Do you remember the old TV show called "Family Matters"? The nerd called Urkle had a tough time with females until the last season, before it went off air. Well,I consider myself a nerd/geek. I'm always on the computer chatting about and looking up unpopular topics. I dress strange, wearing tight beige pants, off color shirts, and Dr. Shoals shoes. My speaking voice goes real high sometimes, and real low sometimes, where people ask me to repeat myself. I really shy around women, and a weakling around other men. I'm still a mother's boy, and I have trouble watching my health. My goal is to change these unpopular things, so I can be date material. I hope I gave you enough information about myself; if not feel free to ask me more. I need an extreme makeover!! Is there anybody out there with help? :(

As for the clothes, the shoes aren't too bad... the pants, you can trade in for jeans.. the off coloured shirts, you can trade in for skateboarder shirts and band-t's. Your voice isn't exactly something you can control... so you'll have to wait that one out. For the watching your weight, just work out. You could run around your block or go to a gym or something.
Your confidence is something that only you can take care of. Try looking at your better qualities. And what did you mean by unpopular topics?

As for the clothes, the shoes aren't too bad... the pants, you can trade in for jeans.. the off coloured shirts, you can trade in for skateboarder shirts and band-t's. Your voice isn't exactly something you can control... so you'll have to wait that one out. For the watching your weight, just work out. You could run around your block or go to a gym or something.
Your confidence is something that only you can take care of. Try looking at your better qualities. And what did you mean by unpopular topics?

Thanks. The topics I talk about is how things work, new computer operating systems and technology, tips and tricks on computer systems and networks, etc.

Ohh... well... what else do you know a lot about? Like other then computers?

Some girls are into geek stuff - I wouldn't worry about that.

Clothes are easy. Get a couple of magazines for men and have a look - then find similar things in your budget range.

Voice can be worked on. There are even specialists out there if you need them. Try taking a speech class at a community college, first, perhaps.

The most troubling thing you stated is the part about being a momma's boy and unfit. That will not help you cultivate the image you want. Start by working out. When you start seeing results, your confidence should become stronger. With more confidence, you may not need momma's attention so much.

Start slow. Start with the clothes, that's the easiest then work you way along your list.

OK here are some stores for teens: Hollistor, American Eagle, Pac Sun, Ambercrombie and Fitch. Im not sure where you live but those are big stores in the U.S. Also you will have to get use to py 25 dollars or more for a shirt. And I don't have any muscles, but I'm the funny guy who is fast, not strong. Also just look up sport news, go to your sport's homepage and they will have all the latest news about the teams. Uh shyness hmmm, well I am shy, so I just join sport teams at school to meet all the kids and then I get to know them and then I become friends. I slowly became less and less shy. I am still shy unless I need to say something, then I definitely say it. I like technology too, but maybe do cool things with technology like get a xbox 360 or something, I meet many school friends just by asking people or their gamertag and such. If you want to work on being with a girl, you need to work on being near guys, because girls are usually a lot harder to talk to. Just remembr no one is out of your league. Also start listening to rock/rap/hip hop

Let me help you with this step by step:

First of all, you need a clear definition of what is a so called "nerd"

The nerd that has some friends but just studies all day and doesent do anything else. The nerds that I was around with. No friends and follows me around like a shadow, most people can't hear him if he talks, and has a arched back, no glasses.
Nerd dosen't necessarely mean uber smart it just means no friends. It doesent mean ugly either.
What do you talk about?
If you talk about very old movies or textbooks news having to do with NASA or anything like that you are a nerd.
Do you get made fun of behind your back?
If you ever see people snickering and then looking at that person it could just be that they are laughing at something that he has on him or something. But if they do this constantly that means that he's a nerd.
Pockets?
Does your friend wear pocket protectors? These are obvious signs of nerdyness.
Pens, Erasers, Pencils.
If you have so many pens, pencils, or erasers in your pocket that you can see you sticking out of your pocket you are a nerd...
Okay, so I don't think you are a NERD yet.:)
My point here is- Be more sefl respect and more confident. TELL Yourself THAT "I AM NOT A NERD!"

Then...
What you need to do is-
FEEL GOOD. If you want to be popular, you need to change your insides before your surroundings can start turning in your favor. You can't make people believe that you're worthwhile if you don't think you are. Start to FEEL GOOD. It's the most important part of this whole process. Never let little things get you down, because when you do, you attract more things that will get you down. Start looking on the bright side of things. Life is great! CHANGE YOUR LOOK. Yes, I know I should tell you to love the way you look no matter what, but if you never shower or don't brush your hair, people WILL be turned off by you. People want to talk to people who look nice. Follow trends you like. Get into new fashions. For tips, look at my article called "How to Change Your Look".
STAND OUT. People who want to be popular tend to say things like "I just want to fit in!" Well, here's some news for you. Popular people don't blend in, they stand out! If you observe some popular people, you will see that they're always loud and in your face. They're not afraid to say anything, and they're always brave. And that's what makes people want to listen and follow them.
MAKE THE FIRST MOVE. The best way to brake into a group of popular people is to just make friends with one of them. Then they will introduce you to another person, then another. But the catch is that you have to speak up. If you don't make the first move and talk to someone popular, they're never going to talk to you. I know, it's nerve wracking. And a lot of people say that the popular people think they're dorks and they don't like them. Well, if you keep saying that, then they never will like you. Now that you've got your new look, act the part. Take that leap of faith and TALK TO THEM.
BE NICE. I know that when you're looking at the people you think are popular, they act kind-of meanly. They do things like spread rumors and use people and keep secrets. Truth is? If you're trying to make friends with those people, your in for a ride. If you still want to be friends with them, though, there's one thing you should know. DON'T ACT LIKE THAT UNTIL YOU'RE REALLY, Truly IN THE GROUP. When you're first making friends with people, they want to see your sweet, sensitive, lovable side. Later, when your all friends, you can bring out the mean side.

Hope that'll help.:)

First, I'd like to say I don't think there is anything wrong with you. My best suggestion is to embrace who you are and don't give a damn what other people may think! Confidence is the key, but if you'd like ways to enhance that with material things, I can offer a few suggestions.

Try one thing that you haven't already. Sk8boarding, snowboarding, track and field, social clubs, etc. This may help you make friends and/or adapt to a new culture of people that you may have fun with. It would also help you to build confidence in a new skill and become more independent from mother.

Piece together smaller bits that will make your clothes an "outfit". Odd colored shirts and khaki pants are fine... try it with an interesting hat, shoes, or belt. You don't have to buy all new things, just tweek them in ways that might make a statement. I once had a male friend who wore khaki's, polo shirts, and a dirty rotten shoes but he'd add a patch or tear the knees... anything that made his outfit unique got him lots of attention.

Read some trendier magazines. Interested in cars, trucks, gaming, sports, fashion? Check some out and they'll give you a good glimpse into new possibilites.

