View Full Version : I need to talk
snapdragon
Jun 18, 2007, 07:16 PM
I would really like to talk to soemone right now, I can't stop crying. I'll talk about your kids, or your relationship anything, I just need to talk to somebody I'm not suicidal a am just really sad right now
goingoofy2
Jun 18, 2007, 07:21 PM
i would really like to talk to soemone right now, i can't stop crying. I'll talk about your kids, or your relationship anything, i just need to talk to somebody I'm not suicidal a am just really sad right now
Wutz wrong dear..
snapdragon
Jun 18, 2007, 07:25 PM
I don't really know, I do this to myself every once in a while. I feel like everything is a mess, and I am five years old. I want to go crawl into a corner and cry. I'm very pessimistic, closed minded and I make myself miserable. I put myself down all the time, and I tell myself that most things are my fault. I used to write in a journal, but, that doesn't seem to help any. I just need somebody who understands what I'm going through to talk to. I need a friend
snapdragon
Jun 18, 2007, 07:26 PM
I want to stop crying
Wondergirl
Jun 18, 2007, 07:32 PM
I can only imagine this is the worst way a person can feel! I'm guessing that, when this feeling hits you, you don't give a hoot about anything--would just like for it all to go away. Have you seen a doctor about these feelings of depression? If so, what did he/she say? If not, what might be holding you back?
snapdragon
Jun 18, 2007, 07:38 PM
I can't really get myself to go out. I don't have insurance, and I sometimes feel such strong anxiety at the thought of going outside alone. I hate leaving the apartment, I'm scared to and I don't know why
Wondergirl
Jun 18, 2007, 07:40 PM
You don't go out at all? Does this change from day to day or week to week?
When were you outside the apartment most recently?
snapdragon
Jun 18, 2007, 07:53 PM
I guess, the longest I've ever stayed in the apartment was three days straight. I go out for the mail, and if my boyfriend drags me out to do something, because he knows what's going on with me. So he tries to help. He just doesn't understand it. Most recently I was out yesterday. My family was here for the weekend. But, I haven't been outside today. Itjust depends on the week and my state of mind.
goingoofy2
Jun 18, 2007, 08:02 PM
Snappy... can u make a list? A list of likes and dislikes? It is sometimes easier when things are on paper/computer. Then take that list and make it a point to work on each one be it negative or positive. The positive you do after you have taken a deep breath and decided you are going to be happy today... the negative are the ones you need to look at and understand why they are on that side... and how you can transfer them to the positive side. I've done it, I've had friends do it and it often seems to work.
Another thing would be to take a woman's one-a-day vitamin... they are the best thing on the market for perking your spirits up as well as being nutritional good for you... eating healthy makes for a healthy mind as well.
I've dealt with depression all my life, it's only been in the last 10 years that I've felt my best... I've had to work at it but I'll tell you what an amazing feeling. Nobody out there can make you feel good, only you can make you feel good, then you can make those around you feel good too.
Take a deep breath and smile real big my friend... it's a great start and it'll make you feel better!
snapdragon
Jun 18, 2007, 08:14 PM
I really appreciate you guys talking to me, no matter how much I think about it it just doesn't make sense to me. Why am I like this? Why do I do this to myself? Why does everything seem so pointless and uninteresting? Why are people so happy? Can't they see what I see? I want to throw things all the time, I want to cry and hit the people I love. Everything and everyone is meaningless. I can sit and think about nothing all day. My mind fills with dark clouds when I get into arguments with my boyfriend and it's as though I get lost and can't form words or feelings. I'm so frustrated, and I feel like I'm one of those people whose posts you read and you try to help a few times, but find it hopeless and give up. I'm sorry if you find all of this pointless, I'll understand.
goingoofy2
Jun 18, 2007, 08:41 PM
Snap, I was you... 10 years ago... however it takes you to make a difference. When everything around you seems like it's falling apart then YOU have to make a difference. I was prescribed all those crazy meds the docs thought would help, but then I decided they only made me madder. I would scream at my kids my partner, people driving, (yep road rage) it really got out of control. I then decided I needed to do something different and from that point on I was beginning to take control of my [erratic] actions. I may be filing for divorce soon, however it hasn't affected me like break ups used to years ago, I'm in control of my feeling now and no man or woman will take that away. I feel for you my dear, I really do. I never wished anyone went through what I went through, I had to fight some nasty demons and boy was it a tough road... do I still get angry or upset, sure do, just on a different level. Sometimes loneliness can eat you alive, sometimes nasty comments can really upset you, and sometimes just getting up for work makes you angry. Again, try looking at the positive of any one of your problems and work from there... and never, never depend on anyone person for YOUR happiness.
