wrote to him-anything wrong with it?
He didn't get your vibe , that's his fault.his loss!
I won't get mad because someone did this to me.
I just don't see there is a reason to like him anymore! Move on, there are tons of good guys out there. Someone who will be appreciate you and love you.

jane2019
Aug 6, 2007, 06:32 AM
I e-mailed this guy without telling him who I was. Than I called hime and kept hanging
Up because I was nervous. This only happened 4 or 5 days. When he found it it was me
He told me If I Had called and told him who I was he would have spoken to me. I e-mailed
Him that I was sorry. I want to call him and tell him I'm sorry on the phone to. How
Can I convince this guy to give me another chance... Thank you

4answers
Aug 6, 2007, 08:33 AM
Well firstly he can't give you a second chance, there is no chance to give. I mean you have not based on what you said connected yet.

It would seem that you are letting your emotions get the better of you, it happens to us all but it makes you do things that once done you regret. Instead of doing things in a way you would like to do. If you continue, then you will spend more time apologising than doing what you want/need to do and that is get to know him.

Tip: When your emotions are running really high and you feel overwhelmed... STEP BACK, emotionaly take a step back, don't act on them. When your emotions are not as high then act on them, don't overthink things.

You like a guy and want to get to know him. Right ! Role reversal, imagine somebody liking you and wanting to get to know you, what would work... There is your answer.

Good luck.

nicespringgirl
Aug 6, 2007, 08:41 AM
TO be honest with you at this moment the more u try to convince him, the worse it will turn.
Just let it go, and I truly don't think u need to apologize for what u have done.

s_cianci
Aug 6, 2007, 09:08 AM
Just call him. He's probably willing enough to give you another chance. Just don't keep on being so shy and hanging up.

nbarry
Aug 6, 2007, 09:46 AM
I e-mailed this guy without telling him who I was. Than I called hime and kept hanging
up becuase I was nervous. This only happened 4 or 5 days. When he found it it was me
he told me If I Had called and told him who I was he would have spoken to me. I e-mailed
him that I was sorry. I want to call him and tell him I'm sorry on the phone to. How
can I convince this guy to give me another chance... Thank you
At least you were honest enough to admit it was you. But you must realize that he probably may think that , that was an immature thing to do. You apologized to him already and if he wants to give it a try with you then you must believe that in time he will let you know. But calling him to apologize AGAIN, is a little bit too much. He might think you're a.)stalker b.)needy or c.)annoying
Good luck

jane2019
Aug 6, 2007, 04:38 PM
I met this man and feel so connectd to him. DO you believe in love at first sight?

saraispiel19
Aug 6, 2007, 04:46 PM
Yes-- thαts how I met my husbαnd

jane2019
Aug 6, 2007, 04:49 PM
How did you guys get together? Who made the first move?

saraispiel19
Aug 6, 2007, 04:53 PM
αhh well it's α long story..

I wαs in the cαr of α current boyfriend in the student pαrking lot αt school αnd then I sαw him αnd I couldn't tαke my eyes off him-- me αnd the current guy we're going through stuff αlreαdy [he gαve me α promise ring αfter the 3rd month of dαting αnd wαs moving wαyyy too fαst] so I told him we would go on α "breαk"-- the next couple weeks I would see my whαt is now husbαnd in the hαllwαys I never sαid αnything I would just do α flirty smile αnd wαlk αwαy-- he noticed me αnd 2 weeks went by he αsked for my number αfter clαss αnd well we've been together ever since!