Don't forget... nerds are only nerds to people who don't understand them. Plus, lots of nerds are just plain cool.

Maybe you could go for more indie chic than cool guy as it will be less of a leap. Some girls love nerdy awkward guys, although you don't want them to just want to mother you so maybe improving your confidence by working out a bit could give you the 'I'm sweet, nerdy and sexy' vibe.

If you go for a compromise you won't have to completely change- which would be no fun. I think maybe joining a soceity with girls in it will help you talk to them. Also girls love making people over (admit it we do!) so perhaps once you have some female friends they could help you out. Take a friend shopping with you and get them to help you pick clothes.

Don't worry about changing though - just about being happy. Get some new clothes by all means as there is nothing like feeling like you look good but don't throw away all the geekyness. Geeky usually = successful so go with it and the women will be drawn to you (and admittidly your wallet, but nothing's perfect)

Nerdy can be cool if done right look at Rivers Cuomo from Weezer, Weezer - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weezer),
Chris Martin form coldplay (admittidly looking a little less geeky once he got married)
And most indie band members.

And here's an article to prove I'm not just making this up
http://www.pussycatmagazine.com/girllife/Feb2003/nerdlove.html

Good luck to you
vive le geek

Maybe you could go for more indie chic than cool guy as it will be less of a leap. Some girls love nerdy awkward guys, although you don't want them to just want to mother you so maybe improving your confidence by working out a bit could give you the 'I'm sweet, nerdy and sexy' vibe.

If you go for a compromise you won't have to completely change- which would be no fun. I think maybe joining a soceity with girls in it will help you talk to them. Also girls love making people over (admit it we do!) so perhaps once you have some female friends they could help you out. Take a friend shopping with you and get them to help you pick clothes.

Don't worry about changing though - just about being happy. Get some new clothes by all means as there is nothing like feeling like you look good but don't throw away all the geekyness. Geeky usually = succesful so go with it and the women will be drawn to you (and admittidly your wallet, but nothing's perfect)

Nerdy can be cool if done right look at Rivers Cuomo from Weezer, Weezer - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weezer),
Chris Martin form coldplay (admittidly looking a little less geeky once he got married)
And most indie band members.

And here's an article to prove I'm not just making this up
http://www.pussycatmagazine.com/girllife/Feb2003/nerdlove.html

Good luck to you
vive le geek

I do have female friends, but only friends. How should I go by asking for their help without looking like a sissy?

I do have female friends, but only friends. How should I go by asking for their help without looking like a sissy?

Just tell them - hey I want to change my look and I feel lost on how to do it can you help?

Any red blooded girl will JUMP at the chance to do a makeover.

Remember to not lose yourself. Change the outside not the inside. In high school girls go for the obvious guys but as we get old we appreciate a man who has a mind and who can talk on a myriad of subjects. Most of my girlfriends love a nerdy guy we all think its cute. Smarts are a bigger want of a woman, at least the ones I know.

I do have female friends, but only friends. How should I go by asking for their help without looking like a sissy?


Appeal to their vanity and tell them you value their opinion and think they have great style and would they help.

And like the previous poster said, any red-blooded American gal will jump at the chance to help you spend your money. Plus, you never know - you might get to know them better, too.

They probably won't think you're a sissy but you could just say something like "I like your style and I see how great your fashion sense is. I want to kind of make myself over so could you help me... say go shopping?" or something to that effect.:D

Some girls are into geek stuff - I wouldn't worry about that.

Clothes are easy. Get a couple of magazines for men and have a look - then find similar things in your budget range.

Voice can be worked on. There are even specialists out there if you need them. Try taking a speech class at a community college, first, perhaps.

The most troubling thing you stated is the part about being a momma's boy and unfit. That will not help you cultivate the image you want. Start by working out. When you start seeing results, your confidence should become stronger. With more confidence, you may not need momma's attention so much.

Start slow. Start with the clothes, that's the easiest then work you way along your list.

Hmm this is sort of true. For me I have a lot of nerdy tendencies. Since when I was a child those were the kids I hung around. By the time I got into high school however I knew how to groom myself and look presentable. Girls do like to see that someone who can dress nice still has a nerdy side. I'm not sure if they'd go for a badly dressed nerd with hygiene issues though...
Follow her advice and change the clothes and all others. Just don't change your personality. That's the only way you'll catch a girl that really appreciates you.

Honestly, you sound too cute to me! You don't need to change who you are one bit. Added a little more style and preparation to your wardrobe will help a bit but the key to getting women is showing that you have confidence and that you love yourself for who you are. You must learn to do that. You are you and that's okay; there will be a lady out there who likes you for you, don't worry. Buy some new clothes, get a haircut, eat right, exercise,buy some hot cologne, practice some self-loving activities, walk into rooms like you own them, and don't worry about what other people think. Be a sexy, confident nerd!

Why try to fit a mold? You are who you are for a reason. First I think you should be comfortable in your own skin, and then find your own style not what others tell you is "cool". Make them understand who you are and they will respect you for that. Believe me, high school thinking is not everything, it will all change once you are out there in the really world. Be yourself.

You say that, but he never said anything about becoming popular or fitting into the N crowd. He just wants more success with women. We all have traits that make us who we are: shyness, nerdyness, sadness. But whose to say those traits are who you have to be? If we ourselves choose to change something about ourselves then that is perfectly OK. Whether you choose to change or not is your choice whatever makes you the most comfortable. If he isn't 'comfortable in his skin' then don't discourage him from experimenting, if he doesn't he might miss a potential chance to find who he really is.

My goal is to change these unpopular things, so I can be date material. I hope I gave you enough information about myself; if not feel free to ask me more. I need an extreme makeover!!! Is there anybody out there with help? :(

This is what made me think that the fitting in was a factor. Im just saying he needs to be comfortable in himself (not his physical image-Himself) before any makeover will help.

He does need to be happy & comfortable with himself before a girl can. Not trying to discourage you, but you realllly should try looking for the better qualities you ahve and work off that, then try to improve yourself on the outside.:)

Hi Sweetie,

Let me tell you one thing, nerds are hot!

Don't worry about what other people are saying about you and stop constantly downing yourself because you don't think you meet up to a certain standard. May I ask how old you are? Age plays a big factor in where you are to make a change in your life. If you are making the change for yourself because you aren't comfortable with who you are then it's a good thing to do. Changing who you are to impress your peers and to get a date... I know I have done it at one point or another and I bet almost everyone on this board has also. If you want to change the outer you to be more comfident, then go for it. But don't change who you are on the inside. I would find a guy telling me how the inside of a computer works to be extremely interesting and would make me think the guy I am talking to actually thinks about stuff other than sports, women, beer, and cars. Do like some of the others said and buy you a few pairs of nice jeans, not tight ones (don't want to look emo. Lol), a couple of polo shirts with a nice white undershirt, a belt and a nice pair of shoes. Maybe get a hair cut if you need one and ditch the glasses (if you wear them) for contacts. Good luck!

