Hello all. I just signed up because this site looks to give some good advice, about everything, really.

Anyway, I'm 22 year old male in college. I started talking to this girl on match.com in the beginning of June. Winked, she winked back, started emailing casually... pretty random stuff about us.

Around beginning of July, I asked if she wanted to meet up for an A's game. And maybe meet up once before for a movie or something. She said 'yes' to both. Our busy schedules and such delayed the meeting until just last night.

We both took BART (train) to the game. In the email, she said she'd pay for her ticket, but I got there a few minutes earlier so I paid for both. We had texted each other that morning, and then she called twice, once I was out to lunch and missed it, and then at six, we talked for a few. Game at 7. Anyway, so as I was buying tickets she called and said she was getting off BART. We see each other---we hugged, and then went on our way.

Seemed like every second something funny was happening---couldn't read the tickets, where we were suppose to go, she said "Oh I wanna take a peak", I thought she said "pee", good laugh, etc. She wanted to put ketchup on her dog, I suggested mustard and jokingly asked how could put ketchup, etc. While eating hot dogs she was naming all the food combos she liked... I teased, laughed, etc. She said "I couldn't fill that pitcher's shoes." I took literally and asked, "Why what size are you" she looked blankly. I said you said you couldn't fill his shoes. She was going for the metaphor, we got a laugh out of it. She was very sarcastic and I started to be, too.

I was a kind of shy, because that's how I get in situations like that. She was asking me a lot of questions, too.

She started "dancing" and goofing around, always laughing, trying to get me, too. I said some sarcastic, she playfully hit my arm. And then I was still laughing over the metaphor thing and she started poking me asking what's so funny.

Anyway, we walk around, she says she had to go to the bathroom. I joke "ah to take a peak.." She laughed, etc.

End of night, we go back to BART, she says first she "had a great time." We sit down waiting for our respective trains.

Few silences here and there through out the night.

She asks how am I getting home after BART. She says she's taking bus afterwards.

Something embarassing: I go to say something and my tongue gets the best of me; I end up spitting out a word, a little. We both blow past it, no mentions, and continue on.

My train gets there, we stand up, we hug. I get on train.

OK, so sorry it's so long. :p

Anyway, I call up my friend to tell him all about it. He says he thinks she likes me, and would've accepted a kiss. I was kicking myself for not kissing her, but he said that he should be fine because girls appreciate guys waiting to kiss on another meeting/date and not going fast. Then he said I should text her saying I had a good time, etc. Even though I told her after she said she had a great time. So about two hours after the date, I text her, "Hey [her name], you made the game really fun. We should meet up again sometime."

She's yet to reply. Maybe she's not interested. Maybe not looking to date like that. Maybe doesn't want to seem clingy so she's waiting (it did take her a few days/a week to reply on match.com).

I so don't know how to date. I've only had one girlfriend, lasted 2 1/2 years, and with her we were best friends and fell for each other. So I never did the whole dating thing like this.

Did I text too soon? Do you think she's interested / likes me in a potentional dating sort of way?

I felt some chemistry with her, for sure. But, only thing is, she is going to Spain to study abroad in a month, which says on her profile. Already bought the ticket. So this may also be why she is hesitant to start something.

Opinions / suggestions / thought?

-Thanks!

I think that you are correct that she may be hesitant to get into a relationship that is difficult to continue on a close level because of the distance.

You had fun! Obviously, the both of you have a good sense of humor. I would watch it with the sarcasm, though. Sometimes, using sarcasm can backfire on you. I didn't even know what sarcasm was until I was in my thirties - for real.

Give this situation and woman some time. It sounds to me like there is really something there, based upon your description of what happened. But, having a meaningful relationship over a distance would be difficult. You both need to do what is best for each of you. I would suggest communicating with her about how you feel concerning the relationship and see what she says. You won't know until you ask. It's best not to second guess someone by asking a bunch of strangers. Neutral advice is fine, but in the end, communication between the two persons who are involved in the relationship is best.

That is my take on it, anyway. Hopefully, others will come along to contribute their thoughts and advice.

I also think that you would be a great one to keep a diary of your thoughts. I really enjoyed reading your post! I encourage you to keep and maintain a diary if you are not doing so already. Keeping a diary can help you to sort out your thoughts and figure things out.

I agree with Clough. Maybe she is hesitant, possibly because she is leaving. Maybe calling her one time would be good too, to make it a little more personal. But it does sound like you two would be good together.

I'm going to play the devils advocate and suggest a couple things that haven't been brought up yet.

She might have a boyfriend not mentioned and doesn't want things to go further than they did.

You may have done something inadvertent that was a major turn off for her.

She might just be one of those flaky girls.

BTW, I don't want to offend or generalize women into these categories, these are just some things I've learned from experience. Bottom line, from what you've posted, you haven't done anything wrong. Be assured that any issues are all on her end.

She might have a boyfriend not mentioned and doesn't want things to go further than they did.


