All right people. I'm feeling really down so I thought I'd come here to tell you my story and maybe get a bit of advice..

I've been going out with my girlfriend for a year and a half.. she's 15 and I'm 16. Our relationship had everything, we went to each other's house nearly every day, we went on trips together and we were very happy with each other, or so it seemed.

About 4 weeks ago (I was just about to go on holiday), she suggested going out casually (we still see each other but see other people too). I said no, definitely not as I couldn't share her with other people. So that was that, we were still together.. going out steady.

When I came home from holiday (2 weeks ago), everything was back to normal. We went to each others houses and stuff and we were just acting like we usually would. Then one day she brought it up again, only this time she suggested that we go on a "break". She told me the reason for this was that we can see other people for a while. She told me she's only 15 and wants to see other people at this age.

I'm very hurt by this. I can't take my mind off her.

I have also done something very stupid.. I don't text her or phone her but when she logs onto MSN, I chat away to her. I've told her she's my everything etc etc, and I know I shouldn't have done this as soon as I read some topics on this forum.

Let her have her space. The more you push her the more likely she is to think that you really are not the right guy for her right now. She's probably just thinking that she's only 15 and doesn't need to be in a serious relationship.

You should respect her feelings and if she decides to break up let it happen and find another nice girl to date.

I know. She told me that she doesn't want a serious relationship at 15 years old but if we go on a long break, she will realise what she's missing...

Not if you keep chatting with her...

And honestly she may decide that she's not missing much. You need to be prepared for both outcomes.

That's why I'm going to try my best not to talk to her. It's going to be very difficult, but I'm going to do it.

I know. I love her very much however and I can't imagine my life without her. We have spent every day since we started going out with each other.

Just remember that its for the best.

There is one thing you will learn through you life-taking your time and waiting.
You two are still young, let her see more in her life and give her a chance, also give you a chance to see more.
Don't be blinded by love, don't rush things. Just give her some time, wait a little bit.
Your personal growth is more important at this point, so either she comes back after a while or leaves you, it's all part of life, you will grow stonger.

Just let the break take it's course. Take some time for yourself and enjoy it.:)

I will try to enjoy it. The most difficult thing is at night, when I think about how much I love her, I can't sleep. I know this girl is the one for me, even though I am only 16.

I do think she'll see what she is missing. It might take her a month or two, but she will see what she is missing.

Hang in there DazzaB and ponder this as you go:

When we are teenagers the pain is deep
But the learning curve is steep.

Our first lover we wish to marry,
We are sure she's the one and it feels a little scary.

Our hormones rage and our hearts beat -
We dream of a life together where our thoughts are deep.

Romeo and Juliet were just teens after all
And they got so overwhelmed they both took a fall.

The thing is that if they had hung around until they were a few years older
They might have seen that as you grow life makes you bolder.
It also makes you wiser.
So, hang in there in a few years you'll be old enough to drink budweiser...
And think of the girl you were sure you wanted to marry -
Because in a few years you might look back and be glad you are very...
Very... free.

Just a thought.

And when we are older we still have troubles... Here's some advice that may be of use in the future too:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/how-break-up-survive-101-use-you-wish-114179.html

You had fun and now its over... with her at least, but there will be others. Enjoy your youth and don't waste it on being carried away with your emotions. It get better if you act right.

I've been going out with my girlfriend for a year and a half.. she's 15 and I'm 16.

I'm going to break the bad news to you. At your age this was never going to be a life long relationship. Truth is you'll probably be in more relationships and some will probably last longer. But that doesn't mean you can't pick up a few pointers from this and learn for the next girl.


Our relationship had everything, we went to each other's house nearly every day, we went on trips together and we were very happy with each other, or so it seemed.

Tip number 1. Do not go to each other's house everyday. If you talk make it short. If you tell her your going to be there at a certain time, and it's not important that you be there at that time show up late by 15 minutes. Keep her guessing. End conversations with her and don't always be available.


About 4 weeks ago (I was just about to go on holiday), she suggested going out casually (we still see each other but see other people too). I said no, definitely not as I couldn't share her with other people. So that was that, we were still together.. going out steady.

Tip 2. When she or any girl says that a couple of things are already happening. One is she is already thinking about it so there are problems already. Second is she is getting her courage up to end it. This sounds like it was a "dry run" to see how you would react, what she would feel like and how it would all play out. In the future if this type of question is posed to you, your answer should be "That's a great idea, I've been interested in seeing someone else myself" or "That's a great idea, I've got a lot of other things I'd like to do but I can't juggle them all and see you."


When I came home from holiday (2 weeks ago), everything was back to normal. We went to each others houses and stuff and we were just acting like we usually would. Then one day she brought it up again, only this time she suggested that we go on a "break". She told me the reason for this was that we can see other people for a while. She told me she's only 15 and wants to see other people at this age.

It's so hard to explain to people your age because you don't even know what real life is yet. I can't tell you because you haven't lived it but once your out of high school you won't even remember this girl. In reality it won't take you that long but the standards you live by are not realistic when applied to the real world. That is why I hope you can learn from this for future relationships.


I'm very hurt by this. I can't take my mind off her.

Sounds like you need Chuff's get over the ex advice. Here it is...

I'd recommend making a list of things that you want to do in the short term only. Hang that list up so that you see it when you go to sleep and when you wake up and start working on those things. The more you focus on those things the better you'll start to feel and less you'll think of the ex.

I also recommend that if you don't have a gym membership you get one. Working out is a great way to get out of the house but also make yourself feel better. Get on a elliptical or stairmaster and just go for 10 or 15 minutes. Get off and rest and then do it again for another 10 or 15 minutes. I promise you, you won't be thinking about anything else other than what your doing. Plus it's healthy for you. Even if you don't get a gym membership take a walk, and go for long ones if you have the time. It gets you out the house, clears you head, and makes is healthy for you. If you have something else you like that's physical do that. Anything that creates motion in your body is good for you.



I have also done something very stupid.. I don't text her or phone her but when she logs onto MSN, I chat away to her. I've told her she's my everything etc etc, and I know I shouldn't have done this as soon as I read some topics on this forum.

Well I don't know if I would call that stupid. You at least learned not to do it. Some people have yet to get that after several posters tell them over and over. But yes you are right in that this was the wrong thing to do. One of the problems you have created was that you were always there for her. You became so available that you never gave her space, or a time to think about your, or a time to wonder what you were doing. You were always there.

Secondly, telling her that she is your everything works awesome in the movies. In real life it get's your butt kicked to the curb. Women want a man that is solid, and one that has to tell her he needs her or she is everything to him makes him look soft. The other problem is you can't say to her "I don't need you" or "you are not my everything" because that only states the obvious that you do need her. So you have to show her by your actions that you are strong and don't need her by getting out of there and not talking to her. You must disappear.

But this time is also for you. It's a time to rediscover who you are and what you want that has nothing to do with her. So take your new found freedom, rebuild yourself, rediscover yourself and create some traits that will make you stronger in the future.