Right, who you are is important in finding a compatible partner. Some people misjudge things like speech class and confidece builders as changing who we are. I disagree totally. If you aren't able to communicate and be confident then no one will ever be able to see through that to who you really are. You seem to have a lot of support here, I wish you well.


this is what made me think that the fitting in was a factor. Im just saying he needs to be comfortable in himself (not his physical image-Himself) before any makeover will help.

Hmm, that might work for some people. But just having on comfortable clothes and looking nice builds up your confidence. When you aren't very confident you yourself might miss your good qualities. I don't mean to argue, as you have a very valid point. People like to feel good about themselves including physically. The inner stuff is something that will take time and effort to change. Clothing and appearance is something he can do immediately to feel good so why tell him to wait?

Hi Sweetie,

Let me tell you one thing, nerds are hot!

Don't worry about what other people are saying about you and stop constantly downing yourself because you don't think you meet up to a certain standard. May I ask how old you are? Age plays a big factor in where you are to make a change in your life. If you are making the change for yourself because you aren't comfortable with who you are then its a good thing to do. Changing who you are to impress your peers and to get a date... I know I have done it at one point or another and I bet almost everyone on this board has also. If you want to change the outer you to be more comfident, then go for it. But don't change who you are on the inside. I would find a guy telling me how the inside of a computer works to be extremely interesting and would make me think the guy I am talking to actually thinks about stuff other than sports, women, beer, and cars. Do like some of the others said and buy you a few pairs of nice jeans, not tight ones (don't wanna look emo. lol), a couple of polo shirts with a nice white undershirt, a belt and a nice pair of shoes. Maybe get a hair cut if you need one and ditch the glasses (if you wear them) for contacts. Good luck!

Thanks. I'm in my 20's. I really don't plan to change who I am on the inside; I just want to be able to connect with people.

All right, man... I didn't read any of the advice above, because I didn't need to. I'm a (recovering) geek. Master's in Computer Science, I work in IT, used to be all into video games, computers, all that. Today, though, when people meet me, no one believes I'm a computer programmer, because I'm just generally a cool guy (well, as cool as a programmer can be, but it's enough :)). So I've gone through the change. Still a few corners to iron out but I'm pretty much recovered: I'm into sports, I attract hot girls, dress well--all that stuff.

Admittedly, I didn't have it as bad as you, but I did wear terrible clothes. I'll tell you what I did.

CLOTHES: this is the first thing you should change, because it's the easiest. A friend of mine once told me "clothes are 50% of it." He's right. Absolutely right. More than half your body is covered in clothes so that's the first thing people notice. Get yourself to some nice clothing stores and get nice clothes. Clothes that fit. Color-coordinated. Have a female friend help you out, as they were practically put on the earth to help men look like civilized members of society.

You don't necessarily have to buy $100 shirts, but be prepared to spend some money. Start with a nice shirt. If you can get a pair of jeans, great. Then get a decent pair of shoes. Thankfully, you're a dude, so shoes shouldn't cost you more than $50.

Before I move on, if you're already wondering how you're going to pay for all this stuff...

MONEY: Get it. Lots of it. As much as you can. Quit spending on computers and start saving for trips to the mall, and then on your dates. If you're not making enough money right now, you need to get a better job. Being a computer nerd helps here--I made a decent chunk of change doing websites. HTML, CSS and PHP are all you need for 90% of the web pages you'll ever do. You might need some JavaScript but there are so many tutorials for all the neat tricks you'll want to do. A web page can take you a week if you take your time and you can make $2K, easy. That right there should tide you over for some time.

(EDIT: I'm assuming you're still in school, right? If not, then hopefully you have a better job than doing websites... this is what I did in college and it worked very well. Obviously, I make much more now.)

Moving on to...

GYM: Join one. Notice how all the guys girls want look good? Well it's high time to join them. If you're too fat, lose weight. Too skinny? Lift. Now, this is more a long-term goal, as you can't achieve these results instantly, or even within a short time. We're talking a years-long project. But, let me tell you: this is the SINGLE GREATEST THING I've ever done. Being the first in the family to get my Bachelor's and my Master's, the first to be college educated, graduating with honors--none of that compares to looking as good as I do now. Re-read that last sentence over and over until you get it and do not stop until you do.

Make sure the gym you join has an excellent weight training section (you can always lose weight by jogging, like I did). Your goal is not to be a supermodel, but to simply look decent. In fact, many girls have said that a swimmer's body is the most universally appealing, and thankfully that's the easiest body type to achieve (as opposed to super-skinny or ultra-muscular--neither of these body types are really all that attractive to most girls).

Study nutrition and make sure you're not eating garbage. This is also a difficult obstacle, but remember--you're doing it for the nookie. It is worth it.

BTW, at this point every girl on this forum is probably about to hit the reply button, saying "huno, you're really wrong, girls only like good guys, it's what's inside that counts"--that's a load of crap. That is the largest, hottest steaming pile of stank bullsh!t you'll ever be handed by women--and women know how to sling crap better than anyone.

YES--what's inside counts. But it's not everything... in fact it's not even the first thing. First impressions are EVERYTHING, and these are composed of what girls first see. Besides, we'll work on the inside stuff in a sec. So ladies, untwist your panties, I'll get to that.

So while you're working on your physique, you'll want to work on...

SOCIALIZATION: now, most people (guys and girls alike) don't care to talk much about computers. Yes, they can be interesting to you or I but most people just don't give a crap. You need to start studying pop culture--first thing to know is that it's called "pop culture" because it's [I]popular--notice the announcement of the newest Intel processor isn't on MTV, while Britney Spears yelling at photographers is. You don't need to totally transform yourself into an MTV-watching drone, but do know what's going on beyond your PC's case.

You also need to learn to talk to people in general. Buy books on socialization--"How to make friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie is a good start--written long ago, but many of the ideas hold up well today. I have tons of these books and have read them over and over again. At first, you may read them and not implement any of their theories, leading you to believe you wasted your money. But as you keep re-reading them you'll slowly start to incorporate their ideas and you'll see that it wasn't a waste. If you're into studying, this will be an easy one--reading a book with detailed instructions is what we scholars do best.

But more importantly than the above, though: you need to work on your sense of humor. Notice comedians these days make jokes about what they see, what happens to them, real-life observations. Harness this talent of theirs. Buy books on being funny and read them. Girls love guys who can make them laugh--this is (almost) as important as looking good. Cracking good jokes can produce 90% of your conversation Note: avoid computer jokes, unless they're about very ubiquitous subjects, like email or Myspace... and even then there really are better jokes to be made.

Just an example of one I said tonight: I was at a reception for a conference by the harbor, and we're all sitting out there when the cops show up. Being Mexican, I said, "Oh, crap--immigration. I gotta go, guys."

