View Full Version : Leaving my husband
rwalters0923
Jul 11, 2007, 09:21 AM
I was wanting to get some advice. I want to leave my husband. He has cheated in the past. Has had no feelings over me, our marriage or our 20 month old baby. I want to move to another state. He is very violent. Has put his hands on me twice the rest of the time he is screaming and cussing and punching holes in the walls. I have kids from a previous marriage. I do not want any of my kids seeing this. He does not work and won't let me leave with my stuff. He "wants" this marriage now, but I have no feelings for him anymore. THe sight of him makes me cringe but I do what I can to keep the peace. Any advice? I left him before and he stated how he didn't want visitation which he doesn't care much for his other kids either. He can't afford an attorney but I am scared that if I leave him and go to another state he will file behind my back.
startover22
Jul 11, 2007, 10:05 AM
You need to go file first, like today and leave. You want what is best for your kids so get your stuff together, if you have someone that can watch the kids, take them there and get down to the court house and file right away!! Then if you have to get yourself into a shelter, they really know what they are doing to get you back on your feet. Move away to a different state if you have to. Your children come first, and no one, NO ONE should put their hands on you! Good luck, I am sending strength and lot's of hugs your way. I know you can do this, women do it every day in worse positions than you. I have you in my thoughts and hope the best for you and the kids.
soraya
Jul 15, 2007, 06:07 PM
First, file ASAP, then get out!!
I know it is difficult, I did it. I was married for 17 years (first 4 were great) and I finally snaped. I got in my car and took off. I left anything that did not fit in the car and drove. I had no suport from family and went to stay in someone's basement. For 2 years, I had no fixed address. I have lived in 6 different places in that time.
Please, know that you are stronger than you think you are, that you CAN do it. Look at the alternative...
I send you lots of encouraging hugs to make it easier for you to get on your way.
YOU CAN DO IT!!
Delilah P
Jul 15, 2007, 06:23 PM
I agree with startover22 and soroya. You need to let it be known through the police, courts or a shelter what your husband has done in the past, to protect yourself. If he is violent, then you probably need to go to a shelter immediately. He may become even more violent once he hears you are leaving him. Please be careful. Many positive thoughts being sent your way. Good luck to you.
wileydx
Jul 15, 2007, 06:34 PM
I recently left my husband9 One month ago). He sounds a lot like yours. I tried to keep the peace for twelve years. I finally walked away with nothing. Now he wants to change, but they never do. My only regret is that I did not do it sooner. You don't need a lawyer to get a divorce. Even if he does file behind your back until you agree to what is in the papers and they are signed by you and a judge you can get what you want and deserve.
For your health and the health of your children, do not stay in an abusive relationship. Verbal is just as bad if not worse than physical. I have dealt with both. Good Luck
fightn_tha_goodfight
Jul 15, 2007, 09:40 PM
Petition for a restraining order in your filing for divorce ASAP