Yes, but we have agreed that this isn't the end. We went on a break last year for a month and it done us the world of good...

I'm going to do the "silence is golden" technique. I know that she will come crawling back soon enough and I will take her back. I will take your advice on not making myself so available. This is probably the reason it has came to this, we seen too much of each other thus making the relationship boring.

If she does come back to me and we get back together, and it doesn't work out... then I know it's for the best. But I think I owe the relationship that one more last chance.

Yes, but we have agreed that this isn't the end..

That sounds like an one way agreement to me.



We went on a break last year for a month and it done us the world of good...

So the other guy she was interested in did like her back?


I'm going to do the "silence is golden" technique. I know that she will come crawling back soon enough and I will take her back.

She may very well but how many times can she take a break with you?


I will take your advice on not making myself so available. This is probably the reason it has came to this, we seen too much of each other thus making the relationship boring.

Yes you are right... and you are learning. Good news here.


If she does come back to me and we get back together, and it doesn't work out... then I know it's for the best. But I think I owe the relationship that one more last chance.

You might, I can't make that decsion for you, but she made the break up call... not you. So you owe the relationship nothing at this point. It is her that needs to prove what the relationship is worth. You've done everything... and more that you can do for the relationship. Time for her to step up and hold her end of the bargin.

That sounds like an one way agreement to me.

No, we both stated that we would see how this break goes and that we will get back soon to see how we both feel.




So the other guy she was interested in did like her back?

I actually did the dumping back then. I made a big mistake and was made to pay for it.




She may very well but how many times can she take a break with you?

That's what my worry is. If this will happen again..



Yes you are right....and you are learning. Good news here.



You might, I can't make that decsion for you, but she made the break up call....not you. So you owe the relationship nothing at this point. It is her that needs to prove what the relationship is worth. You've done everything.....and more that you can do for the relationship. Time for her to step up and hold her end of the bargin.

You're right and I will try to avoid her until she contacts me. She texts me every night to tell me how much she loves me and to say night.


My quotes in bold...

At your age - less is more with the opposite sex.

But now's the time for learning kid... So, do what you must.
One day this may all look different.

And one note: Don't get anybody pregnant.

You guys just need your own space.
Don't go see each other every day don't go out all the time.
This is what happened with me and my ex we spent way too much time together and I really got sick of it I couldn't see any of my friends it was always him him him him.
And I now know why we didn't work out. It was seeing each other all the time it didn't make things speacial when we did see each other. And we just fought.
I know I wanted a break so I could go meet new people and make mew friends.
But I was not and will not sleep around.
Maybe this is all it is too much time together

Yeah, I think so as well Sarah. I really enjoy her company, so after I make her sweat a little and let her get used to being single again, I think we will give us another go.

Umm... why are you looking for a life-long commitment at 16? I made the same mistake but keep in mind that at 16, people say things and they usually end up being alf truths. I sure hope it'll work for you guys and I hope you'll be the 1 out of 20 who will marry their sweetheart from when they were teens. But you're gonna have to be prepared for the worst.

Umm... why are you looking for a life-long commitment at 16? I made the same mistake but keep in mind that at 16, people say things and they usually end up being alf truths. I sure hope it'll work for you guys and I hope you'll be the 1 out of 20 who will marry their sweetheart from when they were teens. But you're gonna have to be prepared for the worst.

Exactly! @ the age of 16, it's too early to look for a life long commitment.
When you start college, begin your job, enter the real world, you will change and grow.
U can't help changing, everyone experiences it. Nothing is easy in life, you can make things happen and see things beautifully but again it's not simple as you have thought.
Life without waves,up and down is not the one you want it to be.

Ok, so now my time to ask your advice..

I have agreed with myself not to contact her. But every night she sends me a message to tell me how much she loves me and to say night. Should I reply to these?

Also, if she texts me during the day to ask me what I'm doing, should I reply? I'm afraid if I don't reply, she will give up on me..

She has told me that she taken advantage of me lately because she sees me every day and she wants a break to see what she's missing.. She has told me that once she sees what's she's missing, she will come back and ask me to start seeing her again.. When this happens what should I do? Tell her no to keep her sweating, tell her I'll think about it or what?

I really do want this girl back in my life. We got on very well and didn't row that much. I understand that she wants to be single for a while..

Of course you can reply. But as a friend and minimal.

Let her go.
Would you want her back after she tests out other guys? If it works out with the other guy, she's gone. If it doesn't work out, she's comes back to you? If you do take her back you are a butt kisser and she will never have respect for you...

Face the hard cold facts - Its over

All right, so I had been in no contact with her at all today (she had texted me twice to say she loves me and she's thinking of me to which I didn't reply to) until she logs onto MSN tonight. I don't speak to her and after about half an hour, she starts to speak to me.

Her cousin is up (she only sees him once a year) and she tells me that he's going home on Thursday. She suggested that I come over tomorrow to see him before he goes home (when her cousin is up, I usually see him every day). I told her, "we agreed we weren't going to see each other any more".. that was really difficult to do and I really wanted to go but I knew that she was the one that wants this break, and I want to make her sweat.

Have I done the right thing? Or should I go tomorrow and try to sort this out?

You're doing the right thing. If she wants the break then let her have it. As for seeing her cousin, maybe you should... well, if you can find a way to get around her.

You need to step back and take a hard look at how you are being used, manipulated and led around by the nose. Absolutely no contact with her at all. Disappear from her life and get your own.

Dude, I don't have time right now to give you the Chuffing you deserve. But this girl is using your a$$. She is stringing you along, keeping you in her emotional web and making you play this game with yourself. Just stop. She wanted a break to see other people. In other words, more accurate words she dumped you. She didn't think you were good enough for her. She will only think your good enough if she dates other people and they become bigger wusses then you so she can manipulate them as well. Then she will do the same damn thing. She doesn't care one damn bit about you, and if you don't believe me ask yourself this... "Would I Dazza treat her like this?" I'm not psychic, I know you wouldn't. Why? Because you know it's not right to play with people's emotions and you wouldn't do that to someone that you care about. Well she obviously feels differently then you, so nut up and put an end to this BS by this bottom feeder.

Ok people, here I return. Now, what you lot doesn't realise is that she's got a lot to think about at the minute.

Her mum has a new boyfriend who is going on holidays with them (they're going in 10 days), her dad is in hospital feeling ill, all her dogs are dying (2 of them have already died), she's going to see her favourite band in concert very soon, she's working every day (she only started the job).. she's only 15 so I'm assuming that she has a lot to think about...

Now, she wants a break to see what she's missing.. I don't care what any of you say, she DOES care about me. She sees me every day and she has got so used to us being together that she is now taking me for granted. She didn't dump me, because when I told her we're better off breaking up completely, she didn't want to.. she says that we'll be better than ever when we're both ready (I also told her that I was taking her for granted too)...