That got a few laughs. One of my buddies is from the UK so the others look at him and say, "Hey, he doesn't have his visa! Come get him!"

I looked at him and said, "Dude, he's lily-white--first thing they'll do is beat the hell outta me and haul me off to Tijuana!"

"Hey, if I don't have my visa I'm illegal too, it's no different!"

"Well maybe... thing is they're not shipping you all the way across the sea to the UK, they'll dump you in Mexico just like me, which is too bad because I know people to get me across the border, I don't know what you're gonna do!"

It's funny 'cause it's true. :) Another easy one: if you're in a store and you need help, find the nearest female employee who's not busy, smile and say, "You look bored. Come help me find something." All but the most frigid b!tches will at least chuckle.

As you begin to learn to make people happy, you need to look happy yourself.

SELF-ESTEEM: this is, next to working out, the hardest thing to change, if this is a problem for you. You need to look like you like yourself. People like confident people, or at least people who appear strong and capable. This isn't about always smiling, grinning like an idiot--but just look like you're calm, collected and in control of yourself. As people notice that you're generally happy, they'll want to be around you. Girls like happy guys. Be happy.

This is one thing Urkel got right--he was generally happy and pleasant. Overly so, yes, but he was happy. That one geeky girl wouldn't have gone for him if he'd been complaining all the time.

Finally, once the gym thing and the inner comedian start to take shape, one last detail:

CONNECTIONS: you will need a healthy network of friends to start meeting girls that you can date. You won't be able to date every girl you meet, but if you roll the dice enough times eventually you'll get a good roll and go out on a date. The more friends, male or female, you have, the better your odds. Make sure they're real friends before you ask, though--minor acquaintances won't really help here.

Girls are especially eager to play matchmaker, so solicit their help when and where appropriate.

I hope this helps, and I hope it's as much fun to read as it was to write. I went through the change and I'm much happier for it. I could describe all the details of my past but I'll leave that for another day, in case you want to know.

Good luck!



--huno

P.S.: you may be wondering why I didn't mention specifically how to flirt or ask girls out or whatever... well, that part actually comes naturally when you learn to socialize with them. A lot of girls, in a subtle way, will ask you to ask them out. They'll start saying things like, "Oh, I want to get a coffee but I don't want to go alone," or "I'd love to go see that movie," or "I can't seem to unhook my bra; will you help me?"

P.P.S.: some girls may still think my advice is very centered around looks. All I'll say is when I was fat and dressed by my mom I couldn't get anyone to even come close to me. Just by changing my clothes I got a few girls to start looking. Then I became very athletic and girls were grabbing my @ss every so often. Now that I know how to make a girl smile, I really do get a lot of attention and a few dates... I'm not batting 1.000, but I'm WAY better off than I was before.

It's time for you to make some changes yourself. Start working out. Join a gym if there's one nearby that you can afford. If not, a 2-mile run every day followed by 20 push-ups will work wonders. Work your way up to 3 miles a day and 30 push-ups. Eat good foods ; fruit, vegetables, lean meats ; nothing high-fat or sugary. Drink plenty of fluids, mostly water. When it's time for a new wardrobe, purchase clothes that are currently in style. If unsure, note what's on prominent display at the clothing store or ask a trusted female (not your mother!) for her opinion. If necessary, do something with your hair at a reputable professional hair cuttery/salon. Again, a trusted female, preferably one close to your own age, can help. Grabbing a copy of the latest issue of GQ or similar publication can give you some ideas as well. If you wear glasses, get contacts instead. The general idea is to make yourself attractive so that you will be.

All right, man... I didn't read any of the advice above, because I didn't need to. I'm a (recovering) geek. Master's in Computer Science, I work in IT, used to be all into video games, computers, all that. Today, though, when people meet me, no one believes I'm a computer programmer, because I'm just generally a cool guy (well, as cool as a programmer can be, but it's enough :)). So I've gone through the change. Still a few corners to iron out but I'm pretty much recovered: I'm into sports, I attract hot girls, dress well--all that stuff.

Admittedly, I didn't have it as bad as you, but I did wear terrible clothes. I'll tell you what I did.

CLOTHES: this is the first thing you should change, because it's the easiest. A friend of mine once told me "clothes are 50% of it." He's right. Absolutely right. More than half your body is covered in clothes so that's the first thing people notice. Get yourself to some nice clothing stores and get nice clothes. Clothes that fit. Color-coordinated. Have a female friend help you out, as they were practically put on the earth to help men look like civilized members of society.

You don't necessarily have to buy $100 shirts, but be prepared to spend some money. Start with a nice shirt. If you can get a pair of jeans, great. Then get a decent pair of shoes. Thankfully, you're a dude, so shoes shouldn't cost you more than $50.

Before I move on, if you're already wondering how you're going to pay for all this stuff...

MONEY: Get it. Lots of it. As much as you can. Quit spending on computers and start saving for trips to the mall, and then on your dates. If you're not making enough money right now, you need to get a better job. Being a computer nerd helps here--I made a decent chunk of change doing websites. HTML, CSS and PHP are all you need for 90% of the web pages you'll ever do. You might need some JavaScript but there are so many tutorials for all the neat tricks you'll want to do. A web page can take you a week if you take your time and you can make $2K, easy. That right there should tide you over for some time.

(EDIT: I'm assuming you're still in school, right? If not, then hopefully you have a better job than doing websites... this is what I did in college and it worked very well. Obviously, I make much more now.)

Moving on to...

GYM: Join one. Notice how all the guys girls want look good? Well it's high time to join them. If you're too fat, lose weight. Too skinny? Lift. Now, this is more a long-term goal, as you can't achieve these results instantly, or even within a short time. We're talking a years-long project. But, let me tell you: this is the SINGLE GREATEST THING I've ever done. Being the first in the family to get my Bachelor's and my Master's, the first to be college educated, graduating with honors--none of that compares to looking as good as I do now. Re-read that last sentence over and over until you get it and do not stop until you do.

Make sure the gym you join has an excellent weight training section (you can always lose weight by jogging, like I did). Your goal is not to be a supermodel, but to simply look decent. In fact, many girls have said that a swimmer's body is the most universally appealing, and thankfully that's the easiest body type to achieve (as opposed to super-skinny or ultra-muscular--neither of these body types are really all that attractive to most girls).

Study nutrition and make sure you're not eating garbage. This is also a difficult obstacle, but remember--you're doing it for the nookie. It is worth it.

BTW, at this point every girl on this forum is probably about to hit the reply button, saying "huno, you're really wrong, girls only like good guys, it's what's inside that counts"--that's a load of crap. That is the largest, hottest steaming pile of stank bullsh!t you'll ever be handed by women--and women know how to sling crap better than anyone.

YES--what's inside counts. But it's not everything... in fact it's not even the first thing. First impressions are EVERYTHING, and these are composed of what girls first see. Besides, we'll work on the inside stuff in a sec. So ladies, untwist your panties, I'll get to that.

