Wow I shouldn't even be feeling pain like this, I am so use to it! Anyway it all started 15 months ago and like a lot of heart ache and problems it started with a girl. We hooked up at a bar but I knew her before hand. She use to be with a guy I knew back in high school and since I line in such a small town.. I ran into her again. Anyway to make a long story short.. I fell in love with her badly! I would have forfeit my life for her. We had a very awesome relationship. We went places I took her on vacations with me. We were always doing things and just living life and having a great time doing so. The thing is she would lie to me over and over, she would like about little things like not having any money to pay bills (We lived together) and lying about bigger things like the reason she didn't have money is because she lent it to her brother. And there was a lot more lies as time went on. An the trust I had for her seemed to fade away. We started to go in debt and she was pulling me in debt badly. So I told her we need to take a break and you need to think about things, So she was going to move into her Parents and I got me a studio apartment for really cheap. We were still seeing each other even though it felt like we were miles away from each other when we were in the same room. It went on like that for about 2 weeks. Then one day she calls me over saying she miss's me and she loves me and wants to see me. So I went over to her house and when I walked up to the door another guy walks out wearing nothing buy his underwear. He see's me and he must of knew who I was because he jumped off the porch and ran off into the sunset! Then she walks out wearing a Bra and some sweat shorts and she tells me "I just wanted to break your heart like you did to me." At that point I felt so weak my melted and shattered and fell down into my shoes. I had to sit down right then and there on the porch because my legs couldn't hold me up (And I am a skinny guy). And now that I know its over and there is no way I can ever go back to her and for it to be the same between us. I meen she has 2 kids with 2 different guys I should have known from that alone! That was two major red flags! But love is love no matter the situation. And now I am all alone in my little apartment with my best friend Jack Daniells. Its been 3 weeks since that all went down and I can't stop thinking about her F***ing other men and how easy it was for her to just drop all that we had and how good I took care of her and her boys. I meen she is driving a brand new SUV thanks to me and I have nothing. I don't even have a heart it feels like. I have talked to a lot of people they all just seem to say the same things, You will find better, It just takes time, She obviously wasn't the one for you, Forget that b*** and go hook up with someone else. An when I go downtown to try and meet someone else I just can't stop thinking about her and I am in no mood to be around anyone. I don't want to get drunk but then I don't want to be sober. I have to get wasted just to fall asleep. Then while I am at my desk at work I can feel nothing but an empty void in my chest I feel like my heart will never be able to recover from what she has done to me. I just don't want to be alone anymore. I want to feel the love I once felt. I want to be able to wake up in the morning and when I look in the mirror I am able to smile. How long is it going to take? What else can I do to get over her and to be happy again? Is going and hooking up with someone else a good idea? Will someone please help me! I beg you! :( :( :(

I wish I could tell you how long it will take. I just hope you can move past this soon. I am having much trouble too. Trying my best to stay away from the alcohol, but messed up last night. You're not alone brother.

First off, Jack Daniels is not your friend, as alcohol is a deppressant. The fact that you broke this up because of her lies and she needs to think shows you wanted out, and the fact she took revenge should have shown you that you where right to break up, only problem is you kept in touch, and paid the price of not walking away cleanly. Stop crying with Jack and pull yourself together, and move on like you should have in the first place. The same goes for Jack, kick him to the curb, and start fresh with a life that makes you happy and leave Jack and the girl alone. Say good riddance to them both. Seek out Alcoholic Anonymous if you must, and the rest is up to you, so get off the pity pot and get busy.

You don't need a like that... she was using you... the best revenge is having her fell like you could give a . If she knows you are unhappy... she is winning. Go out... force yourself to have a good time... in time it will get easier... if you run into her... act like nothing happened and you could care less... if you show her that you are unaffected by it... she will trip out.