So, to make this break, a "break".. I need to be not talking to her.. I want her to see what she's missing. When I'm at home, I think about her because I have nothing else to do.. I usually end up texting her then.. when I don't text her, she texts me and that sets me off again...

So what should I do? Block her from MSN? Not reply to her messages, go out and not be about home very much?

Any advice is appreciated as I'm really struggling at the moment. I have met two other girls since we fell out... I don't like any of them.

I know you went out with her a long time, and it hurts like HECK...
Worse than anything you can think of... BUT:

She's not missing anything - you are. (Don't let her make that happen.)

You're 15, so enjoy that. 90% of the planet is older than you.

To do list: There's... sports, girls, school, girls, video games, girls, girls, girls, school, friends, movies, girls, and pizza... (Not necessarily in that order.) And girls.


Block your MSN, stay off the computer awhile, get in a fight with your sibling, make your parents buy you something to cheer you up and be PUMPED! You have your whole life ahead of you.
TRUST ME. If you ignore her, and be happy (fake it if you have to) it will
Be the best (and only thing) you can do to make her think about you... And you now need to go (try) enjoy yourself...

On top of getting over her manipulative ways, you'll come to realize in a few years or so how you want to be treated. You shouldn't settle for anything less, don't sell yourself short. In a few years you're going to be so busy (especially when Junior - Senior year) when you are applying for colleges and the last thing you want on your mind is some girl who is stringing you along while you have your own stuff to do.

High school can be hard, but it's more of a test to see how you can learn and figure out how to handle the real world. I've been out almost two years now and I still have trouble, as most people much older STILL need help.

Go hit up a sports team, get active, get fit, keep your mind, body and attitude healthy and clean.

Think about it like this, what's more attractive than being a smart, confident (but not cocky) individual with a real world outlook on life and an education to take you far.

Something I wish I did was take some lower division college courses while still in high school. I was in a class and there was a SOPHOMORE in high school in my same class. He was taking 9 units (3 classes) during summer courses (6 weeks)

Yeah, you lose some of your free time to... sit and do nothing, but if you started NOW and get all of your lower division courses complete, especially at a far cheaper price than any uc or state.. you're set bro. You'll not only go into a jc, uc or state with your general ed complete (or at least close to complete) You can finish a 4 year college in 2 if you stick to it.

You're 15, don't worry about girls and love and sex and all that stuff.

Kevin

Oh Dazza,

How lucky are you. Today I DOOOOOOOO have time time to give you the proper Chuffing you deserve. Hold on tight. Dazza it's nothing personal you are about to be Chuffed.





Ok people, here I return. Now, what you lot doesn't realise is that she's got alot to think about at the minute.

God she uses, you like an emotional tampon. Your actually making excuses for her behavior. She has enough time to text you, and MSN you, and toy with you, and throw her emotional garbage at you. Yet you take it and use it as an excuse for her behavior. Do you think the guy she's really looking for acts like this?


Her mum has a new boyfriend who is going on holidays with them (they're going in 10 days),

Wow she's going on vacation. Such a tough life.


her dad is in hospital feeling ill,

And yet she still finds time to get on MSN and talk to you while dumping all her problems on you.


all her dogs are dying (2 of them have already died),

Well the dog lover in Chuff can certainly relate. Losing a dog sucks. It sucks bad. When I lost my dog I didn't have anyone to dump my emotional pain on. I had to suck it and work through it. I'm glad she had you. To bad if the reversed happen you wouldn't have her.


she's going to see her favourite band in concert very soon,

While that certainly is stressful.


she's working every day (she only started the job).. she's only 15 so I'm assuming that she has a lot to think about...

I work everyday. Even today on my day off I got a call about some damage at where I work. I still don't go around using people to be my emotional tampon while I look for someone else.


Now, she wants a break to see what she's missing..

Then why doesn't she take that break? All she seems to do is text, and IM you. It's like she has all these issues and she found somebody that will listen to all of it. As a woman that certainly isn't something she would find attractive in a man but it certainly something she would like to have around so she doesn't have to deal with the issues.



I don't care what any of you say, she DOES care about me.

Oh my.


Hold... on... a min... ute.

Oh man that was funny. Thanks, I really needed that.

It turns out that some vandals did a bunch of damage at my place of business overnight. The worst part is I don't even own what they vandalized so I have to break it to the guy that does own it, and it's thousands of dollars worth of damage. Normally I wouldn't post something like that here but since you like being an emotional tampon I figured I'd throw some of my problems at you as well. You don't mind do you? I mean after all I do care about you so that's all that matters I just feel like I'm missing something if I don't answer other posters.

Hey tampon, wake up. She's using you. She does NOT care about you and all you are is a way for her to dump her problems. If she did care she would not have dumped you... yeah remember that, she dumped you.


She sees me every day and she has got so used to us being together that she is now taking me for granted.

That's her story huh.

My story is you made yourself so available that she had no reason and no challenge in the relationship. But she also didn't want to get rid of the only guy she knew that was her tampon so she said "I need a break."


She didn't dump me,

Oh God please take the show on the road. Tampon I can't stop laughing.

A break is another word for dump. Call it what ever word you want you are not in a relationship with her so by that very definition. But for you act I'll accept that you got breaked which I guess means you got broke. She broke you. Congratulations, you're a broken man.


because when I told her we're better off breaking up completely, she didn't want to..

You don't really think she was giving up her emotional tampon, do you?


she says that we'll be better than ever when we're both ready

How nice of her. You know what's funny about that besides the line itself. It's the same line every other girl uses when they want to keep there emotional tampon stringing along hoping for false hope.

Guess what. It's working! Sure you are making excuses for her, telling all of us with more life experience that we are wrong, your actually defending her stupid behavior and the way she treats you.

Score one for her and a big fat zero for her emotional tampon.


(I also told her that I was taking her for granted too)...

Oh God.

So she threw you under the bus, and told her to drive over you again.

I can just imagine how you said it, "your Dad's dying, you are about to go on vacation, and now I'm taking you for granted, you are right I you need a break. Contact me anytime."


So, to make this break, a "break".. I need to be not talking to her..

Finally a grain of sanity in all this.


I want her to see what she's missing.

Exactly. Now we are getting somewhere.


When I'm at home, I think about her because I have nothing else to do.. I usually end up texting her then..

Well stop texting her.

Here is my get over break up solution. I'd recommend making a list of things that you want to do in the short term only. Hang that list up so that you see it when you go to sleep and when you wake up and start working on those things. The more you focus on those things the better you'll start to feel and less you'll think of the ex.

I also recommend that if you don't have a gym membership you get one. Working out is a great way to get out of the house but also make yourself feel better. Get on a elliptical or stairmaster and just go for 10 or 15 minutes. Get off and rest and then do it again for another 10 or 15 minutes. I promise you, you won't be thinking about anything else other than what your doing. Plus it's healthy for you. Even if you don't get a gym membership take a walk, and go for long ones if you have the time. It gets you out the house, clears you head, and makes is healthy for you. If you have something else you like that's physical do that. Anything that creates motion in your body is good for you.



when I don't text her, she texts me and that sets me off again...

