I have been with my g/f for about a year and a half. It is a long distance relationship, but we talk every day for hours. She went to visit family for a while, and we still talked every day. The last week she was visiting there, she started to change. I thought it was because of all the drama and probs that were happening. She had quit drinking a while back, but now has started to do so again, saying it's because of stress. I ask her if everything was OK, but I find myself having to pull info out of her again. Until this point, she told me everything without hesitation. Also, she had made some promises to me that she did not keep, which is unusual. I find that she is going online and talking to people, which isn't a prob, but the thing is that it's the same people that used to cause problems between us, and keeps telling me that she blocked these people that disrespected her, but she hasn't. Does she still want to be with me, am I losing her? We love each other a lot, and I can't be without her...

Honestly, it sounds like she's losing interest. When people start to become distant, it's usually because she's hoping you'll end the relationship (so she doesn't have to do it herself).

You might try being very upfront with her: ask her what's going on. If she still likes you, she'll tell you. But if she avoids the question or she gets defensive, then she's on the way out.

I do ask her, and she says she loves me and is still interested in me. She tells me she would never leave me, and I think it may be the drama/stress going on with her, but it's just so confusing. Esp the fact that she is going online to places she told me she wouldn't anymore. But I know she isn't doing anything wrong, besides causing herself more drama/stress.

Well... when it comes to girls, my rule is "listen to what they do, not what they say." I think it's a bit reassuring that she didn't tell you it's over right there and then, but keep her actions in the back fo her mind. Girls often say one thing and do another entirely ("Oh, I'd never go out with a bad boy" is one I've heard contradicted about a jillion times).

If I were you, I'd play it cool, give her breathing room; hopefully she'll come around. But just keep in mind you might lose her.

Ok, so we have been dating for over 1 1/2 years. The thing is she seems to be changing towards me. And since she has come back from a trip, she has def been different. She didn't lie to me, or break any promises to me. But now she seems to be breaking promises to me, because of one she made to someone else. She has also been telling me one thing and doing another. Here is the deal, this may be childish, one example is that she has broken a promise to me about going onto a certain site she promised me that she would never go to again. The reason she stopped going to these sites is because it caused her a lot of stress and drama, and it all ended up effecting our relationship. But when I bring up the fact that she is different towards me it makes her mad, plus she is always reassuring me that there is nothing going on, she is not bored or tired of me, and that she loves me more than anything, now I am getting mixed signals from what she does one time, but then does the opposite the next. I also found out she is talking to a person who she was annoyed with and doesn't like, why would she do this? I know her feelings were strong about not liking this guy because she had the cops involved too, and this guy was stalking/threatening she and I. he also always tried to break us up, but never succeeded, because our relationship is stronger than that. I'm just so confused because of all the mixed signals (word and action). Someone please help...

I know her feelings were strong about not liking this guy because she had the cops involved too, and this guy was stalking/threatening she and I. he also always tried to break us up, but never succeeded, because our relationship is stronger than that.

You hit the nail on the head there. From what I can get from this post, is this :
She's stressed. Maybe she's having Holiday Blues, its where you go on a trip and enjoy yourself so much that when you finally have to come home, you're majorly bummed about it.
It always goes away after a short period, if not, councilers are waiting!
You and her both know you're relationship is strong.
But, maybe she has been playing Opposites, because you make her feel as if you've been nagging at her about it. So to punish you for nagging at her, she's trying to upset you.
She's a woman. I'm a woman. I know how we work some times. Maybe she still upset about that guy trying to tear you apart, and its just getting to her.
Give her some time to her self. Instead of asking her over and over "whats wrong? " or "is something wrong?" Try asking her ones of those ONCE, then if she says " nothing" than shrug it of and say " ok as long as it's not me hun." Kiss her on the cheek. Or just hug her. YOu be amazed at how far just one caring hug can go. Tell her that it upsets you a lot that she's been doing what she's been doing, and let her know that you do still exist and you do feel worried about her actions lately. Let her know that you care. I'm almost positive she'll comearound. Until then, let her breath.
Good luck!

I would not nessesarily agree with AllenS. I had this guy that was in my life that I had a restraining order against called every name in the book and yet... I wanted him sooooooo bad. I never cheated on any of my boyfriends with him but there were many times that I was confused and upset about things he said.

If you have a good girlfriend she'll come around on her own time. If not well then it's good you find out now rather than 2-3 years from now when you're on one knee purposing. And my suggestion, just as a percaution, I would spice things up and surprise her more often even if she does say that things aren't getting boring it never hurts to give your lady that extra love when she seems down.

GOOD LUCK!

I was just answering as my point of view. Not every one will agree with me and I understand that, no reason to tell him to basically disagree with me because you had different experiences than I. I understand that completely. But I was just trying to help.
Pardo`n Moi.
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Thank you for your help. I am also curious how I can bring up the fact that I know that she broke a promise to me by going online and getting in contact with these people? Plus I know she comes online when she promises that she is going to sleep, and I know there are a few times that she signs on right after we get off the phone. She only just started to do the opposite again recently, and I thought for a few days she did stop doing that.

My other question is: how do I confront her about breaking her promise to me. She promised to stay offline, and away from these people. I give her space, and let her contact me when she is ready, but now she is back to spending more time with me during the day. But at night she signs online and stays on late at night, which she just promised that she is going to sleep. I guess maybe she is getting tired/bored with me, but then again maybe she isn't because it seems one way one time, then another the next...

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