Does anyone know if it is possible for the father of a baby boy to have him circumcised without the mother's permission?

Papers have to be signed by at least one parent. I signed for both of my kids circumcisions, and my husband didn't want them to have the procedure. So yes, one parent can sign the papers against the other parents wishes.

Are you married to the parent?

Are you married to the parent?

Ahh good question. Thanks :)

Are you married to the parent?


No we are not married and I will leave my partner if needs be to protect my son from having the procedure. I can't believe that they would circumcise a baby unless the mother agreed to it

If you aren't married and can't come to some sort of an agreement on the issue, they won't do it.

If you were married, all they need is the consent of one of the parents.

Consent for this procedure must be signed by only one parent. You should address your concerns with your doctor and the hospital staff.

consent for this procedure must be signed by only one parent. You should address your concerns with your doctor and the hospital staff.

Thanks for giving the right answer.. lol. I thought it would matter whether you were married.

To the OP : listen to J_9!

Gold I think that you need to do whatever to protect your child. I applaud you, more women need to stick up for the children. Let the boyfriend know that it can always be done, later if need be. But I have 3 nephews that are not circumcised and they are adults now, and never no problems. Also we have 3 great nephews that are not circumcised and 1 is 5 the other 2 and 1 is a year old. IF I had known what I know now. My boys would have never been touched, I listened to the doctor and now after eductaing myself I feel that it is useless to do. Good Luck

Thanks everyone for your answers and advice. I really didn't think they could do it unless they had my permission. Now I know otherwise, I will get some sort of legal advice to see if I can stop him from doing it.

Thanks everyone for your answers and advice. i really didn't think they could do it unless they had my permission. now i know otherwise, i will get some sort of legal advice to see if i can stop him from doing it.

Also, lik J_9 said, talk to your hospital staff. I am sure they will try to work with you and your partner the best they can. :)

Also, lik J_9 said, talk to your hospital staff. I am sure they will try to work with you and your partner the best they can. :)


Thanks nautical. I have already spoken to them with him and even though they said that circumcision was not routine and also not necessary, he is still adamant about finding a doctor to do it so I will have to get some sort of legal advice. Perhaps the hospital might be able to advice me.

It is possible. It never hurts to ask :)

Why are you against it? Maybe if you researched why doctors perform it in hospitals, then you might not be reserved about it. I think besides it being a Jewish/Christian (some Christian) and Muslim thing, it's proven to be a very health thing too. I saw Steven Lewis talking about it at the aids convention. It's recommended, I think, to protect men from possible forms of infection? But of course, no one should be forced to have this done to their child. Your spouse should understand this. You two should talk about the pros and cons and then decide together.

If you do not sign an agreement of paternity at the hospital he has not legal rights until a judge grants them after a DNA test. I am not saying it is the best choice or the right choice. It is however, one way to protect your son from circumcision.

If you do not sign an agreement of paternity at the hospital he has not legal rights until a judge grants them after a DNA test. I am not saying it is the best choice or the right choice. It is however, one way to protect your son from circumcision.

Sign an agreement of paternity at the hospital? I have had two kids and have never had to sign such a paper, but then again I was in/just got out of labor, so I might not remember.

All you need is one parents consent for the circumcision, and the hospital will do it.

Why are you so against it first of all?

A lot of mothers don't think they have the right to make such an important and personal decision for their child... You can always have one done later, but its not like you can reverse the procedure later...

A lot of mothers dont think they have the right to make such an important and personal decision for their child...You can always have one done later, but its not like you can reverse the procedure later...


True you can get it done later, but Doctors suggest earlier is better, because babies, like getting their umbilical cord cut off, will not remember getting this done. You should speak to your doctors because a reason it's done in American hospitals is because it prevents men from getting some really nasty infections out there. And it will not harm your child. But again, no one should ever force you to do this. You should explain the reasons you don't want this done, but also hear out the reasons your partner does.