Stop accepting texts.



So what should I do? Block her from MSN?


Yes.



Not reply to her messages,

Yes.


go out and not be about home very much?

Yes... or do things that need to be done at home.


Any advice is appreciated as I'm really struggling at the moment. I have met two other girls since we fell out... I don't like any of them.

Forget about girls and figure out what you want from a girl. Also figure out what you want from yourself and what you will accept and will not accept from a woman.

she's only 15 so I'm assuming that she has a lot to think about...
Leave this 15 year old alone and broaden your horizons. There is agreat big world with a lot of fun stuff to do and your way to young to get stuck on a female. You had fun, great. Nows the time to move on, and stop letting her put you on hold while she does her thing. How old are you anyway??

He's 16

Yes, he is 16 and they have been dating for 1.5 years.

Well, kids these days... back in the old days, I wasn't even allowed to talk to boys at the age of 15,LOL.:D

Ok well as you know we're going out "casually".. but after reading Chuff's posts I've realised how bad she has treated me! I haven't been in contact with her since Saturday night and she hasn't bothered to text me or anything..

We aren't on a break any more we are going "casually"... should I ring her and tell her that we should go on the break she wanted? Or just leave it until she contacts me?

What would be the point? Casually date someone else.

Give her the break she says she wants and you start seeing other people. At your age there's no need to go exclusive. You've got lots of options so exercise them.

Going through the same thing and it suks! A lot! I'm 18 and she's 16 and she said the same thing although I have smothered her the past 2 weeks I'm stopping by not calling her or txting and I even deleted mysapce lol so do the best thing for you and stop all contact and gl hope you get through it!

Ps: many other girls out there although I can't take my own advice

Has any one noticed how a simple break, turned into casual dating? That's how easy you can move from LUV, to being put in the friend zone. Fellas especially the younger guys, when a female says break, don't do anything but give her what she wants and seek your own happiness. Hanging around waiting gets you confused, and makes you look downright silly waiting for a bone. Leave the drama and chaos behind you, and move forward and enjoy the freedom of being a happy single guy. Dazz, are you a happy single guy??

Hey, a very similar thing happened to me but the other way around when I was 16, I was devistated when we split because he wanted to see other people but I moved on and found someone else quite soon, then he decided he wanted me back, we got back together but only so I could have the satisfaction of dumping him. I'm 26 now and he still chases after me! And I'm married with a kid. She will soon realise what she's missing out on when she see's that your moving on with your life, just get out there and meet someone else that's my advice, wish you all the best :)

You know, this has shown me the person she REALLY is. She is now leaving messages on bebo to her friends about her ex-boyfriend (before me) and saying stuff like "when you phoned me the other night I was half concentrating on you and the other half looking and concentrating on him"...

I have told her it's over and moving on with my life. Thanks everybody for your great advice, especially Chuff who has woken me up. Can't wait for her to come running back so I can tell her exactly what I think of her.

Now she is putting pictures with her and her ex-boyfriend on her bebo that were taken lately.. I know I should be getting on with things but this is really, truly hurting me.

Its supposed to, now get off the bebo or whatever it is. She is no dummy she can't get you one way she can get you another.

But I haven't done anything to her.. why is she treating me like this? I expected to be treated like this by my worst enemey.. not the girl that said she loved me..

It's a thin line between love and hate. Without the dazzle of love in your eyes, you will see the ex as you never have before.

OK dude, u need get away from her altogether, get of bebo, forget about her. My friends been going with his girl friend for 1 year now.. and if the similar thing happened, I'd tell him to spread all the crap about her-secrets etc. that she doesn't want people to know. But if your like me.. then take it on the chin and say "ye well, its her loss at the end of the day. And, Im a way better person that she can ever be". :)

I would understand it if I had done something to her but I was still nice to her when she asked for a break...

I thought by avoiding her for 3 days in a row she would have text me by now to see if I was OK or to say sorry or something.. all she wants to do is hurt me more.

Then (sorry for the language) she's a cow. Ever wondered why she broke it off? You may have been to soft and she was playing you. You seem like a really nice person and, tp finish it off, I'd just speak to her. Ask her 1, What's your game 2, What's the point 3, Why you been a cow 4, I feel sorry for you.. you just lost the perosn who cared for you the most 5, Good bye!

Well I don't know if she knows that I've broke it off completely so should I send her a text or phone her just to say it's over completely?

I would understand it if I had done something to her but I was still nice to her when she asked for a break...

Of course you don't understand, you're a nice guy with a not so nice ex, watch and see her true nature, and learn that females can be so sweet, but cross them and they will have you for lunch.

Well I don't know if she knows that I've broke it off completely so should I send her a text or phone her just to say it's over completely?

NO CONTACT:eek:

Yeah, you're right. So where from here?

No, give her a surprise visit instead, that'll spook her and tell her straigh, it'll show you have courage and if you stand up for yourself and stop communicating with her, I'm sure she might consider stop teasing you about it all. Good luck.;)

Yeah, you're right. So where from here?

Sky is the limit. Write your own plan and don't look back.:D You have nothing to prove to anyone.

Ok, well in the next month.. I'll have started a new college, have a new job, be starting to drive.. I'm sure I'll get over her. I just have to keep positive.

Yeeeee man, that's positive thinking :) You have (like me) so much more important stuff other than girls at the moment and you need ficus on them, then girls.

You're right and I'm surprising myself about how well I'm doing without her. Going on holidays next week with 4 or 5 of my friends, can't wait!

Grrr! My friend now sent her an email to tell her what he thinks of her...

He hasn't helped anything by doing this! Now she'll know that I've been badmouthing her to my friends..

I know that you don't want to hear this, but she is completely right. You both are so young, and the fact that you lasted more than a few weeks is huge. Its so hard to stay together with someone for that long, no matter how old you are and at your age, its so much harder. Just because you don't want a break doesn't mean that she shouldn't. You are most likely her first real boyfriend, and she wants to know who else is out there. This is completely natural and expected.

You have two options here. Either you say no, or you let her do what she wants. If you say no to her request, there is no chance you two will last. If she wants this enough to bring it up twice, its only a matter of time until she doesn't want a break -- she will want a breakup. Or, she might not break up with you, but instead turn to cheating. If you decide to take a little break, your chances of staying together are a thousand times better. She will either realize that there is no one else that she likes more, or she will find someone better. But letting her take a break is the only way you have a chance of ever staying with her for much longer.

Try not to be too hurt by this. The only way you will be able to stop thinking about her is to remove her name from your phone, move all pictures, and hide everything that has to do with her and just stop yourself from talking to her until she is ready. Buy a diary and every time you want to talk to her, write in the diary instead as if you are talking to her. If she does decide to go back with you, you can even give it to her to read. If you do this, she will realize that you respect her enough to leave her alone for a while.