I would tell you in full detαil but like I sαid it's sooo long! :):):)

Bottom line: love αt first sight is reαl but it doesn't αlwαys work out for everyone

jrb252000
Aug 6, 2007, 04:57 PM
Yes me and my husband do... just make sure the feeling is mutal with him

jane2019
Aug 12, 2007, 05:37 PM
I met this guy through my mom and I really liked him. At that time he went back to a woman who he was engaged with that hurt him. Well that was 2 months ago. I heard he wasn't with this woman anymore. I was thinking about contacting him but I feel weird.
What if he is still with this woman and I was wrong. Or what if he tells his mom I called. His
Mom and my mom know each other. I know he liked me when we met. I heard he did. I
Also could tell by the way he looked at me. I'm just scared he turns me down and tells
His mom.. WHat should I do..

chuff
Aug 12, 2007, 06:27 PM
Let it go for another few months maybe 6 months and make sure that he really is breaking up with his ex or you will just become the person he turns to when he needs a side fling.

jane2019
Aug 16, 2007, 10:51 AM
Do you believe in Destiny?

Foxy459459
Aug 16, 2007, 11:07 AM
Most deff.

GlindaofOz
Aug 16, 2007, 11:08 AM
I do but I also believe it only takes us so far. I also believe that destiny is not an absolute and that we always have the power to change any "fated" situation.

victoria_mitchell
Aug 16, 2007, 12:11 PM
Yes but I believe that... We create our own destiny

saraispiel19
Aug 16, 2007, 12:14 PM
Yes- but I believe we αre in control of it-- eαch decision we mαke connects us to our finαl pαth:)

Emland
Aug 16, 2007, 12:22 PM
Nope.

I can't really support controlling one's own destiny, either. If it is predestined, then it will happen regardless of your efforts.

saraispiel19
Aug 16, 2007, 12:24 PM
Nope.

I can't really support controlling one's own destiny, either. If it is predestined, then it will happen regardless of your efforts.

αgh emlαnd αlwαys correcting me :p dαmn!

Emland
Aug 16, 2007, 12:28 PM
But that is what is great about opinion, Sarai. You can have any opinion you want. No one says mine is any better than yours.

saraispiel19
Aug 16, 2007, 12:29 PM
But that is what is great about opinion, Sarai. You can have any opinion you want. No one says mine is any better than yours.

yα but yours is αlwαys better thαn mine-- dαmn I need to get my brαin bαck from post-pαrtum..

kp2171
Aug 16, 2007, 01:16 PM
I have a relative to makes CRAPPY choices all the time, screws life up, and the fav phrase, when in the middle of it all is, "well, whatever happens, its God's will"...

Makes me want to puke.

no... actually, I think if God's will was for this person to make these awful choices, they'd have been born with their head already up their arse.

I believe we have opportunity and gifts. And we also make our own opportunity and mold ourselves.

People who talk about destiny sometimes talk about soul mates when it comes to relationships. I also cannot stand that talk. I have a great wife. Good marriage. But I know she's not the only person in the world for me and I know I'm not the only one for her. If something were to happen to me, I think she could find another mate that would be loving, kind, generous, humble... you know, like me. ;) we made a choice. A decision.

Ah... my point... is... uh... I think bad things happen to good people without it being their destiny. I think good things happen to good people, sometimes by chance and sometimes by effort. And I don't think belief or disbelief in God changes any of that.

And now I have a date with a brownie. Its destined to be gone very, very soon.

jane2019
Aug 17, 2007, 07:16 PM
Do you believe in taking chances? What if you really want somethng. Should you
Go after it ?

Fr_Chuck
Aug 17, 2007, 07:52 PM
Life is a chance, getting up and out of bed each morning is a chance.

Should you turn right or left, try to beat that yellow light or stop, everything thing we do is a chance.

Zell
Aug 18, 2007, 02:48 PM
Take a chance, but keep your witts about you.