I know how you feel, I went through it too. The way I got through it was with God. Put God in your life, trust me you won't be the same again. Put God in place of Jack and this girl. It will be hard at first but it gets easier as time goes on. Pick up a Bible and read it. Especially Psalms there are a lot of comforting things in Psalms it helps me to get through things like depression and the hurts. It really does help I promise you, you won't be sorry. Where do you live? I live in a small town too and it is so hard to find guys who are good. I run into a lot of jerks who all they want is sex and it does get quit frustrating at times but you get through the lonliness, I know it's not easy but there are others out there who are hurting just like you.

I know how you feel, I went through it too. The way I got through it was with God. Put God in your life, trust me you won't be the same again. Put God in place of Jack and this girl. It will be hard at first but it gets easier as time goes on. Pick up a Bible and read it. Especially Psalms there are a lot of comforting things in Psalms it helps me to get through things like depression and the hurts. It really does help I promise you, you won't be sorry. Where do you live? I live in a small town too and it is so hard to find guys who are good. I run into a lot of jerks who all they want is sex and it does get quit frustrating at times but you get through the lonliness, I know it's not easy but there are others out there who are hurting just like you.




I live in a small town in Northern Arizona, And I have stopped the drinking. I am doing a lot better. I just miss her so much I can't stop thinking about her every day. And what hurts me the most is that she is already with someone else making new memories and forgetting about the ones we shared. I was so easily replaceable it semms. I don't even have the courage to go out there and meet someone else. All my friends have been trying to help me but it does no good. So I been using all my spare time up by playing my guitar and going to the gym and just listening to music while I work out for 3-4 hours. I still feel very empty, like there is a void in my chest and no matter what I do it keeps feeling more and more empty. I know its just going to take time. Its just when you feel this way the time doesn't seem to go by fast enough. Thank you all for the comforting answers and advice.

Don't get down, just reclaim your freedom, and stay positive by doing positive things. Its hotter in AZ than in TX, and its hot a hell here, so I can't recommend what you guys do for outdoor fun, so stay cool and know it gets better. Life not the weather.

Don't get down, just reclaim your freedom, and stay positive by doing positive things. Its hotter in AZ than in TX, and its hot a hell here, so I can't recommend what you guys do for outdoor fun, so stay cool and know it gets better. Life not the weather.


Fun in my town consists of Drugs and Alcohol, The two things I am never going to touch again. So I am going out there with a positive attitude and trying to meet new people and trying new things, I have bought over 6 tickets for 6 different concerts that are coming up. Ya know stuff like that. I am trying, And I tell myself daily don't let her get you this way! Don't let her get you down. Don't let her!

I've done a lot of volunteer work at churches and hospitals and have enjoyed that immensely.

Things just keep getting better... Last night my friends dragged me to the local pool haul to play some pool and to get me out of the house. And I had a very weird feeling about going and as soon as I walk in the place my Ex is there with her new man and as soon as she see's me she kind of smiles at me then walks over to her new man and just gives him a huge kiss. My heart just started to beat out of control and I saw red. My friends looked at me and said "Dude we are soo sorry, maybe you should leave" So I sat there for like 10 min and finally I couldn't stop myself from thinking about beating his but I know its not his fault its all her. So I simply just left and went back home and couldn't sleep for the whole night. Life is great!

Wrong move. Never show her you still love her because then will try to tie you to a string in case things don't work out with her new man. You're just giving her this satisfaction. If she's going to play mind games like this just spit on the floor when you see her. You HAVE to move on and accepting this is not hard but it will make your life better.

::EDIT:: I meant to say accepting this may be hard, not "not hard"