Now, she wants a break to see what she's missing.. I don't care what any of you say, she DOES care about me. She sees me every day and she has got so used to us being together that she is now taking me for granted. She didn't dump me, because when I told her we're better off breaking up completely, she didn't want to.. she says that we'll be better than ever when we're both ready (I also told her that I was taking her for granted too)...

I did that once. I dumped a guy I HATED, but he was so attached to me. It was for another guy, who I am happily dating right now for over a year and a half. I told him that I still loved him, but being in college was too hard with him and I wanted to look elsewhere for a while. I called him every night, I saw him as often as possible, we still went out to dinner and everything. Why did I do that? BECAUSE HE WAS OBSESSED WITH ME - JUST AS OBSESSED AS YOU! If I didn't think he would go insane without me, I would have dumped him and never looked back. I pitied him, so I wasted months of my life pretending to not hate him just so that he wouldn't freak out. And even though I slowly started breaking it off, when I gave him the news he tried to kill himself. The more obsessed you are, the more likely she is to keep you around just so you don't try something stupid. If she really cared about you, she wouldn't accept you not replying to anything she says. She would say something along the lines of "Hey, we aren't broken up, please reply to me if you still love me."

No, I'm not obsessed with her. If anything, it was her who was the clingy one. She rung me all the time.. I wasn't clingy at all!

Yeah, you weren't the least bit clingy. She wanted a break, you refused because you couldn't share her. Shew wanted a break again, and you kept telling her that she was your everything. You were totally ready for the break because you were barely attached.

I know your side of things, but I also know her side of things. I dated a guy just like you, and did the same thing to that guy. We were just a few years older, and it lasted a lot longer. I know what its like on both sides, and it sucks for her too.

Neither of you are doing anything right. You both are playing the dumb teen games that everyone hates so much. You need to just tell her its over, and never talk to her again. Don't avoid it like you have been, and tell her to get over the games too.

I'm not saying I wasn't attached but she was always worrying that she was too clingy with me with some of the stuff she said.

I haven't avoided it, read up.. I have ended it. She can play all the games she wants, I'll pretend it doesn't bother me and not play any games with her.

I have been reading. You said that you wouldn't reply to her text messages, and avoid her calls. This is all to get her to realize how much she wants you. If you were avoiding all them because it hurt you too much to talk to her, that wouldn't be a game. But it is all a game because you were doing something that you hoped would get you what you want in the long run. That is in fact a game. Its one thing to put on a show to the world because if you didn't you couldn't do well at work or school, and its another to put on a happy face to the person you love in order to manipulate them. If you want to be mature about it, just tell her how much it hurts, but you realize that its for the best and you will try to move on. Don't avoid her, don't pretend that you are completely fine.

In relationships, the person who worries that they are too clingy are usually not the ones who are too clingy. Long psychological thing that I don't want to get into right now. Long story short, a lot of times they think that because the relationship is too clingy, they take on the fault in order to bring up the issue, even though it isn't their fault. And look at how clingy she is. She's the one that dumped you. For other guys. Not even just one. She was barely attached.

I have told her how much it's hurting me.. I've been mature about it, I've said all I can say. Now it's time to go silent.

Dazza yourve told her enough. NOw go silent. Do Nothing if she returns to your life good for you. If she texts you who cares , yourve gone silent DO NOT ANSWER show sme balls save some dignity. She will MISS you and come backl she told you this. So make her miss you she will she's young, she will miss you when she thinks your gone. So what are you gomnimg to do??

I hope your gone!! Don't buckle as soon as she calls this does not mean she wants you back this means I hop you still on my leash... No contct no answering make her beg!!

I agree with Mac, except for the beg thing. Your not doing this to get her back, because honestly after most people who get dumped, and get healthy, and get over it, they move on to better things. The ones who have gone back soon realise that things have changed, and move on. The whole thing is to get healthy enough to see what the real deal is, and know what you want, when your not blind and confused by your own emotions.

I've gone silent. I don't want her back after what she's done.. if she rung me tonight asking me back I would tell her where to go.

I'm better off without her.

Ok well I don't want to seem like I am being harsh but she's right she is only 15 and your only 16. A year and a half at that age is pretty good id half to say so. When someone says go on a break we can see other people for a while well that normally means I'm dumping you I don't plan on getting back together. Sorry for making it sound so blunt but don't keep your hope up to high cause it could be a while before you get back together, when I got told that I was in grade 10 its been about 6 years and I'm still waiting for him to come back. Your still young have fun, there are plenty of girls out there. Oh you and text her call her it will make you feel a lot better if your still friends. Don't just message her believe me we get mad when guys never call and than expect us to talk to them on the computer. I hope it all works out for you in the end but remember have fun while you still can.

Also dazza begging is not a healthy relationship. If you go silent and she chooses to come back to your life you can handle it from there. Your young so this isn't the one. When I was 17 I thoughti had the one as well hahahha wasn't the case...

You will find many more...

Ok, have went silent since Tuesday. She has text me before she goes on holiday tomorrow saying "im jus textin 2 say sorri. im about to go to bed, i hope u av a good time when ur away"... Should I reply to her message, she is going on holiday..

NO REPLY. You are on no contact. No contact means no contact regardless of who initiated the contact.

Just wondering... did you tell her that you don't want to hear from her? Because if you did, then she is probably just texting you knowing she won't get a reply. But if you didn't let her know that you aren't going to go out of your way to talk to her, it would be rude not to reply. If you are planning on ignoring someone, the best way to go about it is to say "I don't want to be mean, but I don't want any communication besides a quick hello where we might see each other." But if you already said something along those lines, those might be her final words about the relationship.

No, she told me she didn't want to speak to me or see me again because she wants to get over me. I have a big feeling that she'll come back to me in about a months time as she said she needs to see what she's missing.

Ok, have went silent since Tuesday. She has text me before she goes on holiday tomorrow saying "im jus textin 2 say sorri. im about to go to bed, i hope u av a good time when ur away"... Should I reply to her message, she is going on holiday..


No you should not. In fact her going on vacation is the best thing that can happen to you right now. It will give you an opportunity to focus on yourself and do some things that you want to do.

You're right.. I'm concentrating on me this week. I'm going for a wee break myself from Wednesday to Sunday.. I'm getting my exam results tomorrow.. so it's going to be an exciting week for me which means I won't think about her as much.

Ok, so she's back from her holidays and I'm back from mine...

I had a great time, met other women, didn't think about my ex very much. Strange thing that happened is, my ex rung me on her last night of holidays. She spoke away to me like nothing had happened, and I thought I should just talk to her like she was one of my friends.

What does this mean? Why did she ring me on her last night of her holidays after she told me she didn't want to speak to me again?

Did I do the right thing in just talking to her like I would talk to my friend?

First of all, you met other girls. Not women.

You didn't do the wrong thing, but you didn't do the best thing either. I wouldn't worry much if I were you.