GlindaofOz
Aug 18, 2007, 05:32 PM
My motto in life comes from a zen saying "leap and the net will appear". Honey let me tell it's the truth.

jane2019
Aug 18, 2007, 09:04 PM
I know someone who was dating a woman who he was engaged to. They broke up.She
Broke his heart? Than he goes back to her. Just your opinion what do you think . Could going back to an ex work. And how many should you go back till it's enough.. Thank you

Homegirl 50
Aug 18, 2007, 10:59 PM
If you keep going back and breaking up again, it's not working, which is why they keep breaking up.
When you get tired of the up and down drama, then it will be enough and you'll stop going back.

diya
Aug 19, 2007, 12:39 AM
Going back really doesn't work... momentarily it does... but long term.. A big NO. When you first break up, you have reasons to do so and when you get back, it still lingers on in the back of your mind... subconscious mind to be precise. So even if you work hard, it rarely works. Best is to chuck up what's broken and look for another experience.

s_cianci
Aug 19, 2007, 08:18 AM
Going back to an ex can work but it usually doesn't. As they always say, "it's broke for a reason." And repeatedly going back and getting into a cycle of breakups and reconciliations is definitely out. That just becomes a big power game and is totally unhealthy.

talaniman
Aug 19, 2007, 03:31 PM
I think moving on is healthier and wiser.

cougar
Aug 19, 2007, 03:49 PM
Once is one too many times. I'm sure it's terribly hard, but they are continually setting themselves up for heart break - moving on is the only direction they should be going.

Sori33
Aug 19, 2007, 03:51 PM
Well my sister is the same except for the engaged part and they got back together and broke up they never got back together so once is engouh

Ash123
Aug 19, 2007, 06:54 PM
1x is NORMAL.
2x is not inconceivable if the couple is facing obstacles all along.
3x there better be a heck of an excuse.
4x there better be a ring... and some couples therapy - the expensive kind.
5x you better get a full time shrink (or be under 21).

GlindaofOz
Aug 19, 2007, 06:58 PM
The only person I ever saw this work for was my best friend. She dumped her boyfriend after they dated for 3 months because he was taking her for granted. She did not speak to him for a few months and he was persistent and keep on her. She eventually went back to him and they are getting married.

With that being said it typically does not work and like I said she is the only person I've ever known to have it happen.

Ash123
Aug 19, 2007, 07:03 PM
PS - if engaged - and she broke his heart (Jane 2019 per chance?) I would say one thing: WHY did she do it? If it is 100% fixed and discussed go on.. if not... it's too dangerous to go back...

lostlove2
Aug 19, 2007, 07:53 PM
I think if you have a long history and it was a good relationship but then something caused your love to leave but then they realized that you were the one all along it can work out. Sometimes people think the grass is greener somewhere else but then see they were wrong.

talaniman
Aug 20, 2007, 06:06 AM
It depends on how bad I want something and the price you have to pay to get it. Some chances are worth the risk, some are not.

jane2019
Aug 21, 2007, 06:01 PM
Hi, I like this guy who I contacted but in a silly way anyhow we were talking and he told
Me howI should have just took a chance and how he would have spoken to me.. When we
Met I could tell he liked me by the way he looked at me. Anyhow he keeps going back to
His old girlfriend. A woman who treats him badly. I want to tell him why don't you take a
Chance with me. How do you think I should say it?

CaptainRich
Aug 21, 2007, 06:09 PM
Honey,
It is just my opinion, but I've watched you. And, quite frankly you're starting to look like a stalker.
Shouldn't you look for someone who is available and more responsive to your approaches?
I can understand love at first sight and the rhetoric about destiny, but seems to be just not the case.
Live your life, pursue your passions, and you'll find someone, probably when you least expect it. And, hopefully, it'll work for the you both.

Supreem
Aug 21, 2007, 06:11 PM
I think you would be making a mistake, if he's been going back to his ex... it sounds like the guy is a leech or just can't handle being single...

Dennis777
Aug 21, 2007, 07:13 PM
Hello.

You can't go from one relationship to another and make it work. Think of it this way, if he will dump her for you then how long will it be before he dumps you for the next Girl.

If you're his friend then talk him into pulling away from all dating until he has time to get over her and find himself. Then and only Then can he think about another relationship.

Dennis777