Well, the story is long, but I would like to tell you only this. I was with this girl in a 2 year relationship in LDR (kind of LDR, 2 hours away, talking everyday, meet every weekend). I met her in July 2005, and I broke up with her in May 2007. The reason of the breakup was because she got envolved emotionally with her ex, and I found out, and I split. But things didn't ended like I thought. I mean, I couldn't believe everything was finished, and I tried to be in contact. First time she told me she doesn't think so. Then I asked her for coffe, she told me she needs time, and again and again. Then 2 weeks after the breakup I asked her what she means with need time? She told me "everything was interrupted to badly, i could ever imagine. What remains are memories corrupted by the ugly latest events" (I admit I made some mistakes after the breakup). Well, I thought I should better move on, cause for now I don't know what I really want. In the mean time, she sent me a message before 2 days telling me that "I dont know if i should be saying you this, but I've seen u these days in my dreams, tormenting me. Maybe because its july, i dont know". I told her that maybe she needs to speak to me and let those fears disappear, because we had some unressolved issues. She didn't reacted. Then I told her that "i dont like superficiality, you thought a lot before sending me this message. if you want to speak, lets talk." She told me "i just wrote some thoughts, thats it. There is no need to make it such a big deal. I didnt ask any answer in return, just describing some dreams. Goodnight!". Today I told her "i dont understand why it was so immportant to tell me about your dreams, knowing the fact, that im going to move on. Dont put me in a game where you dont like to play". After that I received this message "hey, i didnt beg you for not moving on, or asked anything from you, i just told you some dreams and your reaction is up to you. Im not playing, i never did.".

I couldn't resist to the temptation, and I asked her again for a coffe and I'm waiting for her message (maybe none, knowing the fact that the breakup was pretty hard but not violent, and now we both have a little doubt which way will the things take if we meet up), knowing the fact that maybe she feels a little vulnerable. To make things a little easy for her, I promised her that we will not talk about any uncomfort disscusion.
Now, I really don't know what she means, or she is too stupid (in fact she is very intelligent, and we are both adults, I'm 27, she is 26) and doesn't think how I should react after the message about the dreams, knowing the fact how I felt all these 2 months about her, since the breakup, or she is just too smart, and she wants me to ask her out.

What do you think, cause this seems a little enigmatic to me. I have to say that yeah, I want her back, and if there could be any way to make this work, I could do it, but I don't know how. I don't know if she is still going out with that man, but I guess they are not having such a happy time. I don't want to ask her, because it may seem a little jealosy behaviour of mine, and I'm afraid it will make things worse. Im expecting at least to come to the terms of speaking. Don't ask me to move on, cause I'm feeling much better (its being 2 months since the breakup, and feelings are much healed).Its just the mystery that keeps my mind bussy, but not my feelings.
Do you think she is willing to come to the conversation (terms of speaking), but she is afraid I still have the guards up? What do you think if I keep playing her game, I mean, begin some positive and friendly kind of conversations, jokes, or things like that? There is nothing serious, far away from emotion talks, just like casual, and like a talk between friends? This way the conversation will begin, maybe not right in time, but at least, she will notice that I'm being friendly. After that, if the things go on their way, I come to the point of asking her and making clear what I think about the tema "come back". What do you say ?

It would be very helpful, if you could give me any opinion about this story.

Why are you giving her permission to see other guys while dating you? While you are not out right saying that, you actions do. And look at her now. She's got you. She's got you asking for her back, got you waiting for her, and got you believing her stories. You made the right decision the first time. Let her go and find someone that can be loyal.

If you left once, instead of talking and working it out, why should she take a chance that you won't do it again?? You have personal issues that if you don't correct them they will pop up again. Is it reasonable for her to give you another chance to do this to her again?? Not if she has any sense.

Why are you giving her permission to see other guys while dating you? While you are not out right saying that, you actions do. And look at her now. She's got you. She's got you asking for her back, got you waiting for her, and got you believing her stories. You made the right decision the first time. Let her go and find someone that can be loyal.


For sure I'm not giving her the permission to see other guys while she is dating me! And I'm not going right now to ask her out, without healing my trust first. If she wants me back, she has to fight for it. I was asking if is this what she has in her mind, not how to move on or if I made good or bad for leaving. Thanks anyway, but this is something that depends on me. The only reason I made the post is if she is making a way to come to the terms of speaking.

If you left once, instead of talking and working it out, why should she take a chance that you wont do it again???? You have personal issues that if you don't correct them they will pop up again. Is it reasonable for her to give you another chance to do this to her again??? Not if she has any sense.


We couldn't talk or work it out, cause I was too turbulent, and I didn't even let her speak. I used to break up with her, and now it sounds like she regreted on it. Don't you think so? Now I'm willing to correct those personal issues, I mean I have the force for not looking back in the past, and be jealous or so, but take it as an experience, and see where we failt on the first round.

Don't you understand? You are creating all of these scenarios. You are inventing a world that you want. And if you do get a yes, possibly cause she is bored at the time, you will confuse yourself even more. She makes it pretty obvious in the responses that she wants nothing. You better believe it. She is not even trying to keep you on a string. You are putting yourself on a string that you wish were there but is not. This shows how unstable you are at the time. I mean, don't get me wrong. She was getting involved emotionally with her ex and by all means, don't ever feel guilty for leaving. You did the absolute right thing. Now let her be on her own, and you find happiness elsewhere. You're next girl may not be long distance and it may be better. As far as we both can tell, there is room for lots of possibilities - positive ones. So being that this is the case, why settle for negative possibilities and why continue hurting yourself. First she hurt your feelings by going to an ex and now you are creating your own situations which will also hurt you in the end due to confusion. Enough torturing yourself. I wish you the best. Move on without her. You will be happier in the long run. Take care!