What you should have done when she called like nothing happened is not to start a friendly conversation. When you answered, you should have asked if anything was wrong, and when she said no you should have asked why she is calling you. Tell her that it was a GOOD idea to cut off contact, and remind her that she said that she never wanted to talk to you again. Don't be rude or cocky, but just explain that she is confusing you by telling you one thing and then going back on what she said and doing something completely different. Then when that is all settled, tell her that because this happened so recently, you don't know how to handle the situation and you think it would be best if neither party tried to make contact with each other. A wave as you pass each other down the hall is one thing, calling because there was an emergency and she needs help is one thing, calling to chat is another. When that part of the conversation is done with, tell her that you need to go because you are busy.

This was a pretty messy breakup, so it might take months to years until you really talk much again. Until then, just focus on getting yourself back to normal and maybe picking up a few hobbies to help you in school or in work.

I know you can't go back in time to change it, but this is what you should do from now on. First, don't call her or make any contact with her. If she doesn't ever make contact with you again, let it rest. If she does, then you should have a conversation similar to the one I described above. Just try to be as nice as possible. We don't know if she is doing this to drag you along, or if she is doing this because she loves you still, or because she feels obligated to make a few calls.

Did I do the right thing in just talking to her like I would talk to my friend?

Yes. Fine. But still leave alone for now.

No, she told me she didn't want to speak to me or see me again because she wants to get over me. I have a big feeling that she'll come back to me in about a months time as she said she needs to see what she's missing.
So why are we having this conversation?
She told you she does not want to be with you. She told you that twice. What are you not getting?
So then wait a month if she comes back and you still want her, good for you, if she doesn't, then there you go. But in the meantime leave her alone.

I'm sorry, I don't understand what the problem is with you guys. Are you just not used to being told No! Do you just not know how to except the fact that someone may not want to be with you?
I don't want to see means I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU.

So why are we having this conversation?
She told you she does not want to be with you. She told you that twice. What are you not getting?
So then wait a month if she comes back and you still want her, good for you, if she doesn't, then there ya go. But in the meantime leave her alone.

I'm sorry, I don't understand what the problem is with you guys. Are you just not used to being told No! Do you just not know how to except the fact that someone may not want to be with you?
I don't want to see means I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU.

Can you please explain what you're talking about? I know she doesn't want back with me.. what I want to know is why she's phoning me and if I dealt with it right...

I think homegirl didn't finish reading

Well If I misunderstood I'm sorry. I'm not getting what your asking. If you have decided to leave her alone, then you've done the right thing. You had a moment of weakness and chatted with her. Just don't do it again.
Again, I apologize

Can you please expalin what you're talking about? I know she doesn't want back with me.. what I want to know is why she's phoning me and if I dealt with it right...
She called to take your temperature, and see where your head was at after a vacation. It was a big mistake to even answer the phone, because she knows you will be happy in the friend zone, and may call to chat you up more. Of course you'll eat it up, because you think she will change her mind and see what she has missed and things can be as they were before. WRONG! She will confuse your poor head, until moving on and getting healthy, will be even harder. That's what you need more than this one sided relationship, is to get your head on straight and deal with reality. She kicked you to the curb, but still wants you at the end of a leash(phone) Get real and check the caller ID, before you answer and stop talking like she is your friend, and you won't be wondering why this, why that. It not healthy to be consumed with what she does or thinks, before you know yourself enough too love yourself FIRST!! No contact, but in your case NO CHATTING either.

First of all answering that call WRONG!!

Your not listening to any advice you are receiving on here...

No contact means if she calls you don't answer. It's that simple either get srious with no contact or stay in the friend zone.

The reason she called you was cause she was feeling a bit lonely and thought old faithful would still be on the leash so she went to the cupboard pulled out some doggy treats and tossed them down the phone line and there was her little pupppy dog chomping at the biyt...

Imagine what she would have been thinking when you didn't answer. Or better yet don't be rude answer the phone but say EXACTLY THIS. Hi is everything OK she replies " I was just wondering how yourve been. You repoly " You said you didn't want to ever speak to me again so why are you calling? She replies "well i just wanted to know what yourve been up to and how yourve been . You reply " well Ive been fine but you said you o longer want to know me so that's that I have to go BYE!! Hang up get some control back don't be afraid she will call again if she is keen. Push her away she will get keener and if she is not that keen she won't and you will then have your answer to why she is calling!! She is calling to make sure your still waiting on her. Get some balls and show her you are no longe waitning on her!! Get some courage take a chance put her in her place let her know what she told you is what your sticking to!!

Really mate she said she doesn't want you so why would you even consider talking to someone like that!!

Quick run down my ex said same crap a s yours. I did the same crap as you. Then I realised she said she doesn't want to talk to me anymore. So what does that mean when she rings it means reafirm what she told you. She said she doesn't want to speak to you well give her that she has to live by what she says or elae she will walk on you like she is. Get some balls if you want this girl back give yourself a chaance and stop answering and act like you don't need her and you may just get a surprise... Either way she will get a surprise when she realises her dog ahas run away!! Everyone gets upset when they realise the dog is pff the leash and then they go looking for uoit. Diont go running back find a new owner and the old one will want you back! Girls LOVE what they can't have! ALWAYS

Feeling very disappointed now... a lot has happened in the past month.. we got talking again and we've met up a few times. Had a great night on Saturday night there when it felt like we had just started going out with each other, couldn't keep our hands off each other, etc. She sent a text to me saying "it really sucks not having you as my boyfriend"..

I was going to take it slow and then ask her to be my girlfriend again soon but this week has changed my mind.. she told me that she was free on Saturday so I asked her to meet up and she said yes. Now she told me that we're not meeting up on Saturday because her friend and her has plans, and apparently, friends come first.

She is also going to a wedding tomorrow with a male "friend"..

I think I'm regretting getting this close with her again..

I'm feeling so down tonight because I know she is going to be with this boy at a wedding allll day tomorrow. I think this is the first boy she's been with since we broke up and I keep getting memories of all the times she told me that she'd always be mine.

:(:( - has anyone else ever experienced this?

You need to leave her alone. She will string you along as long as you keep going for it.
Don't answer when she call and don't call her.

I'm feeling soo down tonight because I know she is going to be with this boy at a wedding allll day tomorrow. I think this is the first boy she's been with since we broke up and I keep getting memories of all the times she told me that she'd always be mine.

:(:( - has anyone else ever experienced this?
Yes we have, most of us here have been through pretty much the same thing and some of us had to learn the hard way that the relationship was over, and we had to move on. Join the club. Now accept the facts, and get a healthy life through NO CONTACT, and move on, as she has.

Definitely move on no contact she will string you along

I'm feeling soo down tonight because I know she is going to be with this boy at a wedding allll day tomorrow. I think this is the first boy she's been with since we broke up and I keep getting memories of all the times she told me that she'd always be mine.

:(:( - has anyone else ever experienced this?