Yeah, his opinions count just as much as yours. That's why he is your partner

Goldnuggett They would not do this to a man with out putting him to sleep, but they will do this to your baby, with out so much as a pain shot. I say hell no don't let them do it. Tell your partner to go have some skin cut off his penis without a pain killer or awake and then see if he thinks a little baby should have this done! I don't care if it remembers it or not. I was stupid to allow this for my kids, If you are having doubts don't do it!

If the father is circumsized then he did go through it. Many american boys too... I don't really see what the big deal is. And think of it this way, the father probably wants his son to be like him, just as you would want your daughter to be like you. How would you like it if your husband (Partner) went and did something without your opinion? Because if you do go behind his back without talking to him, then you are only going to make things worse.

I think more and more people in general are getting this done... especially in the Western world because it's "cleaner" and safer for men. But I'm not saying that a man who does not get this done will get infections, but I am saying, as Doctors and hospitals do, that it is less likely to get certain infections on the penis after this procedure is performed.
You still haven't explained your logic for not wanting to get this done.

It's okay to not want your child to have this done... but have a good reason for your partner. And the child hurting is not a very good reason, because they hurt too when their cord is cut off, but that is for the best. Think of a good reason why you don't want this to be done, and then tell your partner.

From a male perspective I can understand that if a father has been circumcised then more than likely he may want his son to be circumcised too.

Perhaps rather than totally dismiss it you can have some discussion about it. Involve your BF, your doctor etc. and weigh up the pro's and cons. Don't just dismiss it without learning about it first. That is naivety.

At the end of the day though both you and the father need to do what's best for your child. You won't know that unless you make and informed decision.

Goldnuggett They would not do this to a man with out putting him to sleep, but they will do this to your baby, with out so much as a pain shot. I say hell no don't let them do it. Tell your partner to go have some skin cut off of his penis without a pain killer or awake and then see if he thinks a little baby should have this done! I don't care if it remembers it or not. I was stupid to allow this for my kids, If you are having doubts don't do it!

Wow now I feel bad for making my boys go through that. I mean, I always knew that they didn't do anything for pain, but just you saying that makes me feel bad for some reason.

I wouldn't say it is exactly a bad thing though. Circumsized boys are easier to keep clean. And with my boys it healed in under a week. Remember babies have a really good immune system (compliments of the mother) so they heal really fast. Aside from the pain of the actual procedure, the "wound" will/should heal pretty fast.

There are other things that are done to babies that can't be that comfortable, such as taking their tempurature rectally (which I know, doesn't compare to circumcision). There are lots of people that find it quite painful to have anything shoved in their rectum, don't you think it hurts babies too? I'm not making excuses for anyone, or anything like that, just throwing some things out there :)

I have 3 nephews and 2 great nephews that are not circumised and they have never had 1 infection that is my logic! Just think about it we were created the way we are for a reason. Why cut off parts of our bodies, surely every man is not so abnormal that he needs part of his penis removed, just thionk about it. Doctors are saying that the male body is flawed. I don't think so.

There are pro's and cons of it like any procedure and I think it is best to source those pros and cons from a medical expert. We can sit here all day and give our personal opinions but that may not be in the best interests of your son.

And in my opinion the father has as much a right to his opinion as you. Don't simply ignore his views.

I have 3 nephews and 2 great nephews that are not circumised and they have never had 1 infection that is my logic! Just think about it we were created the way we are for a reason. Why cut off parts of our bodies, surely every man is not so abnormal that he needs part of his penis removed, just thionk about it. Doctors are saying that the male body is flawed. I don't think so.


Uh... some people also smoke all their lives and never get lung cancer... but this does not rule out the people that do. So I'm sorry, but lol, you are not being logical! That being circumsised DOES protect people from certain infections (this is why in America, doctors do this). But this does not mean that those who do not get this done will result surely in an infection.

You see?

