A close cousin of mine recently had to have an abortion because there were complications with her pregnancy. I'm planning to send her a "With Sympathy" card that already has the words "Deepest sympathy at your time of loss" written inside of it. Please tell me what else I could write inside of it, as well as if this type of card is a tactical mistake. Would I be better off with a blank card? Thanks.

Why not send a "Thinking of You" card instead of sympathy?

Amaryllis, I am sorry I didn't see this sooner. I agree with Flossie. I think the Sympathy card isn't the right card to use here.

Find a beautiful "Thinking of You" card that is blank. Since you mentioned that you and she are close, inside the card, consider writing the following:

I know there is nothing that I can say or do that will heal your pain. But, I though it was important to let you know that I am thinking of you and that I love you very much. Let my words here be a hug and kiss to you at the moment until we see each other.

If you live close enough to her, add the following: Expect a call from me in a few days and, at that time, I want you to tell me when you are available for us to get together. We will do whatever you want to do--lunch, dinner, a movie, shopping, or just have a cup of coffee and talk. Then, follow up and make a date with her. She may try putting you off if she is depressed. Feel your way through the phone call and be as uplifting as possible. Make her want to spend time with you. If she wants to talk, then talk to her. If she doesn't want to talk about it, don't push it. Just plan on doing something you know she enjoys doing.

If she doesn't live close by, add this instead: I will call you in a few days. Then call her. Talk to her. Suggest that she come for a visit with you or you go out and visit her. Again, feel your way through the conversation. If she really doesn't want to get together, don't push her. Just tell her over the phone that you love her and that the invitation is always open and that you do want to see her. Call & check up on her from time to time.

Sign the card: I love you, (your name)

I hope this helps. It is hard to find the right words to write without knowing the people involved.:o