Hell yeah everybody's experience this. Some of more then once. As I went back and reread the thread to refresh my memory all I could think of was "if he had just taken this advice the first time." Everything was there but you were blinded by it all and you didn't want to accept the fact you were being strung along. Well accept it now. Learn from it now. When it's over and when she calls for a break you get out of there and grant her, her wish and prove her wrong by not being available to her.

I got to the point and asked her did she ever see us in an exclusive relationship again after she was acting "off" with me once again. She told me she didn't want to for years to come, so I told her we're better off going separate ways as we wanted different things.

No contact comes into tact again.

Hadn't heard from her since I broke it off with her except for Thursday night when she rung me. I shouldn't have answered it but I did and I've learnt that I shouldn't answer anymore because it just makes me think about her even more.

She has put up things on her Bebo profile about how much she loves boys and all this other crap, probably to make me jealous and to hurt me. I try not to look at her profile but the temptation is too much.

Apart from looking at her profile, I've been keeping well. I occupy my whole day by packing in as many things as possible, but today I'm not doing anything and it's making me think and hurt about her.

Apart from looking at her profile, I've been keeping well.
Stop looking at at her profile, and torturing yourself.

Hadn't heard from her since I broke it off with her except for Thursday night when she rung me. I shouldn't have answered it but I did and I've learnt that I shouldn't answer anymore because it just makes me think about her even more.


I think you learned this lesson before that, now you must put it into practice.


She has put up things on her Bebo profile about how much she loves boys and all this other crap, probably to make me jealous and to hurt me. I try not to look at her profile but the temptation is too much.

She does probably do it to torture you. That doesn't exactly make her somebody you should be having feelings about does it? It shows her for the true coward she is. It shows her for the true cold hearted snake she really is. It shows her for her true lack of respect not only for you, but the relationship she had with you. I could go on but my point is that this is the real her, so you need to start accepting it and USE it as leverage to start telling yourself that you are to good to be loving someone that acts like and treats other people like this.


Apart from looking at her profile, I've been keeping well. I occupy my whole day by packing in as many things as possible, but today I'm not doing anything and it's making me think and hurt about her.

Go running or for a long walk.

I'm doing fine without her, honestly I am. It's been two long months without her and if I hadn't of gone back, I'd probably be over her by now...

I've joined my new college and there's plenty of good looking girls. I like it so that's keeping my mind off her.

I feel for you, I really do, braking up is always so damn hard.

I got to be honest, at 15 she probably want to see what else is out there y'know, she's young and so are you and she has been with you for awhile. I hate to say it but usually these things stay gone, although that is not written in stone, just from past experiences oncea girl says date other people it means she has moved on and will not be coming back.

As for writingher and this and that, I doubt very much that whether you write her or not will make any difference. If she is set on dating others than whether you chat with her on MSN will not change her mind, it will not sway her one way or the other. Although I would lay off it, I mean all you are doing is exposing your feelings to her and making yourself vulnerable, she has all the control.

Back-off, hurt and heal, that's the recipe. I hate that it tastes so bad butwe all got to gotrough it my man, we've all been there and I won't waste your time telling you your going to find someone better and all that jazz, you will I hope, but you'll hurt, its just the way life and relationships works, goodwith the bad.

Best of luck and stay cool.

Thanks for that BMI. I have stopped all contact with her, I feel like I'm in control now and she seems to be doing the chasing.

This week I think I've been happier than I have been in a long while. Maybe that's the sign I'm getting over her. Have to stop looking at her Bebo profile though, that's what's making me hurt even more.

I've realised the relationship is over and I'm doing stuff now that my ex would never have let me do when we were going out (going to housepartys and stuff) but there is still the occasional moment that I miss her.

That's normal, good idea to get rid of anything that you can spy, I deleted my Facebook account because I was lookingat her profile everyday and wondering who was talkingto her and what was going on, it drove me mad. Stay strongand keep doing what you are doing, in acouple of weeks/monthsyou'll feel incontrol and then who knows where the cards may fall.

I was you 5 months ago, I wentthrough the same thing, then ideleted my Facebook and left italone andthen came back 3 months later, we talk now and things may be going toward us getting backtogether or at least well... geting... NEVERTHELESS! You get the picture

Well, I kind of hooked up with my ex's friend, not knowing that they were friends and now gossip is getting about. It'll only be a matter of time before my ex finds out and that'll be us over for good. Probably a blessing in disguise though...

Well look at this superstar, back on the road to victory already, way to go! As a member ofour team (male) I would like to congratulate you with a very loud ATTA BOY! This is one for ourside.

Bet you feel better already, now U have the power, U are the man, of course it totally killed any chance of you getting back with her and I guess you dolook like a realjerk in their eyes and morally you may want to look at yourself and... LETS save that for later,right nowenjoy the moment and walk a little taller knowing that you accomplished something that is not easy to do:)

Yeah, I do feel good about it. It'll show her that I can do without her.. and she's started talking about boys more and more on her profile since she found out, so this would explain why she is writing about boys so much.

I'm getting over her, slowly but surely. I don't miss her as much anymore, I've lasted 2 months now without her so I'm getting used to the fact we won't be back together and after the way she has treated me, I'm better off without her.

Yep, she definitely found out now... she's been trying to ring me all day and I never answered and now she has texted me asking did I go with her mate...

I feel bad about it, I know she's hurt me countless of times and this is probably the first time I've really hurt her but I do feel bad.

Not only have I destroyed the small, small chance of us getting back together but I've hurt the girl I care about the most :(

Anyone got any positive outlook of this?

You sound like a very good human. To care about those that hurt you is commendable. To go back to them, is well not so commendable. To move forward beyond them is GREAT!!

Enjoy yourself. Maybe socialize with girls make her jealous she will want you back in a heartbeat. Or just go out and hangout with the guys. Don't let her know you are doing bad.

She's very upset with me about the whole friend situation.. she rung and rung when she found out, I didn't answer as I was doing NC, then she texted me asking did I go with her friend, I never replied either.

Can't help but feel bad and know that I've ruined the whole relationship now. But she's hurt me plenty of times and this is the first time I've really hurt her. And hey, maybe it'll make her realise that I'm not sulking about her anymore and might make her come back to me...

Need a quick reply... to clear the air, should I apologise for kissing her friend? Or would that be stupid?

Need a quick reply... to clear the air, should I apologise for kissing her friend? Or would that be stupid?


1. Haven't read the rest so I'm not up to date but to answer your question no apologies.

2. Kissing her friend of all people. Nice.

3. Hello Brooke, I'm Chuff.

Are you trying to be sarcastic? I feel awful :(

Are you trying to be sarcastic?? I feel awful :(

Feel awful for what? Kissing her friend after she dumped you?

Yes, I can't help it.

Tonight she sent me a video of us together and our old song in the background :(:(! Brought back all the good memories :(

Yes, I can't help it.

Tonight she sent me a video of us together and our old song in the background :(:(! Brought back all the good memories :(

It's almost like she's trying to manipulate you.

I was being sarcastic there. Because she is trying to manipulate you.