snapdragon
Jun 18, 2007, 08:59 PM
Thank you so much, I can't believe how hard it is to be happy sometimes. Sometimes, I just want to talk about it until my mouth dries out. I just want to be heard and cared for. That's what's so strange. Normally my boyfriend gets angry with me because I don't talk enough. I don't share my feelings and tell him when and why I'm angry. I keep everything in. all my feelings and thoughts, all my emotions and tears until I pop. Then I desperately want a friend, I hate putting everything on my boyfriend all of the time. I can't believe I still have tears to cry, and I don't think he can either. It's means so much to me that you would take the time to listen and give me such heartfelt answers and help. Sometimes all I need is to feel like I have a friend.
Wondergirl
Jun 18, 2007, 09:05 PM
Do this for yourself. Think of one thing you want to accomplish tomorrow. Do you want to go outdoors for a walk or to shop or to the library? Do you want to rearrange a kitchen cabinet? What one effort you make would give you a feeling of accomplishment? Notice I said one--not a list and not a lot and not turning your life around. Just one thing, one effort.
Now, tell me what that effort is, what you can do tomorrow that will make you feel good, feel proud of yourself.
snapdragon
Jun 18, 2007, 09:10 PM
I try to do this sometimes. I make excuses a lot. I always find a way to get out of the thing that I plan for myself. I can always talk myself out of doing something. But, lucky for me, my boyfriend has joined a pool league that meets on Tuesday nights and I try as hard as I can to force myself to go. So my one thing is to get out of the house and accompany my boyfriend tomorrow. And I'll do you one better. I will aim to talk to two people. I only wish you knew how hard all of this sounds in my head. Thank you!!
LuvMyMaltipoo
Jun 18, 2007, 09:16 PM
I would love to talk, but not about you... lets talk about you! How old are you? And what's the number one thing that makes you sad/mad?
Wondergirl
Jun 18, 2007, 09:16 PM
pool league that meets on Tuesday nights...accompany my boyfriend tomorrow. and i'll do you one better. I will aim to talk to two people.
Ok, you're on! YYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!
I will hope for a full report maybe late tomorrow evening or certainly by Wednesday. I will want to know what was easiest and what was hardest. (Don't tell me what you think those will be. Tell me after you do this.) Tell me too what part you were proudest of, what you did for yourself that made you feel terrific.
I will be waiting for news.
rockerchick_682
Jun 18, 2007, 10:05 PM
I had a pretty bad break-up a while ago, and I felt the same way you do, I couldn't break myself out of being depressed, even though there was no real reason I should have been. I talked to a therapist and she told me I have "reactional depression" and gave me Lexapro and now I feel stable. Therapists are amazing
Marily
Jun 19, 2007, 05:06 AM
You're in luck :) I love meeting people, but I love to listen to them even more and try to assist where I can. You can send me a private message if you want.
goingoofy2
Jun 19, 2007, 05:35 AM
Morning Snap... hope you have a great day today... breath in through the nose and out through the mouth... smile!! Work on all your negatives in your life while still doing all the positives that make you happy. Some days are tougher than others, however be strong and know somewhere down the road YoU ArE going to be happy!
snapdragon
Jun 19, 2007, 11:30 AM
Morning Snap ...hope you have a great day today ...breath in through the nose and out through the mouth ...smile!!! Work on all your negatives in your life while still doing all the positives that make you happy. Some days are tougher than others, however be strong and know somewhere down the road YoU ArE going to be happy!!
I can't tell you happy this makes me! Thank you!! :D
goingoofy2
Jun 19, 2007, 11:34 AM
Now thatz a great start!!
