In the state of South Dakota, what age do you need to be before you can choose which parent you want to live with?

The simple answer is:you have to be 18.Before 18 the chld/ the teenager... / does not have right to choose it.

Normally at 11 to 14 * sometimes younger** the courts allow them to testify and tell the judge where they want to live, but the judge will also look at the over all best interest of the child also.

The child can never merely decide by thierself, The parent without physcial custody will have to file in family court for support and show with proof why it is in the best interest of the child. Then the child can testify.

In the state of Florida the age is 13. My step brother was able to choose who he wanted to live with at that time.

I'm in UK and 11 year old grandson was allowed to choose. Judge said "The young man has voted with his feet." He asked to come live with me. 14 now and doing great!

In the state of Florida the age is 13. My step brother was able to choose who he wanted to live with at that time.

How did he "choose"? Did he tell a judge that he wanted to live with you? If so, then he did NOT choose. Chuck and GV70 gave the correct answer. A child has to be 18 before they can choose for themselves. A younger child can express their prefences to a judge, but the judge makes the decision not the child.


I'm in UK and 11 year old grandson was allowed to choose. Judge said;"The young man has voted with his feet." He asked to come live with me. 14 now and doing great!

The same is true here, the judge made the decision. Your grandson expressed his opinion and the judge went along with it. But if the judge had decided it was against the best interests of the child he wouldn't have allowed it.

Semantics

You know exactly what I was saying. The judge sat down with my step brother asked him who is wanted to live with, and it was granted. He made the choice and the judge agreed.

angelz921,

Actually that's how I see it too. The young man asked to come stay with me and I simply went to a judge and asked if it was okay.

Semantics

You know exactly what I was saying. The judge sat down with my step brother asked him who is wanted to live with, and it was granted. He made the choice and the judge agreed.

The question was at what age can a child choose for themselves. The correct answer is 18. Under 18 a judge makes the decision. You may call it semantics, but it's a matter of law. If your step brother just moved away from his legal guardian and moved in with you without court approval the legal guardian could have you arrested for kidnapping.

If you can show me some statute in Florida that says a 13 year old can decide who he wants to live with, then I'll concede you were right. Otherwise, your answer was inaccurate and misleading.

In no way was it misleading. And it is only partially inaccurate. The courts will take into consideration a child's feelings, opinions, and requests as long as it is relevant. The wishes of a child usually is a significant part in a judge's decision in awarding custody.

In no way was it misleading. And it is only partially inaccurate. The courts will take into consideration a child's feelings, opinions, and requests as long as it is relevant. The wishes of a child usually is a significant part in a judge's decision in awarding custody.


In the state of Florida the age is 13.

Unless there is a statute on the books in Florida that states that a 13 year old or older can choose their legal guardian, then your statement was indeed misleading.

I don't dispute that the court will take the wishes of the child into account, nor that it may constitute a significant factor in the court's decision. But that it's the court's decision NOT the child's as your initial statement implies. That's what makes your initial statement both misleading and inaccurate. There are many factors that a judge takes into account. They might grant the prefernce of an even younger child, or they might deny the preference of an older one.

We pride ourselves on the accuracy of the advice we give here. That's why it was necessary to correct your advice. I'm not trying to put you down, just to give the OP the most correct advice. I don't want to fight with you, but the facts are as I've stated them.

In no way was it misleading. And it is only partially inaccurate. The courts will take into consideration a child's feelings, opinions, and requests as long as it is relevant. The wishes of a child usually is a significant part in a judge's decision in awarding custody.
OK-The wishes of a child usually is a significant part in a judge's decision in awarding custody... but they are not full determinative.Many children are manipulated by one/usually mother/ parent and the court's role is to determine the real interest.

But then you yourself are giving misleading advice, by telling the person that a child can not choose to live with another parent until they are 18, and by not stating that that they can "ask" the courts to grant there wish to change the guardian. You are not offering up that option. I believe the original poster was looking for the earliest age that a child can "ask" for that particular change, and that the original answer given was not what they were looking for. Ok, so they may have not asked the question correctly, but only a person in the legal field would have taken it so literally.

I am wrong, I can admit that. BUT, you have to agree with the fact that I am correct in what I was saying about age and granting a new guardian at an adequate age, specific to the state. I just believe that, that should have been included somewhere in the answer. As that was what this was pertaining to.

GV70- You are correct, and as a mother I can honestly say that some mothers are manipulative that way but not all are. That is why a judge or advocate of the court will sit down with the child and find out the motive's behind the choice for moving.