Papa I am sorry you are going through this. Your ex sounds like a real b****. I know how it feels being used. I think I know what you are going through. I went through it before too. You are feeling the following: " I was a step up from her, then why did she do this to me", "She should of felt lucky to be with someone like me since I have my s*** together and she does not", "How could she just throw my love away like that when I supported her financially"? You know deep in your heart and soal that she is not the one for you. The reason why you are depressed is because she purposely hurt you. I know that hurts because you never expected her to act that way after you did so much for her. Well don't worry because she was no good and GOD has someone better for you. You need to get yourself together. Its good that you are working out, as it will help. However, if you keep drinking your sorrows away, life will become worse as alcohol is a depressant. That's probably part of the reason why when you workout you don't feel a rush of energy and happyiness, but instead you feel drained and more depressed. You have to stop drinking. I can promise you that she will get hers. Good things happen to good people (like you) and bad thing happen to bad people. Please don't get down on yourself. Be glad she's out of your life. It was a horrible way for her to do things, but at least you know her character now instead of marrying her and ending up broke and divorced. I guarantee she will get what she diserves. You might not see it first hand but I'm sure you will hear about it (since you live in such a small town news will get back to you). In the meanwhile hooking up with other girls will not help but only make you feel more empty. If you can, take a couple of days off work and go somewhere for an extended long weekend. I know that helped me a lot. Get out of your environment and go to a different state. Go do things you always wanted to do. I hope you feel better and please don't drink.

Papa I am sorry you are going through this. Your ex sounds like a real b****. I know how it feels being used. I think I know what you are going through. I went through it before too. You are feeling the following: " I was a step up from her, then why did she do this to me", "She should of felt lucky to be with someone like me since I have my s*** together and she does not", "How could she just throw my love away like that when I supported her financially"? You know deep in your heart and soal that she is not the one for you. The reason why you are depressed is because she purposely hurt you. I know that hurts because you never expected her to act that way after you did so much for her. Well dont worry because she was no good and GOD has someone better for you. You need to get your self together. Its good that you are working out, as it will help. However, if you keep drinking your sorrows away, life will become worse as alcohol is a depressant. Thats probably part of the reason why when you workout you dont feel a rush of energy and happyiness, but instead you feel drained and more depressed. You have to stop drinking. I can promise you that she will get hers. Good things happen to good people (like you) and bad thing happen to bad people. Please dont get down on yourself. Be glad shes out of yoru life. It was a horrible way for her to do things, but atleast you know her character now instead of marrying her and ending up broke and divorced. I guarantee she will get what she diserves. You might not see it first hand but im sure you will hear about it (since you live in such a small town news will get back to you). In the meanwhile hooking up with other girls will not help but only make you feel more empty. If you can, take a couple of days off work and go somewhere for an extended long weekend. I know that helped me alot. Get out of your enviroment and go to a different state. Go do things you always wanted to do. I hope you feel better and please dont drink.



I am planning a little vacation back to where I grew up in California. I am just waiting for my mustang to be running. Its in the shop atm getting a brand new V8 5.0 I can't wait for that to be done. I am hoping driving down the long stretch of open road will help me release her from my memories and from my heart.

I think the vacation will be good for you. As oracle said, a breakup is hard no matter how toxic the relationship was. You are too good for her and you will get through this. Good luck and God Bless...

Just posting to say I put down the bottle and I have enrolled myself into college to keep myself busy. Also joined the gym and been investing a lot of spare time and money turning my mustang into a hotrod. Things are going a lot better now. An I have to thank all of you for the support and the different perspective on the situation. It really did help me. Someday soon I know I won't miss her as much but for now I am going to live. And I am going to live every day with a smile on my face and do my best to not let another person get me down the way she has. Ty all!!

Way to go, best of luck!

PapaG,

I am so happy to hear that you are doing better and not drinking anymore. Did you go on your trip? Getting away always helps. I am going to visit my family in August for a week and I know that will help me a lot. School will also keep you busy and give you productive reinforcements. Your feelings about missing her will go away as long as you do not talk to her or let her back into your life. She was leading a destrictive path and tried to take you down with her. Im glad you are back to feeling more like yourself!!

Weeeeelll. That is pretty messed up. If she was willing to put you through all of that and do what she did then sorry buddy. She was just something else. You know, if she can do that to you then why would you want to be with her? Getting with someone else may or may not make things better. But if you want to be happy once again you have to be happy woth yourself. And wheny our happy then you can move one. Honestly you should wait till you get over her before you get with anyone else because you'll end up hurting that person regardless. Just keep yourself busy with work or something. Go hang out with friends. Destract yourself and just pay attention to your life. Its going to be hard but you know, if you want to get over her you got to do what you got to do.