I have had uncircumcized boyfriends. They never mentioned an infection, but they did say that when they sweat they get a sort of "gunk" in there. In my opinion, that is kind of gross. I mean yeah sweating is normal, but to get a "gunk" in your genital area cannot be that good.

I have heard that uncircumsized boys do not have any risk for infection, and then again I have heard that they do. I have also heard that sometimes uncircumsized boys can get painful erections in the future. I don't know how true all of that is, but I had the procedure on my boys done, just in case.

I think this is precisely why she needs to talk to someone who is an expert on all this. Nautical star with all due respect your post above just states things that you have heard. It may or may not be true. But speculating it here won't help the OP make and informed decision.

I think this is precisely why she needs to talk to someone who is an expert on all this. Nautical star with all due respect your post above just states things that you have heard. It may or may not be true. But speculating it here wont help the OP make and informed decision.

I know it states what I have heard. That's why I put "This is what I heard".. or something to that effect.

Bottom line, the best thing to do is discuss the pros and cons with a doctor. At least discuss the issue. If you make a decision for both you and your partner, and don't let him have any say, it could cause problems.

And I'm not saying your wrong or you didn't state you 'heard' it. I was just using it to illustrate a point.

A decision on medical procedures such as this are hard to thrash out over an internet site. It really should be an individual decision base don medical advice with the best interests of the child at heart.

Skell agrees: We posted at the same time. I agree.

Apparently we rated at the same time too :)

Just in case I get dust, smoke etc in my lungs I could wear a mask all of the time. I might get cancer so do I take chemo now. Do you see my point? My husband or no one else have rights to my child, when they are going to torment them.Everyone knows what my view are. Here are some links for the op. Circumcision - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circumcision) and Circumcision Information and Resource Pages (http://www.cirp.org/) Good luck

Just in case I get dust, smoke etc in my lungs I could wear a mask all of the time. I might get cancer so do I take chemo now. Do you see my point? My husband or no one else have rights to my child, when they are going to torment them.Everyone knows what my view is.Here are some links for the op. Circumcision - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circumcision) and Circumcision Information and Resource Pages (http://www.cirp.org/) Good luck

You don't think the father of your baby has any rights to your child? If he is the father, he has just as much rights as you do. -not trying to fight- :)

Nope nali I brought my children in this world. Their well being is my final say period. He knew this before we had kids and accepted it.

Comments on this post
bushg agrees: doctors opinions vary just like the rest of the worlds do, not every doctor believes in circumcisions. Thank god my neices didn't that is why her little boy is still intact!

Now your making it sound as though getting the procedure done is a bad thing. Why?
I have two nephews who have had the operation done and I'm sure they are just as perfect as your nieces kids.

Im circumcised and I still feel my old fella is intact as you put it. In fact I wouldn't change the way he looks for all the tea in china. OK.. maybe an inch or two.

But you kind of sound like it is a real bad or dirty thing. That's your view but that's it. No more correct than anyone's else's.

Nope nali I brought my children in this world. Their well being is my final say period. He knew this before we had kids and acceppted it.

Well that was nice of him. Most fathers would try and fight for what they think is right (whether what they think is right is actually right or not.. lol).

When it comes to the kids my husband usually gives me the final say as well, but I usually hear him out first, and if he makes good points and proves his case, I will most always go with whatever his idea is on whatever subject.

Nope nali I brought my children in this world. Their well being is my final say period. He knew this before we had kids and acceppted it.

He had a big part in it too you know??

Skell It works for us. We have been together for 19 1/2 years so he must not mind me being in control of our kids. He was not forced to marry me nor to have kids.

Comments on this post
bushg agrees: doctors opinions vary just like the rest of the worlds do, not every doctor believes in circumcisions. Thank god my neices didn't that is why her little boy is still intact!

Now your making it sound as though getting the procedure done is a bad thing. Why?
I have two nephews who have had the operation done and im sure they are just as perfect as your nieces kids.

Im circumcised and i still feel my old fella is intact as you put it. In fact i wouldnt change the way he looks for all the tea in china. OK.. maybe an inch or two.