So while you're working on your physique, you'll want to work on...

SOCIALIZATION: now, most people (guys and girls alike) don't care to talk much about computers. Yes, they can be interesting to you or I but most people just don't give a crap. You need to start studying pop culture--first thing to know is that it's called "pop culture" because it's [I]popular--notice the announcement of the newest Intel processor isn't on MTV, while Britney Spears yelling at photographers is. You don't need to totally transform yourself into an MTV-watching drone, but do know what's going on beyond your PC's case.

You also need to learn to talk to people in general. Buy books on socialization--"How to make friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie is a good start--written long ago, but many of the ideas hold up well today. I have tons of these books and have read them over and over again. At first, you may read them and not implement any of their theories, leading you to believe you wasted your money. But as you keep re-reading them you'll slowly start to incorporate their ideas and you'll see that it wasn't a waste. If you're into studying, this will be an easy one--reading a book with detailed instructions is what we scholars do best.

But more importantly than the above, though: you need to work on your sense of humor. Notice comedians these days make jokes about what they see, what happens to them, real-life observations. Harness this talent of theirs. Buy books on being funny and read them. Girls love guys who can make them laugh--this is (almost) as important as looking good. Cracking good jokes can produce 90% of your conversation Note: avoid computer jokes, unless they're about very ubiquitous subjects, like email or Myspace... and even then there really are better jokes to be made.

Just an example of one I said tonight: I was at a reception for a conference by the harbor, and we're all sitting out there when the cops show up. Being Mexican, I said, "Oh, crap--immigration. I gotta go, guys."

That got a few laughs. One of my buddies is from the UK so the others look at him and say, "Hey, he doesn't have his visa! Come get him!"

I looked at him and said, "Dude, he's lily-white--first thing they'll do is beat the hell outta me and haul me off to Tijuana!"

"Hey, if I don't have my visa I'm illegal too, it's no different!"

"Well maybe... thing is they're not shipping you all the way across the sea to the UK, they'll dump you in Mexico just like me, which is too bad because I know people to get me across the border, I don't know what you're gonna do!"

It's funny 'cause it's true. :) Another easy one: if you're in a store and you need help, find the nearest female employee who's not busy, smile and say, "You look bored. Come help me find something." All but the most frigid b!tches will at least chuckle.

As you begin to learn to make people happy, you need to look happy yourself.

SELF-ESTEEM: this is, next to working out, the hardest thing to change, if this is a problem for you. You need to look like you like yourself. People like confident people, or at least people who appear strong and capable. This isn't about always smiling, grinning like an idiot--but just look like you're calm, collected and in control of yourself. As people notice that you're generally happy, they'll want to be around you. Girls like happy guys. Be happy.

This is one thing Urkel got right--he was generally happy and pleasant. Overly so, yes, but he was happy. That one geeky girl wouldn't have gone for him if he'd been complaining all the time.

Finally, once the gym thing and the inner comedian start to take shape, one last detail:

CONNECTIONS: you will need a healthy network of friends to start meeting girls that you can date. You won't be able to date every girl you meet, but if you roll the dice enough times eventually you'll get a good roll and go out on a date. The more friends, male or female, you have, the better your odds. Make sure they're real friends before you ask, though--minor acquaintances won't really help here.

Girls are especially eager to play matchmaker, so solicit their help when and where appropriate.

I hope this helps, and I hope it's as much fun to read as it was to write. I went through the change and I'm much happier for it. I could describe all the details of my past but I'll leave that for another day, in case you want to know.

Good luck!



--huno

P.S.: you may be wondering why I didn't mention specifically how to flirt or ask girls out or whatever... well, that part actually comes naturally when you learn to socialize with them. A lot of girls, in a subtle way, will ask you to ask them out. They'll start saying things like, "Oh, I want to get a coffee but I don't want to go alone," or "I'd love to go see that movie," or "I can't seem to unhook my bra; will you help me?"

P.P.S.: some girls may still think my advice is very centered around looks. All I'll say is when I was fat and dressed by my mom I couldn't get anyone to even come close to me. Just by changing my clothes I got a few girls to start looking. Then I became very athletic and girls were grabbing my @ss every so often. Now that I know how to make a girl smile, I really do get a lot of attention and a few dates... I'm not batting 1.000, but I'm WAY better off than I was before.

Thanks. I really read your whole post. I copied it and pasted it on my computer.

Thanks. I really read your whole post. I copied it and pasted it on my computer.

Well, you're welcome. It doesn't mean anything if you don't put it into practice, though, so be sure to start doing little things to achieve your goals.

It's like writing a computer program: you can't expect two or three lines to be an entire app--it takes thousands of lines (and even more debugging) to make a good program. In fact, think of yourself as a program: you need to be lean, mean, internet-capable and free of memory leaks.

Incidentally, what are we working with here? Are you in college? High school? A working professional? Traveling gypsy? And are you thin or fat or somewhere in between? Do you own deodorant? I think we're better suited to help you if we know exactly what it is we're dealing with.

Well, you're welcome. It doesn't mean anything if you don't put it into practice, though, so be sure to start doing little things to achieve your goals.

It's like writing a computer program: you can't expect two or three lines to be an entire app--it takes thousands of lines (and even more debugging) to make a good program. In fact, think of yourself as a program: you need to be lean, mean, internet-capable and free of memory leaks.

Incidentally, what are we working with here? Are you in college? High school? A working professional? Traveling gypsy? And are you thin or fat or somewhere in between? Do you own deodorant? I think we're better suited to help you if we know exactly what it is we're dealing with.

I'm in college. I'm fat. Yes. I own deodorant. :D

I'm in college. I'm fat. Yes. I own deodorant. :D

Okay, well 1 out of 3 isn't bad... what brand? :D

Personally, I didn't really start pulling in wickedly hot @ss until I was about to finish grad school, because it took roughly that long for me to make the transition. Now, it may take you more or less time, I dunno; but the point is that you start. It's slow going at first and for months you may think you've actually made no progress, but believe me when I say every step helps.

(BTW, at this point you may be wondering if I'm being sarcastic when I talk about making a change, transforming myself, etc.; I am not. I really was a sexless loser at one point, and now I'm not... at least I like to think I'm not. :)).

So you're in college... now's a good time to get yourself involved in things other than computers. What are you into? Are there social clubs that deal with your interests? Even if they are things you think won't help you socially, try something new: you'd be surprised the doors that other things can open. I found myself socializing a lot more when I started to get involved in a peer group in grad school, and that helped me tremendously.