Have a super day!!
s2tp
Jun 19, 2007, 11:50 AM
Hey Snap,
I was smiling during part of this thread because you were saying some of the same things that I do-
"sometimes, i just want to talk about it until my mouth dries out. I just want to be heard and cared for. that's what's so strange. normally my boyfriend gets angry with me because i don't talk enough. I don't share my feelings and tell him when and why i'm angry. I keep everything in. all my feelings and thoughts, all my emotions and tears until i pop. then i desperately want a friend, I hate putting everything on my boyfriend all of the time"
I go through this a lot- and I get depressed like you explained in your main question. I normally come out of it pretty quick, but when I am in it I just want to curl up and disappear. I have learned how to help myself from getting into these modes though- and my trick is music. I have music that I have had good memories with and I try to listen to them when I feel like I am slipping into a depression. It doesn't always perk me up, but it definitely gets me thinking more positive and lessens the sadness. A good cry always helps too- haha. If I have been having an overall bad week I will let everything pile into one big pity cry and then I start to work my way out of it- letting each thing sink in but then let it go. Sometimes writing in my diary helps,but sometimes I just don't feel like writing or talking so I close my eyes and just remind myself things Always get better and there are more happy days to come.
I hope you are feeling better by now. If you still need someone to talk to I will be around for many more hours... night shift at work (I am overseas)
notabluebird
Jun 19, 2007, 11:58 AM
See if there is a free clinic around you to get checked out. I have gone through a terrible divorce (the ex got everything), behind in bills, wages garnished, my son is in Iraq and living in a women's shelter. I have had times when I feel like you have described. I went to one and a lot of my emotional heartache was because of the stress I was under. The body just shuts down. I do a lot of herbs and teas to try to keep me balanced. It helps most times.
snapdragon
Jun 20, 2007, 06:05 PM
Hey guys, thanks for all of your help and support. I went to the pool hall last night and it went OK. I didn't have conversations with people, but I laughed with a few people and tried (if that counts for anything). Unfortunately I'm still having a bad week. You know it's hard for me to say that I'm depressed, because I'm not suicidal and this only happens every other month or so and for about a week. But, when I'm in that week I just can't see what's so good about life. Everything just seems so off, so wrong and so uninteresting. I just want somebody to hug me for a whole week and tell me I'm beautiful, and worthy of all the good things. I want someone to tell me what's going on in my head I want to know if I just get really down sometimes, if I'm depressed or just crazy. What happened? Why do I feel this way? Why does everything seem so wrong? I just want a hug, I don't want you to understand me, to try to understand me, to pity me or feel sorry for me. I just want a big hug. I want to thank you guys again for all of your help!
snapdragon
Jun 20, 2007, 06:22 PM
I would love to talk, but not about you... lets talk about you! How old are you? And whats the number one thing that makes you sad/mad?
I am 23. The number one thing that makes me sad and mad is that I have no friends and just can't make any. My best friend committed suicide when we were 18 and I lost another friend because of the whole situation. Now I find it so hard to find places to meet people that I can talk to and to just open my mouth and say something. I'm sure I'm scared of rejection and I compare them all to my friend so none of them seem good enough. I'm too hard on everyone. The other thing that makes me so mad and sad is that it's put a strain on my relationship with my boyfriend. I've become such a different person. I just want to get a friend and be happy. I want my boyfriend to smile more, I want to be his friend again instead of his patient. I feel like he tiptoes around me all of the time. I just want to be happy and go out with girls my age. I want to dance and drink. I want to talk about boyfriends and hair. I want to be a girl. I just want. I hate feeling this way and I just have to thank you for caring enough to talk to me. It means a lot!! :D sorry for the lengthy answer
goingoofy2
Jun 20, 2007, 06:56 PM
Hey Snap... Snap out of it! Do you work? If so, do you have an opportunity to meet friends there? How about taking a stroll through the mall; certainly there are many people there in stores and out... start a conversation with someone, but with a smile and be interested in what they have to say too... people like to have conversations with those that are also interested in what they have to say.
I have found people are drawn to those who smile and have the positive vibes even if you are having a poopy day... When I was younger (in school) some mistook my quietness for being "stuck-up" I was devastated knowing I was not and I began to socialize more and I began to smile more too... from that point on I still have some of those same friends... and we laugh about how they thought I was so stuck up. It's hard for someone to approach a quiet person, a depressed person or one that is unapproachable... I was once that person... make the change my friend and soon you will see the people flocking around you, wanting to be around you... wanting to be your friend.