But then you yourself are giving misleading advice, by telling the person that a child can not choose to live with another parent until they are 18, and by not stating that that they can "ask" the courts to grant there wish to change the guardian. You are not offering up that option .
The child or teenager CANNOT go to court and to ask changing custody alone!! My answer was correct,so ScottGem was, too... The child can be heard by judge but there are many other circumstances.


I am wrong, I can admit that. BUT, you have to agree with the fact that I am correct in what I was saying about age and granting a new guardian at an adequate age, specific to the state. I just believe that, that should have been included somewhere in the answer. As that was what this was pertaining to.
I know a lot of cases where 7,8... y.o. children were allowed to express their desires but for the public policy,legislation and court practice it is unacceptable to modify custody only because a child wants it... There have to have change of many conditions.

But then you yourself are giving misleading advice, by telling the person that a child can not choose to live with another parent until they are 18, and by not stating that that they can "ask" the courts to grant there wish to change the guardian. You are not offering up that option. I believe the original poster was looking for the earliest age that a child can "ask" for that particular change, and that the original answer given was not what they were looking for. Ok, so they may have not asked the question correctly, but only a person in the legal field would have taken it so literally.

I am wrong, I can admit that. BUT, you have to agree with the fact that I am correct in what I was saying about age and granting a new guardian at an adequate age, specific to the state. I just believe that, that should have been included somewhere in the answer. As that was what this was pertaining to.

First, you need to go back and read what I have said. From my first response, I stated that; "A younger child can express their prefences to a judge, but the judge makes the decision not the child." Also, Chuck, in an answer prior to my 1st response, had already said that.

But as GV70 is pointing out a minor child cannot petition the court for a change of custody. That petition has to be bought by an adult. The court will take several factors into consideration including the desires of the child.

The law is VERY literal. Frequently judges have to rule based on "the letter of the law". Where questions of law are involved the advice needs to be factually correct. I'm sorry but your initial answer gave the clear impression that, in Florida, a 13 year can just decide who they want to live with. Since that impression is incorrect it needed to be corrected.

I really don't want to fight with you. I will restate the facts once more.

A minor child (meaning one under the age of 18) cannot decide on their own who they can live with or who will be their guardian. For a change in custody or guardianship to occur an adult has to file a peitition in Family Court. In deciding whether to grant the change, the judge will take into account the child's wishes. But that will not be the only factor taken into account. The decision to grant the change is SOLELY up to the judge, who should be making the decision based on the best interests of the child.

I don't think I can state that any clearer. Any advice that does not conform to those facts is inaccurate.

Over 35 states have laws authorizing courts to consider a child's
Preference concerning which parent she wants to live with following a
Divorce or separation, provided the child is over a certain age (about
Ten). Generally, the older the child, the more weight the desire is
Given. In a few states, the court must grant the child's wish if the
Child is at least a certain age (usually 12 to 14).

Over 35 states have laws authorizing courts to consider a child's
preference concerning which parent she wants to live with following a
divorce or separation, provided the child is over a certain age (about
ten). Generally, the older the child, the more weight the desire is
given. In a few states, the court must grant the child's wish if the
child is at least a certain age (usually 12 to 14).
Please-do not flood the forum. I have been working for fifteen years with different court systems... Give an example in which state the court MUST grant the child's wish if the child is 12, by what law and rule it is required... or leave the Family law forum.

In all cases in which the child has reached the age of 14 years, the child shall have the right to select the parent with whom he or she desires to live. The child´s selection shall be controlling, unless the parent so selected is determined not to be a fit and proper person to have the custody of the child.

In all cases in which the child has reached the age of at least 11 but not 14 years, the court shall consider the desires, if any, and educational needs of the child in determining which parent shall have custody. (Georgia Code - Sections: 19-9-1 and 19-9-51)

Please explain how I am wrong with this one?

In canada when my parents divorced I didn't know I could state my prefrences but if your 18 u can choose where you go if your anywhere from 11 and up and you request to state your prefrence where to live they might let you

In all cases in which the child has reached the age of 14 years, the child shall have the right to select the parent with whom he or she desires to live. The child´s selection shall be controlling, unless the parent so selected is determined not to be a fit and proper person to have the custody of the child.