But you kinda sound like it is a real bad or dirty thing. Thats your view but thats it. No more correct than anyones elses.
Didn't say it was better not one time. Your sex may be better. I have heard/read that it takes away from the male pleasure. Dirty no. Just unnecessary, Yes I do think it is bad. Same as if I pulled my teeth to prevent tooth decay. Just does not make much sense to me. If there is a problem then circumcise. Under sedation. Babies feel pain can you imagine how they suffer? If I have tooth decay then I can have them pulled/fixed under pain management.

I just found something on the internet stating that many practitioners are starting to use some form of anesthesia for circumcision. I'm not trying to say anyone is right or wrong (at all) but I thought it might be a good read.

Anesthesia for Circumcision (http://www.drspock.com/article/0,1510,23689,00.html)

I don't feel there is anything wrong with curcumsizing your little boy, but that is just my opinion. This is one of those topics where everyone has their own opinion and everyone is going to stand their ground. And everyone has that right :)

Lol yes you are right Nauti, I will not wavier and what people choose to do with their children is their choice. But the op posted and I gave her my opinion. Not popular but it is my opinion.

lol yes you are right Nauti, I will not wavier and what people choose to do with their children is their choice. But the op posted and I gave her my opinion. not popular but it is my opinion.

I had to spread the rep hun, because I wanted to give you a good one. But everyone has a right to their own opinion and even though you think yours is not popular (which there are a lot of women that feel the same way as you do, so it is quite popular), I think your opinion is still valid :)

True you can get it done later, but Doctors suggest earlier is better, because babies, like getting their umbilical cord cut off, will not remember getting this done. You should speak to your doctors because a reason it's done in American hospitals is because it prevents men from getting some really nasty infections out there. And it will not harm your child. But again, no one should ever force you to do this. You should explain the reasons why you don't want this done, but also hear out the reasons why your partner does.

Very true, I had my son circumsized, but a lot of people I know chose not to and that was their reasoning... I was just giving and unbiased opinion before.

didn't say it was better not one time. Your sex may be better. I have heard/read that it takes away from the male pleasure. Dirty no. Just unnecessary, Yes I do think it is bad. Same as if I pulled my teeth to prevent tooth decay. Just does not make much sense to me. If there is a problem then circumcise. Under sedation. Babies feel pain can you imagine how they suffer? If I have tooth decay then I can have them pulled/fixed under pain management.

Well I certainly don't need any more pleasure. I don't have the slightest problem with your view. I think it is great and you have given the OP lots to think about.

I did however take offense to your terminology suggesting that a circumcised penis is in some way damaged. Not intact as you put it.

You seem to be taking the view that I am arguing with your views against circumcision. Not at all. The only point I made was that it is a case by case scenario and the OP should talk to her doctor. Nothing more.

If something is removed I consider it not intact is all I meant, lol not that you were damaged beyond enjoyment. Dreamer kind of had my feathers ruffled, with his claims. No problem though. My intentions was to support the op not to offend anyone one.

Sign an agreement of paternity at the hospital? I have had two kids and have never had to sign such a paper, but then again I was in/just got out of labor, so i might not remember.

All you need is one parents consent for the circumcision, and the hospital will do it.
Are you married? If you are you would never be asked to sign one.

Are you married? If you are you would never be asked to sign one.

Ah okay. Yeah I'm married, so that makes sense :p

I think more and more people in general are getting this done...especially in the Western world because it's "cleaner" and safer for men. But I'm not saying that a man who does not get this done will get infections, but I am saying, as Doctors and hospitals do, that it is less likely to get certain infections on the penis after this procedure is performed.
You still haven't explained your logic for not wanting to get this done.

It's okay to not want your child to have this done...but have a good reason for your partner. And the child hurting is not a very good reason, because they hurt too when their cord is cut off, but that is for the best. Think of a good reason why you don't want this to be done, and then tell your partner.
You are jew or muslimare not you?More than 85% of European men are not circumcised.If you think the USA is the Western civilization you are very mistaken.