Also, believe it or not you can ask your female friends for advice on how to talk to girls, how to flirt, etc. I did that and I'm grateful for it, since most girls are more than happy to talk about such things. It's pure entertainment for them... well, it was for me, too, but for me it was more of a learning experience. In any case, if you have any close female friends, you should solicit them for advice. Do so lightly, don't make it seem as though you're desperate. They may even introduce you to some of their friends. :) But make sure you ask advice from girls who are your friends and that you have no romantic interest in whatsoever--asking for girl advice automatically puts you in the "friend zone" and it's damn near impossible to get out... it's kind of like getting a football player to like soccer.

Finally, though, I want to stress that you need to try and lose weight. Now, I know I'm opening up a Pandora's Box of criticisms, counterpoints and just general monkey crap, but I am a firm believer in being fit and looking good, both for physical health and social health. Yes, there are guys who are overweight or underweight who still manage to date lots of girls, but that's because their game is tighter than the jeans of the girls they boink every night--and since you say you don't have those skills (or at least you're implying you don't, otherwise you wouldn't be here), you should work on your looks. I'm telling you--it's my single greatest accomplishment.

It's slow going at first, though... well, scratch that--it is a roller coaster at first. When you first start exercising, you'll rapidly lose weight, but it'll mostly be water. You'll still look thinner, but you won't have burned off much fat. Once you burn off this water, though, you'll notice that the rate at which you lose weight slows down to almost zero--this is normal. You have to keep working through it to get to the light at the end of the tunnel.

But just starting to exercise (and then sticking with it) is hard, too. I'll tell you what got me started and what kept me motivated: rejection. Let me tell you about the event that started the legend that is huno:

Back when I was a lard repository, I met this girl online. We chatted, flirted, etc. all that. At one point, we agreed to meet. In order for us to do so, I had to drive four hours and meet her in her hometown. We'd never talked about our looks, though we'd sent each other head shots, so I didn't know quite what to expect; I did know, though, that no matter what happened, I liked her as a friend and I'd be satisfied with that. Anyway, when I got there, we met--she was overweight too, but she was also clearly unsatisfied with the way I looked. I won't go into details but needless to say, she never called or wrote me again.

Now, I'd been rejected before--countless times--but that last one really set me off. How can she, who was also fat, reject ME? I told myself I would never have that problem again and started jogging the next day. I think I lasted about 5 minutes jogging before I got tired and had to walk... but I knew rivers started as a trickle of water so I kept at it. I went from 300 lbs. and, off and on, by dieting and maintaining a solid exercise schedule, dropped to 170 lbs. Size 44 waist to size 30. It was like deflating a blimp.

One thing I regret during this time is that I didn't lift weights... when I was at 170 I looked way too skinny. Now that I'm lifting I look a lot better.

Anyway, the new look pays off. Every girl I meet thinks I'm hot. Clothes used to make me look good--now I make clothes look good. :D I can't say enough about the benefits. My point is that you should try it. You have to sacrifice a lot, including favorite foods, time, energy, etc. but it is so worth it... I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.

So, that's my bit. I hope you do manage to solve your problem, any way you choose to do so. My way isn't the only way, of course, but I can tell you I personally went through it and it's brought me a lot of success and joy. It was long, painful and I thought I'd never grow out of my old ways, but now I know better.

Good luck!

I went from 300 lbs. and, off and on, by dieting and maintaining a solid exercise schedule, dropped to 170 lbs. Size 44 waist to size 30. It was like deflating a blimp.

U can get a lot of ladies' attention by talking about your fitness experience... trust me!
It is incredible!

Okay, well 1 out of 3 isn't bad... what brand? :D

Personally, I didn't really start pulling in wickedly hot @ss until I was about to finish grad school, because it took roughly that long for me to make the transition. Now, it may take you more or less time, I dunno; but the point is that you start. It's slow going at first and for months you may think you've actually made no progress, but believe me when I say every step helps.

(BTW, at this point you may be wondering if I'm being sarcastic when I talk about making a change, transforming myself, etc.; I am not. I really was a sexless loser at one point, and now I'm not.... at least I like to think I'm not. :)).

So you're in college... now's a good time to get yourself involved in things other than computers. What are you into? Are there social clubs that deal with your interests? Even if they are things you think won't help you socially, try something new: you'd be surprised the doors that other things can open. I found myself socializing a lot more when I started to get involved in a peer group in grad school, and that helped me tremendously.

Also, believe it or not you can ask your female friends for advice on how to talk to girls, how to flirt, etc. I did that and I'm grateful for it, since most girls are more than happy to talk about such things. It's pure entertainment for them... well, it was for me, too, but for me it was more of a learning experience. In any case, if you have any close female friends, you should solicit them for advice. Do so lightly, don't make it seem as though you're desperate. They may even introduce you to some of their friends. :) But make sure you ask advice from girls who are your friends and that you have no romantic interest in whatsoever--asking for girl advice automatically puts you in the "friend zone" and it's damn near impossible to get out... it's kind of like getting a football player to like soccer.

Finally, though, I want to stress that you need to try and lose weight. Now, I know I'm opening up a Pandora's Box of criticisms, counterpoints and just general monkey crap, but I am a firm believer in being fit and looking good, both for physical health and social health. Yes, there are guys who are overweight or underweight who still manage to date lots of girls, but that's because their game is tighter than the jeans of the girls they boink every night--and since you say you don't have those skills (or at least you're implying you don't, otherwise you wouldn't be here), you should work on your looks. I'm telling you--it's my single greatest accomplishment.

It's slow going at first, though... well, scratch that--it is a roller coaster at first. When you first start exercising, you'll rapidly lose weight, but it'll mostly be water. You'll still look thinner, but you won't have burned off much fat. Once you burn off this water, though, you'll notice that the rate at which you lose weight slows down to almost zero--this is normal. You have to keep working through it to get to the light at the end of the tunnel.

But just starting to exercise (and then sticking with it) is hard, too. I'll tell you what got me started and what kept me motivated: rejection. Lemme tell you about the event that started the legend that is huno:

Back when I was a lard repository, I met this girl online. We chatted, flirted, etc., all that. At one point, we agreed to meet. In order for us to do so, I had to drive four hours and meet her in her hometown. We'd never talked about our looks, though we'd sent each other head shots, so I didn't know quite what to expect; I did know, though, that no matter what happened, I liked her as a friend and I'd be satisfied with that. Anyway, when I got there, we met--she was overweight too, but she was also clearly unsatisfied with the way I looked. I won't go into details but needless to say, she never called or wrote me again.

Now, I'd been rejected before--countless times--but that last one really set me off. How can she, who was also fat, reject ME?! I told myself I would never have that problem again and started jogging the next day. I think I lasted about 5 minutes jogging before I got tired and had to walk... but I knew rivers started out as a trickle of water so I kept at it. I went from 300 lbs. and, off and on, by dieting and maintaining a solid exercise schedule, dropped to 170 lbs. Size 44 waist to size 30. It was like deflating a blimp.

One thing I regret during this time is that I didn't lift weights... when I was at 170 I looked way too skinny. Now that I'm lifting I look a lot better.