She brought this on herself. You didn't do one thing to ask to be put on her back burner. Now that she sees your not going to wait around for her like a wimp suddenly she takes an interest in you. Really? Is that all you are to her, someone who is supposed to wait around for her and when that doesn't work she has to bring out the old emotional tricks?

Since she sent me that video, an hour ago... I didn't reply. Now she has text me a message saying, "Whats up? xox".. I haven't replied to that either.

What's the best thing to do? Stay No Contact or show a little interest?

No contact at all. Look at what it's doing to her. You are winning.

I think if you are ignoring her so you can get over her, that's good and I hope you succeed. If you're doing all of this to get back at her, to get even, you will ever get over her because revenge will be driving you and revenge needs to be fed.
Get over her and d move on. Don't call her or text her, or if you really mean it, or are really serious about getting over her, answer her call and tell her "don't call me any more. I am done with you so you should be done with me as well"

she suggested going out casually (we still see each other but see other people too).
She is young and wants to explore beyond this relationship.


I said no, definitely not

A logical response


Only this time she suggested that we go on a "break

Again, she wants to explore, and she will, or has.


She told me the reason for this was that we can see other people for a while. She told me she's only 15 and wants to see other people at this age.

She has someone in mind to explore with. Maybe it didn't work out, (most likely) or she regrets her actions, either way, move on as this is over. I know the feelings are strong and intense, but so is the likelyhood of her wanting another break.

Has any one noticed how a simple break, turned into casual dating? Thats how easy you can move from LUV, to being put in the friend zone. Fellas especially the younger guys, when a female says break, don't do anything but give her what she wants and seek your own happiness. Hanging around waiting gets you confused, and makes you look downright silly waiting for a bone. Leave the drama and chaos behind you, and move forward and enjoy the freedom of being a happy single guy. Dazz, are you a happy single guy???
This is from August, do you remember it?

Personally, at this point I'd ask her straight out if she wants to be with you or what?

I know that is:

1) unexpected
2) and uncharacteristic of you

BUT

You have been pining for nearly 4 months now... and all you really want to know is will she sleep with you? I would too... So, let's get to the bottom of this. Get the truth on the table...
(And get a therapist if she dumps you again and you take this to seriously... )

OR

CUT THIS OFF ONCE AND FOR ALLLLLL... You have an opportunity to take control here - take it.

As my grandmother used to say "pee or get off the pot"
Keep playing games with her, or tell her to get lost. The choice is yours.

If you go back with her then get married have kids and have a miserable life together, you will deserve it. And by the way you will forfit any right to complain as well because we told you so and you wouldn't listen.

But if you have any common sense at all you will stay away from her, a long way from her.

As my grandmother used to say "pee or get off the pot"
Keep playing games with her, or tell her to get lost. The choice is yours.

Ahh, There's nothing like an incontinent granparent to get you on track.

About 4 months ago I started a topic about my ex wanting a break. That slowly lead into a breakup, then I went NC for a month and we started seeing each other again.. We were casually seeing each other but last night I broke it off completely as we weren't meeting up much and she didn't seem bothered about the relationship anymore. She told me she never wanted to be boyfriend/girlfriend again and the only reason I started seeing her again was because I thought that it could develop into a proper relationship again.

I told her I had to move on because all I think of is the past we had and at the minute I'm not happy with the relationship we have even though she is. She told me that she wouldn't be happy if we were boyfriend/girlfriend, so basically we both want different things.

She begged me not to break up completely so I told her I would think about it and today I sent her a message saying:

"Hey, I've thought alot about us today and I think we shouldn't break us off completely but I need a break from all of this. Then we can see what's going on after that. Ok? I love you!"

She hasn't replied but I never expected her to. I expect that to be the last of us because during the break I hope I can stop caring about her and move on. I think that she will realise she wants me to be her boyfriend again at some stage but by then I hope I'm over her.

What do you think?

And the reason I posted this was because I'm worried sick that she will find someone else (I think she is casually seeing someone at the minute).

Just heard that her uncle died tonight, he was only 30.. had two children, one was 4 and the other 11. I feel like I should be there for her, yet I'm huffing with her :(:(

After 4 and a half months, it seems like she has finally realised what she's missing. She sent me a text last night saying:

"I love you.. you mean the world to me and I dont want to lose you ever. I miss the way we were. I loved being with you all day every Saturday. I just miss everything. I wish things were back to the way were. I messed EVERYTHING up.. I love you though forever and ever."

Is this telling me she wants to be my girlfriend again? What should I do?

Don't bother with her, she's a drama queen that doesn't know what she wants, and will changer her mind again for certain, several times in fact. Some women are like this their whole lives, most decide what they want by their mid to late 20's.

Ignore her or expect to go through this all over again with her. There are plenty of other women out there. I recommend you date a few of them. That will give you the experience you need to recognize when you have a loopy, indecisive girl like this one.

After 4 and a half months, it seems like she has finally realised what she's missing. She sent me a text last night saying:

"I love you.. you mean the world to me and I dont want to lose you ever. I miss the way we were. I loved being with you all day every Saturday. I just miss everything. I wish things were back to the way were. I messed EVERYTHING up.. I love you though forever and ever."

Is this telling me she wants to be my girlfriend again? What should I do?
No, she is just saying she realized she meesed things up, she misess you.. . She says "I love you though" but not enough to get together again.
I would not even respond. Or respond by saying Thank you! And let it be.

Well, she told me that she really, really wants what we had back.. but she's afraid she'll change her mind and she doesn't want to mess me around.

What is the best thing to do? Maybe the best thing to do is the hardest thing to do but I feel I have to do it... Do I make her miss me again by just acting cold with her or do I just tell her that this isn't going to work?

You leave it alone. She broke off with you. If she wants you back she has to be the one making the moves.

Well, she told me that she really, really wants what we had back.. but she's afraid she'll change her mind and she doesn't want to mess me around.


You tell her to go screw herself. Do you know what she's really saying to you? She's saying that something in her personal life isn't working like she anticipated and now she wants you back... but at a future price that you are going to pay for with collateral she is offering now.

In other words, she is telling you that she will take you back on a limited basis but if someone else comes around she has already told you that she will pull out the "Well I want to stay friends but I told you before that I might change my mind."

She's screwing with you, so tell her to go screw herself and quit talking to her.


What is the best thing to do? Maybe the best thing to do is the hardest thing to do but I feel I have to do it... Do I make her miss me again by just acting cold with her or do I just tell her that this isn't going to work?

You got it.

We don't know what she is really saying. I'm assuming she is sorry for the pain she has caused, but she does not know what she wants. Don't play games with her because you really don't know what game she's playing if in fact she is playing one.
If it were me, I'd tell her "look this is not working, you're not happy and neither am I. Let's call it quits. If we are meant to be it will work out at some later time" Then be done with it. You have ended it, but you have not burned any bridges.

She's been toying with you for 4 months now.

I'd walk away for at least 6 months... time to (pardon the cliche) man-up.