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View Full Version : My husband adopting my daughter after 5 1/2yrs


batadams2004
Jun 21, 2007, 04:47 AM
Hello Everyone! Please take it easy on me since this is my first time doing this. I have a questions about adoption in California. On my daugther's birth certificate I have "unknown as the father" I don't know who it was because I blackout at a friends house. I don't know what possible person it could have been. My current husband and I have a baby on the way and he would like to adopt my daughter. I don't know if it will be easy for us to do this or hard. Can anyone assist me on this matter? I heard that it will be a lot of money to do this.

CCDANT
Jun 21, 2007, 07:44 AM
Hello Everyone! Please take it easy on me since this is my first time doing this. I have a questions about adoption in California. On my daugther's birth certificate I have "unknown as the father" I don't know who it was because I blackout at a friends house. I don't know what possible person it could of been. My current husband and I have a baby on the way and he would like to adopt my daughter. I don't know if it will be easy for us to do this or hard. Can anyone assist me on this matter? I heard that it will be a lot of money to do this.
I had a similar but different situation... My son's father knew about him... he pretty much told me that he didn't want anything to do with him, so I didn't have to worry about him attesting it... anyway, my son's birth certificate had father unknown as well... so my husband just signed an affidavit at vital statistics declaring himself the father, we had my son's last name changed because he was only 2 years old and all we had to pay was 12.50 for an amended birth certificate... oh and yes is it around 1700.00 to adopt. I feel wonderful about that decision because my son doesn't have to feel as if he isn't a part of the family (b/c we have 2 other children) by having a different last name and he has a father.
We told vital statistics we weren't married when he was born and that is why he didn't have his fathers last name.

ScottGem
Jun 21, 2007, 07:52 AM
You need to get a family law atty that will handle the adoption. Given the circumstances it should be pretty straightforward.

I'm wondering if you filed a rape report though. The state MIGHT require an investigation.

Paragraphein
Jun 21, 2007, 08:32 PM
I had a similar but different situation....My son's father knew about him...he pretty much told me that he didn't want anything to do with him, so I didn't have to worry about him attesting it...anyway, my son's birth certificate had father unknown as well...so my husband just signed an affidavit at vital statistics declaring himself the father, we had my son's last name changed because he was only 2 years old and all we had to pay was 12.50 for an amended birth certificate...oh and yes is it around 1700.00 to adopt. I feel wonderful about that decision b/c my son doesn't have to feel as if he isn't a part of the family (b/c we have 2 other children) by having a different last name and he has a father.
We told vital statistics we weren't married when he was born and that is why he didn't have his fathers last name.

Wait... so, you guys lied?

And never bothered to re-check with the father and find out if maybe he's had a change of heart?

Are you going to tell your son that he was adopted, or lie to him, too?

ScottGem
Jun 22, 2007, 05:44 AM
My son's father ... pretty much told me that he didn't want anything to do with him, ...so my husband just signed an affidavit at vital statistics declaring himself the father,

I feel wonderful about that decision b/c my son doesn't have to feel as if he isn't a part of the family (b/c we have 2 other children) by having a different last name and he has a father.
We told vital statistics we weren't married when he was born and that is why he didn't have his fathers last name.

I'm glad you "feel wonderful" about having committed a crime. By falsifying an official document you have broken the law. There were ways you could have accomplished the same thing without breaking the law.

Does your son know the truth? What happens when he finds out? There is a good chance he will, family members must know or maybe a blood test will cause the truth to come out.

Being part of a family is about how you are treated not what your name is. Having a real father is about having someone in your life caring for you and being there for you, not biology.

Fr_Chuck
Jun 22, 2007, 07:51 AM
Yes, Please, please don't do what ddcant said, I really hope they are lying and did not do fraud.

The procedure for them would have been to notify the real bio father and get their permission, if they could not locate him, they post a public notice and then appear in court and have a legal adoption made.

Since in their case a simple DNA test would prove this was a lie and actually in my opinon make the entire legal paper work void, if this child went to try to collect a larger amount of money latter if the father fied, it is very possible the probate court could declare them not the legal child.

They really need to go back and get this done legally.


**** in your case, yes I hope you did file a rape charge, but the court may well want to see about checking the men known to be at the party and try to find the bio father before allowing the adoption, but if not known and can not be found there are legal ways to do it.
Your first stop will be an attorney who does adoptions.