Well, on her match.com profile, under "Relationships:" she has "Currently Separated." I know on myspace people put random answers like "Married" etc and stuff that isn't true as a joke. But on sites like match.com people are honest and accurate with that stuff since relationship status is quite imp. For a dating site.

I always wondered about that one about her profile.

I don't get it, just about two months of talking online, and boom, that's it.

I am a female from what I have read here, I am pretty sure she is hesitant because of her leaving. That actually means she is a responsible, rational person. Give her some more time to think about it, keep in touch with her while she is in Spain.:)
Good luck, by the way, I love your post, you both have a good sense of humor I think.
It's okay to be shy since you haven't experienced much yet, hang out with her more, don't ruch into a relationship, that'd will scare her away.

It sounds to me like you both had a great time, and that she liked you. I'd go with the others who said it is because of her leaving.

Maybe you can call her and suggest you keep in touch from time to time, that you'd hate to lose contact with someone so nice. Give her the option of making it friends first while she's gone.

UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!

OK, she emailed me (but never texted back) last night, that I got this morning, and she said this...

Hi John,
I just wanted to thank you for coming up and meeting me for the game. :) I had a good time. If only the A's won! They were playing pretty lousy, I must say.
I liked how we had a little hot dog eating contest, but that could have just been me.

Don't work too hard!
[her name]"


K girls I need you expert advice. I think I Kind of messed up by not planning a 2nd date at the end of the 1st.

But anyway, girls, should I reply? Saying what? I don't want to come off desperate or anything, because I'm not, so what should I do?

Maybe: "yea had fun, hey that harry potter was great, i could see it again ifu wanna go.."

Give your own advice, too!

Sorry, I have like NO experiencing with DATING! Had two girlfriends, both of which started as FRIENDS and talking for several MONTHS, haha.

Oh yeah, does that email sound like a "farewell" kind of thing like, 'had a good time, on to the next guy,' or does it sound like she wants me to reply and MAYBE ask her out again?

Haha, I think I just got a shot of confidence and balls (and cockiness?)! HAha.

Anyway, should I reply with this, "wanna see a movie...and this time i'm gonna kiss you" or '... this time you're getting a kiss... '

Gals, what would you do in this situation if a guy emailed you back this?

Stop right there, do not do that. If a man said that to me while asking for a second date I would refuse. I would also stop all contact. I would feel bullied and like you were trying to force the issue. Ask her out, if she says yes kiss on the check when you greet her hello. Hold her hand at some point during the date for several minutes. Not the whole time that would be clingy. Give a hug and cheek kiss good night . Tell her you want to see her again. Firm up the third date. Save the big kiss for that date. Not hello or just goodbye but sometime during the date.

I'm trying not to fall in love with you myself! (You're a really good writer!) It sounds like it was a perfect first date, even minus the kiss.

My guess is that, since she will be leaving the country soon, she is not moving too fast with this and is trying to keep it light.

If I were she, I would love it if you asked me out again. If you emailed that comment to me, I would be delighted and would chuckle happily, remembering the great time we had on that first date.

I'm trying not to fall in love with you myself! (You're a really good writer!) It sounds like it was a perfect first date, even minus the kiss.

My guess is that, since she will be leaving the country soon, she is not moving too fast with this and is trying to keep it light.

If I were she, I would love it if you asked me out again. If you emailed that comment to me, I would be delighted and would chuckle happily, remembering the great time we had on that first date.

Oh, man, you're saying the kiss comment would've been good? Should've read your reply before I emailed her back, lol!

Anyway, just replied to her. I said this:

"Cool. Well, wanna have another good time at a move in a week or two when I get back from camping? Yes I'm going camping!! Haha. Later. :-*)"

What do you think? And the :-*) = kissy face. Haha.

P.S. I type funny? Haha, falling in love with my writing, are you?

First of all... I would like to thank you for taking the time to write the whole story, explain it, and ask exactly what you want to know. That is becoming very rare around here, and seeing for this one time was great. I would just advise you to wait until at least the third date. I think the first date is way too ambitious, and the second date is just a little soon... but in the second date I would start to make some more light physical contact, but nothing too serious. Then in the third date depending on how she reacts you could kiss her, but definitely not if she doesn't seem ready... I'll be back to read your reply

First of all ... I would like to thank you for taking the time to write the whole story, explain it, and ask exactly what you want to know. That is becoming very rare around here, and seeing for this one time was great. I would just advise you to wait until at least the third date. I think the first date is way too ambitious, and the second date is just a little soon ... but in the second date I would start to make some more light physical contact, but nothing too serious. Then in the third date depending on how she reacts you could kiss her, but definitely not if she doesn't seem ready ... I'll be back to read your reply

Thanks, no problem. I enjoy writing! Hah.

I'll keep everyone posted on this. Right now, just waiting for the reply. Probably in like 1-3 days.

I should ask her next time we meet up when she's going to Spain.

Wow! Be sure you post again. We will all be waiting to hear what happens next! (This might turn into a Harlequin romance novel before we're finished! I'm taking notes.)

Ha ha... yeah... with your writing skills you have to make this into a novel now...