Anyway, the new look pays off. Every girl I meet thinks I'm hot. Clothes used to make me look good--now I make clothes look good. :D I can't say enough about the benefits. My point is that you should try it. You have to sacrifice a lot, including favorite foods, time, energy, etc., but it is so worth it... I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.

So, that's my bit. I hope you do manage to solve your problem, any way you choose to do so. My way isn't the only way, of course, but I can tell you I personally went through it and it's brought me a lot of success and joy. It was long, painful and I thought I'd never grow out of my old ways, but now I know better.

Good luck!
What brand? 24/7 speed stick.
Okay. I have taken your advice. I'm waking up at 5:30am daily, doing P.T. Here is what I'm doing: 1.Cardio exercise -25min. 2.Squats -2sets of 25reps. 3.Toe Touches -1set of 25reps. 4.Knee Lifts -1set of 25reps on each leg. 5.Push-ups -3sets of 10reps. 6.Sit-ups -2sets of 25reps.

If you really want to change I can't really help you with clothes you goota figure that out but man just work out a lot and play some sports preffeably football.

What brand? 24/7 speed stick.
Okay. I have taken your advice. I'm waking up at 5:30am daily, doing P.T. Here is what I'm doing: 1.Cardio exercise -25min. 2.Squats -2sets of 25reps. 3.Toe Touches -1set of 25reps. 4.Knee Lifts -1set of 25reps on each leg. 5.Push-ups -3sets of 10reps. 6.Sit-ups -2sets of 25reps.

All right! Good to know you're getting into working out. There are so many benefits besides pulling in all sorts of @ss... of course pulling in all sorts of @ss is the best reason, but there are others...

Anyway, keep it up. Do whatever it takes to maintain your momentum. But do remember to work on other things you feel you need help on, particularly socializing.

I wish you luck in your endeavor and hope you discover the same success I did. It's not really the kind of success you can brag to anyone, but you'll know you're better off for it and your quality of life will improve immensely. Good luck!

Well its good that your open to changes. most nerdy guys and girls i know that i try to convince to be cool wont listin to me or anyone and actually look down on everyone else for being normal or even for lack of a better word "cool".esp scince ima cheerleader and prom queens they hate listing to me cause apparently im not smart enouf for them but anyways.

dont go the hip hop route.that whole scene is played out. try the clean cut preppy rout. i suggest french connection and club monaco and express. those are mature dressy fashion clothes that real women like.

and a nice hair cut.gelling you hair actually makes ur look more hot btw.get a nice hair trendy cut u can get out of the shower gel it and be done. avoid, brooklyns/blowouts tho.

music wise the hip hop and rap is great the beats the words.but dont jsut stick to that be open music is really impt. esp on striking conversations.get ot know your hip hop and house and classic rock its even cool to like techno.

please dont go around trying to sound cool. saying things like word is bond,or narley.def. not cool.

get offline get a drink in your system and go to a club. esp if ur drunk u can mingle with your new look and prolly pick up the ladies.let the outgoing not nerdy guy show.the new look wil lgive u the confidence u need.

and remember theres a balance of being hip.and nerdy and wen u can combine those ur go it made. :cool: ---- a cool guy for you ahahaahaah

Well its good that your open to changes. most nerdy guys and girls i know that i try to convince to be cool wont listin to me or anyone and actually look down on everyone else for being normal or even for lack of a better word "cool".esp scince ima cheerleader and prom queens they hate listing to me cause apparently im not smart enouf for them but anyways.

dont go the hip hop route.that whole scene is played out. try the clean cut preppy rout. i suggest french connection and club monaco and express. those are mature dressy fashion clothes that real women like.

and a nice hair cut.gelling you hair actually makes ur look more hot btw.get a nice hair trendy cut u can get out of the shower gel it and be done. avoid, brooklyns/blowouts tho.

music wise the hip hop and rap is great the beats the words.but dont jsut stick to that be open music is really impt. esp on striking conversations.get ot know your hip hop and house and classic rock its even cool to like techno.

please dont go around trying to sound cool. saying things like word is bond,or narley.def. not cool.

get offline get a drink in your system and go to a club. esp if ur drunk u can mingle with your new look and prolly pick up the ladies.let the outgoing not nerdy guy show.the new look wil lgive u the confidence u need.

and remember theres a balance of being hip.and nerdy and wen u can combine those ur go it made. :cool: ---- a cool guy for you ahahaahaah

I can do everything that you just mentioned except for the clubbing part. The club is a dangerous place for me to be in my city.

The shoes aren't bad but the beige pants and the shirts you could go for jeans and band/skateboarder t's or just vintege ts.

Try thrift stores they have cool stuff sometimes

The shoes aren't bad but the beige pants and the shirts you could go for jeans and band/skateboarder t's or just vintege ts.

try thrift stores they have cool stuff sometimes

All right. Thanks.

I'd say that if you are really as bad as Urkle at his worst then maybe practice in front of a mirror to see how you look to others. Say things that you have said that make you come off like Urkle and how you would respond back. Also look at clothes you like and try and figure out what it is about them that just doesn't seem to fit in and what would work better.
If you don't like jeans there are all kinds of pants that are in style. Look around the mall and figure a new look for you.

I think people place too much emphasis on looks/clothes.
Yes they are important, but the most important thing bar none is your confidence.

Women are just men with slight differences. You don't get shy around men, so why do so around women? I guess you fear rejection, but don't... just get some balls then go into a bar and ask some girls out. If you get rejected then LEARN from your mistakes. It doesn't matter how good looking you are... it depends on how you act. Of course being good looking helps hehe, but if u want to be a cool guy, then act confident and don't give a about anything. I.e don't worry if a girl rejects you.

Also when dating a girl, make sure you keep contact levels fairly low to medium... don't see her too much otherwise you might be fumbling for words as I have done.

Remember... you are a man... not a mouse so act like one

Some girls are into geek stuff - I wouldn't worry about that.

Clothes are easy. Get a couple of magazines for men and have a look - then find similar things in your budget range.

Voice can be worked on. There are even specialists out there if you need them. Try taking a speech class at a community college, first, perhaps.

The most troubling thing you stated is the part about being a momma's boy and unfit. That will not help you cultivate the image you want. Start by working out. When you start seeing results, your confidence should become stronger. With more confidence, you may not need momma's attention so much.

Start slow. Start with the clothes, that's the easiest then work you way along your list.

From my experience, no girls are into geek stuff. If you haven't gotten anyone to like you by the time you're 22, then start saving for plastic surgery and stuff because women won't even truly like a geek for who he is. Trust me. Took until I'm 35 to finally see that women aren't nice and they aren't into geeks, period.

What are you talking about? Why are you telling someone to get plastic surgery? And yes there are "nerdy" girls.

If girls aren't nice to you, maybe its your attitude? The weirdest kids I know have girl friends and are very happy together.

