First semester of college I lived in a dorm with a really bad roommate. She was just about the worst person I had ever met in my entire life. Just to give you an idea of how bad she was, the first week of school she made fun of me because I don't have a boyfriend (which I said nothing), and she opened a condom and slapped me in the face with it, which she said was for a joke, but for someone I just met I didn't find it too funny. She was the type who had her boyfriend over every night and I never had any privacy in the room we both had to share, and when he didn't sleep over he'd come over early the next day (like I mean, id go take a shower in the morning and when I go back into my room he'd be standing right in the middle unexpectedly and id have 2 wait 4 both of them to leave so I could get ready for the day). I tried to talk to her about it, but she screamed at me and got pissed, then I tried to ask our RD for help, and both of them told me that I had mental issues. Just to make the story better her and her boyfriend broke up a week later, and she started bringing strange guys into our room, which I also said nothing about. The girl also stole a watch my grandma gave me and a dvd I got from a friend for my birthday. Plus whenever she found out if there was a guy I liked, she would sleep with them. After a couple of months, we actually started to get along and I thought things were better, but then my suitemate told me that after I left for our winter break, my roommate brought a strange guy into our room, had sexwith him unprotected on my bed.. but here's the good part, my suitemate told me that she only did it to get on my nerves!! I couldn't stand it, so I moved out. But even after I moved, my roommate tried to find ways to get in touch with me so that she could bug me! she even went to my new room to find me, so that she could harass me more.
The reason why I told u guys all this was so that you would understand why I was so mad at this point on. It's the summer now and Im at home with my family, and I haven't talked to either my roommate or my suitemate, and I wasn't planning to either. But a few weeks ago they prank called me at 2am, and it left a message on my answering machine. They called me names like stupid, ugly and fat. When I got the message later in the day, I was extremely mad, so I called my suitemate and told her off. Later I talked to my x-roommate online and told her off too. I was really harsh, and at first I didn't feel bad at all, because after all the hell she put me through, I honestly believe that she deserved it. But recently my x-suitemate Im'ed me and said that what I said was really mean and that I should be ashamed of myself. Now that she said that I feel bad, but considering how mean the both of them were to me all year, should I really regret what I did?
I honestly believe in bad karma, so should I apologize for what I said, or consider how mean she was to me and just let it go? Am I really that bad of a person for saying what I said considering how mean she was to me all year and still?

Apologize to her? *ahem* Hell NO!! :mad: What you should do, is go to campus security and file charges of assault (the condom) and stalking. If they balk. Threaten to go to the Police in that town! Your ex roomie has an abusive personality. And if you do not stand up for yourself, then she will tread all over you. I speak from experience on this. Two sorority girls, got their boyfriends fraternity to harass me because I weighed 300 pounds, and wasn't some skinny tiny heinie (sp?) brainless w#*&$. You also need to talk to counciling services at your school, and ask for advice. She is a domestic abuser, and you have to stand up to her!
That or get a baseball bat and deal with the karma later. But my way is easier, and less trouble than attempted murder charges.
Let us know how it goes.

The thing is like, I was reallllllllly harsh.. I made fun of her financial situation. But she made fun of my weight! Which is equally low I believe. And look over that list of stuff she did to me over the past year. I think she had it coming, I was seriously at the end of my rope

the thing is like, I was reallllllllly harsh..I made fun of her financial situation. But she made fun of my weight! which is equally low i believe. and look over that list of stuff she did to me over the past year. i think she had it coming, I was seriously at the end of my rope


Do not apologize!! Again, she did stuff that was illegal.
To quote a friend of mine, "She's got Baaad JuJu!
You I know have wonderful traits. Already you are willing to forgive her. But the sad awful truth is, she won't. And if you do, it will be a sign of weakness, and a big sign that tells her that she can do or say whatever she wants. Stay away from her, before her nastiness swallows you whole, and drags you down. When I was in college, I tried to kill myself because I thought I was worthless. I let others drag me down. Today, I save lives. In fact about and hour and a half ago, I saved a life. And I have a wonderful partner who loves me for me. And not the shipping container I came in. It sounds cliche'd, but you are a wonderful person if you judge your actions on karma. namaste'. You can be better than these people just by being better.

Off my soapbox now.

B.

I'll share with you something my mother taught me growing up.
I've lived by these words my entire life and have taught my children the
Same thing for when dealing with situations like you're in right now.

Saying "I apologize" and saying "I'm sorry" can mean 2 different things.