Do you really want to be with someone who treats you like that? Keep your dignity and walk. Show her how well you're doing without you. (Even if it hurts like Hell.) People always want what they can't have. Show her you're not interested and she suddenly will be!

Keep your head up. You deserve better. Good Luck.

You're one in a million men to feel something like this. It's usually girls who chatter things this way, about love's lost and all. What can I say, get over it, and well, move on. She's definitely not worth it. :) Would you want to meet my sister? :)

things do get easier my x used 2 lie to me all the time he wouldn't let me out he basically controlled me and he was always lyin 2 try and get out of the truth!! What you have to do is move on I know its hard it's the hardest thing you could ever do you just want that love back and you think that no matter what you will never find that love again but its not true.. it takes time that I agree on but its not the end of the world. Your not with her for a very good reason don't let her get you down and don't turn to drink because that's what my ex did when we broke up whilst I got on with my lyf the thing I can suggest you doing is going to talk to someone it helpd me!! It feels lyk you lost apart of you but it does get better

Listen up, Dump the dame, get a life, and get on with it. Get another babe and make the first one jealous. Men aren't supposed to have wussie emotions about a dang F E M A L E. What's the matter with you? Go get a couple of your buddies and buy some beer and go bowling for a couple weekends. And don't send her flowers! Unless it's Dead Roses. Or stems. When you going to figure out, if she is going to treat you like this, you don't need her?

Dammit, better yet, buy a round trip ticket to Manila, and go hang out in Angeles City for a couple weeks.

I guarantee you will return a changed man. Maybe even change into a REAL man. Some.

Hey hope your keeping your chin up.
You say you guys had debtb problems and you told her to go and take a break. Them... I would think if you were in a relationship and with 2 kids, that you should have pulled together and not asked her to leave. She prob thought it was over.
Now to be fair she sounds like a messed up girl, who decided to get back at you and hurt you by jumping into bed with another man.
U are bettert off without her, think twice next time you move in with an girl. And also it takes time to know someone. And love means loving them for their good points and bad points. Next time you are in love, don't ask her to leave when you hit the bad points. That is when you pull together and try to see if you can help them, and will they help themselves.
Lastly drinking won't help. I would advise you to pull your life together. Work hard at your job. Don't fall apart, grown from this. One day you will be the one with a nice girl on your arm, don't seek revenge. You will end up bitter that way.like hera.

Fornication is sin. The penalty is death. You should be glad that your out, Don't feel jealous because every act of fornication just takes the lady and her unlucky partner further down the road that ends in eternal punishment in a lake of fire. If you love her just pray that she wakes up before its to late. As for yourself don't go there again Get right with God confess your sins to Him and repent. Once you have done this the One who created you will build you up , a new life. Pain can be a good thing sometimes it warns what you are doing is wrong!

Be strong man , I wish you never met that ***** turning your life upside down , be who you are man , and don't give her attention , love is blind , but it took you to that ***** who doesn't desereve to live, she is animal , you are better then her , and stronger too , don't be weak man , be strong , trust me she will end up suffring bad , her life will never ever going to take her happines she is looking for , by giving to many guys blow job , **** her , pull yoursel together and stay with your friends , I know all people will say to you easly move and stuff like that , but I would say burn all her memories , next time if you see her just smile and walk away , that all , you don't need nothing from her , just think about that you have dated a porn star ***** , be proud of yourself , and make yourself bussy , listen to eminem songs , it will help you, I'm going through also some bad love relationship I had , so man pullyourself together , don't let her make you weak, and I wish you the best , I wish I can talk to you easly face to face all the time , but this at least I can do , and I'm here for you any time you need man , you got so many friends in outside and this website too , so you are not alone man , you are not alone , stay away from love songs man. And refresh yourself no matter what it takes