In all cases in which the child has reached the age of at least 11 but not 14 years, the court shall consider the desires, if any, and educational needs of the child in determining which parent shall have custody. (Georgia Code - Sections: 19-9-1 and 19-9-51)

Please explain how I am wrong with this one?
Consider-To think carefully about.To think or deem to be;To form an opinion about.To take into account; bear in mind... To look at thoughtfully.Where is the obligation??

If a parent believes that a change in custody is necessary, because of a change in circumstances, a motion may be filed with the court asking for a hearing regarding custody, and stating on the motion the reasons that a change is being requested. A motion may be filed by a party's attorney, or Motion Regarding Custody, FOC 87, may be filed by an unrepresented parent.

The court may grant or deny the motion, order an investigation by the FOC, or set the matter for an evidentiary hearing. The court will always consider the best interest of the child in ordering a change in custody. The court will generally talk with the child or children before making a change in custody. A change in custody will only be made if it is shown to be in the child's best interest by clear and convincing evidence if the child has an established custodial environment with one parent or the other. If there is not an established custodial environment with one parent or the other, a preponderance of the evidence must show that a change in custody would be in the child's best interest.

To seek a change of custody, a Motion must be filed along with an affidavit (a sworn statement) supporting that position.

If the matter does proceed to court, it is important to understand the standard that the Court will apply when deciding whether to modify the existing custody arrangement. Different standards apply in different states. However, there are two common elements. In almost all jurisdictions:

1. a parent seeking to change custody through the court usually must show that the conditions have changed substantially since the last custody order;

2. Additionally, it is generally presumed that the court should retain the current custody arrangement unless the party seeking the change custody demonstrates that it has met the statutory criteria by a preponderance of the evidence.

This is where state laws diverge into three general standards that are applied in different states.

BEST INTERESTS STANDARD

A majority of states use a “best interests of the child” standard when determining whether to modify existing custody arrangements. That means the Courts will look at all circumstances affecting the child and determine whether a change of custody is in the child's best interests. Even under this standard there is generally a presumption to retain the current custodial arrangement. When applying this standard, the Court is often guided by specific factors to consider set out in the family law code. Some factors may include:

1. The wishes of each of the parents;

2. The physical and psychological capacity of each parent to provide care for the child;

3. The desires of any child who is of a suitable age and maturity to express a desire;

4. The residential and employment stability of each parent;

5. Where there have been any incidents of neglect or abuse;

6. Each parents past history of providing care for the child which is often referred to as determining the child's primary caretaker.

7. The child's relationship with siblings or other in home family members including potential second family members.

8. The ability of the parents to communicate and cooperate on child rearing issues;

9. Each parent's willingness to facilitate and encourage the child's relationship with the other parent.

10. The child's adjustment to home, school, and community;

11. The length of time the child has lived in a stable, satisfactory environment and the desirability of maintaining continuity;

Georgia has adopted BEST INTERESTS STANDARD. The child's wish is only one of eleven conditions.

One of the most common questions asked is when a child can decide where they will live. In almost all states, the child's wishes are only one factor out of many and are never dispositive with regard to the issue. However, as each child matures, their wishes will carry greater weight in contested custody proceedings. There is also one notable exception to the rule. In the State of Georgia, it is presumed that a child age fourteen (14) or older can decide where they will reside. Even that presumption, however, may be rebutted with contrary evidence
19-9-3. Discretion of court in custody disputes; right of child 14 years old or older to select custodial parent; consideration of child's educational needs; review of visitation rights; grandparent visitation; policy

(4) In all custody cases in which the child has reached the age of 14 years, the child shall have the right to select the parent with whom he or she desires to live. The child's selection shall be controlling...

Please-do not flood the forum. I have been working for fifteen years with different court systems...Give an example in which state the court MUST grant the child's wish if the child is 12, by what law and rule it is required...or leave the Family law forum.


I was told to show the law and rule or leave. I did what was asked. That is that!

Modification of Custody in Georgia

When a parent seeks to have the custody order changed, it is his/her burden to show the court why it should be changed. The court follows the old notion of, "if it isn't broke don't fix it." This is based on the idea that stability is best for the child unless you can show that there is something in the environment that will adversely impact on the well being of the child. This is not as simple as it may seem. The factor(s) in the environment have to not just make your home as good as the custodial parents, but better. To do this you must show that there has been a substantial change in circumstances and that it is in the child's best interests to make the change you are proposing. If the two homes are thought to be equal, then custody will stay as it is. Remember, a temporary or pendente lite custody order is not a final order. You would not be required to show a substantial change in circumstances to have custody changed in the "permanent" custody order.