If you are truly remorseful for something you've done, you say "I'm sorry".

If you recognize you've done wrong, but happen to not be remorseful for your actions, you say "I apologize".

You can apologize, but an apology doesn't necessarily have to mean that you're sorry.
It's just means that you admit and recognize that you were wrong and are apologizing for what you did.

You shouldn't be beating yourself up for standing up for yourself.
These girls pushed you to your limit and they deserved a little kick in the pants.
You made a bold statement that you will no longer tolerate their abuse.

I wouldn't try to rekindle any type of friendship with them because obviously they are not good friends to have.
If you'd like to protect yourself in the Karma department, you could do what you feel to be right and send them a message that says,
"Two wrongs don't make a right, so I apologize for my wrong doings.
I feel that we shouldn't try to rekindle any type of friendship that wasn't there to begin with,
so I'd appreciate it if we just leave it as that and go our separate ways" - The end...

I hope this helps you some. I know what it's like to have peers be down right nasty to you.
For me, it was Middle school that was the pits. Some of the worst years of my life being picked on and made fun of.

I rose above all that though, and would you know the very same people who had made my life miserable as a kid, wanted so much to be a part of my life as a teen and young adult...
When these type of people grow up some, they'll realize that YOU are the type of person they want in their life.
They'll realize that YOU are the type of person they want to be and be surrounded by.

Best wishes

DOn't even need to talk to someone like that any more. Talk to housing office or make her move out either way. Stay strong and firm!
She need to grow up, if she keeps making fun of your weight,( I think it's too mean), then you should consider talking to her parents see if they can do anything. What a rude person she is!

Wow... dude. First of all all: I am so sorry you had to put up with that. I totally know how that feels and it sucks.
To answer your question(although I already know that it's enevitable I'll ramble on with an unessicarry reason as always-haha) I don't think you need to apolize.
Becauuuuse, even good people have limits.
You handled that situation very well as far as being civilized and attempting to maintain peace and limit fighting. I-personaly-would have tried to find a way to give the repect I want, keep a peaceful midset, and stuck to my hippie instict while also standing up for myself and not getting taken advantage of, you know?
Now, if these people are calling you after you have already gotten yourself away from them and shouldn't have to interact anymore and trying to harass you again... That's just BS, to say it bluntly.
I know for some people, like me too, it feels pretty horrible afetr you tell someone off or if you're mean or agresive towards someone else-even when they completely did the same and worse to you. I'm getting a vibe from you that you believe that there are always reasons for a persons behavior and if they act incredible rude, or rude at all, then they still don't exactly deseve the same because you don't know what they've been through or what provoked the behavior. That mindset is a good thing for the most part, I think, but you do need to make sure you know when is too much to allow. You can't be taken advantage of.
Ahh, am I venting too now? I feel like I'm learning and reminding myself more with each word I type though, so if anything, I guess that is a positive. Haha. Well, sorry for how long this turned out to be. I just wanted to make sure I gave an adiquite explanation for my answer because I always do and you seem like a person who would like to hear some actual reasoning.
**You should not apoligize, don't dwell on it or think about it again, and don't feel guilty for it above all. Those girls need to gain some understanding about how it makes others feel and they should reflect on what you said, although mean and thin about how it relates to what they did to you. And that's IF what you said even had an affect on them; some people built up their little heads to be so thick that it takes a lot to get through. Hopefully that did it, but if it did, totally don't feel bad because they needed it.
Gah, so much running my mouth-sooorrrryyy. Hope I heped with reasurence or something though =]
~Harleyyy:eek:

P.S. I've read some of your other questions and answers(found a reply of yours on "What counts as sex" and adored and related to your answer and the way you executed it so I looked at your other questions) and I would kind of like to talk to you some time if that's not too weird-haha. I just never seem to get a good conversation with anyone that has similar veiws or morals and I don't talk to many people, esp. via internet, but I must say I'm intregged with you after reading what you've said/asked and some of your opinions. Soooo, if your free and willing-you know- hit me uppp: [email protected]
Uhm, also, I'm only 15 so I don't know if that's offputting or may limite conversation topics for you, it has for others. Just letting you know.
Kay Buhhh

Yeah an I am sorry will do...

I am sorry I was ever your roommate, I am sorry I had endured your abuse as long as I did, I am sorry I didn't get out of the situation before I did, I am sorry I had so many bad nights sleep, I am sorry you don't have any morals or ethics.