GV70 disagrees: it's proven to be a very health thing too. It's recommended...who proved it as imperative

And then you posted "You are jew or muslimare not you?More than 85% of European men are not circumcised.If you think the USA is the Western civilization you are very mistaken."

GV70, I'm not sure why you're disagreeing with me when I am also saying that it's healthy and recommended, but not something anyone "has" to get done. And no, don't take it that America is "the" Western Civilization, as you are angered by. I hope though, that you don't have anything against the great nation of America. I am Christian. But why do you need to know what religion I am?

I said, if you read correctly, that "more and more" people are getting this done. This means that "there are more" people that are getting it done than before. Does it not? And in Europe this is the case too. It just means that the numbers are "increasing". Please go back to the post and read it again so you can calm down.

There are more people getting this done than before. And your illogic of how "no, 85 percent of European men are not circumcised" does not make sense. Back in the day, less people got this operation, which means that less grown men today would have it done anyway. So, you have to look at how the numbers have increased, and how many children in Europe are starting to get circumcised. You should also consider that, back in the day, not as many hospitals offered to do this as they do today.

So more newborn boys have it done today in Europe, than the grown men there.
Does this help you? Are you okay?

Anyway, I am in Australia where only 5% of boys are circumcised. The United States is the only country in the world with such a high rate of circumcision. It is an uneccessary, cruel and barbaric mutilation of a healthy child's genitals that has been carried over from the dark ages. I went to the Family Court and they have issued an order preventing my partner from circumcising our son.

Was this pregnancy unexpected? If not, why didn't you discuss this with your partner before trying to conceive? I'm very sorry you and your partner couldn't come to an agreement without legal action.
As for the right or wrong debate, if I ever had a son I would personally get him circumcised. I have never met a male that felt traumatized from a procedure they don't remember, or feel like any less of a man. I would rather have it be a minor procedure as a baby, than have to think about my adult male son, for whatever reason, wanting it done and then it won't be so minor. I'm sure no one is going to argue that circumcisions are painful for a baby, but don't you think birth is also pretty painful for a baby? You can't tell me that being forced through a hole only the fraction of the size of your body can feel good. But I've personally never heard of any one complaining that their birth was traumatic. Just my opinion. :)

Congrats for getting your court order goldnugget. Things like this are personal preference and it all comes down to that you didn't want it done, so congrats for not having to get it done.

My husband is not circumcized and is having complications with that. He has to go into Urology for a check up and to schedule to have a circumcision done next week because he has had enough of the crap that its causing him. He told me he wished his mom had just had it done while he was a baby. He is really scared. Wish him luck! :)

Anyway, I am in Australia where only 5% of boys are circumcised. The United States is the only country in the world with such a high rate of circumcision. It is an uneccessary, cruel and barbaric mutilation of a healthy child's genitals that has been carried over from the dark ages. I went to the Family Court and they have issued an order preventing my partner from circumcising our son.

Where did you get that statistic from? Id like to see. Im also from Australia and find it hard to believe it is only 5%.

And that's only your opinion Nugget. There are many arguments for and against and frankly I find your description uncalled for. It wasn't too cruel or barbaric for my nephews. They're fine.

Congrats for getting your court order goldnugget. Things like this are personal preference and it all comes down to that you didnt want it done, so congrats for not having to get it done.

My husband is not circumcized and is having complications with that. He has to go into Urology for a check up and to schedule to have a circumcision done next week because he has had enough of the crap that its causing him. He told me he wished his mom had just had it done while he was a baby. He is really scared. Wish him luck! :)

OMG, how sore is that going to be for him. My son got circumcized at 3 weeks and he was none the wiser, he had no idea, just a couple of days soreness but it' last him a lifetime. However, in my religion it is compulsory to get this done.

Wish him and u all the best and hope he's on very strong painkillers after it - lol