My car was parked and she practically tore my fender off and won't talk to her insurance company. They are refusing to do anything until "she calls" to discuss it with them. Is this legal?

You should have called the police and had a report made. You could now find yourself in a he said she said if there are no other witnesses. Call your insurance company and let them go after her insurance. It will not be held againist you with most companies.