My thoughts and prayers are with you... breath in through the nose, out through the mouth... Now Smile... have a super evening!
snapdragon
Jun 20, 2007, 07:06 PM
Thank you. I have actually found that out myself. When I go out into the world I smile and am pleasant. I don't want people to see what's inside. I want people to like me. I just need to get over myself. I need to give people a chance. I need to step out of my comfort zone and take a chance at getting my heart ripped out again ( or what will most likely happen is that I'll make a friend). I just need to wake up and realize that there is no perfect friend. There are no perfect people. And she's not coming back, sometimes it feels like I'm just waiting for her. I just need to be slapped in the face and pushed into the world with no clothes on. Thanks for all you've done!
goingoofy2
Jun 20, 2007, 07:14 PM
Silly as it sounds... do you speak with her? Do you laugh about the fun things you used to do? Can you relate to the fun happy parts and try to skip over the sad parts? She would rather see you laughing than crying, she would rather see you happy then sad Snap... stand up and throw some water on your face... Smile! Tomorrow is another day and it will be great... each day you try will become easier... not every day will be flowers and sunshine, so allow those days and prepare to do something positive for yourself. I would never have been able to get through the multitude of situations I've been through had I not looked at the bright side... you can too and I promise, you'll have better days ahead!
B I g H U G s T o Y O U!
snapdragon
Jun 20, 2007, 07:26 PM
I can't tell you how much you're helping me. I don't talk to her, I actually do the opposite. Which I'm sure is bad. I try to forget about it. I had a dream the other night that I shot her in the head. It woke me up and for a few seconds I thought it was a bad dream and that she was still alive, I wanted to call her. It was the first time I'd dreamt of her for years. I think maybe she was trying to tell me something. Or maybe I was trying to tell myself something. Thanks for the advice. I know this is a strange question, but how would I go about doing this? And should I be expecting her to talk back in some way?
goingoofy2
Jun 20, 2007, 07:35 PM
Well... I'm certainly not a psychic, however when I lost a dear friend of mine in a bad car accident, I would often just look up and talk, I would yell, I would cry and I would write letters, and in the end I would laugh remembering the goofy faces he made or the jokes he would tell... I hate to say it Snap, but you're putting bad thoughts in your head, therefore you're having bad dreams or thinking bad thoughts... Evidently she's weighing heavy on your mind so either write her a long letter of all your thoughts or just talk... whatever makes you feel better. Again, try to remember the PoSiTiVe and the things that made you laugh and giggle together... it's worth a try! Who knows, somewhere down the road you may even see signs of her.
Stay positive!!
ahker
Jun 25, 2007, 05:44 AM
U can talk to me... I also sometime feel like you..
wrightsonjon
Jun 25, 2007, 05:49 AM
i would really like to talk to soemone right now, i can't stop crying. I'll talk about your kids, or your relationship anything, i just need to talk to somebody I'm not suicidal a am just really sad right now
I saw your "need to talk" posted June 19. If you still need to talk, let me know, I am a pastors wife and will listen well.
snapdragon
Jun 26, 2007, 08:35 AM
I just wanted to thank everybody for their help. My broyfriend actually has helped me to snap out of it. It took some extreme measures, but, I am now ready to take a big leap. I have left the apartment to stay with my parents for about a week to help my mom while she has a hysterectomy and as soon as I get back I have decided to do what I have been putting off for so long. I'm going for help. I hate that it took me and my boyfrind to almost breakup up I think he knew what I needed to get things straight. Thank everybody for your help!! Now to start my journey, it all starts from here.
snapdragon
Jun 27, 2007, 07:37 PM
:D thanks to everybody for your help. My boyfriend and I have come to some extreme measures, but I'm finally snapping out of it. I'm taking the plunge and going to get help. He made it very clear to me that I need help for both our sakes. I'm home for a few days to get out of my apartment and that town. My mom is having a hysterectomy and I wanted to be with her for her surgery. Thank you everyone for your help!! This is the start of a long and happy life. My boyfriend doesn't know it, but I think he thanks you too. It's nice to know I have people who will listen and understand. THANK YOU!:D
picklepie
Nov 18, 2007, 10:22 AM
i would really like to talk to soemone right now, i can't stop crying. I'll talk about your kids, or your relationship anything, i just need to talk to somebody I'm not suicidal a am just really sad right now
I know how you feel because Im really sad right now and all I want to do is cry because I don't know what else to do. Somebody I care about has walked out on me. We were living together for 2 and a half years and yesterday he came back for his things and went. I can't begin to describe how lonely I feel
Beentherebefore
Jan 20, 2008, 09:06 PM
Snapdragon and Picklepie;
Are things better now for both of you?