A child at least 16 years of age can seek a change in custody on his/her own. However, it will be the minor's burden to prove that a change of custody would be in his/her best interests at this time.

The court that made the original custody and visitation order retains jurisdiction to decide modification unless the parties and child no longer have close ties to the court and the court surrenders its jurisdiction. However, the court with original jurisdiction may refuse to hear the custody case if a child has been wrongfully taken from another state or taken without the consent of the person entitled to custody.



Where is the right to choose?

There is a decision of the Supreme Court of Georgia where is stated "...when disputes about child custody occur the court shall consider carefuly the best interest standart..."

But a child born in the state of GA has every right to make that choice, with the exception that he or she will have to show burden of proof. They are not making the statement that the child has to prove that current parent is unfit, that could be a number of things from school, location of other parents home vs. current parent. But they do have that choice they just have to do it in the matter that is fitting to an "adult". How is that not giving them the right to choose?

But when neither parent disputes, the court will automatically grant it, unless secondary custodial parent is proven unfit, for whatever reason.

I am not trying to argue with you

Over 35 states have laws authorizing courts to consider a child's preference concerning which parent she wants to live with following a
divorce or separation, provided the child is over a certain age (about
ten). Generally, the older the child, the more weight the desire is
given. In a few states, the court must grant the child's wish if the
child is at least a certain age (usually 12 to 14).

In all cases in which the child has reached the age of 14 years, the child shall have the right to select the parent with whom he or she desires to live. The child´s selection shall be controlling, unless the parent so selected is determined not to be a fit and proper person to have the custody of the child.

In all cases in which the child has reached the age of at least 11 but not 14 years, the court shall consider the desires, if any, and educational needs of the child in determining which parent shall have custody. (Georgia Code - Sections: 19-9-1 and 19-9-51)

Please explain how I am wrong with this one?

Because in the first quote the operative word is consider. In the second quote the court still reserves the right to go against the child's choice if it deems the best interests of the child would not be served.

Neither contradicts the facts as I stated them previously. Neither states that the child can just choose, it still means the court has to issue an order to that effect. Though I must admit I am surprised that any state has codified this to that extent.

And again, Your FIRST response in this thread does not say that. It says simply that in Florida a 13 year old can make the choice on their own. It was THAT specific statement that was misleading and inaccurate. In subsequent responses you have corrected that statement, but you are still trying to justify the original statement.

But a child born in the state of GA has every right to make that choice, with the exception that he or she will have to show burden of proof. They are not making the statement that the child has to prove that current parent is unfit, that could be a number of things from school, location of other parents home vs. current parent. But they do have that choice they just have to do it in the matter that is fitting to an "adult". How is that not giving them the right to choose?

But when neither parent disputes, the court will automatically grant it, unless secondary custodial parent is proven unfit, for whatever reason.

You are confusing the right to EXPRESS a choice with the obligation to APPROVE that choice.

No one has said that the child does not have the right to express a preference. But the approval of that preference is the obligation and responsibility of Family Court. The court has to weigh the desires of the child against what the COURT deems is the best interests of the child. Soi it's the court that makes the final decision. Why can't you understand that?

Lets try an example. This site has rules against attacking another member. What constitutes an attack is often in the eye of the beholder. If I report a note I think is an attack, the admin review the post and decide whether to delete it or not. As a mod myself, my request will carry more weight. But I, myself do not make the decision whether to delete or not, that is made by the mod. I simply express my opinion of the inappropriateness of the post.

The point, again, that there is a difference between the expression of a choice and the granting of that choice.

To choose and to have something awarded are very different... All states / including Georgia/have adopted "BEST INTEREST STANDART'... and it is public policy.Let us immagine a situation: A milksop/brat bed-wetter/ who is 14 yo and changes his/her wishes every week.And now what?Maybe because this milksop has right to choose ,the whole family has to go to court one time a week?And it is recommended to appoint a judge and some social workers to this milksop because he/she changes his/her wishes?
If I have received correct information more than 95 per cent of contested cases in Georgia about custody modification/ incl.teens from 14 to 17/ were confirmed and no modifications were allowed.
By the way I have right to choose to be or not to be General-governor of Canada or Prime minister of the UK.It is bad for me that H.R.M. Queen Elizabeth 2nd does not want to award me this... Unfortunately I was not born in the USA and I have no right to be elected as a President of the USA! INIQUITY:D :D :D :D :D :D