What are you talking about? Why are you telling someone to get plastic surgery? And yes there are "nerdy" girls.

If girls arent nice to you, maybe its your attitude? The weirdest kids i know have girl friends and are very happy together.

I'm starting to think there are 2 kinds of women. The kind that can get most guys they want and will tell a nerdy guy straight up he ain't good enough or the 2nd kind of woman who can't get the guys she wants so then pretends to like the geeky guys so she won't have to live alone with her cats.

Women don't like geeks. I know. I am one. Born one. Lived it. The truth I've learned is pretty hard but it's true. Read Darwin. I didn't want to believe he had it right, but he did get it right.

I'm starting to think there are 2 kinds of women. The kind that can get most guys they want and will tell a nerdy guy straight up he ain't good enough or the 2nd kind of woman who can't get the guys she wants so then pretends to like the geeky guys so she won't have to live alone with her cats.

Women don't like geeks. I know. I am one. Born one. Lived it. The truth I've learned is pretty hard but it's true. Read Darwin. I didn't want to believe he had it right, but he did get it right.




And I think there are two kinds of men - the desperate and the not desperate.

And then there are several categories under those two main categories.

You remind me of the men who come over, ask a woman if he can buy her a drink, she says, "No, thank you" because she can either buy her own drinks and would prefer that OR at the moment doesn't feel like another drink and he goes off about "I'll bet you'd go out with me if I were richer/more handsome/better employed."

The answer is, "I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last man on Earth because your personality stinks."

My all time favorite is, "I'll bet you think I'm not good enough for you." The answer is, "Well, if I didn't before, I sure do now."

From my experience, no girls are into geek stuff. If you haven't gotten anyone to like you by the time you're 22, then start saving for plastic surgery and stuff because women won't even truly like a geek for who he is. Trust me. Took until I'm 35 to finally see that women aren't nice and they aren't into geeks, period.



If all women treat you this same way and you've come to the conclusion that ALL women aren't nice, maybe you should try a different class of women.

What is your specific "geek" problem? The way you dress, the way you act, the way you talk, your interests?

I have found that really attractive women know how shallow it all can be and sort of "go for" men with more substance.

If all women treat you this same way and you've come to the conclusion that ALL women aren't nice, maybe you should try a different class of women.

What is your specific "geek" problem? The way you dress, the way you act, the way you talk, your interests?

I have found that really attractive women know how shallow it all can be and sort of "go for" men with more substance.

In order of rank:

#1- The way I act.
#2- My interests.
#3- The way I talk.
#4 - The way I dress.
Also the way I walk.

If all women treat you this same way and you've come to the conclusion that ALL women aren't nice, maybe you've met rude women. Not all of us are like that. ;)

What is your specific "geek" problem? The way you dress, the way you act, the way you talk, your interests?

I have found that really attractive women know how shallow it all can be and sort of "go for" men with more substance.

I'm not a nerd, but I like a nerd. I'm still in high school, and its true that attractive girls like guys that aren't shallow. If you're trying too hard, it shows that you're too concerned with what other people think, which causes women to think you're superficial. Take it easy.
Don't show off your intellect- bad show. Be humble about your genius.

If you're good on the inside, let women like you for who they are. Don't go chasing- we are tortured when you guys pay no attention to us... because nerds are such intellects which makes you attractive.

However, if the fashion isn't good... work on it. It doesn't have to be expensive, just fashionable and clean. Check out Korean guy fashion- its hot (im not korean, btw)

I would like to ask your guysis hlp I'm a high school nerd and I really want to ask the girl out but I'm a fat geeky nerd

i would like to ask ur guysis hlp im a high school nerd and i really wanna ask the girl out but im a fat geeky nerd


I think everything that has been posted before still applies -

Please only post your question once.

I think everything that has been posted before still applies -

Please only post your question once.

They were piggy backing their question but yes the other replies still apply.

They were piggy backing their question but yes the other replies still apply.



I don't know how you'd separate these two threads - piggybacked and asked somewhere else.

Ok, so I didn't take the time to read ALL OF THESE but from what I have already read, this is all B.S. if you are a so called nerd, then you don't need to CHANGE WHO YOU ARE. Honestly, yes , it is about looks this day and age. You should probably change some of the ways you dress. Hair cuts even. Try some Cologne. It doesn't have to be super expensive. For example. Plato's Closet is a WONDERFUL source for great clothes that are cheap. Axe is a great Cologne for boys. Look at the IN hair cuts and maybe match up to them. The point is DON'T CHANGE WHO YOU ARE unless that's what you want. Don't fit others needs and wants first. Only take these advises if you are willing. But ion the end it will turn out bad for you.. So change everything, but don't change who you are. I am a 16 year old girl in a very judgmental school, I happen to be in the more popular clique you could say. But as far as I'm concerned, if some nerd boy was taking these advises, I would not be game and neither would anyone else. Always stay you, because who cares about school, it's purpose is for you to learn and get into colleges to then get a great career, THEN that's when you find the "one for you". When you find that person he or she will LOVE you for who you are. The way you dress, the way you act etc. I know this sounds stupid and blah like you're parents tell you but when it comes down to it, it's the truth. And for you people who told this person to change everything about themselves, then you have nothing going for you. I understand you were trying to help but that is stereo type b.s.
Good luck darling, and I really hope the best for you.
If you ever need any kind of REAL advise don't be too scared to email me at [email protected]. Or add me on Facebook. Just email for my info.
Best of luck
<3 Chels

Ok, so I didn't take the time to read ALL OF THESE but from what I have already read, this is all B.S. if you are a so called nerd, then you don't need to CHANGE WHO YOU ARE. Honestly, yes , it is about looks this day and age. You should probably change some of the ways you dress. Hair cuts even. Try some Cologne. It doesn't have to be super expensive. For example. Plato's Closet is a WONDERFUL source for great clothes that are cheap. Axe is a great Cologne for boys. Look at the IN hair cuts and maybe match up to them. The point is DON'T CHANGE WHO YOU ARE unless that's what you want. Don't fit others needs and wants first. Only take these advises if you are willing. But ion the end it will turn out bad for you.. So change everything, but don't change who you are. I am a 16 year old girl in a very judgmental school, I happen to be in the more popular clique you could say. But as far as I'm concerned, if some nerd boy was taking these advises, I would not be game and neither would anyone else. Always stay you, because who cares about school, it's purpose is for you to learn and get into colleges to then get a great career, THEN that's when you find the "one for you". When you find that person he or she will LOVE you for who you are. The way you dress, the way you act etc. I know this sounds stupid and blah like you're parents tell you but when it comes down to it, it's the truth. And for you people who told this person to change everything about themselves, then you have nothing going for you. I understand you were trying to help but that is stereo type b.s.
Good luck darling, and I really hope the best for you.

You should have taken the time - this is from 2008, OP has never been back.

You should also read AMHD rules - you cannot post an email or Facebook address.

Closed